The Porn Dude

Tess - didn't go all that well

CalgaryPooner

Banned
Jan 16, 2007
145
0
0
Hedonist7 said:
A couple of weeks ago I wandered South to Calgary and had booked a session with Tess. (I had tried in the past, but our schedules didn't work-out - this time it did happen)

Now this lady has received a substantial amount of positive reviews here, so I thought I'd give her a try.

I had tried to book for a 5:30 PM session, but in the end she only showed up at about 7 PM (there was a bit of back and forth by e-mail, all in all I was okay with it)

Tess appears quite a bit different from her website pics - to the point that I wonder if either she used someone else's shots or if the person who showed up at my door wasn't her.

Funny thing is, I really enjoyed meeting her and chatting about all sorts of things - she is a very attentive and smart lady.

Bottom line though is I am either too old for Tess for this to be a "Graduate" kind of thing or too young to enjoy her more "mature" looks and service.

The weight thing also got me a bit "off" - not that I do not enjoy voluptuous divas, but in this case, this Tess could easily shed a few Lbs. and be all that much better for it (although her breasts were very nice, I must say)

Service was a bit strange too - where at one point, she was so comfortable when I massaged her, that she almost felt asleep (again, I didn't mind and felt we were totally at ease - maybe just a bit too much).

Repeat - likely not. I think we did connect mentally, but there was no physical attraction there.

L - 4.5 Again there, the age and proportions threw me off - she may rate higher with others
A - 9 Very smart and educated
S - No rating as I really wasn't into it - and it wouldn't be a fair review

2 hours for $$$60 - weekend special advertised on her web site
This mirrors my experience and I am curious why a bunch of posters with no reviews keep slamming me for my review. Glad to see someone else with some other reviews and stuff has same basic view I had.
 

Eric99

New member
Feb 13, 2007
1
0
0
Tessa's Touch is not so good. aka Celeste

I really hate to say anything bad about anyone, but I felt quite misled about this whole encounter.

Tess looks older than I'd expected. The photos on her website are not at all accurate.

I warned her that I would likely be a few minutes late. I wanted to shower and shave beforehand. She was very friendly when she greeted me at the door, and she offered me a drink. I had some water as it was the middle of the day. As soon as I came in, I subtly placed an unsealed white envelope with the donation on her kitchen counter along with a small gift. I had tried to be quite subtle about it. The subtleness was somehow lost when she took the gift, then proceeded to count the money in front of me. I can understand being concerned that someone might stiff you, but she could have certainly been more classy by opening it in another room. In fact, the other times I've been with someone, they didn't even take the envelope until they were leaving or after I had left.

We spent a while talking. She seems very nice... She has other goals, and this seems to be her means of making enough money to achieve those goals --fair enough.

The details: mediocre back massage. poor CBJ, CG. Breasts are ok for her age. I usually love DATY, but I just couldn't. After round 1, she lay there talking and asking all sorts of personal questions -- no massage, no skin to skin contact , nothing -- pure business. Round 2 was over quickly. We spoke for a few minutes and I was just about to ask her if I could clean up. Then, before the hour was up, her doorbell rings. What does she say? "Give me five minutes".

I was disgusted. Five minutes. Five minutes to get rid of me and clean herself up. Five minutes to clean the bed. Degeulasse!

I quickly came home and had a shower. This experience makes me want to get out of the hobby. Why didn't I just turn around at the door?
 

long dick

New member
Mar 10, 2007
1
0
0
Tess has bad reviews popping up all over Perb now!

Folks didn’t see Tess’s bad reviews before as she is Bobst’s SO. For those of you who are new Bobst had his name in red on perb at one time and then was a perb mod therefore she had his protection on the board and nothing bad was previously allowed to be said about Tess. Now that Bobst is banned from perb the truth is spoken.


It is no secret Bobst and Tess plan to be married soon.

Congratulations!
 

itravelcanada

Member
Dec 12, 2004
104
0
16
???

Long dick ...

For one post - you seem to know this board intimately unless you go by another name...

I call a SHILL
 

SlimShady

I like to poon.
Oct 29, 2002
858
4
18
I too never realized the pictures weren't of her.

Nonetheless I will be passing on seeing her. Too much $ for a bodytype that doesn't turn my crank.

Happy pooning!
 

deslicher

New member
Jun 25, 2006
234
0
0
Long dick ...

For one post - you seem to know this board intimately unless you go by another name...

I call a SHILL
Huh....Who would LD be Shilling?

I've seen Tess before....and really she should have paid me....she's a nice person and the service wasn't terrible, but it just wasn't that great....and what's worse is that she has an ad in the Sun by a different name, she goes by Tess here, and a new Craigs List Ad popping up everywhere....WTF does an independent with a good reputation have to do that?

Answer: She doesn't

We're Dun
 

zekewildflower

New member
Jun 28, 2004
23
0
0
I saw her last year and was not impressed either... the pics were not her.. the stretchmarks were a little too much to take and and she was just not what I was into...
 

mookster

Un Baratineur
Sep 29, 2005
166
1
18
Mookster For The Defence!

This thread somehow seems to be getting a little hurtful, so once again I feel that I must jump in...

I feel fortunate that Tess considers me a friend as well as a client so please realize that my comments are affected by that happy circumstance. Please realize as well that Tess, like other ladies on this board, is an actual person with real feelings. I know this is a review board and part of that is giving the bad with the good but please do it with concern for the person involved.

Eric99 didn't have the session he was looking and that is unfortunate... but one thing he fails to realize is that this is a money driven industry (quel suprise!) Subtlety has very little place were money is concerned and Tess is not the only lady to count the money right away. Two reasons that a provider does this come to mind... if you mistakenly gave her too little she can let you know immediately with no suspicion that she is trying to hit you up for more with no reason and the second being that a rip-off is not unheard of. He may be honest (as well as subtle) but others are not. He also arrived late and was upset at another appointment being scheduled so close. Again two things... one, don't be late and two, sometimes a provider sees more than one client in a day. I agree that the scheduling was tight but conflicts sometimes arise. I'm sure Tess will take this into consideration in the future. Despite not enjoying the session, Eric99 still managed to get off twice. Couldn't have been that bad.

Some of the comments that followed Erics review seemed like piling on, with the only purpose being to hurt, and that is uncalled for. Earlier in this thread Tess was critisized for not using real pictures of herself. She responded and added accurate pictures. The point being, that as a proffessional she appreciates comments (both positive and negative) and will act on them.

She makes no claim to being a very young spinner and if that is what you are looking for please look elsewere. Derogatory comments only serve to insult and hurt.

As far as I know, there are no marriage plans in the works (to BOBST or anyone else) and that she is not BOBST's SO. As mentioned before, she (like most other providers) actually has a life outside this industry and is very private about it... we should respect that privacy.

Tess has not requested to be put on a DNR list... she stands up and takes the hits like a trooper. I can think of no other career were the critisism is so personal. Providers are openly and regularly judged on looks, performance, attitude, breast size, etc... I don't know if any of us could (or would!) stand up to that kind of scrutiny.

I apologize for the rant but if you ever wonder why some women leave the boards or ask to not be reviewed just ask yourselves if you could put up some of the comments that they do. Please remember that we are dealing with real people with real emotions and real feelings and lets act accordingly.

Thanks for slogging through this.

Mookster
 

Lever2000

Banned
Oct 15, 2006
78
0
0
Mookster For The Defence!

This thread somehow seems to be getting a little hurtful, so once again I feel that I must jump in...

I feel fortunate that Tess considers me a friend as well as a client so please realize that my comments are affected by that happy circumstance. Please realize as well that Tess, like other ladies on this board, is an actual person with real feelings. I know this is a review board and part of that is giving the bad with the good but please do it with concern for the person involved.

Eric99 didn't have the session he was looking and that is unfortunate... but one thing he fails to realize is that this is a money driven industry (quel suprise!) Subtlety has very little place were money is concerned and Tess is not the only lady to count the money right away. Two reasons that a provider does this come to mind... if you mistakenly gave her too little she can let you know immediately with no suspicion that she is trying to hit you up for more with no reason and the second being that a rip-off is not unheard of. He may be honest (as well as subtle) but others are not. He also arrived late and was upset at another appointment being scheduled so close. Again two things... one, don't be late and two, sometimes a provider sees more than one client in a day. I agree that the scheduling was tight but conflicts sometimes arise. I'm sure Tess will take this into consideration in the future. Despite not enjoying the session, Eric99 still managed to get off twice. Couldn't have been that bad.

Some of the comments that followed Erics review seemed like piling on, with the only purpose being to hurt, and that is uncalled for. Earlier in this thread Tess was critisized for not using real pictures of herself. She responded and added accurate pictures. The point being, that as a proffessional she appreciates comments (both positive and negative) and will act on them.

She makes no claim to being a very young spinner and if that is what you are looking for please look elsewere. Derogatory comments only serve to insult and hurt.

As far as I know, there are no marriage plans in the works (to BOBST or anyone else) and that she is not BOBST's SO. As mentioned before, she (like most other providers) actually has a life outside this industry and is very private about it... we should respect that privacy.

Tess has not requested to be put on a DNR list... she stands up and takes the hits like a trooper. I can think of no other career were the critisism is so personal. Providers are openly and regularly judged on looks, performance, attitude, breast size, etc... I don't know if any of us could (or would!) stand up to that kind of scrutiny.

I apologize for the rant but if you ever wonder why some women leave the boards or ask to not be reviewed just ask yourselves if you could put up some of the comments that they do. Please remember that we are dealing with real people with real emotions and real feelings and lets act accordingly.

Thanks for slogging through this.

Mookster

Well said Mookster. Enough is enough. All this inuendo is ridiculous. Leave it be boys. Time to move on.
 

Jaman50

Loves to Give ... LOVE
Feb 10, 2004
437
0
0
Well said Mookster. Enough is enough. All this inuendo is ridiculous. Leave it be boys. Time to move on.
AMEN ... Thanks Lever.

MODS ... don't you think it's time to lock this thread??
 
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