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Asian Fever

Visit our Website
Supporting Member
Oct 27, 2018
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113
Vancouver
asianfever.ch
Brosan recommends, book now!
 

Asian Fever

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What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me."
 

Asian Fever

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What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.
 

Asian Fever

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What's long, green, and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's fingers.
 

Asian Fever

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Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? He only comes once a year.
 

Asian Fever

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What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?

She gagged.
 

Asian Fever

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What's the difference between purple and pink? The grip.
 

Asian Fever

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Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll? Ken came in another box.
 

Asian Fever

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Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you. But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
 

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As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
 

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A husband says to his wife, "Why don’t you tell me when you orgasm?" She replies, "I don’t like calling you when you’re at work."
 
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Asian Fever

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My girlfriend thought I'd be a pushover in bed, and wouldn't you know it, she had me pegged from the start.
 

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A mailman is making his route. On his last day before retirement, he gets to one of the last houses when the lady of the house answers the door in a slinky negligee and says, "Today is your last day, isn’t it? Come with me; I have a surprise for you."

She takes him by the hand and leads him into the house where he finds a complete breakfast feast laid out for him—eggs, pancakes, bacon, the works. The mailman stuffs himself, pushes back from the table, and says, "Thank you ma’am, this was wonderful, but I really should finish my route."

She stops him and informs him there’s more, then leads him into the bedroom where she proceeds to give him the best sex he’s ever had—every position he can think of until he’s about ready to pass out. Finally, they finish and he says, "Thank you ma’am, this was amazing, but I really should finish my route."

She stops him and says, "I have one more thing for you," and then reaches over to the nightstand, pulls out a crisp $5 bill, and hands it to him. Confused, the mailman says, "Ma’am, the breakfast was amazing, the sex was mind-blowing, but what is up with the five dollars?"

The lady responds, "Well, my husband and I were watching TV last night when I said, 'Hey, tomorrow is the mailman’s last day, think we should do something?' And he said, 'Fuck ’em. Give him 5 bucks.' But breakfast was my idea!”
 
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Asian Fever

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Joe wanted to buy a Harley motorcycle. He doesn't have much luck, until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it.

The bike looks better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It's shiny and in mint condition.

He buys it and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.

'Well, it's quite simple,' says the seller, 'whenever the bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain, and he

hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.

That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents.

Naturally, they take the bike there.

Just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to

tell you something about my family.

'When we eat dinner, we don't talk.

In fact, the FIRST person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.'

'No problem,' he says.. And in they go.

Joe is shocked.Right in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes.

In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks dirty dishes.

They sit down to dinner, and sure enough, no one says a word.

As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation.

He leans over and kisses Sandra.

No one says a word.

He reaches over and fondles her breasts. Nobody says a word.

So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table

and screws her, right there in front of her parents.

His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.

He looks at her mom. She's got a great body too.

Joe grabs mom, bends her over the table, pulls down her panties, and screws her every which way right there on the dinner table.

She has a big orgasm, & Joe sits down.

His girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling, & Mom is beaming from ear to ear. But still ... . Total silence.

All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.

Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.

Suddenly the father shouts.

I'll do the fuckin’ dishes!!
 
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Asian Fever

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A man gets onto a city bus and sees an attractive nun. Wanting to have sex with her, he goes up and asks, "Will you have sex with me?"

"Of course not!" the nun said unnervingly and got off the bus.

Before the depressed man left the bus, the bus driver stops him and says, "I know how you can screw her: On Sundays, she prays at the local cemetery. While she is praying, dress as God and she'll have sex with you. Put on a mask, robes, and a lot of glitter."

That Sunday, the man takes the advice, gets into the costume and hides behind a gravestone. Shortly, the nun appears and prays.

The man pops out from the gravestone and declares, "I am God, and I command you to have sex with me."

The nun replies, "Sure, but only if we have anal sex, so I can remain a virgin.”

So they have anal sex.

After sex the man rips off his mask and laughs, I'm not God! I'm that man from the bus! Ha!"

Immediately the nun rips off her mask and says "Ha! I'm the bus driver!"
 

Asian Fever

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Brosan Recommends
 

Asian Fever

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So there’s this girl right (we’ll call her Ashley)

Ashley’s been flat chested her whole life and as she approaches her mid 20s she wants to get a boob job.

So she goes to see this doctor by the name of Dr. bob, and Dr. bob tells her if she wants bigger boobs all she has to do is wake up every morning, rub her chest, and at the same time say “scooby dooby doo, I want bigger boobs.”

So she starts doing this for a couple weeks and she realizes it’s starting to work, but one morning while she’s taking the bus she realizes she forgot about her new morning routine. So she looks around, makes sure the coast is clear, and rubs her chest while saying “scooby dooby doo, I want bigger boobs.”

All of a sudden the guy behind her goes “hey! Have you been seeing Dr. Bob too?” And she goes “yeah? How do you know?”

And the man responds “hickory dickory dock.”
 

Asian Fever

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Man sits down at the bar and orders 10 shots. Bartender goes "Jesus, you celebrating something?" The man answers, "Why yes, my first blow job" The bartender congratulates the man and offers the 11th shot on the house. The man, however, declines the offer. "If 10 doesn't get rid of the taste, 11 sure as hell won't".
 

Asian Fever

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A typical macho man married a typical good looking lady, and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules. "I'll be home when I want, if I want, what time I want, and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table, unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card playing when I want with my old buddies, and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?" His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night, whether you're here or not."
 
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