When you start hating your job

[LC18]

I am sure you’ve met or will meet a service provider who just lacks energy, enthusiasm and just wants to rush you out of the door.

Being a sex worker is just like any other job and you can suffer from exhaustion/burnout.

The simple difference is that since you are an independent worker, you can’t just go on a wellness/medical leave.

Many providers just keep seeing clients because they don’t have a choice. I am writing this because, yes, I do read reviews when I’m off. (Usually during that week of the month). I can tell in some of those reviews that the person you’ve seen most likely doesn’t like her job anymore.

When I read things like “I’ve seen her a few times and her service has decreased in quality”, I know she is most likely just exhausted.

Some companions/masseuses just push their own limits by trying to see as many client as possible or by accepting things they wouldn’t normally do.


What would you do if you’ve noticed your ATF or a regular SP’s mood dramatically changed? Would you keep seeing her and hope she finds her mojo again?

 

[westwoody]

One was so miserable she told me how much she hated the job and she hated her customers.
Right at the start of the session.
Paid for an hour and left with 15 minutes.

Yeah life sucks for all of us sometimes. But if you incapable of doing your job in a professional manner don’t do it. You risk permanently damaging your reputation.

 

[vitaminD]

One was so miserable she told me how much she hated the job and she hated her customers.
Right at the start of the session.
Paid for an hour and left with 15 minutes.

Yeah life sucks for all of us sometimes. But if you incapable of doing your job in a professional manner don’t do it. You risk permanently damaging your reputation.

yeah I can only have so much empathy. like im sure theres lots of guys on here, myself included who work very high level jobs, I dont get the option of being a bad client, slacking, doing my job poorly because I am feeling exhausted or burnt out.

 

[vitaminD]

Id add to the list of reasons SP's services decreased:
-they are hungover. I often see providers on weekends, and the amount of times a girl has told me they are hungover (this is especially common at agencies) is quite common, and it can really make for a provider who is usually really good, giving sub par service.
-providers getting a boyfriend and continuing working, I follow alot of SP's instagram accounts with my burner IG, some will get a boyfriend and then the next time I see them their service has decreased in quality.
-unhealthy lifestyle, letting themselves go
-age
-general misandry and hatred towards men.
-delusion
-not being able to keep up with their extravagant lifestyle/debt
-being bad with money/ financial illiteracy

 

[masterpoonhunter]

I know that most of the Asian regulars I frequent take 4-8 weeks off a year, sometimes more than once, and go back home, come back pretty charged up.
But there are many SP's ethnicity aside who have aged out, burnt out, etc just as the OP stated, exhausted.
I don't know the details of money in and money out for them as to whether they can get a life and work balance but that one aspect is something I really wish I had learned a long time ago.

 

[Lady Vanessa]

Life is about hurdles. I reached a point in my life (*age, experience...is why us mature companions shouldn't be ruled out by agism) where I refuse to live unhappy and that includes me choosing
this industry as my main business. I base my longevity, happiness and being able to put my best foot forward by choosing ME first!
I provide services that make me happy to accept my clientele, without burnout or disdain. There is no way in hell that I could just provide FS sex or PSE.
If you get to the point where you're hating your job, then you must evaluate within yourself first. Make the changes , or retire.

On a client perspective. I would never return to a situation where I didn't feel valued.

 

[vanperb]

I've seen this happen and it's very noticeable. It's a real professional who puts on their game face even when they're loathing every interaction. I think it gives those providers with retail and customer service experience a real advantage in this industry.

I've had conversation with providers who actively and loudly hate men. Not much you can do to salvage a session when they declare it along with how we're responsible for all evil in the world, and how we should all be murdered.

Beyond burn out another reason for a decline in services is suddenly finding themselves being in a relationship. A lot of providers are in relationships, and they can internally draw a line between professional and personal relationships. Some can't and you can see it in their face when what used to be good time, turns into an exercise in self-loathing. Though these reasons aren't exclusively attributed to burnout, they do occur.

As far as stepping away, it's hard. I don't know many careers with low barriers to entry that has similar hourly / annual rates. People with mental or physical health issues, overwhelming responsibilities, or who are just wired differently may not have many alternatives. I would imagine this would make a lot of people feeling trapped.

I always see a posts from providers who say how they're grateful that escorting has provided them the financial stability, independence, and success in their lives, but I don't think it often translates to financial goals that their generational peers have. I've seen a lot of providers who've retired, and simply come back in 6 months after time spent as a civilian. I will say the same thing I tell everyone, the secret is to know when to stop. Make sure you have an escape route. Have a good chunk of savings to support yourself during recovery/transition. Change up your lifestyle to match your new reality. Know what your plan B or C or D is, and be ready to execute them after some downtime for recovery. Maybe keep a couple of clients they don't loathe as back up to help. I know not everyone can do this, especially with how things are. Sadly, the world is just getting harder and harder.

 

[maniacalone]

I am sure you’ve met or will meet a service provider who just lacks energy, enthusiasm and just wants to rush you out of the door.

Being a sex worker is just like any other job and you can suffer from exhaustion/burnout.

The simple difference is that since you are an independent worker, you can’t just go on a wellness/medical leave.

Many providers just keep seeing clients because they don’t have a choice. I am writing this because, yes, I do read reviews when I’m off. (Usually during that week of the month). I can tell in some of those reviews that the person you’ve seen most likely doesn’t like her job anymore.

When I read things like “I’ve seen her a few times and her service has decreased in quality”, I know she is most likely just exhausted.

Some companions/masseuses just push their own limits by trying to see as many client as possible or by accepting things they wouldn’t normally do.


What would you do if you’ve noticed your ATF or a regular SP’s mood dramatically changed? Would you keep seeing her and hope she finds her mojo again?

Lucky to say I have never faced this. My regulars have been very professional and always manage to stay engaged through the visits.

I have a theory the burnout for women may come from the anxiety of the unknown walking through the door on a daily basis. Unattractive men, stranger danger, etc.

I’d suggest you create a list of clients you enjoy spending time with sexually speaking and financially incentivize them to return at lower rates than new clients.

By doing so your revenues will decline but it will reduce your stress and burnout for three reasons. Cash flow becomes predictable. Marketing costs will be lowered. Most importantly, your personal anxiety pertaining to the unknown will make it easier to work. I am convinced this is why there is a declining number of escorts and a rise in sugar babee activity.

Sugar babee work is the golden parachute. Limited partners and a predictable income stream.

 

[vanperb]

The simple difference is that since you are an independent worker, you can’t just go on a wellness/medical leave.

I can't do this in my job either, and I'd like to think I work for a forgiving company. I've seen this happen a couple of times.

• One took a week off on company dime to gather himself. Came back for a week and quit promptly on Friday.
• One had a meltdown and blamed his supervisor for creating a toxic environment. Got paid about a 15 grand, and they quietly let him go.
• One took a week off, came back and asked for a severe demotion. He's pretty happy where he is but it was a severe pay cut too.
• The best case I heard was his HR got him a leave of absence with pay for 3 months. Followed by medical exam, that led to another 3 months. It was a union gig so very different rules.

Alot of others just quit without any word or help from the company. Also, EI doesn't kick in if you quit, only if you're laid off.

 

[LC18]

One was so miserable she told me how much she hated the job and she hated her customers.

You can think it but saying it definitely isn’t a good business move. I’ve seen a few providers making anonymous Twitter account to complain about the job. I’m happy if it works for them but I think the best would be a diary and friends in the industry.

 

[LC18]

Id add to the list of reasons SP's services decreased:
-they are hungover. I often see providers on weekends, and the amount of times a girl has told me they are hungover (this is especially common at agencies) is quite common, and it can really make for a provider who is usually really good, giving sub par service.
-providers getting a boyfriend and continuing working, I follow alot of SP's instagram accounts with my burner IG, some will get a boyfriend and then the next time I see them their service has decreased in quality.
-unhealthy lifestyle, letting themselves go
-age
-general misandry and hatred towards men.
-delusion
-not being able to keep up with their extravagant lifestyle/debt
-being bad with money/ financial illiteracy

Those are relevant but in this specific case I’m talking about my peers that don’t like their job so I would keep:

• they are hungover or intoxicated because they were stressed about coming in and needed booze to do their job
• hatred of men

 

[LC18]

I don't think most people can take a leave like this. Maybe government? I don't think that being tired or burnt out will get you short term disability or a stress leave. I know I am not eligible for that kind of a leave, but maybe most people are. But I honestly have no idea.

And not wanting to distract from the point of the thread, so carry on. It is an interesting topic.

I can do it in my other job but it’s a long process. You have to be evaluated otherwise anyone could just go on a wellness leave and go on vacation.

 

[sugarcheo69]

In the end it is a relationship, there may be times when the provider is not in the mood and I understand that, but surely they must feel bad that you go to a place to cheer yourself up and find people who are discouraged.

 

[angry anderson]

The older I get the better I was......sorry I digress. The older I get the more I wonder how any of these ladies can do what they do day in and day out. Stranger than fiction to me.

 

[westwoody]

You can think it but saying it definitely isn’t a good business move.

I discussed this with a few others. She might have been playing a sympathy card with customers she thought pliable.
It was one of my most awkward and uncomfortable experiences.

 

[Cock Throppled]

Yeah life sucks for all of us sometimes. But if you incapable of doing your job in a professional manner don’t do it. You risk permanently damaging your reputation.

And damaging your mental health. Being an SP is more difficult than most clients would believe.
Emotional and mental strains are the biggest issues. Throw in past trauma, immaturity and little life inexperience, and not many can sustain the lifestyle for long.

 

[Cock Throppled]

The older I get the better I was......sorry I digress. The older I get the more I wonder how any of these ladies can do what they do day in and day out. Stranger than fiction to me.

As a client, I try to make any encounter with an Sp as pleasureable as possible for her, beyond the physical.
I arrive on time, well-scrubbed and with a small gift. Greet her like a friend, smile, be pleasant and cheerful and jokey. Pay up front, don't push limits. I have rarely not been treated well by someone, if I treat them well. That goes for life, in general.

 

[strider65]

What would you do if you’ve noticed your ATF or a regular SP’s mood dramatically changed? Would you keep seeing her and hope she finds her mojo again?

Happened to me differently. I was texting with an SP I've seen .. just asking how she was doing. Not well it turns out. I asked if I could stop by for 5 minutes. I brought her some roses. Lots of tears and she told me what was going on. It's good to just be human with each other we are all in this together.

 

[PuntMeister]

Burned out hoes are people too, and I wish there was a better support network when the joy is gone.

Same applies to SP’s 🤪

 

[badbadboy]

I’ve encountered a few Independent SP who’ve burnt out over time. Some deal with it by taking time off and re-energizing in healthy ways. That’s great if you’re able to take the time off for self care and still meet your financial obligations.

A example of one of those dates I wished I’d never booked in the first place. The SP I visited only 2x shared that she had a few clients pull no shows and others not treat her well and she chose to download on me because I was a good client and should be understanding of her situation.

This is where I never let the small head make the decision to stay (and hope this is just blowing off steam) or cut losses and leave.

After 20 minutes the complaints now included me as well. In that time I went from a good client to one of those worthy of her anger. Shame because our first two dates were amazing.

I had enough of this BS and I left immediately. 10 years ago I might have entertained continuing the dialogue since I considered it rude to just walk out. Now it’s at the top of my own checklist when embroiled in a situation I wasn’t involved with in the first place.