DO NOT call unless I ask you to....
- Thread starter Redrider2
- Start date
Now this is just being stupid. Many guys will only indulge in this hobby once or twice a month so having a separate phone for pooning is ridiculous. I know several SP's who have a separate phone for business and I'm surprised that all of them don't do that. Sure it may be inconvenient but I don't see how you ladies can be comfortable giving out your personal number to clients.
I really don't understand what is the big deal here.
If the SP calls back and you are in a situation where you can't talk discreetly just tell her you are busy and will call back later. It's not like anyone will know who is calling you unless you are calling from a public/work phone which is just stupid. Use your personal phone which only you answer then nobody will know who is calling you. I have had a few SP's call or text msg me while I am at work or out with family/friends and it has never bothered me. Personally I rarely leave messages for SP's if they don't answer and I don't expect them to call back but I DO appreciate it. I can't believe anyone would complain about an SP returning their call. I mean you DID call her first so obviously you wanted to talk to her. Consider the alternative, those SP's who never return messages even if you leave dozens of messages over several weeks. Which would you prefer?
B-I-N-G-O
It's like I said before. It's a catch 22. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
As for the term "cold call". I hardly would consider calling somebody back who just called you 5 - 10 minutes prior a cold call. I'd say the call was pretty hot still. In fact, unless a pooner called you while his S/O was in the bathroom, and thought he could get all he had to say in before he heard the flush, he obviousely had time. If he had the time to call you to discuss matters in 5 minutes, he should have time to answer his phone in that 5 minutes. Or at least leave a quick message. Discretion is #1. It seems to be the general agreement. I'm guessing courtesy fits somewhere atound #100 and isn't much of a priority? I mean, after all, you are calling an SP, somebody who can get numerous calls in a short time. Make her job a little easier by leaving a message so she can go through them and know which numbers she was supposed to call back, and which she wasn't. Everybody in this industry, from either side of it, wants discretion and respect, but some don't want to give it. It's easier to jump on somebody, be it an SP or a pooner, than it is to take responsability and offer respect and discretion. Pass the buck, pass the buck, pass the buck. If your calling an SP to have your dick sucked or to get fucked, have a game plan. Some form of strategy. I mean if you don't want to get caught, cover your bases. You wouldn't rob a bank without a plan not to get caught. You wouldn't go pick up a piece of ass at the local pub without trying to think of a plan to tell your wife where you were should she question it, would you? No, you would have to have a game plan. if not, you risk getting caught.
Maybe part of your game plan when calling an SP could be leaving a message saying you will call later as it isn't a good time. There, you just covered one of your bases and your ass. Some people want to put 100% of the responsability on the SP for common sense and discretion. Let the pooner be careless and carefree. Sorry, but like I said, it works both ways.
Calling a pooner out of the blue is wrong. Calling a pooner after an extended period of time is wrong.
The unfortunate part of being an adult is you have to make decisions and plan. You have to watch out for you. We aren't 5 years old where we can blame little Tommy for something we did. Instead of passing the buck and blaming others and pointing fingers, plan. Some pooners want the call back. Some don't... It's obvious. Ask yourself, are you too scared to leave a 5 second message with your intent and request? Or is it just easier to call, hang up, and then blame somebody else if it goes wrong?
I have agreed on both sides of this discussion. I agree with some points made, and disagree with others. But this thread is turning into a whole lot of finger pointing back and fourth. Nobody wants to be wrong. Hell, thats human nature. But to sit and lay blame on others it dumb. Everybody plays a part in the hobby and has a role. is your role to call and hang up, without a plan? Or do you have the courtesty to leave a brief message? After all, odds are you wanted the SP to offer you the courtesy to answer the phone OR call you back. If not, you might have complained she didn't answer or call back. Yup, it's a 2 way street. Respect and discretion have to be given to both the pooner and the SP.
I don't have a cell phone and probably never will
I always give a number by voice to call back on.
Otherwise I do not want to be called back by the displayed number.
Says you. What would be an ideal solution for this then where the SP isn't the one left holding the responsibility bag?Valium said:
Just so I'm clear about this. A one time fee of the purchase of a mobile and then the maintenance fee of whatever the phone card denomination is used, is completely unreasonable in your eyes for the pooner to shy away from possible life destruction; but paying a SP whatever $ for amusement for a specified amount of time is any better? The point I'm trying to make is that if you value your life and your privacy then you would do whatever was necessary to protect it, even if it means dishing out additional funds. Your life and privacy are YOUR responsibilites and no one elses.
It's their choice to and they made their bed they should lie in it if the grand plan falls to pieces. They've got no one else to blame but themselves.Valium said:
Hypothetically?? hmmmIwannarocu said:
I assume you would already be lying to your wife so then you just answer the phone and continue with another lie.
Personally I have no problem with SP's calling me at any time and I actually encourage it with my regulars. For someone who is ultimately concerned with privacy this may be an option but it still does not solve the problem completely. For those like me who are not concerned or who see SP's infrequently a second phone is certainly not necessary.
CalgaryJenn said:
YES, ultimately it is your own responsibilty to unsure your own privacy. If you don't want the SP to return your call then don't call in the first place or if you do call then at least leave a message with further instructions.Creole Lady Marmalade said:
Bottom line is this: Do you call numbers back that you see on your call display? No one else calls me back ever. And luckily I havent had a hooker with so little discretion that she called me back. (I wanted to use the adjective STUPID but that would have been rude.)
I use a different phone for my troublesome activities but that doesnt mean that the ladies shouldnt use discretion. I really dont know what other business other than pussy that anyone calls back random numbers that appear on their call display.
I use a different phone for my troublesome activities but that doesnt mean that the ladies shouldnt use discretion. I really dont know what other business other than pussy that anyone calls back random numbers that appear on their call display.
Now this is just being stupid. Many guys will only indulge in this hobby once or twice a month so having a separate phone for pooning is ridiculous. I know several SP's who have a separate phone for business and I'm surprised that all of them don't do that. Sure it may be inconvenient but I don't see how you ladies can be comfortable giving out your personal number to clients.
I really don't understand what is the big deal here.
I have had a few SP's call or text msg me while I am at work or out with family/friends and it has never bothered me. Personally I rarely leave messages for SP's if they don't answer and I don't expect them to call back but I DO appreciate it. I can't believe anyone would complain about an SP returning their call. I mean you DID call her first so obviously you wanted to talk to her. Consider the alternative, those SP's who never return messages even if you leave dozens of messages over several weeks. Which would you prefer?
Too risky
I've seen a couple of ladies argue that it is okay to call a number back as long as it is within a short timeframe of the missed call. I disagree; there are still too many unknowns, too many "what ifs," and too many risks.
What if he was calling from his office but all his incoming calls get routed through a receptionist? Do you just play the "Sorry, wrong number" card, or do you say, "Someone called me from this number?"
What if his wife comes home unexpectedly shortly after he calls you from his cell? He's in the can and his wife takes the liberty of answering his phone for him. Sure you can pretend it's a wrong number, but come on, women are smarter and more intuitive than to fall for that. What happens when the suspicious wife sees your number on caller ID and decides to Google it later?
What if you've missed the call simply because he hung up after three rings because something came up and he couldn't talk anymore? You call him back assuming that you missed the call whilst rummaging through your purse, but he is in fact unable to talk to you.
Don't assume that a guy is freely available to talk just because he called recently. This hobby demands the highest level of discretion and it is an SP's job to ensure she affords that to her clients.
Besides, I still think it incredibly rude and presumptuous to call someone back just because their number appeared on your caller ID. If they wanted a return call, they'd have left a message to that effect.
This really comes down the most basic rules of etiquette, professionalism and discretion. Guys, if you want a lady to call you back, leave her a message. Instruct her as to when she can or cannot call you. Ladies, pretend like it's the old days and you don't have a list of the phone numbers of all your missed calls. If there's a voicemail message, be professional and call him back within the parameters he outlines. If he doesn't leave a voicemail message, or if you get his message too late to return the call, let it go. He will find another way to reach you if he really wants to see you.
I've seen a couple of ladies argue that it is okay to call a number back as long as it is within a short timeframe of the missed call. I disagree; there are still too many unknowns, too many "what ifs," and too many risks.
What if he was calling from his office but all his incoming calls get routed through a receptionist? Do you just play the "Sorry, wrong number" card, or do you say, "Someone called me from this number?"
What if his wife comes home unexpectedly shortly after he calls you from his cell? He's in the can and his wife takes the liberty of answering his phone for him. Sure you can pretend it's a wrong number, but come on, women are smarter and more intuitive than to fall for that. What happens when the suspicious wife sees your number on caller ID and decides to Google it later?
What if you've missed the call simply because he hung up after three rings because something came up and he couldn't talk anymore? You call him back assuming that you missed the call whilst rummaging through your purse, but he is in fact unable to talk to you.
Don't assume that a guy is freely available to talk just because he called recently. This hobby demands the highest level of discretion and it is an SP's job to ensure she affords that to her clients.
Besides, I still think it incredibly rude and presumptuous to call someone back just because their number appeared on your caller ID. If they wanted a return call, they'd have left a message to that effect.
This really comes down the most basic rules of etiquette, professionalism and discretion. Guys, if you want a lady to call you back, leave her a message. Instruct her as to when she can or cannot call you. Ladies, pretend like it's the old days and you don't have a list of the phone numbers of all your missed calls. If there's a voicemail message, be professional and call him back within the parameters he outlines. If he doesn't leave a voicemail message, or if you get his message too late to return the call, let it go. He will find another way to reach you if he really wants to see you.
I agree... I will never call back unless given specific instructions to do so. Period.
OMG! It only took like 6 or 7 pages of bickering to get the perfect answer !
Well said, these Ladies should take a lesson from you.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
EDIT:
Like to add this point, any of you SP's ever think you might put your self in danger for calling a man back.
Example, wife picks up the phone and a hooker is on the other line, she does some google and bam ! breaks up with this man. Man is in a heat of passion now, calls you up, and kills you !
Maybe, you should think about that before you call some guy out of the blue.
Just thought I would draw a logical comparison and see if the "pro returning phonecalls" camp still feels the same way in the following case:
Suppose I go for testing at one of the local anonymous STD clinics. In using their services, I believe I have a perfectly reasonable assumption that my privacy and identity will be protected. They have even gone so far as to promise this on their website. A few weeks goes by and I haven't heard anything from them, so I decide to call and find out if they have my results. Nobody answers the phone; I get their voicemail instead. I don't leave a message because I'm just about to meet my SO for dinner and I won't be able to talk if they call.
What if the receptionist just missed my call as she returned to her desk, but has my number on caller ID. Should she call me back under the premise that I *just* called and must therefore be available to talk?
Although SP's and escort services are not governed by any professional-client confidentiality laws, we should treat our business like any other business requiring a high level of discretion, and this means erring on the side of caution at all times.
Suppose I go for testing at one of the local anonymous STD clinics. In using their services, I believe I have a perfectly reasonable assumption that my privacy and identity will be protected. They have even gone so far as to promise this on their website. A few weeks goes by and I haven't heard anything from them, so I decide to call and find out if they have my results. Nobody answers the phone; I get their voicemail instead. I don't leave a message because I'm just about to meet my SO for dinner and I won't be able to talk if they call.
What if the receptionist just missed my call as she returned to her desk, but has my number on caller ID. Should she call me back under the premise that I *just* called and must therefore be available to talk?
Although SP's and escort services are not governed by any professional-client confidentiality laws, we should treat our business like any other business requiring a high level of discretion, and this means erring on the side of caution at all times.
LOL! Solving the world's problems one PERB thread at a time...OMG! It only took like 6 or 7 pages of bickering to get the perfect answer !
Well said, these Ladies should take a lesson from you.
The most thought prevoking and intellegent post in this whole thread!!!
Nice job Jodie!!
(WTF,,perb can't even get a thumbs up smiley??)
I think Hobbiest and SPs should have dedicated phone for this hobby if privacy is an issue.
I do agree with most posters here. Do not call back unless instructed to. I almost assume that was a unwritten rule in this hobby due to the nature of the business.
I noticed most asian SPs(micros) always call back when they missed a call or if you are 2 mins late.
I do agree with most posters here. Do not call back unless instructed to. I almost assume that was a unwritten rule in this hobby due to the nature of the business.
I noticed most asian SPs(micros) always call back when they missed a call or if you are 2 mins late.
Or.... what has happened to me: I got calls months upon months later, not just the mamasan/papasan, but the SPs themselves. One SP called me, it took me a few minutes to figure out it was an SP! She started the conversation like she was an old friend or something, I was momentarily tricked by her. I have to say, as there may be some SPs who conduct themselves in a courteous manner, there are hundreds more who don't.
Just so everyone is clear, I don't observe what I've expressed in this thread, in that I will not return phone calls without being granted permission.
HubbaHubba, before you confuse anymore people, as it appears you took my quote to serve as an example for some people that do call when not explicity requested, be sure you post the quote I responded to. What you have there is dangerously close to putting me in that group. I am not of that disposition.
Along a similar vein...EMAIL
Work or Shared Emails
It sounds like everyone has a system that works for them and that's great it sounds like the vast majority keep discretion as a top priority.
Personally I loath cold calls, either receiving or sending, so I do everything via email, with a confirmation call 15 min before the appointment to give the address etc etc. My phone rules are that they have to let me know what cell number they will be calling from so that I can confirm this for safety reasons. If the number doesn't match, I don't pick up.
Email has in my experience been great as the vast VAST VAST majority of people have a private email address. However, there are always those who don't use a little logic (or don't read: "ALL communication is done via email, NEVER by phone. And I'm never available on short notice.")
One gentleman (and I use the term loosely) used to email me every 2 weeks or so with a message along the lines of of....
"Hi Sexy,
I'd like to see you at 12 today. I want to do do x, y, z. Do you do greek? [Blah blah blah]. This is my office email. DO NOT EMAIL ME BACK! Call me at XXX-XXX-XXXX."
So I never called back... obviously. He should have gotten the point, but alas, he did not. And shortly after I hired an assistant to manage my emails and schedule, he sent another explicit and crude message, wanting to see me but angry that I never called him back. BUT he forgot to say "DON'T EMAIL ME BACK!"
So my assistant, not having read any of his previous emails, emailed him back (including his message) and told him he was rude, that I didn't want to see him and that even if I did he clearly wasn't bothering to read all of the easily accessible contact details.
Low and behold, 30 seconds later an auto-reply came back saying. "So&So is out of the office for a week and all emails will be forwarded to his co-worked So&So."
We never heard from him again.
A similar instance happened when I was away for a few weeks and had an auto-reply set up. Someone had emailed from their shared home account and said "Call me, don't email me back." I felt terrible, but I had been very explicit about how to contact me on my site.
What's my point: Discretion AND Thinking with the big head.
If you have a wife and kids, don't use your shared home email or phone... EVER!
If you are calling or emailing from work.... Don't. Unless you can safely talk or receive an email reply. If not leave very clear instructions on how to get in touch. If you are emailing and your account is shared.... don't, please don't. Just set up and anonymous hotmail/yahoo/gmail.
I'm sure the vast majority of SPs do everything they can to assure discretion on our ends.... but you have to meet us 1/2 and use a little common sense.
Work or Shared Emails
It sounds like everyone has a system that works for them and that's great it sounds like the vast majority keep discretion as a top priority.
Personally I loath cold calls, either receiving or sending, so I do everything via email, with a confirmation call 15 min before the appointment to give the address etc etc. My phone rules are that they have to let me know what cell number they will be calling from so that I can confirm this for safety reasons. If the number doesn't match, I don't pick up.
Email has in my experience been great as the vast VAST VAST majority of people have a private email address. However, there are always those who don't use a little logic (or don't read: "ALL communication is done via email, NEVER by phone. And I'm never available on short notice.")
One gentleman (and I use the term loosely) used to email me every 2 weeks or so with a message along the lines of of....
"Hi Sexy,
I'd like to see you at 12 today. I want to do do x, y, z. Do you do greek? [Blah blah blah]. This is my office email. DO NOT EMAIL ME BACK! Call me at XXX-XXX-XXXX."
So I never called back... obviously. He should have gotten the point, but alas, he did not. And shortly after I hired an assistant to manage my emails and schedule, he sent another explicit and crude message, wanting to see me but angry that I never called him back. BUT he forgot to say "DON'T EMAIL ME BACK!"
So my assistant, not having read any of his previous emails, emailed him back (including his message) and told him he was rude, that I didn't want to see him and that even if I did he clearly wasn't bothering to read all of the easily accessible contact details.
Low and behold, 30 seconds later an auto-reply came back saying. "So&So is out of the office for a week and all emails will be forwarded to his co-worked So&So."
We never heard from him again.
A similar instance happened when I was away for a few weeks and had an auto-reply set up. Someone had emailed from their shared home account and said "Call me, don't email me back." I felt terrible, but I had been very explicit about how to contact me on my site.
What's my point: Discretion AND Thinking with the big head.
If you have a wife and kids, don't use your shared home email or phone... EVER!
If you are calling or emailing from work.... Don't. Unless you can safely talk or receive an email reply. If not leave very clear instructions on how to get in touch. If you are emailing and your account is shared.... don't, please don't. Just set up and anonymous hotmail/yahoo/gmail.
I'm sure the vast majority of SPs do everything they can to assure discretion on our ends.... but you have to meet us 1/2 and use a little common sense.
Ladies, Ladies, Ladies....Please.
Never, ever, ever, never call a perspective client back if he can't be bothered to leave a message. If he's dork enough to get mad that you don't return his calls. Let him be mad because he didn't specify. It's better than the alternative of being mad because you called back at a bad time and now his SO is leaving him. That's mad on a-whole-nother level.
I on the other hand will heed your advice and if an SP is unavailable to answer will leave a message stating that I will call her back.
Wishing you all a dork-free pooning experience.
Never, ever, ever, never call a perspective client back if he can't be bothered to leave a message. If he's dork enough to get mad that you don't return his calls. Let him be mad because he didn't specify. It's better than the alternative of being mad because you called back at a bad time and now his SO is leaving him. That's mad on a-whole-nother level.
I on the other hand will heed your advice and if an SP is unavailable to answer will leave a message stating that I will call her back.
Wishing you all a dork-free pooning experience.
I always use a phone only I have access to and email that is password protected.........will people never learn?
