selfish bastard

[Ghostwheel1969]

True. I didn't say the guy wasn't being a dink, but I meant that he may not see the difference between getting paid in $$$ and getting paid in service.

Talking more generally, I do think it is in the problem-solving nature of men to try and eliminate steps in a process. Doesn't mean that we get it right...

In this case, that's for sure. Nice point. Respect is paramount.

Ghostwheel

 

[Sit_on_my_face]

There are times when Girls and Guys will bend the rules of life lets say and play tricks ----- in a playful manner-- But then theres the other side. The respectful side. Friends, Lovers etc where as you look at each and treat each other as people and not just sex objects.
In this case VV is right and he is wrong. If someone as me for a helping hand I would offer it without the expectation of something in return. It's happened many times with me. Especially if they are friends. This should mean something.

Respect the PERSON she is ---- beauty, brains, looks, spirit and soul.

 

[perbertt]

The guy is a slimy prick, but let's not forget that sp's sometimes project the image that they can't live without a cock longer than five minutes, and this dumb fuck took it literally...

Anyway, a real friend would never do what this guy did.

 

[mookster]

Friend?

When i help someone out or give a gift it's absolutely altruistic. Has nothing to do with obligation, ego or self interest.

A favour is a favour... the only "payment" to be expected is the gratitude you recieve from the person you did the favour for (and the warm, fuzzy feeling you get when you help somebody.)
Friends help friends with no payment asked or expected.

 

[chilli]

The receiver may view the gift as favor. But the giver should view the gift as an honor to be able to do so otherwise he is putting the receiver on notice "IOU". The giver does not and should not keep score of "favors" done..

Yes taking advantage of someone elses generosity, time and effort is a great sign of friendship.

VV is just playing the helpless female role and using males again.

And you guys are going along with it.

But heh it doesn't surprise me, most of the guys on this board are so pussy whipped it's sickening.

 

[BS Detector]

Well Said Maxx

I am not expecting some sexual favor.. I trust them to do the same for me.. and if their friend ship is genuine they will find some small way to let me know that they are grateful.
. I do the same for anyone i know.

And when she does do something in return, it will also be done with no expectationsif she is a genuine friend.

So far the responses I read are wondering if the "friend" (what ever he did) was in the business of doing that. I think that is irrelevant if your are just helping a friend. If I had an electrical friend and a plumber friend would it not be stupid to ask the plumber to fix my light switch and the electrician to fix my leaky tap? It only becomes a probem if I ask them to do a big job for free, to do it when they should be working for a paying customer or if I am constantly taking advantage of his free help without returning the favour in some equivilently similar manner. If someone demands some sort of payment then and there, they are not a helping friend as I see it, it was just a business transaction (bartering for services rather than cash payment).

Also, HER line of work is not relevant. This guy woulld probably have wanted to get a blowjob regardless of which female friend he did a 'favour' for. If he knew, he just thought it would be easier than if she was a librarian.

 

[Cosmo]

What does the perb gallery think? With V-day fast approaching, will you be gifting from the heart or the heads?

Cosmo gives to bring joy... not to get something in return.

 

[BS Detector]

Here's another question though: are you upset he asked for payment or are you upset he asked for a BJ? If you are upset about the BJ, what if you paid him say, $200, and he turned around, gave it back to you, and said, "ok, how about that BJ?"

If he was expecting payment, it should have been discussed in advance then. It sounded like he offered to do it, especially the extra work.

If it was as a favour, he should have just done it. One day, also with no expectations, VV would have returned the favour and it might even have been a blowjob, unexpected, as a 'friend' would do. I am sure that she wold not have done it and said, "now, I expect you to fix my..." as soon as he got his pants up from around his ankles. She may have made him a nice meal too. The choice would be hers and whatever she felt he might most want/need.

 

[BS Detector]

A girl is her early 20s will not be too careful with her choice of friends; but she will learn fast and she will drop her many bad friends by the time she gets to late 20s or early 30s.

In her 30s a woman will develop her circle of trusted friends; those she knows she can confide in and go to and respect her

I could not agree more except in some cases it is not fast enough and they can be taken for quite the ride before they learn. Almost like being a parent in some ways, you have to let them go thru it and get their lumps and hope when they come out the other end, they are still whole.

 

[BS Detector]

The receiver may view the gift as favor. But the giver should view the gift as an honor to be able to do so otherwise he is putting the receiver on notice "IOU". The giver does not and should not keep score of "favors" done..

Good point buddy. When a friend asks me to do something, especially if it was what I did for work, I felt flattered that they trusted me to do it right and with the same care I'd use if I did it for myself. We all know that some businesses take shortcuts to save time and money in the name of profit. If you did someting at home for yourself, you (or at least I) would not compromise the quality for profit and you trust a friend to do the job the same way.

 

[BS Detector]

Your "friend" asked for you to help him (tit for tat)...and then you blew him off (actually, you didn't) after he helped you out.

But he wanted it right then and to me that is asking for payment. If he did not ask, she may have anyway (or done something else in return). My buddy fixed my car. He did not say, OK...now we go to MY place and you fix my dishwasher." One day I was over and offered to fix it. NOT because I owed him but because he was a friend and I wanted to be one too. He did not fix my car to get something in return.

 

[BS Detector]

Asking a women for a blow might not go off well with most women in this situation...but you do this for a living so its not like the request was obscene. I'm guessing it would have taken you much less time to fulfill his request than the time it took him to do all that work for you. I think I might have been a little miffed by your refusal as well.

Did I miss something? Everyone is assumming he KNEW she is an escort. I don't see that but maybe I missed it

He very well might have been miffed but it was not as a friend, it was because under the guise of friendship, he really had expectations for his "favour" and that made it a transaction and he did not get what he expected. I read a "pussywhipped' comment here. This obviously sound bitter as it has nothing to do with gender. It is simply doing a 'favour' for a 'friend' with or with out expectations. If there are expectations, it is not a favour and that person is not a friend. Again there are exceptions like big jobs etc. If I trusted a buddy rather than a tranny shop for do a big job like that, of course he should expect 'something' in return and I should be expecting to pay him too (to re-imburse for parts is a given n my mind) be it cash or what ever (no blow job lol)

 

[SexyBoy]

I agree with imrokhaard.

In fact when a buddy does something for me I can't wait to return the favor.

Spending time with a buddy is fun.

 

[kalel]

i don't understand the logic in some of this. sp's provide sex for money. if somebody provides a service to them and asks for sex instead of money, and the sp's rate for sex is less than the amount of money that person would have been paid, then isn't the sp financially ahead? i can understand that there is a certain amount of dignity, respect, and choice involved on the sp's part about paying for repairs instead of just giving out sexual favors, but there has been atleast 1 sp on this board who had a task that needed to be done and she offered services instead of money.

some might say it's appauling that the friend would ask, and i'm not disrespecting the sp's here but has there ever been an sp who had a session with a client where she wasn't into it? would it be that different? i suppose the concept of friendship is at stake. and i suppose i'm jaded by my thinking that if i was an sp and a girl that i was friends with wanted my services i'd help her out.

 

[BS Detector]

I agree with imrokhaard.

In fact when a buddy does something for me I can't wait to return the favor.

I always look for opportunities to do a favour as well but my point was that when he does something for me, he does not expect me to immediately 'pay' him back with a favour. By definition, a favour is an act of kindness, not self-seeking. I think some are getting off track by asking why a blowjob is a big deal etc. The point is should he have offered a "favour" and EXPECTED ANYTHING in return. If so, it was NOT a favour. That is my only point.

 

[BS Detector]

If she was a "genuine friend", why would she care if he asked for this favour of her?

Again, I do not disagree with your point except that he is expecting it. Of course she wolld like to return a favour but let her do it. This is not a favour, it is payment. Maybe most disagree but I see a difference here. Also, if she asked can you fix this or that, he too could have said no. Most wold say he was a good guy because he did not. I agree if he had no expectations. He however expected payment and did not sate his asking 'price' until AFTER the "favour" was completed.

If he asked upfront, both would have had the opportunity to proceed or not. I almost feel he is dishonest by doing this work under the guise of favour when he had a price attached to it and then hoped to guilt her into paying. Again, most may disagree as those are only my personal thoughts but he was neither a gentleman nor a friend.

 

[BS Detector]

He didn't ask for payment for his services. She has never seen a bill.

Not all people/businesses give you a written bill but they still expect payment.

He didn't ask for payment for his services.. He asked her for a favour and she turned him down.

Maybe for me, it just comes down to a little of timing and mostly the fact he expected it from the outset. The difference between a favour and a transaction is the expectation (or lack of) something in return.

If your buddy asked you to fix his dishwasher and you turned him down after he fixed your car - he would have been miffed too.

Of course but when he fixed my car, at that time, he did it as a favour with no strings attached. Again, maybe part of my problem is the timing thing.

Friends can also discuss in advance however. "Hey listen, how about I fix your dishwasher and you can fix my car." I don't see a problem with that. Does that make me inconsistent? Not sure lol. I see a difference between that and if mt buddy says, "Can you fix my dishwasher?" and I reply, "If you fix my car." This is getting to complicated lol. Just give him the blow job lol.

 

[sunnysideup]

Very interesting thread

Since there are still many unanswered questions in this thread, I’m going to make a few assumptions in this post. First of all, I agree with BSD. It doesn’t matter if he is a professional or just plain handy. What it important is that he has expertise that VV doesn’t and VV has an expertise that he doesn’t. This, of course, is a very common occurrence between friends.

I’m assuming that VV would come to the assistance of a friend if asked to do so in a conventional sence (i.e.: cut his hair; make a casserole if he had guests coming over and needed to feed them; help with decorating ideas for a new apartment; file his income tax return; or change the oil in his car) if she had the knowledge and ability to do so. If this assumption is wrong (and I don’t think it is) then, of course, one would have to conclude that VV has been manipulative and this thread should go no further.

I’m also assuming that VV and this gentleman have a sufficiently close mutual friendship that they can feel comfortable asking each other for casual favours. It’s not uncommon for friends to ask for favours and to reciprocate without feeling taken advantage of. Again, if this assumption is wrong (and again I don’t think it is) then again one would have to conclude that VV has been manipulative.

So the question that begs to be asked is this: Why is VV upset at the suggestion?

There are two possible reasons that come to my mind:

1. She get upset because, although he had responded to her request for help, he did so only with the undisclosed expectation of a specific favour in return and not because he is a true friend who should respond without expectation of any specific favour; or
2. She get upset because of the nature of the specific favour requested in return.

If VV is miffed because she feels that her friend did not help her as a friend but rather in expectation of the requested favour, then I say that’s fair enough. I know I’d be choked if I asked a friend to help me move and he said “sure”, but only if I change the oil in his car. (I would not be choked, on the other hand, if he said sure, and maybe after the move we can change the oil in his car). I’d also be choked if after the move he announced that since he had help me move, I owed him an oil change that must be delivered next Saturday at 10:00 a.m.

But if that’s not the reason, then maybe the nature of the specific favour is the problem. This issue goes right to the very heart of what I’ve been trying to understand about the escort business for a very, very long time. When we visit an escort, the transaction is pretty simple in our mind. We give her money and she gives us sex. We leave feeling that we’ve taken nothing from her but her time. Is that true from her perspective or does she feel that she’s given us more, perhaps much more, than her time? Or maybe it’s because a client must be anonymous for an SP to provide service and a friend can no longer be anonymous in her eyes. Maybe that's the reason VV is disgruntled. I dunno.

 

[belair]

I've always thought of a favor as something you do gratis. Otherwise it's a business transaction. The man made a mistake.

 

[perbertt]

What most people here don't understand is that the minute you become sexual with a friend the nature of the relationship changes.

Friends, just like relatives, should be taboo as far as sexual advances are concerned.