Something I’ve noticed in this space is how quickly people - both men and women - get shamed for being “too active.” Too many posts. Too visible. Too eager.
What’s interesting to me is how rarely that behaviour is examined as strategy or coping, and how often it’s reduced to a moral judgment instead. Sometimes women who are highly active in the lounge get labeled things like “lounge lizard”. Men don’t escape it either - they’re often framed as desperate, addicted, time-wasters, or guys who can’t get booked so they linger.
For some people, being highly active is a business strategy. Visibility, momentum & consistency all matter. In an unstable or competitive environment, activity can be the difference between security and stress.
For others, it’s a coping mechanism. When life feels uncertain, lonely, financially tight, emotionally overwhelming, or out of control, staying busy can be grounding. Movement can feel safer than stillness. Engagement, even if scrolling for hours and posting memes, can feel safer than isolation. This board does function as a form of social media - even if we don’t call it that.
And sometimes - it’s both.
What feels disappointing is how often we shame the behavior without understanding the context. We rarely know:
In reality, high engagement can mean a lot of things:
Maybe instead of asking “Why are they doing so much?”, a better question is “What is this doing for them right now?”
I’m genuinely curious how others see this—especially in an industry where instability is common and visibility is currency.
What’s interesting to me is how rarely that behaviour is examined as strategy or coping, and how often it’s reduced to a moral judgment instead. Sometimes women who are highly active in the lounge get labeled things like “lounge lizard”. Men don’t escape it either - they’re often framed as desperate, addicted, time-wasters, or guys who can’t get booked so they linger.
For some people, being highly active is a business strategy. Visibility, momentum & consistency all matter. In an unstable or competitive environment, activity can be the difference between security and stress.
For others, it’s a coping mechanism. When life feels uncertain, lonely, financially tight, emotionally overwhelming, or out of control, staying busy can be grounding. Movement can feel safer than stillness. Engagement, even if scrolling for hours and posting memes, can feel safer than isolation. This board does function as a form of social media - even if we don’t call it that.
And sometimes - it’s both.
What feels disappointing is how often we shame the behavior without understanding the context. We rarely know:
- Someone’s financial pressure
- Their mental health state
- Their support system (or lack of one)
- Whether activity is keeping them afloat or keeping them sane
In reality, high engagement can mean a lot of things:
- strategy
- boredom/loneliness
- curiosity
- regulation/habit
- community-seeking
- simply having more time right now.
Maybe instead of asking “Why are they doing so much?”, a better question is “What is this doing for them right now?”
I’m genuinely curious how others see this—especially in an industry where instability is common and visibility is currency.
