Real talk right there
Seeing a SP outside of work?
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Very beautiful words written but are those true? not much. It looks more like grass is always greener at other side.
The person wrote everything like a rebellion against society, without realizing that for a long time we use to live like animals, eat, sleep, and fuck whoever we wanted and wherever we wanted? Society was created for a reason. Rules, laws. societal constructs are like this today because of numerous reasons. I also dont agree with multiple things in society but debunking everything as BS doesnt seem logical.
How many SPs the person been in contact with, had a relationship with to say those skills are better in SPs and not much in civillian women, seems a narrow view.
I would suggest come back when you date, or be in relationship, or even know more about and then add your experience in your comments, because right now its just "I don't like something so an alternative must be good".
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Fair criticism, I'm just waxing philosophical about the whole thing, really, and appreciate the feedback. And no, I didn't mean those skills are only in SPs, my career involves working with a lot of self managed business owners which I love to do, and the SPs I have met have a lot of those qualities, and I'm thinking that the ones who are successful tend to have that in a larger proportion.
And yes, I'm not advocating anarchy, I'm just saying that I think a lot of givens we're taught and exposed to twist us in weird ways and create feelings of jealousy, rage, anger, hate, control, that may have had their place at a certain time, but we can and should do better. Propaganda works, mostly because we think we're to smart for propaganda to work on us.
Also in my 40s, have kids, professional career, long relationship (ended couple years ago, hence why I'm here), and just from talking to friends, clients, dates etc. I just think there's some deep seated mysogny and hangups about sex and this discussion around relationships and sex work seemed to highlight some interesting opinions. Just wanted to throw my two cents out after reading the thread and giving it some thought. I'm ready to be completely wrong though 😋
Awesome response man, I am with you now on everything said above.
There are good and bad people everywhere, nor all civillans are bad, neither all SPs are good. Moreover, good and bad is subjective, as its not possible for a person to be just good or bad for everyone.
SPs are also one of us, and should not be treated different than any of us!.
The following is actually pretty common and expresses itself in modern men to varying degrees:
In psychoanalytic literature, a Madonna–whore complex (also called a Madonna–mistress complex) is the inability to maintain sexual arousal within a committed and loving relationship.[1] First identified by Sigmund Freud, who called it psychic impotence,[2] it is a psychological complex that is said to develop in men who see women as either saintly Madonnas or debased whores. Men with this complex desire a sexual partner who has been degraded (whore) while they cannot desire the respected partner (Madonna).[3] Freud wrote, "Where such men love they have no desire, and where they desire they cannot love."[4] Clinical psychologist Uwe Hartmann wrote in 2009 that the complex "is still highly prevalent in today's patients".[3]
There is also the commonly held opinion that emotional expression in males is not masculine. Anger is the only acceptable manly emotion, real men don't cry but real men can lose it in a fit of rage. This is clearly not psychologically healthy and the lifelong repression of natural forms of human emotional expression, thoughts, and physical experiences (i.e. crying, hugging, etc) creates a need that cannot be fulfilled the same way it is fulfilled for women in societies with strongly dichotomous gender roles. This, combined with Capitalism, has lead to a monetary value to be placed on sex, but generally only women's (and gay men's) sexuality. Women can get intimacy and emotional fulfillment from platonic forms of expression whereas many men can only do so with an intimate partner. This creates a comingling of intimacy, love, and sex that has lead to an industry where women sell and men pay.
It's definitely a weird place to be. Also after I wrote that first post I almost deleted it because I felt a bit preachy. 😋 It's just such a contradiction that we can be perfectly happy and trusting to pay for service, and then the minute a possible relationship, rare as it may be, pops up its suddenly suspicion and conspiracy because of what they do for work. Hell given the rates per hour I feel like the SP should be more worried about the guy gold digging. 🤔
I'm not saying everyone should or could get over it, you do you, but I feel like we'd need to be honest that the problem is probably with our (male) perception, not their work. And if you feel that an SP is inherently untrustworthy because they are "paid to act", well shit, I guess Tom Hanks is secretly history's greatest monster.
Anyway, to original poster, if you feel comfortable with the person and enjoy their company, go for it. Probably would be one of the more honest relationships you'd ever have. But if she's put herself out there which, statistically, puts her more at physical risk than you, take the compliment and have a spring to remember. There's already a drop dead date anyway. We are not our work.
Thats not what this post is about though. this post seems more about OP getting into a casual or fwb type situation with a provider. he also says she is leaving so it seems more short term.
As for the gold digging part, I dunno seems like the top providers in vancouver are making low 6 figures (if that) which isnt exactly gold digging income in a city like vancouver.
if you want to discuss dating SP's maybe make another thread to discuss it? but warning, I made one of those threads once and it got shut down pretty quick , but mine was "would you date an SP" .
I could definitely see it happening, but it would more than likely be because the dynamics of the relationship just turned in that direction, and not because you were really looking for it. It would also come from having a rather long relationship with her as an SP and then forming a trust to open up personally to care about each other enough to want to be more involved in each others lives. I think there is a stereotype that ladies are involved in this industry because they are forced into it. I have found this to be not true at all. I have met many intelligent ladies that are doing all kinds of great things outside of this industry. Some that I have also stayed friends with when they left the industry.
Agreed, if it develops into that it would be likely you would want that person changing their profession. If it can be a casual and mutually beneficial experience then that is fantastic. After separating from my wife I decided to explore the option of sexual pleasure in a form of a business transaction between a few SP’s when I felt the need. It was a very positive experience and was a great ego boost hearing from a few that they would try to pick me up outside work and why the fack I was single. I too developed a FWB type with an extremely confident, intelligent woman that was very attractive. I would still visit the agency now and then to support her professionally but we also met outside that establishment and went for food, drink and had amazing sex. This worked for me I am convinced because I thought it was hot she had an online profile with sexy photos and was such a sexual creature. It didn’t bother me that she was doing her job as I too was still entertaining other women and able to have crazy sex with this gorgeous woman. Taking pics and vid’s and both being sexually open to trying anything we wanted.
As a man that is fit, well hung and confident engaging women successfully …it was puzzling that a few years ago I realized that seeing another male also athletic and endowed turned me on when watching porn. Seeing a big cock, wet and hard being enjoyed by women I wondered what it would feel like. I decided to arrange a meeting with a beautiful SP @yvr Fairmont. I was very nervous as the individual coming to me was a transexual I had no experience exploring this new desire. She was gorgeous physically and our vibe was instant as she was funny, intelligent and comforting knowing I had never done this. She had a beautiful and big cock, very feminine figure. We never met again but sexted often sharing pics, vids and filthy banter that we both benefitted from!
If you like this individual and get what you want then who cares she supports herself in that profession. If seeing her on occasion and having amazing sexual fun and allowing yourself to explore with her is doing it for you…do it! I still love women and always will but since my experience at the Fairmont I have been trying to connect with another male that is similar physically to myself to share pics, vids and who knows!? Maybe met up one day to try mutual stroking, oral! Unsuccessful this far but I don’t regret exploring communicating with an SP outside of the business arrangement and neither should you!
I would be careful. My first thought would be she is going to try to use you for money if she thinks you have enough to spare and are an easy enough target. Be guarded until you can trust her intentions. 2 sessions in is nothing.
Go with her on the date.... if she's that great of company that you saw her twice, and she's willing to be with you (outside her billable hours, lol). Why not?
You're not going to move in together, marry her, or have kids, grow old together.....etc.... It's a common thing people do when they meet someone and the future-machine in your head revs up, imagining the distance you two can achieve together. Don't get ahead of yourself.
... it's just a date....it's just for fun.
...that said, yes, there are some red flags to be aware of when dating someone in the industry. And it's usually "baggage", and the inability to form long distance relationships because of the amount of people she's been with; which also applies to you too, depending on how much you've delved into this hobby, making yourself believe your relationship status with whoever is 'too fluid' to commit fully....but that's another topic.
Another red flag, is 'what kind of provider is she?"... High-end VIP escort type? College girl paying her tuition? Till-jockey supplementing her income? Trafficked into the city via shipping container straight out of the East Europe? Behind a dumpster laying spread eagle on flattened cardboard supplementing her addiction?.... Yes, I'm being glib, but realize for whatever reasons she's into this trade, keep in mind if it's not for 'honorable' reasons like "she loves sex, and based her whole reasoning on a new-age hippie philosophy on love and intimacy, and she's a WILLING participant.... you could be dragged into her problems; and depending on how deep those problems are, you could get sucked in.
...but still, 'it's just a date'... have fun, but keep your distance, until the big picture becomes clear.
Going home in a few months....where's home ? Victoria, Montreal, Bangkok, Moscow...??? That might give a hint as to any nefarious motives for taking a liking to you, but if there are no red flags...go for it. Somebody likes somebody and wants to spend time with them, why not go for it. An honest attraction is an honest attraction.....enjoy it.
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A bit late but I got lucky and exchanged numbers with an SP on her last day. She moved out of town and when she visits I’m able to book her [as I would a normal session] yet she does not advertise while in town anymore. Not sure if that’s a FWB type deal even though I’m still paying for her time but I chalked that up as a W and pure luck that she was cool exchanging numbers and name.
We don’t go on dates though ofc but if she offered I’d still take a plunge. Doesn’t hurt to be go out with someone once in a while if you can pull all that work/SP stuff aside
Seeing a SP outside of work?
The best I can hope for these days is seeing an sp that is "out of work".
The best I can hope for these days is seeing an sp that is "out of work".
One I had outcall date with provider,
She saw I had a pool and asked if her and her friend could come and swim at it one time
I got second outcall for free .
I dont trick myself into thinking she liked me, but she liked my pool.
and she liked my pool enough to have sex with me without payment.
She saw I had a pool and asked if her and her friend could come and swim at it one time
I got second outcall for free .
I dont trick myself into thinking she liked me, but she liked my pool.
and she liked my pool enough to have sex with me without payment.
A tall order to have the discipline to stick to these points, but JP I think you’ve nailed it.
Have you consider copywriting, or being like a wikihow writer because 💯 Beautiful. I didn't even need this information and I feel blessed by the clarity and concise nature.
Kramer: "The two of you need to work on trust. Then, and only then will there be a free exchange of sex and discounts. The cornerstones of a healthy relationship."
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