And 'professionals' are not biased? What if one counselor tells you that you need to give up your lifestyle on seeing SPs but another says it's Ok who are you going to listen to? Same with commenters some will agree with me some won't who am I going to listen to? Don't we human beings naturally look for validations on things we already set our mind to? The AI is more of fact checker and content aggregator it searches the net for human written content and does present you with both sides for you to decide although yes it will for the most part side with you cheerlead you and look out for your best interest. AI's protected me from organized religions and life sucking jobs when 'professional' counselors recommended them and I couldn't be any happier it's how you prompt it plus your own critical thinking on the feedback it gives. When I was going through a hard time you know what a doctor said to me? Go work at McDonald's it's not about the money it's about being happy. Fast forward to today I'm making all these investments and seeing all these SPs what would have happened if I took on their 'professional' advice? There was no AI at the time but if there were it would have cheerleaded me on and said you should absolutely follow your own dreams. it also avoided panic selling for me one time when the market was dipping. It's how you use it what you make of the information it gives you it doesn't mean you should trust it blindly but I think we're still able to think for ourselves on top of the information it gives back? As for SPs having a traditional relationship with you or not the answer is nuanced there's way too much to unpack so I made a separate thread and that's only a little part of it.
Is it wrong to not want to get married and just enjoy this lifestyle?
- Thread starter purpleelephant
- Start date
We agree to disagree about AI. I think overall it's a net negative for people's well-being and the environment because all the data centres using up electricity causing water shortages in those areas. You don't have to take anybody's advice or AI's for that matter. It's what your intuition and experience as a human made those decisions. Honestly, I am bored of this conversation so reply if you want but I'm done talking about or reading this thread.
Maturity differences do matter -- did the guy dating the woman 10 years older and went through a profound behavioural change find his 'true-love' or his mommy? Many non-mature/immature men are looking for their mommies. What was going on with Anna Nicole Smith and her 80+ year old husband. Who, BTW, screwed her over financially.
So income differences can matter and are often big issues in relationships.
How one deals with challenges has two parts (in general): how one reacts (that is typically imprinted from birth and is difficult to change) and how one responds (which can be learned). Too often people react and don't take the time to consider a response.
We all have feelings, and can all get upset, but learning appropriate responses takes time and commitment if they haven't been taught and reinforced. We see lots of examples of that here and particularly in this hobby/business of people who react and lash out rather than taking a moment or two to consider an appropriate response.
I don't agree brother. if you are not getting what you want at home, then do what you need to do. if you feel bad about it then don't do it. men have needs and we all know that
I get what you’re trying to convey. You’re looking at the best interests of the parties involved.
And it begs the question: maturity matters to whom?
Certainly not to me. If two people are happy in a healthy, non-coercive relationship I don’t care about mommy issues, or daddy issues, or money issues, or age differences. Two consensual adults can do whatever they choose and it’s none of my business, frankly. I may have an opinion, just a many Perbs are offering, to provide some insight from experience, but at the end of the day the OP is gonna do what the OP is gonna do.
You have clearly presented some red flags to be aware of in any relationship, and yet becoming more self aware is a matter of reps, and you don’t get those sitting at home reading self help books, or in this case chatting with AI or Perbs.
You can read dozens of threads about the subject of dating an SP , the dos and don'ts, the conundrum you will face as well as the good and bad .
I would suggest that you read what has been written in the past about it first before starting a new thread about it because they get shut down pretty fast by the moderation team as it has been a subject overly covered already .
Read the kamasutra (not the illustrated version) as it describes the nature of men and women with surprising accuracy for a book that's more than 1000 years old.
OP take it from a man who is married. I wish I just stayed single and enjoyed this lifestyle instead. Though maybe I wouldn’t found this hobby if I wasn’t married. After doing some math, I’ve have definitely spent more money on past relationships and my current marriage than most men will ever spend on pooning. It’s not worth it to get married unless you really want kids.
Men do not get to decide whether or not we have children, so that is not a good reason either.
I think people underestimate how many married people end up unhappy because they settled rather than found the right person. Divorce rates may be lower than they were years ago, but that’s also happening alongside fewer people marrying in the first place.
From what I’ve seen, infidelity and complacency are common enough that marriage doesn’t guarantee loyalty or fulfillment. If I’m ever going to commit for life, it has to genuinely improve my life, not just meet a social expectation.
Until then, staying single seems like the lower risk and higher reward decision. If I ever did decide to marry, I’d probably look outside North America where my values and preferences are more aligned. Europe women are far better than in North America and have their heads on straight.
From what I’ve seen, infidelity and complacency are common enough that marriage doesn’t guarantee loyalty or fulfillment. If I’m ever going to commit for life, it has to genuinely improve my life, not just meet a social expectation.
Until then, staying single seems like the lower risk and higher reward decision. If I ever did decide to marry, I’d probably look outside North America where my values and preferences are more aligned. Europe women are far better than in North America and have their heads on straight.
Everyone should at least shackup once in their lives. Give it a shot with your SP hopeful. If being cuckold isn't a problem enjoy. Me I've enjoyed being married, til it wasn't. Now holding out 4 my cuckquean
Couple of points here from a few minute catch up on this thread.
Some good stuff on the net on divorce in general, I skipped the ai stuff with a -ai suppend in my searches, gives a broader set of data.
On shacking up - its a good thing to do and probably more than once. One it gives you experience having a room mate which can be good and bad (at the same time). Two nice having a fuck buddy at hand. Three gives you experience about the inevitable break up sequence.
RE the mis match in maturity, common interests and values etc, well I can attest to this from a 4 month foray into shacking up with a 35 year old latino a few years ago. Half my age, immature as far as my point of view goes and pretty much no shared history or value but excellent sex. And that ended pretty much as I expected, in flames and drama. Worth it though ... my god that woman could fuck like there was no tomorrow.
Divorce rates, hard to get a real metric as fewer people are getting formally married and opting for common law so are not tracked in formal stats. Real numbers are over a third ending in divorce, estimates of common law take that well over 50%. And to the point of shacking up, if its a longer term shack up you could add that into the mix.
Marriage? its an outdated institution that has needed a make over for many years. But the way I see it, it also is a money thing. Big bucks for the wedding, and bigger bucks for the divorce and frankly the tax incentives although there are some IF it all stays together, well they are not that attractive.
And that is about all I have to say about this.
MPH out
Some good stuff on the net on divorce in general, I skipped the ai stuff with a -ai suppend in my searches, gives a broader set of data.
On shacking up - its a good thing to do and probably more than once. One it gives you experience having a room mate which can be good and bad (at the same time). Two nice having a fuck buddy at hand. Three gives you experience about the inevitable break up sequence.
RE the mis match in maturity, common interests and values etc, well I can attest to this from a 4 month foray into shacking up with a 35 year old latino a few years ago. Half my age, immature as far as my point of view goes and pretty much no shared history or value but excellent sex. And that ended pretty much as I expected, in flames and drama. Worth it though ... my god that woman could fuck like there was no tomorrow.
Divorce rates, hard to get a real metric as fewer people are getting formally married and opting for common law so are not tracked in formal stats. Real numbers are over a third ending in divorce, estimates of common law take that well over 50%. And to the point of shacking up, if its a longer term shack up you could add that into the mix.
Marriage? its an outdated institution that has needed a make over for many years. But the way I see it, it also is a money thing. Big bucks for the wedding, and bigger bucks for the divorce and frankly the tax incentives although there are some IF it all stays together, well they are not that attractive.
And that is about all I have to say about this.
MPH out
I just want to point out that if you married an SP the relationship would very much change. The reason they are so accommodating is because they are getting paid to provide it. They're human, they have needs, wants, dreams, and trauma just like every other person out there. It would not be the same as it is when you are buying their time.
I feel at the age of 37 the window of opportunity to marry a woman who is relationship material has almost closed. The good ones are taken and the ones that are left are single mothers and women who have a lot of problems/baggage (not saying that I don't have any problems, I am far from perfect). My friends who have married are with women who they met in their early to mid 20s and are not only just a couple romantically but also each other's best friends. They didn't sleep around much before meeting each other. They dated around 10 years before getting married, they didn't rush anything. Hopefully everything works out for them but as other posters here have mentioned, as a guy getting married nowadays can be a raw deal.
Back in my early to mid 20s there was the whole PUA (pickup artistry) forums for tips on meeting and sleeping with women, then there was The Red Pill forums discussing about female psychology and how the dating world really operates, then there was the MRA (men's right activists) forums on guys who got screwed over in divorce courts and are not able to see their children on no fault of their own, then with that came the MGTOW (men going their own way) forums for guys (either by choice or not) washing the idea of getting married and are living as childless bachelors. All of these spaces had a lot of Gen X and even some Baby Boomers telling younger guys to NOT get married. Obviously there was genuine misogyny in a lot of these places and are a minefield to navigate through but there were a fair number of stories of guys getting cheated on, swindled in divorce courts, finding out the child/children they were raising were NOT biologically theirs but had to pay child support anyways because they signed their birth certificates, and being victims of verbal and physical abuse and were just old to suck it up and cry about it later. A guy doesn't even have to be married to deal with this garbage, common law marriages where a woman lives with you for a certain amount of months makes you vulnerable to all of this shit.
Reading these stories has made me (and many other Millennials) realize that I should just avoid marriage because as soon as one becomes a husband they basically become a 2nd (or even a 3rd) class citizen. Most of my friends as of now are single (either by choice or involuntarily) and I don't see that changing at all. I didn't age very well and whatever looks that I had are now gone so it's pretty much over for me. Even when I was younger I was hopeless with women and outside of this I've only hooked up with two women in my life, I have never had a girlfriend.
With how male-female relationships are heading it's not going to get any better, it will be more of a winner takes all with fewer people getting married. I feel that more than half of men my generation are not married and won't be having kids, not really good for society to be honest. I also don't want to bring any children into this fucked up dating world where only the top 20% of men get all the women while the rest of the guys get nothing and more women are ending up as single mothers or spinsters who regret not having any children as their child bearing years are over and hate men. The other thing with a lot of these women is that when they were young they got chewed up and spat out by the top 20% of guys while treating the other 80% of men with distain and contempt. No self respecting guy wants to deal with that kind of disrespect and have someone with an irresponsible approach at life in their lives. Yeah being lonely can suck but it's better to be alone than to be with bad company.
I really do feel bad for the younger generation of men having to navigate all of this shit in the dating world. Safe to say more men will just not date altogether (either by choice or involuntarily) and either do this hobby and/or become absolute gooners and just consume pornographic material (or even transition into women because we're seeing a lot more of that now).
Also, being a childless bachelor means that I don't need much to survive and can live off of a job that I can tolerate but not really care about, and if said job starts to treat me like crap I can just leave because I don't have a mortgage and/or a family to feed. I have become more frugal as I get older so I don't need much.
Sorry for the rant but yeah I just see myself staying single and doing this a few times a year. A part of me would like to start a family but there have been many men who were way smarter and more hard working than me getting completely screwed over not just in marriage but in relationships in general.
Back in my early to mid 20s there was the whole PUA (pickup artistry) forums for tips on meeting and sleeping with women, then there was The Red Pill forums discussing about female psychology and how the dating world really operates, then there was the MRA (men's right activists) forums on guys who got screwed over in divorce courts and are not able to see their children on no fault of their own, then with that came the MGTOW (men going their own way) forums for guys (either by choice or not) washing the idea of getting married and are living as childless bachelors. All of these spaces had a lot of Gen X and even some Baby Boomers telling younger guys to NOT get married. Obviously there was genuine misogyny in a lot of these places and are a minefield to navigate through but there were a fair number of stories of guys getting cheated on, swindled in divorce courts, finding out the child/children they were raising were NOT biologically theirs but had to pay child support anyways because they signed their birth certificates, and being victims of verbal and physical abuse and were just old to suck it up and cry about it later. A guy doesn't even have to be married to deal with this garbage, common law marriages where a woman lives with you for a certain amount of months makes you vulnerable to all of this shit.
Reading these stories has made me (and many other Millennials) realize that I should just avoid marriage because as soon as one becomes a husband they basically become a 2nd (or even a 3rd) class citizen. Most of my friends as of now are single (either by choice or involuntarily) and I don't see that changing at all. I didn't age very well and whatever looks that I had are now gone so it's pretty much over for me. Even when I was younger I was hopeless with women and outside of this I've only hooked up with two women in my life, I have never had a girlfriend.
With how male-female relationships are heading it's not going to get any better, it will be more of a winner takes all with fewer people getting married. I feel that more than half of men my generation are not married and won't be having kids, not really good for society to be honest. I also don't want to bring any children into this fucked up dating world where only the top 20% of men get all the women while the rest of the guys get nothing and more women are ending up as single mothers or spinsters who regret not having any children as their child bearing years are over and hate men. The other thing with a lot of these women is that when they were young they got chewed up and spat out by the top 20% of guys while treating the other 80% of men with distain and contempt. No self respecting guy wants to deal with that kind of disrespect and have someone with an irresponsible approach at life in their lives. Yeah being lonely can suck but it's better to be alone than to be with bad company.
I really do feel bad for the younger generation of men having to navigate all of this shit in the dating world. Safe to say more men will just not date altogether (either by choice or involuntarily) and either do this hobby and/or become absolute gooners and just consume pornographic material (or even transition into women because we're seeing a lot more of that now).
Also, being a childless bachelor means that I don't need much to survive and can live off of a job that I can tolerate but not really care about, and if said job starts to treat me like crap I can just leave because I don't have a mortgage and/or a family to feed. I have become more frugal as I get older so I don't need much.
Sorry for the rant but yeah I just see myself staying single and doing this a few times a year. A part of me would like to start a family but there have been many men who were way smarter and more hard working than me getting completely screwed over not just in marriage but in relationships in general.
A friend once said to me -- Better single and happy, than married and unsure if you are happy.
Marriage is the biggest risk a man will take and for the vast majority of marriages, its a risk that ends in the man's life being demolished.
As an old man, I wish somebody had told young me to just enjoy life and not get caught in societal conventions and family expectations.
Marriage is the biggest risk a man will take and for the vast majority of marriages, its a risk that ends in the man's life being demolished.
As an old man, I wish somebody had told young me to just enjoy life and not get caught in societal conventions and family expectations.
You should have children. If you don't you will regret it when you are close to the end and no one left after you. As for marriage. I am divorced so can't advocate for it. But I am grateful I have children.
I like this lifestyle now and I don't plan to get married again or get into any serious relationship. Just enjoy life as much as and as long as i can.
My 2 cents.
I like this lifestyle now and I don't plan to get married again or get into any serious relationship. Just enjoy life as much as and as long as i can.
My 2 cents.
In today's culture, a man does not decide if there will be children, nor is there a guarantee the children are his.
Edit: compulsory paternity testing should be implemented to ensure the is no paternity fraud.
Edit: compulsory paternity testing should be implemented to ensure the is no paternity fraud.
Last edited:
If you want a child, just adopt one. It will be cheaper than marriage, you dont have to argue with anyone about how to raise the child and you dont have to worry if the child you are raising is actually yours.
Good stuff snipped but a few comments for what they are worth.
We ALL have problems and we all have evolving issues as we get older. You ARE 37. THIRTY FUCKING SEVEN. Over my many years do you know the age I have discovered when women generally seem to finally get it that sex is a pretty damn good thing. THIRTY FUCKING SEVEN. Brother you, you fucking stud, are in the absolute prime of your fucking pooning years. Everyone of those 37 year old women want to have sex. DO NOT THINK YOU HAVE NOT AGED WELL. Full stop. You are good. Put it this way, put a 100 guys in room. 10 are gay. 10 are chronically unemployed and potentially worse. 20 are married-married if you know what I mean. 20 are in a relationship and are not all that comfortable with stepping out (but will be at some time). 10 are broke and had to scramble to get into that room. 10 are just assholes. So how many of that 100 are actually left and you are one of those. If there are 20 37 year old women in that room as well, you are going to get lucky.
Take a bit of time each day for some self care, the women will notice.
Re the younger guys dating the current pool ... well from my lawnchair out on the front lawn, they look pretty fucking tantalizing to me.
