19 yr old woman falls 26 stories in surrey

It's precisely why so many cases end up as:

A) The victim in hospital & held in psych for their own good
B) The victim dead
C) The abuser dead (once the victim snaps completely)


It's just that tough to break an ingrained cycle.
In my entire adult life I have not once heard a sex assault victim ever go from triage to psych ward due to anger expressed at the perpetrator and where there is no known existing medical condition that impairs judgment . Domestic violence and sex assault victims are released within hours or minutes with a card to call victims assistance and they will come bedside or to the persons house if they are interested which often times they ( the survivor ) are not . Domestic violence has a different protocol and much more standard because females in long term violent relationships are murdered and so are their children once they return . I can't think of any law that tells someone who they can love even with threats of children's removal , severe and permanent injury or incarceration will not stop a woman in love with her abuser . This is not Stockholm syndrome nor does it resemble it in anyway .

I have not heard of one case In British Columbia where a woman retaliated against her abuser and was charged and convicted and sentenced for that crime

In cases of domestic violence towards the female in canada it is extremely rare where the woman snaps and kills her domestic partner . I'm not saying it doesn't or hasn't happened its just so rare that I really would not consider this a main worry for law enforcement . The fact is that if the woman ends up injured in the hospital from domestic violence it is almost a given if she returns to that partner she will most likely leave the hospital only to return ( eventually ) in a body bag .
 

rockinbods35

Active member
Aug 12, 2007
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In cases of domestic violence towards the female in canada it is extremely rare where the woman snaps and kills her domestic partner . I'm not saying it doesn't or hasn't happened its just so rare that I really would not consider this a main worry for law enforcement . The fact is that if the woman ends up injured in the hospital from domestic violence it is almost a given if she returns to that partner she will most likely leave the hospital only to return ( eventually ) in a body bag[/QUOTE said:
And that is the sad truth..does speaking out change that?..Having the women disclose the abuse to anyone and everyone?..if abuse can't thrive in darkness, does shining a spotlight on it make the abuser less likely to continue?..or more likely to harm the victim out of anger for being exposed?..

Does anyone have links to studies that demonstrate an approach that has success in getting women safely out of abusive relationships or getting abusers to stop abusing or let the women go without killing them?
 

rockinbods35

Active member
Aug 12, 2007
590
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I have a scenario I would like an opinion on: what do you do when you are out in a social setting and the abuser and victim are arguing?..you may be a friend of the abuser or the victim and perhaps you are with them at the time...the abuser is using demeaning language..putting down the victim etc..should you speak up and say something?..Tell him/her that you don't appreciate how they are speaking to the other party? How would you or should you frame such a response if it is even appropriate to do so.

I welcome your thoughts
 

cherise

lounge access denied :(
Aug 6, 2012
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I have a scenario I would like an opinion on: what do you do when you are out in a social setting and the abuser and victim are arguing?..you may be a friend of the abuser or the victim and perhaps you are with them at the time...the abuser is using demeaning language..putting down the victim etc..should you speak up and say something?..Tell him/her that you don't appreciate how they are speaking to the other party? How would you or should you frame such a response if it is even appropriate to do so.

I welcome your thoughts
i have been in that situation more than once unfortunately. first few times i spoke up and threatened the abuser ....which ultimately made it worse for the victim. the last time i simply walked away, made a quick phone call and rejoined the couple saying something along the lines of "cmon guys ,cool it . i just heard someone saying they were gonna call the cops" . stalled for time trying to keep the peace until the moment my phone rang once . i excused myself and said i had to go,work just paged. next thing i know ,loser boy was packed and gone by the following morning.

sadly ,that isnt going to solve the problem...only this one instance . and most likely temporarily...if not with the same guy ,odds are she will hook up with another one .the cycle is hard to break
 
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