Good day my fellow perberts...
To tell this story I’m afraid I’m going to have to start from the very beginning. OR, I could go Tarrentino style and start 2/3 through, then to the near end, then 1/3 through, over to the middle with a little foreshadowing, hit up the beginning and... ummm... then you, uhhhh, take a left at the McDonald’s, go about 10.... wait, what the hell was I talking about?
Oh yeah.
So there I was, cruising through the LeoList ads the other day on my coffee break (is it sad that my life consists of nothing but work and my ever expanding network of LeoList advertisers?) and I come across an ad that I found VERY compelling. Normally I would post a link, but the ad is gone. It was a younger girl from a now forgotten European country. She was proclaiming that it was her last night in town. Now, there’s something you need to know about the Ol’ Tester here for this to be in crystal clear clarified consistent context, capice? I’m just gonna put this right here, if anyone picks it up and has some info to share, great, if not, well, at least I was honest... I LIKE A LITTLE GRASS ON MY PLAYGROUND, DAMNIT!!! I don’t necessarily miss the days where foreplay was 20 mins of parting what seemed like the Amazon Rainforest in search of the Pearl of Pleasure, and that’s assuming you didn’t come across any tribes of pigmies living in there or scare out some endangered species of bird and have the whole thing shut down. Ok, so that’s a slight exaggeration, but yes, I am old enough to remember both sex and porn before shaving was the thing to do. You always knew who just got some at a house party because when a guy and girl suddenly emerged from nowhere the girl was picking short and curlies out of her mouth for 5 minutes. Alas, I digress, point is that I enjoy a strip, a triangle or better yet, a near full, but manicured, patch, nicely trimmed and groomed. So this chick had one. In her pics, that is. She swore up and down they were recent pics and nothing has changed. On my way to see her I stumble upon this, almost by accident:
https://www.leolist.cc/personals/fe...rve_to_be_spoiled_so_let_s_meet_daddy-4400154
You may not agree with my views on gardening, but I’m fairly certain that the majority of you will agree with me when I say... “Butt stuff is fucking awesome”. So I shoot this chick a message to find out rates. She responds with a location and rates. “What in the wide world of lactating lesbian porn...?”, is what I ask myself. I’ll be damned if it isn’t the same address. Does anyone else find this odd? So I ask them both if they do duos. No. I tell the one I’m seeing that there’s another young girl at the same address. I saw no harm in this. I’m going to see an escort, not a damned date, ffs! Well she gets mad, demands to know if I’m coming to see her, or the other girl. She doesn’t know the other girl. Bla, bla, bla. I play it cool... mission successful. So I arrive. She finally lets me in. I can’t understand a word she’s saying. Recent pics my autistic Aunt Alice! The butt... doubled. The face... aged. The teeth... would you call blackened nubs teeth? And pale as death. This chick looked like she had spent the last year and a half at the business end of a crack pipe. So a little blaski, blaski, blaski later and she suddenly feels satisfied that she’s informed me enough about her love for hot sauce and spicy food. In retrospect, was this chick a zombie? Seattle isn’t far... Anyway, she drops her knickers and guess what... smooth. The memory of photos of a nicely trimmed piece of natural fairway were all that remained of what should have been a protected green space. Short story long, I got her squirting and screaming and it’s all good then suddenly she’s too sensitive. She sits on her phone while I get her off once more and now it’s game over. Still time left on the clock, but the game is called on the account of lame. I complain about the situation. Her quick agreeances only reinforce my belief that she understands me as well as I understand her.
And now, my friends, for the point of this review...
As I walk out I text thing 2. There’s some slight shrubbery, and goddamn! those fingers all up in there and what have ya... mmm MMMM! Did I mention that I was maybe a minute away from lift off when Euro Cracka shut me down? Well I’m ready. She’s ready. Let’s get the apartment number and have at it, I say! I got outside for a bit of the cancer when she texts back “You just say no to my friend”. Beg pardon? I obviously assume it’s something to do with the other chick, but what she’s trying to say I don’t know. I round up all the linguistical communication and grammatical skill sets I can muster and hit her with the very best response that I can articulate... “what?”. No response. I wait. I leave. I get home.
Hours later...
I ask a few more ‘but why’s?’. Finally I get a response. Now if you found the first one confusing, this will fuck your mind right up... “Lo saves por k”, followed immediately by the customary “???? dale”.
And that’s my story. I’d like to thank those of you who stuck it out to the end. Have a good night and happy hunting.
And remember, it’s not the face you fuck, but the fuck you face.
To tell this story I’m afraid I’m going to have to start from the very beginning. OR, I could go Tarrentino style and start 2/3 through, then to the near end, then 1/3 through, over to the middle with a little foreshadowing, hit up the beginning and... ummm... then you, uhhhh, take a left at the McDonald’s, go about 10.... wait, what the hell was I talking about?
Oh yeah.
So there I was, cruising through the LeoList ads the other day on my coffee break (is it sad that my life consists of nothing but work and my ever expanding network of LeoList advertisers?) and I come across an ad that I found VERY compelling. Normally I would post a link, but the ad is gone. It was a younger girl from a now forgotten European country. She was proclaiming that it was her last night in town. Now, there’s something you need to know about the Ol’ Tester here for this to be in crystal clear clarified consistent context, capice? I’m just gonna put this right here, if anyone picks it up and has some info to share, great, if not, well, at least I was honest... I LIKE A LITTLE GRASS ON MY PLAYGROUND, DAMNIT!!! I don’t necessarily miss the days where foreplay was 20 mins of parting what seemed like the Amazon Rainforest in search of the Pearl of Pleasure, and that’s assuming you didn’t come across any tribes of pigmies living in there or scare out some endangered species of bird and have the whole thing shut down. Ok, so that’s a slight exaggeration, but yes, I am old enough to remember both sex and porn before shaving was the thing to do. You always knew who just got some at a house party because when a guy and girl suddenly emerged from nowhere the girl was picking short and curlies out of her mouth for 5 minutes. Alas, I digress, point is that I enjoy a strip, a triangle or better yet, a near full, but manicured, patch, nicely trimmed and groomed. So this chick had one. In her pics, that is. She swore up and down they were recent pics and nothing has changed. On my way to see her I stumble upon this, almost by accident:
https://www.leolist.cc/personals/fe...rve_to_be_spoiled_so_let_s_meet_daddy-4400154
You may not agree with my views on gardening, but I’m fairly certain that the majority of you will agree with me when I say... “Butt stuff is fucking awesome”. So I shoot this chick a message to find out rates. She responds with a location and rates. “What in the wide world of lactating lesbian porn...?”, is what I ask myself. I’ll be damned if it isn’t the same address. Does anyone else find this odd? So I ask them both if they do duos. No. I tell the one I’m seeing that there’s another young girl at the same address. I saw no harm in this. I’m going to see an escort, not a damned date, ffs! Well she gets mad, demands to know if I’m coming to see her, or the other girl. She doesn’t know the other girl. Bla, bla, bla. I play it cool... mission successful. So I arrive. She finally lets me in. I can’t understand a word she’s saying. Recent pics my autistic Aunt Alice! The butt... doubled. The face... aged. The teeth... would you call blackened nubs teeth? And pale as death. This chick looked like she had spent the last year and a half at the business end of a crack pipe. So a little blaski, blaski, blaski later and she suddenly feels satisfied that she’s informed me enough about her love for hot sauce and spicy food. In retrospect, was this chick a zombie? Seattle isn’t far... Anyway, she drops her knickers and guess what... smooth. The memory of photos of a nicely trimmed piece of natural fairway were all that remained of what should have been a protected green space. Short story long, I got her squirting and screaming and it’s all good then suddenly she’s too sensitive. She sits on her phone while I get her off once more and now it’s game over. Still time left on the clock, but the game is called on the account of lame. I complain about the situation. Her quick agreeances only reinforce my belief that she understands me as well as I understand her.
And now, my friends, for the point of this review...
As I walk out I text thing 2. There’s some slight shrubbery, and goddamn! those fingers all up in there and what have ya... mmm MMMM! Did I mention that I was maybe a minute away from lift off when Euro Cracka shut me down? Well I’m ready. She’s ready. Let’s get the apartment number and have at it, I say! I got outside for a bit of the cancer when she texts back “You just say no to my friend”. Beg pardon? I obviously assume it’s something to do with the other chick, but what she’s trying to say I don’t know. I round up all the linguistical communication and grammatical skill sets I can muster and hit her with the very best response that I can articulate... “what?”. No response. I wait. I leave. I get home.
Hours later...
I ask a few more ‘but why’s?’. Finally I get a response. Now if you found the first one confusing, this will fuck your mind right up... “Lo saves por k”, followed immediately by the customary “???? dale”.
And that’s my story. I’d like to thank those of you who stuck it out to the end. Have a good night and happy hunting.
And remember, it’s not the face you fuck, but the fuck you face.
