Question regarding tipping a companion

[Lady Companion]

A posting on another board got me thinking about the psyche of tipping a companion - and I wanted to relate an experience I have with one of my gentlemen friends (who does not read this board) to garner a better understanding of a gentleman's thought process. It seems peculiar to me...but I would love to hear any thoughts or opinions on the matter.

I have a somewhat regular gentleman friend (we see one another about once a month) who always brings me a gift AND leaves a tip. Here is where the story gets a little peculiar in my mind.

The gifts he brings me are always rather pricey (worth many times my actual donation). While they are wonderfully packaged, he never makes a big deal about giving them. He usually just hands it to me in the beginning and says I can open it later. The donation is usually placed inside a card along with the gift.

We always have a wonderful time...and he continues to repeat..so obviously he does enjoy my company. However - after each rendezvous, he gushes about what a wonderful time he had - and how he really wants to express his appreciation by leaving me an extra something. THIS IS THE PECULIAR PART.....He makes a really big deal about handing me an extra $5 in the end. Custom made Rolex's encrusted with diamonds get left in a box....but the $5 is a big deal.

Don't get me wrong - any thought or gesture is greatly appreciated. It's just the dichotomy of the situation which has me puzzled. He is from an ethnic background which is known for not tipping...and perhaps that is where the production of leaving $5 comes from. I would be interested in hearing if any other gentlemen here have thoughts as to the motivation behind this behavior. The first time it happened, I thought perhaps the $5 was a passive aggressive way of telling me he wasn't happy (I only thought that because in relation to a gift worth thousands of dollars, $5 seems to be an attempt to leave a message)....but since he continues to repeat (and bring pricey gifts plus leave a $5 tip each time) I assume that isn't the case.

Any thoughts on the matter would be happily heard.

 

[TheRater]

Custom made Rolex's encrusted with diamonds get left in a box....but the $5 is a big deal.

This is of course going to be a personal response, but I (me, personally) have only seen this in two places/cultures. I won't say which ones, just describe the behaviour. I have no idea if this fits with your observations or not, and of course personal behaviour, as opposed to cultural or group can skew this.

The first person I knew like this was heavily involved in activity which resulted in the gain of expensive items at almost no cost to themselves. This person had no problem giving expensive presents for birthdays and special occasions, but would make sure everyone knew how generous they had been if we went out to the bar and left a tip for a very good bartender or waitress. They were in no way obnoxious about it, just that they seemed to want people to know that leaving extra money (a tip) was not something that they had a great deal of free cash to do.

The second person was from a culture that, from birth, never had to worry about where his next material possession was going to come from or what it would cost. He never saw the money and never cared. Often after a very short time, or even a slight expression of interest from a friend ("that is a nice (insert watch name here) that you bought this time") would immediately give (gift) it to the person. However, again when out at dinner or a show, where actually spending cash, as opposed to signing a bill or tab, would be very careful about counting the money out. Again, not offensive in anyway, but anyone watching would assume this person did not have a lot of money (cash) to thier name.

I am not sure if either of these answered your question, but in the absence of any feelings of attempted 'ownership' or anything, maybe just suggest that leaving a tip AND a gift, while appreciated, is not not required and maybe he could choose just one of the two?

- TR

 

[S.G. Gibson]

Either the extravagant gifts are stolen, or the $5 is the last $5 he has before next pay day.

 

[d_Duck55]

$5 cash tip? That's a tazing! Unless you opened the Rolex first.

Actually, it might be a Lolex ... you better get it checked by a jeweler!

 

[Lady Companion]

I'm inclined to think it is either cultural or a personal quirk about cash tips

Yes, the gifts are all authentic, new and purchased by him. Serial numbers have been registered for insurance purposes, and everything always comes with a dated and signed warrenty from him and the dealer. There is nothing dodgy about the gifts.....certainly extravogant, but not ill gotten.

I should again stress that neither tips nor gifts are expected (though any thought, regardless of how big or small, is very much appreciated). It was the the vast difference between the two in both attitude and value which spawned my curiosity.

 

[threepeat]

I was curious enough about this subject to spend about 10 minutes searching on the Internet, but came up with nothing significant under either "$5 tip" or "tipping culture." The closest I got was, of course, wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tip

If he gives you $5 and only $5 each time (never more, never less) than maybe whatever culture he is from places a special significance to the number 5. Or they revere the five-dollar bill for some reason.

 

[kodiak_bear3]

cash vs. credit card

There is a huge psychological difference between paying in cash and signing a credit card slip.
Everything paid cash looks expensive, while when we sign a credit card slip we don't feel the same "pain".

You girls will see the difference the day that you will start accepting credit cards... but please, make sure that the statement shows something like "sachs, stanley, barnes and associates"

 

[TheRater]

Or Barnes, Booker, Brown and Jones, LLC ?

- TR

 

[Twizzler]

i've been away for some time, but my experience with business/travel and differenet cultures resonate a constant denominator....some people don't comprehend the true value of a "tip" regardless of the amount. These same people often think that the "obigatory" portion of tipping is required, but have don't have a clear idea of what kind/amount of "tip" is appropriate for the services rendered.

That being said, I would speculate that the gentleman would rather give you a gift valued at $5K as a relationship building/loving "gift" as he values the time spent with YOU regardless of the "donation" aspect.

But, what the hell do I know.

 

[kodiak_bear3]

Never underestimate the power of local knowledge

i've been away for some time, but my experience with business/travel and differenet cultures resonate a constant denominator....some people don't comprehend the true value of a "tip" regardless of the amount. These same people often think that the "obigatory" portion of tipping is required, but have don't have a clear idea of what kind/amount of "tip" is appropriate for the services rendered...

 

[Creole Lady Marmalade]

After describing the watch I would now be more inclined to think that the sheer extravagance of the gift could be more of a piece to commemorate an anniversary.

A gift is from the heart and a lot of thought has been put into finding an item and finally choosing it, whereas dropping cash can simply be tought of as optional and brainless to do. Anyone can do it.

 

[Pantherdash]

I had a friend who worked in the service industry in the early 90s. This place would literally have busloads of Japanese tourists coming in for lunch or dinner. The 15% tip was always included but there would always be one elderly person coming up to him and inserting into his hand a loonie followed by a bow...it was a sign of respect and appreciation for a job well done.

Panther

 

[ma1234]

A posting on another board got me thinking about the psyche of tipping a companion - and I wanted to relate an experience I have with one of my gentlemen friends (who does not read this board) to garner a better understanding of a gentleman's thought process. It seems peculiar to me...but I would love to hear any thoughts or opinions on the matter.

I have a somewhat regular gentleman friend (we see one another about once a month) who always brings me a gift AND leaves a tip. Here is where the story gets a little peculiar in my mind.

The gifts he brings me are always rather pricey (worth many times my actual donation). While they are wonderfully packaged, he never makes a big deal about giving them. He usually just hands it to me in the beginning and says I can open it later. The donation is usually placed inside a card along with the gift.

We always have a wonderful time...and he continues to repeat..so obviously he does enjoy my company. However - after each rendezvous, he gushes about what a wonderful time he had - and how he really wants to express his appreciation by leaving me an extra something. THIS IS THE PECULIAR PART.....He makes a really big deal about handing me an extra $5 in the end. Custom made Rolex's encrusted with diamonds get left in a box....but the $5 is a big deal.

Don't get me wrong - any thought or gesture is greatly appreciated. It's just the dichotomy of the situation which has me puzzled. He is from an ethnic background which is known for not tipping...and perhaps that is where the production of leaving $5 comes from. I would be interested in hearing if any other gentlemen here have thoughts as to the motivation behind this behavior. The first time it happened, I thought perhaps the $5 was a passive aggressive way of telling me he wasn't happy (I only thought that because in relation to a gift worth thousands of dollars, $5 seems to be an attempt to leave a message)....but since he continues to repeat (and bring pricey gifts plus leave a $5 tip each time) I assume that isn't the case.

Any thoughts on the matter would be happily heard.

thanks Lady Companion for the self-advertising. We have made notes to bring expensive gifts when visiting you

 

[Pantherdash]

That about describes it, its advertising and also probably not true, but then we will never really know. Lots of the women in here are now starting nonsense threads just to keep their name out there, hell its a very competitive business. This forum certainly has changed over the last few years and the last year in particular.

Ya, in some ways good! Like...no more Georgebushmoron...

Ferris, good to hear from you again, bro!

Panther

 

[Thais]

That about describes it, its advertising and also probably not true, but then we will never really know.

Some would know. And those who do realize that she is the last person ever to use a tactic like this.

 

[chillencjo]

Your Full of S**it

You live in an imaginagery land, all you are doing is posting to promote yourself, I feel sorry for any sucker who wastes his time seeing you

 

[Thais]

The post that started this thread is all about projecting an image as a highclass globetrotting courtesan, something shes been working on for quite a while now which can justify her charging higher rates and actually making more money for far less work (read into that expensive dinner dates and international travel). Its your basic marketing ploy. Its a smart one though, no denying that, and far more profitable Im sure than being known as your basic Surrey girl..

What if your life has aspects that indeed involve the "high class courtesan lifestyle"? Aspects, because most women who position themselves as such (and I know quite a few) have fairly varied and complex lives, and tend to have both mundane and luxurious. And what if you have a question about those specific aspects that has been itching for quite some time?

There aren't really places that are specifically designated for such discussion, or at least, I don't know them. The only place I know that somewhat qualifies tends towards more philosophical or general discussion.

So basically, you should never ask that question on a general forum like this for the fear of it looking like self-promotion? I know if I were in similar situation I too would be very curious as to possible explanations.

 

[ma1234]

Because you can't afford /don't want to, buy expensive gifts or pay expensive rates there are many who can and will.

And many more who stole a shitload of fake Cartiers

 

[ma1234]

Well OK. I do know people who know her intimately, probably much better than you do.

The post that started this thread is all about projecting an image as a highclass globetrotting courtesan, something shes been working on for quite a while now which can justify her charging higher rates and actually making more money for far less work (read into that expensive dinner dates and international travel). Its your basic marketing ploy. Its a smart one though, no denying that, and far more profitable Im sure than being known as your basic Surrey girl.

Right. This is one way to avoid writing "need to pay the rent" specials on Craigslist

 

[Creole Lady Marmalade]

That about describes it, its advertising and also probably not true, but then we will never really know. Lots of the women in here are now starting nonsense threads just to keep their name out there, hell its a very competitive business. This forum certainly has changed over the last few years and the last year in particular.

thanks Lady Companion for the self-advertising. We have made notes to bring expensive gifts when visiting you

Your Full of S**it

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You live in an imaginagery land, all you are doing is posting to promote yourself, I feel sorry for any sucker who wastes his time seeing you

It's true. The lady gets expensive gifts sometimes sure but I highly doubt that this the forum for people who can afford to give such extravagant gifts.

Besides her handle is highlighted red meaning she has paid for the privilege to include whatever plugs that would run along the lines of advertising.