Underserved Market for Lonely Guys?

[Kikoolol]

THERE ARE PLACES where you can offer to take women out on dates you know. Dating sites. Apps. Etc. Why are you looking for that here, in a place for professionals to advertise?

The main difference I see is that when you go on a paid date, you skip the initial phase of talking on the dating app (which I hate, I never know what to say, the same way it's hard for me to lead a casual conversation with people I don't really know, but 10 times harder because there's this idea of "let's try to be interesting, so she'll be interested in going on a date") and replace it with a straightforward conversation about screening, when and what. And if the provider agrees to see you, then they kinda "have to" pretend you're interesting and/or take the lead in the conversation (assuming the date includes some social aspect). (Side note, this is a huge emotional work from the provider that is often barely recognized 😞).

To be honest, I'm glad there's no such thing as "social only date for a-rate-I-could-afford-per-hour", because I feel like I would go down that route instead of working on myself.

 

[happycanuck99]

(Side note, this is a huge emotional work from the provider that is often barely recognized 😞).

I agree. As I said, it's much more "work" (emotional labor) to carry on a conversation for a couple of hours than it is, for example, to sit in a dark theater and watch a movie. That may not be universally true - I've met ladies who could talk for two hours without pausing for a breath, but I think it would apply to many people, both providers and clients.

To be honest, I'm glad there's no such thing as "social only date for a-rate-I-could-afford-per-hour", because I feel like I would go down that route instead of working on myself.

Very interesting perspective. Thanks for sharing.

 

[poonerboi]

Thanks! I also like your reference to the arrow of time.



I left 35 quite a while back. I joke now that I'm middle-aged, if I live to be over 100!



Well, by now I'm quite skeptical, but I remain hopeful. The thing is that whereas I might prefer FWB, I'd be open to the "friend zone" as well. If I could enjoy the social time with a "friend" and pay for the "benefits" with one of the lovely ladies here, that would be fine with me. But yeah, I've been around long enough to be going in with my eyes open. I still have plenty of hormones, but my big head has a little more control than it used to.



Sex with SPs has been one of my greatest pleasures of late. I can't get enough of it! And what's more is that lately I've actually found some ladies with whom it's been particularly enjoyable! If I had the funds it would be several times per week. BUT as I said, that's only meeting one of two very different and important aspects of "companionship".



Well, I guess I also tend to be a typical Canadian: fairly self-effacing. Lest you're wondering, I actually have a healthy self-esteem, and I think I know my strengths and weaknesses fairly well. After all, with the years I've accumulated and the navel-gazing I've done....

Still, I have to figure out how to make those connections, and that's what eludes me.



I like the way you think! (I mentioned violins because I assumed people would be thinking "what a sad sap!", and start playing the world's smallest violins )

https://rentafriend.com/

 

[Buddyguy66]

Great thread I think. I'm saddened but also relieved to see I'm in good company when it comes to relationships. And at 59, its not getting any easier. Recently moved from the prairies to finally follow my dream to live by the ocean. For many years I've craved the friendship of women, rarely to never men. Not sure why but for sure not being a sports follower creates a gap. I bonded a bit through motorbike riding but...getting a bad knee. For 6 years I did not date and got to the point I thought where safety was in no desire to date, for my feelings. But..a new city, a new job giving me the financial opportunity and "status enough" in a 50 to 55 yr old woman's eyes to be considered dating material helped. But after too much money spent, too many dates and brief relationships, I think I've come to believe I am open to a woman finding me but I'm tired of trying to find her. I've tried looking for an LTR, FWB and friendship only on 3 different dating sites..and I havent found what I'm looking for. In truth..I would like an LTR who first becomes a best friend. Second option FWB (they are out there, ive known a pple in them who love them but I think its rare). Just friendship is the final option..but I'm not sure it would be enough. In any case, I've found I still do want something with someone but its not getting any easier...and damn, I'm lonely most days. I know rhis post isn't going to help anyone persay. I guess its more to just say..you are not alone. I'm not alone. Keep the faith..and try to be happy. There was a point I suffered terrible depression and things got very dark lets say. After I came out the orherside I started buying a weekly $5 lottery ticket. Why? A cheap easy wayto give me something to hope for. I've been doing that without fail for 7 years. This week after so many failed dating experiences I'm going to see an SP who seems to be considered to be very compassionate after 7 yrs of not doing "that". Many things drew me to her including a sense of compassion. I was lucky enough to make what I would call "a paid fwb" and convinced myself after spending 4 or 5 situations off the clock with her (but not sexual and at her discretion and her expression of interest, not mine) that we were friends of a sort. Only to be reminded and find when my hobby money ran out, so did any interest in seeing me. That was sad..and me being naive..not her issue and I bear her no ill will and smile when I think of her and any time we had together.

Anyhew..long post..still hoping, still reading.

 

[angry anderson]

 

[Buddyguy66]

Interesting, Angry! Never have heard of that. For those who prefer to read about it:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...ng-the-rubes/201610/briffaults-law-women-rule

It jives with my marriage which in part failed I think because I became taken for granted transactionally. (Make no mistake..many reasons on both sides). But I married a woman with kids who couldnt afford to buy her kids a bottle of pop (but I didnt care about her financial status. Never have, still wouldnt in my relationships) and I paid for our good life...paid for everything. When we divorced that mattered not by law..but more so.. and what hurt, by her. I wouldnt call her a taker in the traditional sense but would have appreciated some credit given for the life I gave her and the time it bought her to get into a better career, financially fulfilling, the beautiful home I was agreeable to her getting. But as per the above, if its correct, it is transactional and in the woman's control. I find the older women get, the more obviously they are interested in whats in it for me to be with you in spite of what they may write on their dating profile. Where it gets confusing is when they are so transactional yet in the same breath say "I'm a hopeless romantic and all I want is a man to love me and I don't judge about anything". So confusing.

 

[EuroSZabina]

The main difference I see is that when you go on a paid date, you skip the initial phase of talking on the dating app (which I hate, I never know what to say, the same way it's hard for me to lead a casual conversation with people I don't really know, but 10 times harder because there's this idea of "let's try to be interesting, so she'll be interested in going on a date") and replace it with a straightforward conversation about screening, when and what. And if the provider agrees to see you, then they kinda "have to" pretend you're interesting and/or take the lead in the conversation (assuming the date includes some social aspect). (Side note, this is a huge emotional work from the provider that is often barely recognized 😞).

To be honest, I'm glad there's no such thing as "social only date for a-rate-I-could-afford-per-hour", because I feel like I would go down that route instead of working on myself.

If you are on a dating site or Escort site or any other places, always approch the person like you would be in the receiving end. How would you like to be approched, what would you like to hear if you where the woman, what is that you would not want to hear.

 

[Buddyguy66]

Yet in both cases..don't be fake (but be respectful and polite). Some people are very good at faking those, mind.

 

[burnabyguy5]

If your looking for a relationship, hiring a service provider is not the way to do this. Women provide service for money they are not putting themselves on sale for sex to seek a relationship. If your lonely, a transactional encounter is not the way to find a relationship. You have to get your head around what pooning is, it is not a replacement for a relationship.

 

[Buddyguy66]

Agree..Yet here we are with probably as many men seeking time with an SP for emotional and companionship needs as those simply for a quality sexual experience. (Or just to get their rocks off🙂) Need a poll.

 

[happycanuck99]

https://rentafriend.com/

Oh fascinating! I was not aware of this. I'll be checking it out.

Thanks a lot!

 

[happycanuck99]

I wouldn't necessarily disagree, but it seems far too cynical to me. I still prefer to see the world through my "rose colored glasses".

 

[Buddyguy66]

I wouldn't necessarily disagree, but it seems far too cynical to me. I still prefer to see the world through my "rose colored glasses".

Clearly he went through a messy breakup😉

 

[angry anderson]

I wouldn't necessarily disagree, but it seems far too cynical to me. I still prefer to see the world through my "rose colored glasses".

Your choice. But look where it got you.
Screamingly obvious. Seems like Reality 101. Should be taught in grade school.
Red Pill all the way.

 

[stickdoctor]

The lesson I have taken from this thread and the female responses is I definitely made the right choice when I made a conscious decision to check out from the dating game.
Past a certain age for males, it’s a rigged game designed to do nothing but separate us from our money.
At least this way, most of the time, I get a bang out of my buck.

 

[Buddyguy66]

The lesson I have taken from this thread and the female responses is I definitely made the right choice when I made a conscious decision to check out from the dating game.
Past a certain age for males, it’s a rigged game designed to do nothing but separate us from our money.
At least this way, most of the time, I get a bang out of my buck.

I have literally had to tell a few women on dates that I didnt want their money. Oddly enough they did not say the same😀

 

[AMG-GTR]

Interesting, Angry! Never have heard of that. For those who prefer to read about it:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...ng-the-rubes/201610/briffaults-law-women-rule

Oh the irony. Woman complain that men aren’t romantic and to be candid, most men aren’t unless they are in pursuit. Men complain woman are too critical or uneventful in bed, woman tend to be this way when in persuit.

A friend of mine who is a relationship psychologist with about 3 decades of experience says it’s the 3 to 1 rule. A man needs to put in about 3 times as much effort/work compared to a woman in a relationship in order for the relationship to “work”.

It sort of comes down to the “what have you done for me lately?” comment in the article.

In my experience, the woman is the one that makes the call on the relationship. Even in this world of equality this is why it’s the mans fault instantly when it comes to issues with physical consent.

To be clear, I’m rolling my eyes because the word equality is so misused that it’s lost whatever merits it once stood for. I will be clear that I very much support equality


I’m not anti relationship at all; however commitment kills the process of being on your best behaviour because there is this sense of comfort. Comfort is the killer of everything. From business to sports to a professional talent to relationships.

For the most part, the competitive game doesn’t end with “I do”. If you’re desirable to another person, it’s natural to gravitate towards them.

I’m not saying this to bash on woman, it’s biological. If men could, they would be fucking whatever whenever they want. It’s doesn’t mean they want to, but generally if there was no consequence at all, I think most of us would accept a free blow job now and again.

Females, despite the feminist movement, generally are looking for a provider. That doesn’t end after someone gets together. I always tell myself that no matter what my age, I need to be on top of my game.

This is why I harp on being successful in business, inter-personal skills. Being connected and involved in society, being in great shape and healthy. Up on necessary current events etc.

Woman, and also men, are often intrigued by those that work on themselves and have achievements and can stand on their own in some way. Woman can still be sweet and kind and also brutal. So can men.

We are no different from animals. To think otherwise is foolishness.

 

[AMG-GTR]

The game isn’t rigged. That is the game. I don’t hate on woman for it either. A woman is entitled to work her ass off, make money and take care of me if she wants.

The thing is, is that I wouldn’t be okay with it. I take great pride in my success and that success has deep meaning.

Back to the OP.

If you need the company of a woman, that’s normal but I think men need to get back to learning to be comfortable with themselves.

I love people and I’m a very social man however I’m also very comfortable in my own space if I have to be. I have so much that I love to do and I love my male friends.

I believe the biggest reason why I have so many female friends is because I’m very comfortable in my own space. I don’t expect anything from them. If they want to be around and join me, great. If not, also great! I have my own happy and interesting life... when I’m not forced in quarantine and stuck posting here

 

[Buddyguy66]

That is an interesting article but wouldn't it be stupid not to question these things before getting into a relationship?

"Other types of gain might be social status, sexual compatibility, anticipated future happiness, emotional security, and the male’s capacity for fatherhood. Men, put that in your pipe and smoke it."

Shouldn't good sex, future happiness, emotional security and a women's capacity for motherhood (if they want kids) be questions men ask themselves before getting into a relationship as well? I feel like all are qualities of a healthy relationship, not crazy outlandish ideals you put on a potential mate. As for social status/hypergamy, I think dating someone on your level or who can make your life easier if you are together is also a smart move. Partnership should make your life equally as good or better, not worse. If it's worse, it's a mistake.

Hell...you think we are THAT smart?😉 I've just recently started asking dates if they are night owls or early risers! (realized me and a night owl don't stand a chance in a relationship!)

 

[Buddyguy66]

I am sorry but you guys are complaining that women want something from you if you spend time together.... love and commitment or money.

While also stating you want something from women if you spend time together... comfort and sex with no commitment.

Get a grip... it's exactly the same! Just different wants/needs/timelines... women want forever, guys want a couple hours and no one wants to feel used. So people tend to just isolate from the opposite sex and stay frustrated.

@happycanuck99

Social dates are common, but not they kind you want and your expectation that the cost of the ticket/meal should come out of the donation is unheard of. You are better leaving professionals out of it, you don't understand social dates in this world.

You want a friend... go look on Match, Eharmony etc. If you aren't getting the responses you want maybe ask if she needs help paying bills. I think that's the only way you will find girls who are interested in your arrangement.

I am constantly surprised when I hear what some men expect from an SP and are surprised at the response . (I've heard this about meals, drinks, hell..gas to drive to an SP's incall, before. I actually know of an instance when a sales guy asked for a receipt so he could expense his rendevous with an SP.