Receiving a compliment from an SP: Genuine, fake or a mix of both?

[Sibar]

Kinda of a compliment, I had one AMP asked for my phone number. Problem is I only have a work phone on me.

One AMP, helped me put my clothes on and made sure my shirt was tucked in.

 

[white Ninja]

could ask for beyond this ones on the house.

Fingers crossed LMAO

 

[Luv2Luv]

I'd say just take it as part of the experience and unless it's clearly disingenuous just roll with it. Actually even if it is clearly fake, so what? I figure any good provider is going to have quality delivery and frankly, helping you feel good physically and emotionally is kind of the point, so the effort is appreciated IMO.

That being said, I try to be extremely respectful of an SPs time, but sometimes notice that we're talking and having fun so much that we go over time or they are actually keeping me there longer , I take that as the highest compliment. Also when an SP reaches out to let me know she's coming to town. At the end of the day, transaction notwithstanding, it's nice when somebody is choosing to spend some of their own time with you.

 

[bigballs55]

I agree with just accepting the compliment at face value. Most people, at least the ones I meet, are not out to give fake compliments to keep you coming back. I personally have had several providers say nice things about a feature of my anatomy that definitely makes me feel good and in kind, I always try and compliment whomever I am with as well. It's always nice to give others a positive message. I figure there is so much negativity in the world already so why not brighten someones day if you can.

 

[freakydeaky1]

I'm wondering if there is an ethical "grey area" in some instances, where the compliments or details of conversation turn into deception, in order to ensure future business, especially with those who are emotionally vulnerable and spending a lot of time/money with one particular provider in search of something approaching "meaningful."

I totally understand that this is a business and with any client you want to try to ensure they stick with you, but when a provider starts to notice a client is becoming too attached, should there be an obligation on their part to at least have a conversation about expectations and reality, or is it OK for them to just keep manipulating and pulling the clients strings until it becomes dysfunctional.

It is our responsibility as clients to know what's what and not get it twisted, but that doesn't mean you can't genuinely care for your provider after a number of years and lots of nice dates, and end up feeling like a mark and a fool when you realize the feeling is the furthest thing from mutual, and perhaps completely the opposite.

The mind can be quite logical and rational, but the heart isn't nearly as discerning.

I've noticed some in this hobby mention they never see the same provider more than once, and was curious if this was why. I personally, have to see ones I enjoy on the first date at least one or two more times for some reason.

GFE turns from Girl Friend Experience to Gifted at Fucking w. Emotions

 

[Luv2Luv]

I'm wondering if there is an ethical "grey area" in some instances, where the compliments or details of conversation turn into deception, in order to ensure future business, especially with those who are emotionally vulnerable and spending a lot of time/money with one particular provider in search of something approaching "meaningful."

I totally understand that this is a business and with any client you want to try to ensure they stick with you, but when a provider starts to notice a client is becoming too attached, should there be an obligation on their part to at least have a conversation about expectations and reality, or is it OK for them to just keep manipulating and pulling the clients strings until it becomes dysfunctional.

It is our responsibility as clients to know what's what and not get it twisted, but that doesn't mean you can't genuinely care for your provider after a number of years and lots of nice dates, and end up feeling like a mark and a fool when you realize the feeling is the furthest thing from mutual, and perhaps completely the opposite.

The mind can be quite logical and rational, but the heart isn't nearly as discerning.

I've noticed some in this hobby mention they never see the same provider more than once, and was curious if this was why. I personally, have to see ones I enjoy on the first date at least one or two more times for some reason.

GFE turns from Girl Friend Experience to Gifted at Fucking w. Emotions

I feel Caveat Emptor, let the buyer beware, applies strongly here, but I don't see a problem with an SP continuing to provide services to someone who may be developing deeper feelings than would be healthy for them. Really it's a problem by and for the client and whether or not someone wants to tackle that or not is a personal choice and not an ethical obligation. This might be akin to a bartender refusing service to someone who's drunk, or where someone has developed a possessive/jealous/stalkery streak, which is again, not the SPs fault.

Of course, if someone is crossing into actual manipulation that harms someone by dangling more in order to, in effect, rob someone under false pretenses, than that's wrong (I don't mean, act pleasant so they come back, that's just good service and business, I mean like "I think I love you and you should trust me, what's your PIN number?") I think at that point whoever is manipulating isn't an SP, they are a criminal con artist, and those exist everywhere, across all genders and fields.

I don't think an SP should be any more responsible for their clients well being or mental health then any other service or sale industry. I used to work at the Liquor Commission and, while I had a legal responsibility to not sell to someone already drunk, I didn't have an obligation to refuse to sell and then sit an obvious alcoholic down and explain how drinking is ruining their life. Restaurant servers don't have a responsibility to refuse a pizza to an obese man with a possible heart condition and car salesman aren't obligated to refuse to sell someone a Ferrari and sit them down to explain that having a small penis is totally fine.

TLDR: criminals are gonna crime, clients are responsible for their own feelings, and SPs are not any more required to take responsibility for someone else's financial, physical and/or emotional well being.

 

[LLLurkJ2]

There’s something nice to say about everyone. Why lie when I can say something true? 🤷🏼‍♀️

$$$$

 

[blakealridge]

$$$$

This makes no sense. Saying a genuine compliment doesn’t get me more money than saying one I don’t mean.

 

[dchoye]

Had a SP telling me how she love my cock when I was pounding her. Don’t know it’s it’s genuine or not but it did make me go longer than usual

 

[LLLurkJ2]

This makes no sense. Saying a genuine compliment doesn’t get me more money than saying one I don’t mean.

Im not saying its wrong by any means, but i assume stroking the ego is part of the loving arts. It is true you wouldnt have to lie about it though.

 

[Luv2Luv]

This makes no sense. Saying a genuine compliment doesn’t get me more money than saying one I don’t mean.

Everyone, there's a simple solution we just aren't seeing here!

USB Polygraph 2: Police Edition - Home Lie Detector Machine https://a.co/d/3eSIRdA

And prepare for the most awkward sex of your life 😋

 

[freakydeaky1]

I feel Caveat Emptor, let the buyer beware, applies strongly here, but I don't see a problem with an SP continuing to provide services to someone who may be developing deeper feelings than would be healthy for them. Really it's a problem by and for the client and whether or not someone wants to tackle that or not is a personal choice and not an ethical obligation. This might be akin to a bartender refusing service to someone who's drunk, or where someone has developed a possessive/jealous/stalkery streak, which is again, not the SPs fault.

Of course, if someone is crossing into actual manipulation that harms someone by dangling more in order to, in effect, rob someone under false pretenses, than that's wrong (I don't mean, act pleasant so they come back, that's just good service and business, I mean like "I think I love you and you should trust me, what's your PIN number?") I think at that point whoever is manipulating isn't an SP, they are a criminal con artist, and those exist everywhere, across all genders and fields.

I don't think an SP should be any more responsible for their clients well being or mental health then any other service or sale industry. I used to work at the Liquor Commission and, while I had a legal responsibility to not sell to someone already drunk, I didn't have an obligation to refuse to sell and then sit an obvious alcoholic down and explain how drinking is ruining their life. Restaurant servers don't have a responsibility to refuse a pizza to an obese man with a possible heart condition and car salesman aren't obligated to refuse to sell someone a Ferrari and sit them down to explain that having a small penis is totally fine.

TLDR: criminals are gonna crime, clients are responsible for their own feelings, and SPs are not any more required to take responsibility for someone else's financial, physical and/or emotional well being.

I feel you. One def needs to be street smart about this stuff and not let themselves get got, but for some it’s easier said than done.

I believe your sentiment is buyer beware, which is wise. I suppose it’s an unrealistic expectation these days to think that there are providers out there who might actually CHOOSE to do what’s most kind and compassionate for another, despite the risk of losing a client, as opposed to feeling like it’s an obligation and warrants no consideration. I feel like if that happened to me I’d only be more drawn to them, for the empathy, character & integrity required to choose not to potentially perpetuate pain and suffering for another, regardless of the sacrifice of a regular paycheck. And if either or both decide it best to shut it down, it seems like a healthier resolution, with less long term damage or resentment, which is usually the catalyst for bad behavior for those who can’t regulate emotions well.

Just as corporate greed should be held accountable for the harm they cause vulnerable populations and their general detriment to the world, instead being impervious to their ethical negligence.

I say this with all due respect and have no judgments for the decisions people make, we all have convincing justifications where causing some harm is necessary to get our needs met, and we need to look after ourselves in the end.

….don’t hate the player, the game…

 

[Luv2Luv]

i feel you. We def need to be street smart about this stuff and not let ourselves get got, but for me it’s easier said than done.

I suppose the romantic would like to believe that a provider a client has been spending that amount of time and cash on, who insists they sincerely enjoy their time together, would after a few years of regular dates and easily a years tuition at decent university + extras would place the clients mental health and well being over their own financial gain.

Just as corporate greed should be held accountable for the harm they cause vulnerable populations and their general detriment to the world, instead being impervious to their ethical negligence.

Anyway, I know your are accurate in your scentiment (or lack their of 🤪?), I suppose it’s a unrealistic expectation these days to think someone might CHOOSE to do what’s the most kind and compassionate, as opposed to feeling like it’s an OBLIGATION that warrants no consideration.


I feel you. One def needs to be street smart about this stuff and not let themselves get got, but for some it’s easier said than done.

I believe your sentiment is buyer beware, which is wise. I suppose it’s an unrealistic expectation these days to think that there are providers out there who might actually CHOOSE to do what’s most kind and compassionate for another, despite the risk of losing a client, as opposed to feeling like it’s an obligation and warrants no consideration. I feel like if that happened to me I’d only be more drawn to them, for the empathy, character & integrity required to choose not to potentially perpetuate pain and suffering for another, regardless of the sacrifice of a regular paycheck. And if either or both decide it best to shut it down, it seems like a healthier resolution, with less long term damage or resentment, which is usually the catalyst for bad behavior for those who can’t regulate emotions well.

Just as corporate greed should be held accountable for the harm they cause vulnerable populations and their general detriment to the world, instead being impervious to their ethical negligence.

I say this with all due respect and have no judgments for the decisions people make, we all have convincing justifications where causing some harm is necessary to get our needs meet, and we need to look after ourselves in the end.

….don’t hate the player, the game…

Oh don't get me wrong, I'm probably the most idealistic person out there, and yet somehow one of the most cynical 🤣 I feel anyone who chooses to go above and beyond should be celebrated, but I don't think anyone who fails to meet someone else's unrealistic expectations or emotions should be pilloried. There's a reason therapy's it's own profession though, no one, in any field has the type of time and mental energy to monitor everyone they meet in their life. I agree that shutting something down if things get messy on one, the other, or both sides is definitely a good idea (in, basically anything, actually). I was just thinking of how many hundreds of my own business clients I'd have to monitor and my brain shut down, although I have spent time consoling some that have broken down in tears and tried to help if I can.

Combine the toxic ideas that you're entitled to someone else's feelings because you've slept with and/or purchased something from someone (or both), in any part of life, beyond the agreed upon parameters of the transaction is a problem with the buyer, not the seller. Frankly I feel like that's how incels are made, when someone has an unreasonable sense of ownership or entitlement to someone's body and/or heart and feels personally slighted that they aren't getting what they feel they're owed. That's a terrifying mind set and I don't envy women that have to deal with that bullshit of having to justify being, you know, a human being.

 

[freakydeaky1]

Oh don't get me wrong, I'm probably the most idealistic person out there, and yet somehow one of the most cynical 🤣 I feel anyone who chooses to go above and beyond should be celebrated, but I don't think anyone who fails to meet someone else's unrealistic expectations or emotions should be pilloried. There's a reason therapy's it's own profession though, no one, in any field has the type of time and mental energy to monitor everyone they meet in their life. I agree that shutting something down if things get messy on one, the other, or both sides is definitely a good idea (in, basically anything, actually). I was just thinking of how many hundreds of my own business clients I'd have to monitor and my brain shut down, although I have spent time consoling some that have broken down in tears and tried to help if I can.

Combine the toxic ideas that you're entitled to someone else's feelings because you've slept with and/or purchased something from someone (or both), in any part of life, beyond the agreed upon parameters of the transaction is a problem with the buyer, not the seller. Frankly I feel like that's how incels are made, when someone has an unreasonable sense of ownership or entitlement to someone's body and/or heart and feels personally slighted that they aren't getting what they feel they're owed. That's a terrifying mind set and I don't envy women that have to deal with that bullshit of having to justify being, you know, a human being.

I didn’t start going to therapy again until 2 years into this hobby and seeing how it was activating some old damage I needed to deal with, and I’m surely grateful for the less than desirable energy providers took on from me when it became apparent in conversations that I didn’t feel all that great most of the time, but in a round about way, doing this for about 3 years woke me up to my need for more inner work, and less hobbying.

So win win in a way I hope ? 🤷

 

[VinVan]

$$$$

From my years on this planet I have discerned there are a couple of ways that folks make their path through this life:

1. Assume everyone is out to get you and treat everybody with suspicion and mistrust. Guard your valuables and you emotions. Be thrifty with your compliments because only a few are deserving of them.

2. Everyone is a friend until proven otherwise. Be happy, say hello to all; be free and honest with compliments; be emotionally available; be present. If someone negs you, move on - no biggie.

I choose the second camp because my life is just better when I’m that person. People who are close to me are happier; people who are acquaintances are happier; strangers are happier; SPs are happier.

When I’m mired in the first category the opposite is true.

And whenever I’m given a choice I’ll choose to spend time with people who are generally #2, and say farewell to people who are #1.

In my experience the folks in camp #2 know it’s a choice to be there and are aware of the benefits it bestows upon them, and those in their lives; and the folks in camp #1 are often unaware that a camp #2 even exists.

 

[westwoody]

Camp#1 includes people who have to win every interaction.
An example is people who have to get a discount on everything they buy, even if it’s fifty cents on an extension cord. (Yes I have seen contractors do this at Rona and Home Depot)

 

[rubylabellexo]

2. Everyone is a friend until proven otherwise. Be happy, say hello to all; be free and honest with compliments; be emotionally available; be present. If someone negs you, move on - no biggie.

I love this perspective.

When SPs compliment guys, we are often noticing specific details - for example, lovely eyes, or a nice smile, or strong shoulders.
Do your best to simply accept the compliment as genuine and enjoy it. It's an opportunity to brighten your day

 

[freakydeaky1]

From my years on this planet I have discerned there are a couple of ways that folks make their path through this life:

1. Assume everyone is out to get you and treat everybody with suspicion and mistrust. Guard your valuables and you emotions. Be thrifty with your compliments because only a few are deserving of them.

2. Everyone is a friend until proven otherwise. Be happy, say hello to all; be free and honest with compliments; be emotionally available; be present. If someone negs you, move on - no biggie.

I choose the second camp because my life is just better when I’m that person. People who are close to me are happier; people who are acquaintances are happier; strangers are happier; SPs are happier.

When I’m mired in the first category the opposite is true.

And whenever I’m given a choice I’ll choose to spend time with people who are generally #2, and say farewell to people who are #1.

In my experience the folks in camp #2 know it’s a choice to be there and are aware of the benefits it bestows upon them, and those in their lives; and the folks in camp #1 are often unaware that a camp #2 even exists.

If you go through life being inauthentic for fear of getting abandoned or hurt, you aren’t truly living.

I agree it’s much more joyful to try to trust everyone and know that if you get hurt or betrayed by someone, it might sting for a bit, but in the end you showed up in the best possible way and the karma is theirs to bear.

 

[VinVan]

I love this perspective.

When SPs compliment guys, we are often noticing specific details - for example, lovely eyes, or a nice smile, or strong shoulders.
Do your best to simply accept the compliment as genuine and enjoy it. It's an opportunity to brighten your day

Totally.

I find it kind of funny how some guys on this forum who think every provider is a grifter out to milk every penny out of every client; any action performed with the sole intent of adding to their bank account; like a smile or any kind gesture outside of coitus is the act of a jezabel out to swindle you.

When I see my lawyer we smile at each other and update details of our lives; when I see my dentist I’m interested in their journey, and they in mine; at the pet food store the clerk and I flirt a bit. I know each of those is a commercial transaction and I am paying them for a service; I know it’s in their best interest to be nice to me, but they’re under no obligation to share details of their life or ask about mine beyond professional protocol - and yet they do. I take it at face value and I suspect most of us have plowed enough fields to know what’s chaff and what’s wheat.

SPs provide the most intimate of human needs and if they are kind to us then I suspect most times it’s a part of their personality and not a plan to steal your PIN number.

 

[Wakeup]

Groupon, come on, its everywhere