$20,000 lesson

[PlayfulAlex]

It's called " marketing " . Tell you what you want to hear. A ..." high and mighty " fell good statement :nod:.

Think with the right head and read the signs sober

As has been said before, this is the tricky side of the industry. The SP's job is to provide a wonderful experience, the best she knows how, actually. The gentleman's job is to find the lady whom he feels will most likely provide the experience that he is looking for. After that, it's all about boundaries and ethics. If you feel you're getting played, on either side, the best thing to do is to walk away...

 

[CanineCowboy]

I want to clarify my initial post. I was not trying to open up a forum for bashing sex workers and for questioning their motivations. I intended to highlight that long term client-sex worker relations can be hard to navigate.

Everything we did felt like magic and I enjoyed the intimacy that was created as we got to know each other. I wanted her to have choice in our activities as I wanted to have authentic experiences.

Issues began to arise because I was egocentric. I expected her to love me in a way that was not realistic or of her choosing. I began to feel pangs of jealousy and allowed myself to felt slighted whenever possible. For me to feel wronged by her for not performing a sex act with me is wrong. I was ignoring her right to choose and was trying to impose my will over her. When you feel insecure, it is hard to recognize yourself as victimizing someone else.

The purpose of my post was meant for people to self examine themselves so that they have clarity in their relations. It is a pay for play environment and no matter how much money you spend, you should not forget that there is no entitlement or ownership. I was trying to live a delusion that I created.

 

[Alix Turner]

I want to clarify my initial post. I was not trying to open up a forum for bashing sex workers and for questioning their motivations. I intended to highlight that long term client-sex worker relations can be hard to navigate.

Everything we did felt like magic and I enjoyed the intimacy that was created as we got to know each other. I wanted her to have choice in our activities as I wanted to have authentic experiences.

Issues began to arise because I was egocentric. I expected her to love me in a way that was not realistic or of her choosing. I began to feel pangs of jealousy and allowed myself to felt slighted whenever possible. For me to feel wronged by her for not performing a sex act with me is wrong. I was ignoring her right to choose and was trying to impose my will over her. When you feel insecure, it is hard to recognize yourself as victimizing someone else.

The purpose of my post was meant for people to self examine themselves so that they have clarity in their relations. It is a pay for play environment and no matter how much money you spend, you should not forget that there is no entitlement or ownership. I was trying to live a delusion that I created.

you had a right to ask and she wasn't obligated to expose her inner thoughts on the subject but it would have been less painful if you had acknowledged that her actions were the result of her feeling differently than you wanted her to, and/or if she had taken the time to really be candid about what her boundaries were and restricted herself to promising only what she was going to be able to come through on consistently. It's hard on both sides to keep what we think we want from tainting our impression of what we experience, but it gets easier with practice and perspective.

 

[booblover]

you got lucky at $20 000! I know of a few ladys that scored apartments, $30 000 spending sprees over a weekend or two, houses off of the suckers that fall for SP's. Now that isn't every case but guys have to wake up and take a reality check! You are dating someone who generally is in the business to score big bucks off of guys who don't or can't meet women. The minute money is leaving your wallet and going to the "other side" you had better think twice about why this is happening if I am in a relationship with her.

 

[sevenofnine]

I agree there is no point in bashing the girls.
It takes two,

If the ladies ever really told us what they thought about us,
would anyone of us go back.

 

[sevenofnine]

I think the key is communication.

If you think she is lieing to you, get the fuck out.


I used to ask my sp, straight out, where are we what are we to each other, we have a busineess arrangement thats all she said,
It felt like more to be, but that is how she defined it, ok,
so I knew where I stood.

The last year or so it changed, she defined us as friends. maybe more, not really going to go into it.

She actually wanted it both ways, friends when it suited her and this is just business, when it worked for her that way,

I called her on it, and told her pick one or the other, your not both. I can do either or I told her, but I need you to pick one,

She did without hesitation,

And I think that is a lot of the problems when you get close to an sp,
they all so want to be your friend, but when it suits them, hey this is just business,

And not to blame an sp, or bash them, I think it comes natural. When the shit hits the fan this is a job afer all.

It really is tough, I think for both of us, in this.

How many ladies kind of like a guy in this, and fall for him, but he is married simply out for the sex and uses her,
it works both ways,
For every guy who has a story to tell, I bet you there is a women with a story to tell as well.

I think communication is the key

and when the words that come out of somones mouth don't match with their actions, then the other party should get the hell out sooner not latter.

 

[Tugela]

Its pretty funny how many SPs have told me "Im there type" just so I would keep coming back and paying them in hopes that maybe I'll get a date with them. Pretty pathetic

Ummm...if you are being offered a GFE experience, you are paying them to say that. That is what a GFE is. Did you expect them to say they would never date a guy like you IRL in a million years? What kind of GFE experience would that be???. What you are doing is confusing the fantasy you contracted for with reality. The problem is not with them, they are doing what they are supposed to do, the problem is with you.

When they say "you are their type", it means that you are the type of client they would like to see, not the type of guy they want to have a romantic relationship with.

 

[sdw]

I read this stuff and I'm so happy that I am under no illusions of why a SP has sex with me.

I think that all of the suckers - sorry, guys - that think that if you pay enough the SP will "LOVE" you should spend a few months on any of the dating sites.

You will quickly find out that you aren't attractive enough, aren't wealthy enough for any but the most desperate of women.

That's when you will finally be content to pay for and receive GFE with an SP without thinking that she's going to fall in love with you. The SPs that want to have a BF or GF already have a SO. They don't want to have a client hanging around, making demands, telling them how they should live their lives so that the client will have a GF with enough going for her so that she's totally out of his reach in the real world.

$20,000 is really only 20 appointments with an elite SP or 40 appointments with one of the high quality SPs. Why would a lady that gets $1,000 an appointment want to "fall in love" with somebody that thinks $20,000 is a lot of money and that she should give herself to him for all time? She does better every time she sees a new client.

 

[Tugela]

That's not what I take from what he said. "You are my type" has essentially one meaning and we all know it. A girl may play it off after that she meant "you are my type of client" if she's called out for being a hustler/player. There's many many other ways to say that she likes you as a client without sending mixed signals.

He is paying her to be his girlfriend for an hour (or whatever). I don't see any mixed signal, what I see is a client who has forgotten why both of them are there.

 

[Lady Kay]

well done Violet and Tugela, thats my half cent

 

[sevenofnine]

yeah i agree it is very easy for a guy to make more of this then it is,
your kind of stupid if you think other wise.

that is why i don't get why single guys who want to settle down are here,

married guys i understand, married guys who are never going to leave there wife, i get it.

its sex with no strings attached.


The first thing that goes through my mind when an sp asks me to stay or go for supper,
is what the fuck are you doing

It is not why were here.

But saying that, some times you do get along with the lady, its very comfortable and easy to be with her. For some reason there is a bond a connection between you, go fiqure

but even then it sure isn't a easy road.

 

[Guardian Angel]

I have had the opportunity to have had a sugar daddy relationship on a few occasions. In my life there is no room at this time for a steady relationship nor the time to develop a solid relationship. So when I have met a lady who, in her spare time is offering to join me for dinners, maybe a BBBQ on my deck or any other activities when available I have enjoyed this arrangement.

Yes you do get attached emotionally, as, if you are human, there is always a factor of caring for someone as you get to know them.

I suggest if you worry about the money you donate, spare or use to enjoy your time together, chalk it up to the fun times you had, don't let her business get in the way of your emotions and when she is ready to fly away, be thankful for the good times.

Another day, perhaps another lady and yes, more money. But hey, if you are in this world, then realize it is most often temporary and never let yourself feel down when the fling is over.

In my case I have 6 or so real decent lady friends from my adventures, some still in the business and some long since retired. it is nice when the friendship lasts.

G.A.

 

[PlayfulAlex]

Its pretty funny how many SPs have told me "Im there type" just so I would keep coming back and paying them in hopes that maybe I'll get a date with them. Pretty pathetic

Ummm...if you are being offered a GFE experience, you are paying them to say that. That is what a GFE is. Did you expect them to say they would never date a guy like you IRL in a million years? What kind of GFE experience would that be???. What you are doing is confusing the fantasy you contracted for with reality. The problem is not with them, they are doing what they are supposed to do, the problem is with you.

When they say "you are their type", it means that you are the type of client they would like to see, not the type of guy they want to have a romantic relationship with.

Actually, it is up to the recipient of such a comment to determine what's underneath it. So I'm with SissyCuck on this one. There is a difference between a genuine GFE experience, and a hustle, or a lack of ethics.

If an SP meets someone who seems to be emotionally raw or weak or hurt, perhaps from bad previous relationship experiences, should she capitalize on that and lie to them to make them come around more often? No. Should she make every visitor feel like King Kong? Yes. The recipient has to know the difference, and develop his skills of discernment if he discovers that his radar isn't very good...

 

[PlayfulAlex]

Well said Alex.

Thanks!

 

[MelodyMerlotSask]

exactly, if a sp cares about you, she wouldn't want your money. trust me I know :-(
been there, done that, learned my lesson the hard way.
from the sp point of view, its just as bad an idea to fall for a client, no matter how often you see him or how amazing he treats you.
in the end, youre still just a piece of ass...*shrugs*....

 

[hornygandalf]

in the end, youre still just a piece of ass...*shrugs*....

I think you over-simplify and generalize here. Yes, many occasions that is true. But there are also men who are lonely, looking for intimacy, and for whom sex is only one part of the bigger experience. And they may genuinely fall for their SP as a result. Their 'ass' is only part of the experience, and what they give in terms of affection, listening, and helping the guy feel he is worthwhile and appreciated, is worth much more than the sex act itself.

 

[MelodyMerlotSask]

I think you over-simplify and generalize here. Yes, many occasions that is true. But there are also men who are lonely, looking for intimacy, and for whom sex is only one part of the bigger experience. And they may genuinely fall for their SP as a result. Their 'ass' is only part of the experience, and what they give in terms of affection, listening, and helping the guy feel he is worthwhile and appreciated, is worth much more than the sex act itself.

of course it is. I find most of my clients reach out not only for sex, but for the basic human need of physical contact, to feel cared for.
(one of the reasons I do mostly longer sessions is so I can provide that experience)
but heres a scenario, from an sp perspective.

you are ordered up for the night randomly by a stranger, who happens to be single and handsome and funny and treats you with utmost respect while still rocking your world in bed.
and its an amazing night
the next day....he orders you up AGAIN. repeat! Once again an amazing night.
and over the next few months, you see this person quite a few times, its always the same.
you have met his co workers, fucked in his mothers house, helped him pack up and move from one location to the next....and when he moves, he still wants you, so you drive halfway across the country to see him when he wants you. again and again.
and then eventually its MORE....because one cant help but care about someone, especially...ugh!.....
anyways end of story...after all that....im still just a piece of ass to him.

hence my bitchier than normal attitude as of late.

so yeah, in future, I wont be letting myself get attached.
just from my personal point of view
mel

 

[Jessica James]

Melody thank you so much for sharing your experience . I have come to view these heart breaks as an indicator I have grown in my abilities to create that fantasy all men are looking for when they seek out our company. This may actually be an indicator that you should raise your rates and project the courtesan experience. I know you might be like NO way I would rather give 100$ blow jobs and not have the hassle lol but I encourage you to see yourself as others do and remember this . When you are a Queen you must live as a Queen lives. Think how a queen thinks, and act as a Queen does. The clients have made it clear your worth to them and as heart breaking as this particular experience is I see this as growth and Im proud of you.

Stay strong woman! Nothing wrong with being a good piece of ass when you know your the total package !trust and believe !
xo
Jessica James

 

[MelodyMerlotSask]

Melody thank you so much for sharing your experience . I have come to view these heart breaks as an indicator I have grown in my abilities to create that fantasy all men are looking for when they seek out our company. This may actually be an indicator that you should raise your rates and project the courtesan experience. I know you might be like NO way I would rather give 100$ blow jobs and not have the hassle lol but I encourage you to see yourself as others do and remember this . When you are a Queen you must live as a Queen lives. Think how a queen thinks, and act as a Queen does. The clients have made it clear your worth to them and as heart breaking as this particular experience is I see this as growth and Im proud of you.

Stay strong woman! Nothing wrong with being a good piece of ass when you know your the total package !trust and believe !
xo
Jessica James

awe! thank you! I don't do $100 anything, lol im one of those girls who will take a client for the night, not an hour.
it was a hard lesson learned, and yes at times I do give too much of myself, but i dunno, i guess it was worth it anyways, despite the heartache
thank you for your kind words,
mel

 

[cherise]

I think the key is communication.

If you think she is lieing to you, get the fuck out.


I used to ask my sp, straight out, where are we what are we to each other, we have a busineess arrangement thats all she said,
It felt like more to be, but that is how she defined it, ok,
so I knew where I stood.

The last year or so it changed, she defined us as friends. maybe more, not really going to go into it.

She actually wanted it both ways, friends when it suited her and this is just business, when it worked for her that way,

I called her on it, and told her pick one or the other, your not both. I can do either or I told her, but I need you to pick one,

She did without hesitation,

And I think that is a lot of the problems when you get close to an sp,
they all so want to be your friend, but when it suits them, hey this is just business,

And not to blame an sp, or bash them, I think it comes natural. When the shit hits the fan this is a job afer all.

It really is tough, I think for both of us, in this.

How many ladies kind of like a guy in this, and fall for him, but he is married simply out for the sex and uses her,
it works both ways,
For every guy who has a story to tell, I bet you there is a women with a story to tell as well.

I think communication is the key

and when the words that come out of somones mouth don't match with their actions, then the other party should get the hell out sooner not latter.

and how many guys play the sp to try to get free sessions? maybe many of us have met and fallen for the right client but cant trust that hes genuine since soooo many pooners from all different walks of life play the game to see what they can get and to stroke their own ego! its a dangerous game and then men wonder why so many sps are cold,mechanical and 100% business .