cheating on my regular and asking for reference, opinions please.

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steverino

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Feb 15, 2004
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I am personally unlikely to do it as it risks putting the relationship in an awkward position and I don't want to get in a conversation as to why I am seeking another service. Yes, I understand that the industry/hobby is meant to offer variety and there is clearly no expectation of monogamy. It's just that I engage in the hobby for a stress free experience and avoid the possibility of the discomfort associated with asking a lady I have seen on a very regular basis for a reference. I haven't thought about it much but it might be easier to ask someone who I had only seen once but my guess is that I wouldn't do that either. If it meant I could not see a specific new lady I could live with that. I respect a great deal those ladies who have responded with the perspective that providing references supports the safety of others in the community, that is a great approach.
 

Oslo

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Ladies and gentlemen thanks to all for ur opinions.

I have messaged my regular this morning and waiting to hear back. knowing she can be busy. how long should I wait before I check in with her about it again if she has not responded back? treading carefully my message was something like this, changed a few minor details to protect the providers involved not all want their stuff out there.

"hello beautiful (insert name), I was wondering if it is ok to put ur name down as reference. I wanted to visit a provider who is from venus and ive never been with a venetian. in no way am I unhappy with u. I adore u. thank u for ur time, regards Oslo"
 

uncleg

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Ms Erica Phoenix

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In Your Wildest Dreams!
Ladies and gentlemen thanks to all for ur opinions.

I have messaged my regular this morning and waiting to hear back. knowing she can be busy. how long should I wait before I check in with her about it again if she has not responded back? treading carefully my message was something like this, changed a few minor details to protect the providers involved not all want their stuff out there.

"hello beautiful (insert name), I was wondering if it is ok to put ur name down as reference. I wanted to visit a provider who is from venus and ive never been with a venetian. in no way am I unhappy with u. I adore u. thank u for ur time, regards Oslo"
Perfect...
 

uncleg

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Jul 25, 2006
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Perfect...
I don't know about that.....I would have left out the "in no way am I unhappy with u" part.....who was it that said..."the man doest protest to much methinks"
 

felixthecat

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Aug 28, 2011
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I had a duo with someone, who's client then became my client for quite a while, and didn't go back to her.
You didn't mention what happened with your duo partner. There was a story just like that in Secret Diary Of A Call Girl, S1E5. It ended up with Belle losing her first long-term regular, and losing her duo partner friend as well. Nobody did anything wrong or unprofessional, yet it seems natural feelings can get hurt.

I have messaged my regular this morning and waiting to hear back. knowing she can be busy. how long should I wait before I check in with her about it again if she has not responded back? treading carefully my message was something like this, changed a few minor details to protect the providers involved not all want their stuff out there.

"hello beautiful (insert name), I was wondering if it is ok to put ur name down as reference. I wanted to visit a provider who is from venus and ive never been with a venetian. in no way am I unhappy with u. I adore u. thank u for ur time, regards Oslo"
I don't think you have to explain, but ok. Good luck, that should do. Unless your regular is secretly from Venus too, which will make your excuse invalid in her eyes. I'd be wary of bringing it up 2nd time. If she's determined to act professionally, she'll reply without reminders and quickly. No reply increases the chance she doesn't want to share.
 

sybian

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Dec 23, 2014
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Kamloops B.C.
I don't want to take credit for Elsi's eloquence, despite agreeing with her every word.
Hey don't look at me! I'm just over here with my popcorn!
Fresh popped or some foofoo flavoured supermarket bagged chemical spill. ???
You two are enjoying this aren't you?.....watching Sy squirm a little.
Yeah ,well I ain't scared of Elsie.....although I happen to know she can handle herself in a bar fight, and she might be smarter, ....this isn't going well.


( Man this ones gonna hurt )
 

ElsiDawson

Slutty slut
Nov 5, 2016
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You two are enjoying this aren't you?.....watching Sy squirm a little.
Yeah ,well I ain't scared of Elsie.....although I happen to know she can handle herself in a bar fight, and she might be smarter, ....this isn't going well.


( Man this ones gonna hurt )
I've never even been in a bar fight! ...that I haven't won.

Got asked today twice to be a reference and damn, makes me feel so good to get all those juicy stories afterwards. Sending off my clients to be foot soldiers to check out other ladies I might wanna duo with. Muahahhaa!
 

DarkTrancendence

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Feb 10, 2019
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any of u feel hesitant to ask ur regular for a reference. feeling as if I am cheating on her or worse yet she may have her feelings hurt. though never indicated to me this was not ok or ok. now it is not a case of one and done or my regular needs replacing. providers have do a service and have feelings too and I do not want to mess up the great harmony we have. just want to taste a different flavor so to say.

not an expert pooner and my first time asking for a reference. provider I am attempting to see requires a reference, deposit not option. even still if I ever do want to see anyone else and need a reference. is there a kind and respectful way to go about it. am I wrong for feeling this way.

thoughts.
LoL I've just started out, and have met an SP for the first time over a month ago. So far its the only one I have been seeing, I feel the same way LoL It is kinda weird, it feels like if I went to see another I feel the same as the OP LoL I don't know why, but just naturally I guess. Maybe because the chemistry and the trust we have with each other, and myself being afraid of being let down or scammed by another perhaps, but I feel really connected to her, even though that is their job which you are paying for... its just hard for me to seek out another, but I am humble with just this SP atm... she fulfills my needs so that's all I need for the time being! :)
 

sybian

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Dec 23, 2014
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I've never even been in a bar fight! ...that I haven't won.

Got asked today twice to be a reference and damn, makes me feel so good to get all those juicy stories afterwards. Sending off my clients to be foot soldiers to check out other ladies I might wanna duo with. Muahahhaa!
I've never been in a Barfight either.....yeah ,let's go with that today.
You've gotta admit, the chances of me actually catching a grammar mistake is astronomical ....so thanks for letting me have my moment.
I can honestly say ,it would most likely never happen again in my lifetime.....which brings up the fact why very few people ever ask me for references, after they work for me.
It probably wouldn't go over well if you handed a reference to a potential employer that says ...
" He will answer to the name ' Hey Shithead!' ,he doesn't drink on the job when he works with me, which is quite responsible, considering the fact that his employer does at times....and please excuse the fact that this reference is written in blue crayon, but I did write it very slowly....so you can understand."
 

uncleg

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Jul 25, 2006
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ElsiDawson;1969503[B said:
]I've never even been in a bar fight! ...that I haven't won. [/B]

Got asked today twice to be a reference and damn, makes me feel so good to get all those juicy stories afterwards. Sending off my clients to be foot soldiers to check out other ladies I might wanna duo with. Muahahhaa!

But Numbers doesn't count....Fountainhead maybe, but not Twink Central....:biggrin1:
 

sybian

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Dec 23, 2014
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Kamloops B.C.
I am enjoying it quite a lot, yes...
Well good...I'm happy that I can provide some entertainment for you.
You know me well enough by now ,to know that I'm smiling.
Watch this.......

Hey Elsi!
I'm building a new round pen to hold my calves.....should I use round rails ,or boards?
Also, do you know a good designer that can draw one up for me?
It should be about 70 feet across with a chute and two opposing exits.....any thoughts?
 

jgg

In the air again.
Apr 14, 2015
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Varies now
Well good...I'm happy that I can provide some entertainment for you.
You know me well enough by now ,to know that I'm smiling.
Watch this.......

Hey Elsi!
I'm building a new round pen to hold my calves.....should I use round rails ,or boards?
Also, do you know a good designer that can draw one up for me?
It should be about 70 feet across with a chute and two opposing exits.....any thoughts?
Do want a crowding tub and palpation cage with that too?
 

ElsiDawson

Slutty slut
Nov 5, 2016
483
19
18
Vancouver, BC
Well good...I'm happy that I can provide some entertainment for you.
You know me well enough by now ,to know that I'm smiling.
Watch this.......

Hey Elsi!
I'm building a new round pen to hold my calves.....should I use round rails ,or boards?
Also, do you know a good designer that can draw one up for me?
It should be about 70 feet across with a chute and two opposing exits.....any thoughts?
It's probably not worth the hassle of messing with pretreated wood up in your climate. I'd go split rails, pin it together, and save your sanity. I could draw it up for you; it's pretty straight forward. You're looking at about 220 odd feet of railing, less gates and posts (depending on how many points you want/how long you want your lengths to be/rigitity. Get some latches and hinges, maybe wiring if that makes you feel better (but I probably wouldn't bother).

How far off am I?
 

felixthecat

Well-known member
Aug 28, 2011
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You've gotta admit, the chances of me actually catching a grammar mistake is astronomical
While we are at it, I question your use of "astronomical".

Astronomical normally means "extremely large".
The expression is "astronomical odds", as in 1 billion to 1 odds for something very unlikely.

High odds correspond to low chances, and vice versa.
So "astronomical chances" does not make much sense.

How far off am I?
You are all pretty far off from the topic. Great thread hijacking team, if I ever need one.
 

felixthecat

Well-known member
Aug 28, 2011
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LoL I've just started out, and have met an SP for the first time over a month ago. So far its the only one I have been seeing, I feel the same way LoL It is kinda weird, it feels like if I went to see another I feel the same as the OP
My advice, do explore as it's a slightly different situation. At least occasionally, say see your SP 3 times and then see somebody new. You may be lacking a baseline for comparison (as hard as it is to believe, she may be not as good as some other SPs out there). More importantly, you want to prevent unhealthy attachment and stress when your regular eventually won't be available. It is a very real trap when you are new.
 
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