marrying a working girl

[chitown]

Wow, I didn't mean to make so much controversy on numbers. I didn't really put much thought into, just picked a few numbers that I thought were in the ballpark. Perhaps the 5k was high, lets half it to 2.5 for argument sake. So now the odds whatever they may be of bumping into a ex with someone that has had 20 partners to someone that has 2500 partners I think is less.

In Vancouver, which has a population of 631,486 according to the 2016 census? About 0.0039%

I'm not really nitpicking your numbers here though. I was more making fun of the fact that you seem to have some kind of magic number threshold that you consider unacceptable. What exactly is it about this scenario that you find so terrifying? Is it the idea that someone specifically in your social circle, maybe a friend or coworker, having seen the SP that you're with? Because really the odds of bumping into someone out of the blue is not that high, and even if it did happen do you really expect the lady to turn to you and say: "Hey, you see that guy there? I totally banged him."

 

[Miss*Bijou]

It's interesting. I find it's something I've been struggling with in my dating life. I am not currently working as a full time sp and have not for 3 years. I have had a 'normal' day job for sometime but I've only recently decided to get back into 'civilian' dating.

I have met one guy who was super open and non judgemental and I felt comfortable talking about my past. But aside from him, I've found that most men would not be able to deal with it. This leaves me the option of hiding it and hoping it never comes out in some unexpected way but I'm really not into that option for a few reasons. 1) I think it sucks to start off a relationship already lying 2) the stress of having it come out but there's also the fact that 3) I feel that, while it is not who I am (just as my current job isn't), it is very much a part of me.

It has affected my perspectives, views and attitudes about a wide range of things. In an ideal situation where the other person is not judgemental, I think it's an important part of my life that I don't want to have to lie about. When I was an sp, I wondered how I would feel after I retired. Would I regret it, and most importantly, would I be ashamed. The truth is I have no regrets and don't feel ashamed at all. But the world around me expects me to feel shame and to keep it a secret.

Most of my friends are very aware of my past work and they are fine with it but as they are all men, they continually tell me not to reveal it to men I date. The thing is, It makes me less interested about getting to know someone better in a romantic way, knowing I can't talk about it. I guess it's just turning into a 'must have' in order for me to see any potential with someone. It makes me feel like there's no real future if I can't be honest about that part of my life. But it really limits my options!

It's frustrating because my beliefs about relationships, monogamy, honesty etc are all super influenced by my years, experiences and observations as an sp. It's hard to find people who share my views and are open about it.. I actually think it makes me a better person than I would have been in many ways. I don't want to have to pretend I'm someone I am not

Does anyone else ever feel that way? Am I placing too much importance on this?

Anyway, my 2 cents.. Lol

 

[UhOh]

It's interesting. I find it's something I've been struggling with in my dating life. I am not currently working as a full time sp and have not for 3 years. I have had a 'normal' day job for sometime but I've only recently decided to get back into 'civilian' dating.

I have met one guy who was super open and non judgemental and I felt comfortable talking about my past. But aside from him, I've found that most men would not be able to deal with it. This leaves me the option of hiding it and hoping it never comes out in some unexpected way but I'm really not into that option for a few reasons. 1) I think it sucks to start off a relationship already lying 2) the stress of having it come out but there's also the fact that 3) I feel that, while it is not who I am (just as my current job isn't), it is very much a part of me.

It has affected my perspectives, views and attitudes about a wide range of things. In an ideal situation where the other person is not judgemental, I think it's an important part of my life that I don't want to have to lie about. When I was an sp, I wondered how I would feel after I retired. Would I regret it, and most importantly, would I be ashamed. The truth is I have no regrets and don't feel ashamed at all. But the world around me expects me to feel shame and to keep it a secret.

Most of my friends are very aware of my past work and they are fine with it but as they are all men, they continually tell me not to reveal it to men I date. The thing is, It makes me less interested about getting serious with someone, knowing I can't talk about it. I guess it's just turning into a 'must have' in order for me to see any potential with someone. It makes me feel like there's no real future if I can't be honest about that part of my life. But it really limits my options!

It's frustrating because my beliefs about relationships, monogamy, honesty etc are all super influenced by my years, experiences and observations as an sp. It's hard to find people who share my views and are open about it.. I actually think it makes me a better person than I would have been in many ways. I don't want to have to pretend I'm someone I am not

Does anyone else ever feel that way? Am I placing too much importance on this?

Anyway, my 2 cents.. Lol

I like your attitude on the matter. Hiding your past will put limits on how happy you can be and probably indicate you are in a relationship with the wrong person. Life is too short for that.

 

[BIGOZZIE]

It's interesting. I find it's something I've been struggling with in my dating life. I am not currently working as a full time sp and have not for 3 years. I have had a 'normal' day job for sometime but I've only recently decided to get back into 'civilian' dating.

I have met one guy who was super open and non judgemental and I felt comfortable talking about my past. But aside from him, I've found that most men would not be able to deal with it. This leaves me the option of hiding it and hoping it never comes out in some unexpected way but I'm really not into that option for a few reasons. 1) I think it sucks to start off a relationship already lying 2) the stress of having it come out but there's also the fact that 3) I feel that, while it is not who I am (just as my current job isn't), it is very much a part of me.

It has affected my perspectives, views and attitudes about a wide range of things. In an ideal situation where the other person is not judgemental, I think it's an important part of my life that I don't want to have to lie about. When I was an sp, I wondered how I would feel after I retired. Would I regret it, and most importantly, would I be ashamed. The truth is I have no regrets and don't feel ashamed at all. But the world around me expects me to feel shame and to keep it a secret.

Most of my friends are very aware of my past work and they are fine with it but as they are all men, they continually tell me not to reveal it to men I date. The thing is, It makes me less interested about getting serious with someone, knowing I can't talk about it. I guess it's just turning into a 'must have' in order for me to see any potential with someone. It makes me feel like there's no real future if I can't be honest about that part of my life. But it really limits my options!

It's frustrating because my beliefs about relationships, monogamy, honesty etc are all super influenced by my years, experiences and observations as an sp. It's hard to find people who share my views and are open about it.. I actually think it makes me a better person than I would have been in many ways. I don't want to have to pretend I'm someone I am not

Does anyone else ever feel that way? Am I placing too much importance on this?

Anyway, my 2 cents.. Lol

I've never been bothered by a ladies past and have dated a few. There is decidedly a different feeling however if she continues working while dating. Circumspection is very important.

 

[jamasianman]

Again though, I have to reiterate that 90 percent or more of civilian guys will react differently. Anyone on this board or who poons or is a bit more liberated about sex will be fine with a provider's past. But the rest may take it the wrong way. And you'll never know unless you tell them. If its a big thing and you feel like you are hiding something then tell them. If not then don't. All people are very different and you won't know how accepting they are. If you were a guy, and did jail time for carjacking or something relatively minor, would you tell an So you were getting serious with? Would he or she treat/look at you differently from then on? Because that is the reality of coming forward with your past. The same can go for pooning. Some civilian women may not be able to handle it.

 

[Miss*Bijou]

I understand the point you're making however car jacking does not come close to comparing to most men's thoughts about their so having been intimate with dozens or more of men for money. For most people, it isn't something minor at all. It's just too much to handle. And you also want to be careful about who you end up telling. Making a mistake about trusting a person with that information can seriously come back to bite you in the ass later if they decide to out you somehow. It's really tricky. I'm still hopeful it's out there lol

 

[gran_torino]

I understand the point you're making however car jacking does not come close to comparing to most men's thoughts about their so having been intimate with dozens or more of men for money. For most people, it isn't something minor at all. It's just too much to handle. And you also want to be careful about who you end up telling. Making a mistake about trusting a person with that information can seriously come back to bite you in the ass later if they decide to out you somehow. It's really tricky. I'm still hopeful it's out there lol

Id say keep being honest. If you believe in monogamy or want that tell them. Alls you can do is be honest ànd earn trust over time. But id expect to have a hard time finding a partner in crime while remaining in the business. I wouldnt say impossible but definitely gonna be tough.

 

[masterblaster]

I know an escort that I would marry, however her time of being an escort had left her so emotionally damaged it seems she can longer have a normal relationship. She has suffered abuse at the hands of some and no longer seems to trust of desire men. A shame really how her life has turned out.

 

[whistlerboi]

If I were ever to get into another LTR it would likely have to be with a lady who has sex the way Sensual Practitioners do. Open, fun, honest and enthusiastically. Have been married to a prude for way too long. For that matter, I'd be totally interested in seeing an SP as a friend, fuckbuddy, FwB, etc. What's not to love about a lady who loves dick? :love_heart:

 

[sevenofnine]

like someone said on another thread, you shouldn't ask questions you don't want to or can't bear to hear the answers to
you shouldn't lie, that is no way for a relationship, but things should be left in the past, there in the past over done

I think someone should accept that, and deal with the person there facing not what someone was like years ago.

being close to an sp, for many years,
I have often thought of her and me as a couple, we have even talked about it.

my thoughts about her and me,
we both need to live and experience more of life what it has to offer,
in short her and me are not there yet,

her words,
we both are carrying to much baggage,

its interesting
I think in a perfect world I would not be seeing escorts,
and in a preferct world she wouldn't be an escort.

so were both flawed,
I think for love. you have to find it in yourself first,
the more flawed your concept of love is, the more flawed your love will be

an interesting article on peoples regrets in life,
not being there true self ranks the highest.

I think love is like that your idea of love is flawed your self love is flawed, that is the kind of love your going to find,

love is hard under the best of circumstances. imagine what it is like where were all fucked up.

strange but I had to see escorts to appreciate my family my life my wife.
see how flawed my understanding my perception of everything was,

I think you have to live and the courage to live,
fuck up get up and fuck up again.
hopefully you learn.

I ranted on some guy hiding behind his shrink,
I think that is the reason why I was banned,
not really sure though

but there is truth and reality
and reality is very illusive we make excuses blame others, etc etc, filled with stupid desires, don't have our eye on the ball,
a shrink said one of the easiest ways to get screwed up is have a false sense of reality, your perceptions of events and things is wrong.

the only way to understand is to get out there and live,
get knocked down and get back up and keep going.

I think love is like that, its flawed its screwed up
but if we keep going long enough, we will get it right,

 

[HornyGandalfREDUX]

It's interesting. I find it's something I've been struggling with in my dating life. I am not currently working as a full time sp and have not for 3 years. I have had a 'normal' day job for sometime but I've only recently decided to get back into 'civilian' dating.

I have met one guy who was super open and non judgemental and I felt comfortable talking about my past. But aside from him, I've found that most men would not be able to deal with it. This leaves me the option of hiding it and hoping it never comes out in some unexpected way but I'm really not into that option for a few reasons. 1) I think it sucks to start off a relationship already lying 2) the stress of having it come out but there's also the fact that 3) I feel that, while it is not who I am (just as my current job isn't), it is very much a part of me.

It has affected my perspectives, views and attitudes about a wide range of things. In an ideal situation where the other person is not judgemental, I think it's an important part of my life that I don't want to have to lie about. When I was an sp, I wondered how I would feel after I retired. Would I regret it, and most importantly, would I be ashamed. The truth is I have no regrets and don't feel ashamed at all. But the world around me expects me to feel shame and to keep it a secret.

Most of my friends are very aware of my past work and they are fine with it but as they are all men, they continually tell me not to reveal it to men I date. The thing is, It makes me less interested about getting to know someone better in a romantic way, knowing I can't talk about it. I guess it's just turning into a 'must have' in order for me to see any potential with someone. It makes me feel like there's no real future if I can't be honest about that part of my life. But it really limits my options!

It's frustrating because my beliefs about relationships, monogamy, honesty etc are all super influenced by my years, experiences and observations as an sp. It's hard to find people who share my views and are open about it.. I actually think it makes me a better person than I would have been in many ways. I don't want to have to pretend I'm someone I am not

Does anyone else ever feel that way? Am I placing too much importance on this?

Anyway, my 2 cents.. Lol

It is a difficult one, but I think you are right to be both cautious, but needing someone who can accept this. It is part of who you are, but shouldn't define who you are. So, finding someone who is mature, open-minded and non-judgemental is very important. And there are a lot of men who just aren't there (and never will be). But, that is not true of everyone. You need to stick with your expectations. Date men to get to know them, and then cautiously open up little bits of information without revealing info that would be damaging to you. Maybe create stories about 'a friend' or something to get a feel for your date/friends opinions and whether they are judgemental. Maybe talk about a 'male friend' of yours who is dating an SP. Ask him what he thinks about that? Tease out the information in a roundabout way, and in time it will be clearer as to whether you can trust him with revealing more of your past. Take it slow. Have the ideas directed away from you and see how he responds.

I have had problems with people finding out about some of my activities and the judgementalism that has gone with that. It has also helped show who are my real friends and who isn't.

 

[Regan Azazel]

???? It would be a dream to marry the vegan escort! ❤?

 

[Jchalmers]

Removed due to request.

 

[EuroSZabina]

Don't get married period. Working girl or not why getting married these days I just really don't get it.

 

[Addison Cortez]

Don't get married period. Working girl or not why getting married these days I just really don't get it.

some people are just wired that way, sort of like you aren't....

 

[Crookedmember]

some people are just wired that way, sort of like you aren't....

I can count all of the couples I know who are still married after 10 years on my testicles. Three.

Marriage doesn't work anymore. It's an idea whose time has gone.

 

[sevenofnine]

it is defiantly a lot to do with the way your wired,
I mean home family, I come home every night to a hot meal, lights on etc,
the dog is the happy one to see me, but that is a dog for you
but its nice,

I would see myself a failure coming home to a empty house,
a failure that no one wanted to be with me,

it has a lot to do with selfishness
and finding happiness,
I mean people are way to fucking selfish and self centered,
and I think people think happiness is money, or a beautiful partner, and or lots of sex.

sex with a beautiful women well comes down to throwing some paper at her,

there is a lot more to happiness then fucking or a big car and house,
people have that and fight constantly

I think in part its me, I sang a song to my kids this morning, phoned them up and started singing
life is the little things.

like I said I would see myself as a complete failure if I didn't have family,
I know being where I am, seems strange,

but you have to go through things, in life,
fuck a beautiful girl, to realize she is so shallow,
and yeah she whispers things in my ear, but I also dropped a shit load of money on her coffee table.

I dunno you have to live to learn things, experience things, to real understand there value,

yes some people are not made for marriage and some are,

 

[DangerousDan]

I can count all of the couples I know who are still married after 10 years on my testicles. Three.

Marriage doesn't work anymore. It's an idea whose time has gone.

Marriages stats have actually improved over the last 20 years. Maybe that’s due to fewer people with your beliefs getting married.

I believe in marriage. I think love is a beautiful thing. I think in a marriage you build something that is bigger than either individual. By merging your life, you create a third entity and it grows bigger and stronger as time goes on as long as you feed and water it. When life takes it’s inevitable ups and downs, that entity is there to lift you up. It keeps your life in perspective.

I think that vision is hard for many to see or appreciate in our instant gratification society. I think a lot of people believe that entity deprives you of instant gratification which is true. But therein lies the difference between happiness and contentment. I pursue the latter, the same way I pick a nutritious meal over sugar.

 

[Fullhouse]

I can count all of the couples I know who are still married after 10 years on my testicles. Three.
.

Gee, for you to allow that for such a long time,you must have really enjoyed those three couples on your testicles for 10 years.
Wow - you are some tough nut, - or to be more precise, you must have some tough nuts.
Weird, but ---- "to each their own".

 

[Ms Erica Phoenix]

Gee, for you to allow that for such a long time,you must have really enjoyed those three couples on your testicles for 10 years.
Wow - you are some tough nut, - or to be more precise, you must have some tough nuts.
Weird, but ---- "to each their own".

You beat me to it!