Sorry everyone

[sadgirl]

Hi Jodie from sadgirl

Hi Sadgirl,
Hi Jodie, it is my gut feeling telling me this, I am at the point it is making me sick and I just want to deal with it. I am at the point where I need to snoop around for my gratification of knowing the unknown. Yes he stated he would never be with anyone else but is always asking me questions about how I would feel if he did, and what the consequences would be to our relationship. When I tell him he laughs and says i could never leave him because I love him to much. This leads me to being insecure.
So yes Jodie any info you can give me will help. I have my life invested with this man, financially also...I have worked to hard to lose it all 2 years from now instead if I find out now, I may be able to come out ok.
Thanks
Christine



It's not a crazy question at all.

If you don't mind sharing, what is it that makes you believe he is addicted to escorts and/or that he might not be loyal to you? Are you trying to find out whether he is seeing escorts now, or are you looking for information because you're worried he might start to see escorts (again?) after you're married?

Have you spoken to him on this issue before? Has he outright stated that he promises to be loyal and monogamous? If so, why do you think you're getting that gut feeling that you shouldn't trust him?

I can certainly tell you what to look for and where to look for it, but realize that in snooping around, you would be violating his trust, and if you were wrong in your assumptions and got caught snooping, the consequences could be devastating.

Hi Jodie, it is my gut feeling telling me this, I am at the point it is making me sick and I just want to deal with it. I am at the point where I need to snoop around for my gratification of knowing the unknown. Yes he stated he would never be with anyone else but is always asking me questions about how I would feel if he did, and what the consequences would be to our relationship. When I tell him he laughs and says i could never leave him because I love him to much. This leads me to being insecure.
So yes Jodie any info you can give me will help. I have my life invested with this man, financially also...I have worked to hard to lose it all 2 years from now instead if I find out now, I may be able to come out ok.
Thanks
Christine

 

[SexyBoy]

Hi Jodie, it is my gut feeling telling me this, I am at the point it is making me sick and I just want to deal with it. I am at the point where I need to snoop around for my gratification of knowing the unknown. Yes he stated he would never be with anyone else but is always asking me questions about how I would feel if he did, and what the consequences would be to our relationship. When I tell him he laughs and says i could never leave him because I love him to much. This leads me to being insecure.
So yes Jodie any info you can give me will help. I have my life invested with this man, financially also...I have worked to hard to lose it all 2 years from now instead if I find out now, I may be able to come out ok.
Thanks
Christine

Did you ever think he might just be faithful and likes to play sex games? I mean role play erotic stories etc.

Stuff like that keeps a high sex drive man faithful.

After the story is played out there might be a need to push it or not.

The large majority of males watch porn. That is what interests them. The porn industry is much larger then the movie industry.

A guy can be physically faithful but his fantasies should run wild.

If you don't play into his fantasies he is going to look else where.

Men are made to procreate.
.

 

[BS Detector]

- he asked me about 8 months ago how I would feel if he just got a blowjob from an escort or at a massage parlor.

- I told him I of course didn't like the idea, he could not understand

- He changed his tune and said it was just a question

- One morning soon after he got up (plumber) and had a shower and completely trimmed himself up (cologne etc) even went as far as trimming those little hairs down below. I asked him what he was doing he replied just want to feel and look good today.

You are right in that it is not hard evidence but ya gotta wonder why a plumber needs to smell nice and have his pubes trimmed one day. If he always did it, one could understand. Some would think it would be a waste but that's fine, it's how he like to start his day. Honestly, if I were you, I think I'd have every right to be nervous. Maybe I should just stay out of it but I really do not have a good feeling about this for your sake.

I really do not understand goodlube's response.
If he reads it here, it just kind of proves your suspicions even more btw.

 

[Tyrone785]

"He now does not have cash flow and I control the banking, so it seems like he is putting alot of $40 out, he is not going high end anymore. Makes me think he is using massage parlors."
"Like one of you said maybe he just likes sex with different women, I know he loves me, he treats me great. "
"I need to catch him so i can move on.
Sounds terrible , I just need to know. "

Ok first of all if you do bust him going to massage parlors let me know which ones Maybe some shady asian micro's might do something for 40$ but it won't be much.

You really should just communicate with him and be honest with him. We've only heard one side of the story also and maybe its not entirely his fault even if he is cheating. A ton of women think they can just lay there like a corpse during sex and thats enough to satisfy someone.

You took his banking control away from him so he definitely loves you(he owns a business for christ sakes he should be able to spend money). I would have sent you packing.

 

[BS Detector]

Maybe some shady asian micro's might do something for 40$ but it won't be much.

Doesn't mean he is only spending 40, just taking 40 at a time to look less suspicious and easier to explain away. When you stash enough away, well you know the rest. I think this lady has every right to be suspicious and she should be showing HIM the door (and not the one to the wedding chapel). But, just my humble opinion.

I agree with communication but I know from experience, when it is not honest, it is useless.

 

[Jodie]

...I use to model and still do some here and there. I get complimented on my body and looks often, so it's not like he has it so bad...

...No jokin , I actually thought about being an escort if this doesn't work between us.

Sounds like you're a total hottie. You would probably do exceedingly well in this business!

 

[cockkhound]

Lots of men cheat

Lots of men end up having a real low sex drive.

Not too many have a high sex drive that do not cheat.

Those three points have really nothing to do with eachother at all.

 

[Cosmo]

Sounds like you're a total hottie. You would probably do exceedingly well in this business!

Hmmm... I can see it now...

Jodie
B.Bj, M.Sog, Fs.D, P.Imp

 

[chilli]

Hi Everyone, your asking me questions and I am going to try and answer.
Why do I think he is using escorts....he asked me about 8 months ago how I would feel if he just got a blowjob from an escort or at a massage parlor. I told him I of course didn't like the idea, he could not understand as he said there would be no emotional bond. I asked him how he would feel if I did it. He said no way.
He changed his tune and said it was just a question and I should not get so upset about it. One morning soon after he got up (plumber) and had a shower and completely trimmed himself up (cologne etc) even went as far as trimming those little hairs down below. I asked him what he was doing he replied just want to feel and look good today. Never done this before. That day for 2hrs he is the owner of the company and needs to be available at all times became unavailable his phone was shut off. I do have his phone records and credit card records as well as banking records as we share our finances. I cannot trace anything for that day, but he also carries alot of cash which i cannot keep track of.
I do know that when he came home that day he was very into me but the day prior I didn't exist .
He now does not have cash flow and I control the banking, so it seems like he is putting alot of $40 out, he is not going high end anymore. Makes me think he is using massage parlors.
I want to be wrong about my thought and I maybe completly of base. I have huge trust issues due to past relationship.
Like one of you said maybe he just likes sex with different women, I know he loves me, he treats me great.
I use to model and still do some here and there. I get complimented on my body and looks often, so it's not like he has it so bad .
I make great money and have been told by others i am a great catch for him. Yes I can drive myself crazy trying to figure out if he is faithful, I am the type of woman that needs evidence , I need to catch him so i can move on.
Sounds terrible , I just need to know.
So what is it I should look for to find if he is going to a massage parlor or escorts.
Once again thankyou.
You are all so understanding , you are giving me more then what I expected.
Your all very supportive, this is a great site.
No jokin , I actually thought about being an escort if this doesn't work between us.

imo your post just screams that you two are in no way ready for a serious relationship.

You are playing the roles, but just barely.

Sorry to be so harsh, but what you are describing is not a healthy relationship.

You need open, honest communication with absolute clarity - and you need trust or else you 2 are doomed.

 

[sadgirl]

Sadgirl Here

Hi guys, just to answer Tyrone, he asked me to take care of the money issues and his business accounts also.
Yes we talk , he brings things up periodically about having sex with others. I am very creative when it comes to sex and have never had a partner who did'nt think it was'nt great....don't believe I have EVER just laid down and expected him to do all the work. Over Christmas we did role playing and of course I was wearing my little santa outfit. We do have a great sex life when we have sex. He says he has a high sex drive but I am lucky if I can get it 2 times a week and then I am asking, he seems quite satisfied with once a week.
He is working on a shutdown tonight , I am meeting him for dinner in Vancouver, his shutdown does not start until9pm, he wants me to meet him for 3:30 because he wants to have a few hrs before the shutdown to get prepared. Said he can only spend 1hr with me. He packed his bag before he left with nailclippers, colonge, and shaving goods. Then he took a blanket and pillow. Yes he has to work all day tomorrow
as well. He just called me to please bring him $150 as his bank card was demagnetized. Oh and by the way he is not a plumber anymore he is a big wig manager (suit and tie) at a new place. So of course I am thinking he is up to something once again. Just one more thing when we were having sex the other day, his mother called instead of ignoring the phone until we finished, he answered and of course I stopped what I was doing , he encouraged me to carry on , it seemed as if it was a thrill to him that he could have a full conversation with his mother while he was getting off with me.
Just seemed strange to me , I have had some weird call from him when I have thought he was with someone, middle of a conversation on the phone and then sudden quiet for a couple secs, seeming to be occupied with a little snicker in there. I just want now to know now, what I should look for, I need sure signs that he is messing around.
Thanks again

 

[d_Duck55]

He packed his bag before he left with nailclippers, colonge, and shaving goods. He just called me to please bring him $150 as his bank card was demagnetized.

One ... two ... three ... SLAP YOURSELF. This is pre-marriage "best behaviour". It all goes downhill from there.

 

[Dulcinea]

there is only one sure fire way to catch him...

and likely won't be very honest if you just ask for the truth.

You say you make good money...then hire a PI. Have him followed on those days when you suspect he is up to no good. It might cost a thousand bucks, maybe more, maybe less, depends on how lucky you are. As far as I'm concerned, a divorce will cost more down the road than hiring a PI now.

make a few calls, you'll find PI's in the yellows pages. They will follow him and videotape his moves.

For me personally, I wouldn't be in a long term relationship with a man I didn't trust. And you say you have issues from past relationships that may be sabotaging this one, perhaps some counselling is in order. Maybe you are reading too far in to things. That is my hope, anyway.

best of luck to you

 

[Wet My Noodle]

All this talk about pre marriage, relationships etc..

I am gettin Horny, Sadgirl when are you startin in the busness???


p.s. Maybe you thought it was his Mom.

Can we chat about SEX???

 

[BS Detector]

I need sure signs that he is messing around.

Looks like you already have them.

At the least, you have trust issues.
Maybe they are trust issues with him, if so, leave the relationship.
Maybe you just have trust issues period, in which case someone already suggested counselling for yourself.

 

[SexyBoy]

Hi guys, just to answer Tyrone, he asked me to take care of the money issues and his business accounts also.
Yes we talk , he brings things up periodically about having sex with others. I am very creative when it comes to sex and have never had a partner who did'nt think it was'nt great....don't believe I have EVER just laid down and expected him to do all the work. Over Christmas we did role playing and of course I was wearing my little santa outfit. We do have a great sex life when we have sex. He says he has a high sex drive but I am lucky if I can get it 2 times a week and then I am asking, he seems quite satisfied with once a week.
He is working on a shutdown tonight , I am meeting him for dinner in Vancouver, his shutdown does not start until9pm, he wants me to meet him for 3:30 because he wants to have a few hrs before the shutdown to get prepared. Said he can only spend 1hr with me. He packed his bag before he left with nailclippers, colonge, and shaving goods. Then he took a blanket and pillow. Yes he has to work all day tomorrow
as well. He just called me to please bring him $150 as his bank card was demagnetized. Oh and by the way he is not a plumber anymore he is a big wig manager (suit and tie) at a new place. So of course I am thinking he is up to something once again. Just one more thing when we were having sex the other day, his mother called instead of ignoring the phone until we finished, he answered and of course I stopped what I was doing , he encouraged me to carry on , it seemed as if it was a thrill to him that he could have a full conversation with his mother while he was getting off with me.
Just seemed strange to me , I have had some weird call from him when I have thought he was with someone, middle of a conversation on the phone and then sudden quiet for a couple secs, seeming to be occupied with a little snicker in there. I just want now to know now, what I should look for, I need sure signs that he is messing around.
Thanks again

Does he exercise? Is he a workaholic?

I think you should get him a libdo increaser found at a health food store. It sounds like he needs to see other women to keep his sex drive high. You can off set that by getting things like horny goat weed etc.

If he is having sex with you three - four times a week it is doubtful he would be cheating. Two times doesn't mean he is cheating but it does mean his interest is getting low.

Santa outfits are ok but too cutsy if you ask me. I would go back and forth between love making and out right nasty porn. You just have to know his mood. No nasty porn when he is really emotional.

Sounds like he wants to be pampered while he is doing other things. This is where you get nothing in return and he just takes. Sort of like a sex slave.

When a girl is like a sex slave for me I start to think about doing things for her. I would let him be totally greedy and get everything he wants and expect nothing in return. You might find him becoming more romantic outside of the bed room.

It sounds like his work is stressful. He needs a way to vent. This is where porn sex is really good.

I really don't think he has opened right up to you at all. There is another guy in there that is hiding. This is why he might want to be with an escort. A lot of men are more comfortable with an escort.

I know you say you do everything but I doubt it. I don't think you get it.

If you are beautiful that helps him from losing interest in you. It is the mind that increases his interest.

A guys interest is always going to go down. That is why you need to think outside the box. Having other people in the relationship would really spice things up. You are too set in his body is just for me. So you really need to work for that.

I don't think it is fair but some men are just built that way. They want one person for their emotional needs and several women for their physical needs.

Some women are ok with this. However this really narrows a guy’s selection of finding someone he connects with on other levels mentally, and emotionally.

Escorts seem like the solution until you find the right woman.

or he gets older... I personally feel a lot younger when I am highly sexual.

I know I am awful. I feel bad for being this way.

There was one woman recently that kept my interest in only her. She had everything. However she also would change her apperance on a biweekly basis. I don't think I would ever cheat on her. She did leave me extremely content and I didn't crave sex so much but only because our sex sessions were so long that I was totally satisfied.

Then she wanted to travel the world!

 

[arianna_royale]

i didnt know perb was pyschology 101..

sadgirl this is a review board for hobbyists to review the escorts they see..

its been said before, and ill say it again..if you believe your man is cheating..if you honestly have that gut instinct on top of admissable evidence, then leave him.

there are millions of men in the world..hundreds of thousands in vancouver if that is where you reside..its inevitiable that you can find one who has earned your trust. being snoopy and going as far as complaining about it on perb is weak..and rediculous.

im sorry if i dont come across as sympathetic..but come on!

.2

arianna

 

[Commando]

no love and sympathy from arianna. what has this world come to?

 

[Miss*Bijou]

there are millions of men in the world..hundreds of thousands in vancouver if that is where you reside..its inevitiable that you can find one who has earned your trust.

Ladies, I believe we have ourselves an optimist here. Refreshing.. hehe

being snoopy and going as far as complaining about it on perb is weak..and rediculous.

Actually I quite disagree. Talking about it with others not involved or knowledgeable would probably get her some pretty exaggerated comments and advice IMHO. At least, she can get some more objective comments and advice here.. which I think the answers so far have been.



I think that the P.I is a good idea. There are two options:

1- Either you find out he's cheating/lying and get the proof you need for yourself.
2- Or you find out you are reading too much into it and you are in fact the one with trust issues you might want to deal with.

Both of these suggest marriage may not be a good solution, not for the time being anyway, and some work on your relationship might be in order before making that huge commitment.


I'm sorry guys, but packing cologne and grooming before work when he's never done that before...? Doesn't sound too good to me. And definitely does not make him sound too smart either. Just sayin'.

 

[arianna_royale]

LOL..thanx fror the love guys

and i am quite the optimist...and have every reason to be

 

[Tyrone785]

Just seemed strange to me , I have had some weird call from him when I have thought he was with someone, middle of a conversation on the phone and then sudden quiet for a couple secs, seeming to be occupied with a little snicker in there. I just want now to know now, what I should look for, I need sure signs that he is messing around.
Thanks again

I don't want to be mean but... Thinking your hearing a "snicker" while talking with him is a pretty clear sign your insecure.

Talking with his mom during intercourse is pretty creepy though so if your looking to get rid of him those are pretty solid grounds.