Your feelings on friends who display loser behaviour

[PerazziDave]

Sorry but I think he needs better friends that do not judge him , bad mouth him behind his back ,
but then I have seen this same post in the past and it will be just as much a arguement as the last time no doubt ,
was it you who posted this same thread previously ?

Wow you say he has your back and you view him as a loser Hmmm... nice to get to know how you think .
Deep down you prob hate yourself for not having freinds you love like you love yourself so you get mad at him for not being like you .

Some people just cant help but think they know it all

Personally I have a variety of friends but spend more time with the Positive ,non judgemental ,kind ones , who enjoy the same activities that I enjoy.
If this guy really a good freind that would have your back then , be glad he is your friend and adopt an attitude of gratitude .

But certainly make more friends like yourself who you have respect for , just dont expect all others to all be like you .

LoadShooter I admire your post on this subject. It's not everyone who it willing to show what a shallow friend that they are on a public forum. You have this guy as a friend to back you up as you say but you detest who and what he is. You have a couple of options, post his name and picture and address and tear him right down to the ground, or try to make this guys life a little better by being a friend to him and try to get him involved in subtle lifestyle change. Once he see's his life getting better maybe this will change his perspective.

It's a New Year, sounds like you and your friend could use some time together to make each other better people.

PD

 

[westwoody]

I feel for Load Shooter. He doesn't hate the guy, he hates the guy's choices.
"Hate the sin, love the sinner".
We all have friends, people we love, who make bad decisions or get hit by bad luck. When you care about someone, you feel their pain.
We try to help them but nothing seems to work, and we get frustrated, all our efforts are in vain.
I think this is what is happening to LS.

 

[LoadShooter]

To clear things up I don't hate this guy or want to rip him. I am just don't understand his choices and willingness to accept things as is without improvement. A life of watching tv, movies and sports and staying home.. and never travelling, never meeting the right woman or any woman...and never putting any effort into anything...any dream, hobby activity..anything. That's it.

I don't think I'm a bad person for labelling him a loser, because I'm just being real and honest. People need a reality check in life sometimes to get some perspective, but unfortunately, some people are really sensitive and defensive, even when a legitimate point is being made. If I was making really bad choices in life, I'd want someone who's a good friend to take me aside in private and say, "hey man...what are you doing here"... or even make some subtle hints. I can take that feeback, but some people can't.

One time he was acting like a bit of a baby, and I called him out on it in a subtle way as alot of friends was. He became very defensive and we didn't talk for a few months. That's why I don't feel he's open minded enough to accept my perspective. I'm posting about it on PERB, because I wanted to get some perspective on how I feel about this guy. It's not about me going up and confronting the guy and back talking him because I'm afraid he's going to beat me up.

One day, I will ask him why he's so content with such low standards in his way of living. I'll have to do it in a very careful way and let him know that I understand how sensitive he is and that I don't mean to offend him, but just understand his perspective. That moment just won't be anytime in the immediate future.

 

[LoadShooter]

To get some perpective try thinking how you would feel if you came on perb and saw your "friend" talking shit like this about you and your personal choices (or for that matter found out that your so called friend had such a low opniion of you ), judging you as inferior and having low standards.

Living alone
being sexually active
well travelled
going to the gym
nice dresser
and going out a lot meeting men /women friends
Does not make anyone a better person or databe etc as seen on POF everyone says they are like that yet they are all on a dating site and single Hmm....must be a City thing .
I know I am all of the above and do not think I am better then anyone else , I am still single and not looking because way too many people think if they are all these things they are special or superior.

I thank you for teaching yet again to be very careful as to who I call a friend .

If I know someone living a life of complete minimum standards, then you think I'm wrong for calling it out that way and I should pretend that he's living a normal, healthy and fulfilling life?? If you want friends to lie to you despite any bad choices you make and tell you that your awesome despite going through life making no effort, then good for you if that's your preference. Regardless of what you think of me as a person, I don't have to agree with you points as well.

You seem quite negative and set on painting me as a villain and I'll be ignoring any more of your posts going forward.

 

[87112]

I don't have any friends either, damm those things are hard to make!!
Outside of family, I don't think a soul would help me say pick me up at the airport.

 

[stamina]

I don't have any friends either, damm those things are hard to make!!
Outside of family, I don't think a soul would help me say pick me up at the airport.

I would. Just give me 24 hours notice and $300 as long as you're within Metro Vancouver.