advice please

[Keithks]

I have this female acquaintance who told me we should hang out sometime. I've never received any signals from her that would indicate she's sexually or romantically interested in me. She probably just thinks I'm a cool guy or whatever. Still, she's the best prospect I've had in years (sad, huh?).

At this point in my life, I realize that being friends doesn't get a guy anywhere. I'd rather a girl tell me to fuck off than friendzone me. My attitude is this: if we're not having sex or it's not going to lead to that, then I don't want to hang out with you.

I'm thinking of inviting her over for dinner and a movie. If she doesn't accept my invitation, should I just give up? If she does, is that a clear sign that she's interested? Assuming she does, what should I do to? Should I act really flirty and touchy from the start? What should I talk about over dinner? And once we're sitting on the coach watching the movie, how do I transition things? Obviously my goal is to get laid that night.

 

[emilioa4]

yeah man, who knows, maybe she's got the total insider pass for hooking you up with some other girlfriends. i always found it good to keep some "girl" friends around.

 

[Mona_Ramone]

my dad always told me to watch out for, and stay far away from, men who have no women friends.

also, the friend zone is not always a one-way portal.

 

[rimas]

She told you she wants to hang out sometime - so hang out! Take her dancing. Take her to a movie, or dinner, or to the racetrack, or to the zoo, or aquarium, or whatever. Get to know her. Ask questions about her - show genuine interest in her answers. Find commonalities and say, "hey, I love that too. Maybe we should go pole jumping together next time we go out."

In other words, prove to her you are actually a cool guy or whatever - then fuck her brains out. She may appreciate it.

 

[Keithks]

I don't see anything wrong with my attitude. Most male-female "friendships" are the result of the guy failing to get the girl naked and then deciding to stick around in hopes that she'll change her mind or introduce him to other girls that will potentially get naked with him. I'm just being honest about it.

And for the record, I could hypothetically be friends with a girl (assuming she had a compatible personality, which is very rare). But we'd already have to be banging. If we weren't, there would just be too much sexual tension for me to handle. I'm not going to torture myself like that.

rimas, I appreciate your advice. Maybe I should try just hanging out in public first and maybe aim for a third date lay as opposed to a first date one. That seems more realistic. My only concern is that she doesn't get that it's a date. I've had this happen to me before actually. I asked a girl out years ago, and she thought we were just two pals hanging out. How do I express my interest without seeming like a creep?

 

[trackstar]

Sad attitude imo. Getting laid is easy and can happen with MANY women. Making a good friend is far more rare, yet far more meaningful.

 

[Keithks]

Sad attitude imo. Getting laid is easy and can happen with MANY women. Making a good friend is far more rare, yet far more meaningful.

You must be what the puas call a "natural" if you consider it easy. But for guys like me who've never had a woman touch them without paying for it, getting laid becomes a really huge priority, even moreso than friendship.

 

[Whackjob]

Here we go again.

https://perb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=113217

How pathetic. It`s obvious that the same woman is leading on two different Perb members. I wonder how many others she is planning on trapping in her "web of friendship".

I hope she gets a yeast infection.

 

[Flying High]

My attitude is this: if we're not having sex or it's not going to lead to that, then I don't want to hang out with you.

If that is where your head is at then make a move. Tell her it is "fuck or fuck off."

Although, if you're really wondering why you're alone read your own post

 

[Validator]

man to man - with that attitude, you are bound to fail no matter what strategy you employ. One thing that all girls like is keeping things light and funny. It is damn hard to do that with a negative perspective and, even if u fake it, ur true colours will seap out, maybe not that date but by the third date where you're expecting sex.

Anyway - why make things so serious with dinner and movie (snooooooze). Take her out for ice cream and a walk around the sea wall. Its all about slowing things down and making sure there is no pressure. She chooses whether u have sex with her, not other way around. Give her a reason to choose you, man.

 

[Keithks]

man to man - with that attitude, you are bound to fail no matter what strategy you employ. One thing that all girls like is keeping things light and funny. It is damn hard to do that with a negative perspective and, even if u fake it, ur true colours will seap out, maybe not that date but by the third date where you're expecting sex.

Anyway - why make things so serious with dinner and movie (snooooooze). Take her out for ice cream and a walk around the sea wall. Its all about slowing things down and making sure there is no pressure. She chooses whether u have sex with her, not other way around. Give her a reason to choose you, man.

I know it's not the right attitude to have for success, but it's hard to feel any differently when all you've ever experienced is rejection.

I probably should take her somewhere exciting as opposed to just inviting her over and expecting an easy lay. But I'm still not sure how I'm supposed to act on the date. For example, should I make physical contact with her, and if so how much is appropriate? Or do I wait for her to initiate contact? It's subtle issues like these that really confuse me.

 

[Keithks]

I'm going to be blunt and brutally honest here.

Your attitude absolutely sucks, and it's why you don't get laid. You see women as nothing more but a semen receptacle and they pick up on that. I promise you, we know when all you want to do is dump your load into an orifice.

Therefore, they do not, and probably will not sleep with you.

It has nothing to do with them being stuck up/arrogant, or your looks. It's 100% your attitude. It is the most unattractive feature a person could possibly have.

When you stop objectifying women as "a place to shove my cock after 3 dates" then you'll probably get laid with ease.

This attitude



seals the deal that you aren't getting laid. Guys who aren't open to the idea of even attempting a friendship without the guarantee of sex aren't going to get lucky very often, if at all unless they're using providers.

It's not like I came out of the womb this way. I used to have the typical feel good attitude you're expected to have. But a lifetime of rejection with zero success takes its toll on a person's psyche.

 

[Keithks]

I think this thread's run its course. I can see I'm not going to get anymore useful advice, just more posts pillorizing me. I should've known it was going to devolve like this.

 

[puck luck]

wasn't there a movie made about this years ago?

Harry : You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally : Why not?
Harry : What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally : That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry : No you don't.
Sally : Yes I do.
Harry : No you don't.
Sally : Yes I do.
Harry : You only think you do.
Sally : You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry : No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally : They do not.
Harry : Do too.
Sally : They do not.
Harry : Do too.
Sally : How do you know?
Harry : Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally : So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry : No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally : What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry : Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally : Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry : I guess not.
Sally : That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.

 

[deslicher]

Holy Crap, this thread might be more useful than mine......and Keithks, believe it or not I have some advice....Get her laughing dude, it makes you both feel good, naked or not.

Boy, I must be learning something. The interesting thing in my situation is that I once asked the question, If I had a gun to my head and the choice was bang her a few times and never see her again, or have a lasting close friendship with her that probably won't be sexual; I mostly choose the latter, I guess because I just friggin like her and we laugh alot.

Put me out of my misery....LOL

 

[Potter]

I've always had more female friends than male friends. The best friend that I have, with whom we can share/talk about anything, is a female. A good female friend can be invaluable in providing insight on ... I know this will be a shock .... female behavior.

And no, they didn't all end up in my bed. They didn't all stay out of it either. And I didn't have to use any advanced degrees to figure out which category.

 

[wilde]

BTW, anymore in this sense is spelled as two separate words.

BTW, just saying two words should suffice, the separate is redundant.

.

 

[Validator]

The guy wants to make experience pleasurable for both parties - but he just doesn't know HOW. Cut him some slack. I think he also gets the point that his attitude aint gonna cut it.

To add: if ur lifetime of chasing women with a good attitude proves unsuccessful and then u end up finding that chasing women with a bad attitude proves unsuccessful, then what? I know what u mean. Rejection is common, but the guys that do well are the ones that don't take rejection personally! Would u tell an actor heading into audition to be a jerk or to be normal/polite?


I really think u should scrap the dinner/movie idea and just go for a walk downtown or something and some drinks after. Don't worry about touching, flirting etc. U can flirt within ur conversations and a casual touch on the arm or knee would be good - but neither is necessary. keep her laughing and keep conversations light and she will touch and flirt with you.

It takes practice and "work". It doesn't come easy at first but it will. I saw things from ur perspective once and that didn't work. Sucked it up and tried different things (be outgoing, not shy, flirt, joke, etc) and my life has chhanged.

Good luck guy! Lemme know how it goes good or bad - pm me if u prefer (every no is one step closer to that yes)

 

[Sweetiepie]

BTW, just saying two words should suffice, the separate is redundant.

.

While we're at it, the comma between "suffice" and "the" should have been a semi-colon. The reason is that "the separate..." is an independent clause.

 

[deslicher]

(every no is one step closer to that yes)

BINGO, are you sure you're not an author??