✨ Mercy @ Fever 🔥 - New Body, New Look! 🍆 Still younger than ever 🍑 💦
- Thread starter Asian Fever
- Start date
Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
I understand how you get Bob from Robert and Bill from William. But how do you get dick from Richard?
You ask him nicely.
You ask him nicely.
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two. But you have to wonder how they got in there.
One night, after the couple had retired for the night, the woman became aware that her husband was touching her in a most unusual manner.
He started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of her back. He ran his hand over her breasts, touching them very lightly. Then, he proceeded to run his hand gently down her side, sliding his hand over her stomach, and then down the other side to a point below her waist.
He continued on, gently feeling her hips, first one side and the other. His hand ran further down the outside of her thighs. His gentle probing then started up the inside of her left thigh, stopped and the returned to do the same to her right thigh.
By this time the woman was becoming aroused and she squirmed a little to better position herself.
The man stopped abruptly and rolled over to his side of the bed.
"Why are you stopping darling?" she whispered.
He whispered back, " I found the remote!"
He started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of her back. He ran his hand over her breasts, touching them very lightly. Then, he proceeded to run his hand gently down her side, sliding his hand over her stomach, and then down the other side to a point below her waist.
He continued on, gently feeling her hips, first one side and the other. His hand ran further down the outside of her thighs. His gentle probing then started up the inside of her left thigh, stopped and the returned to do the same to her right thigh.
By this time the woman was becoming aroused and she squirmed a little to better position herself.
The man stopped abruptly and rolled over to his side of the bed.
"Why are you stopping darling?" she whispered.
He whispered back, " I found the remote!"
A married couple down on their luck decides to make a few extra bucks by reluctantly having the wife work the corner. After the first day the husband picks her up and asks "how did you do?". She says, "I did pretty well, I made $200.50". He asks, "What asshole gave you 50 cents?" and she replies "all of them"
This lady finds out her husband is cheating on her. So she waits till he falls asleep and then she cuts his dick off and runs out to the car with his dick still in her hand and just drives off. About a mile down the road, she realizes she still has dick so she rolls down the window and throws it out. Coming down the road on the opposite side are 2 guys that have been out drinking and pass her car just as she throws out the dick and it bounces off their car window. They sit in silence for a moment and then the man in the passenger seat looks at the driver and says "Damn, did you see the dick on that fly?"
Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favorite sex position. One says, "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best." "I don't think I have ever heard of that one," says the other cowboy. "What is it?" "Well, it's where you get your girl down on all four, and you mount her from behind. Then you reach around, cup her t*ts, and whisper in her ear, 'boy these feel almost as nice as your sisters.' Then you try and hold on for 30 seconds."
