The delayed ejaculation, used to be called retarded ejaculation, doesn't trouble me as much anymore since I have ATFs who can definitely make me orgasm. The one that annoys me to no end is my "allergy" to condom...condom goes on, I run a 50% chance going soft, and it's hell psychologically cause when the cap goes on, my mind goes, don't go soft- and of course then I do go soft lol. Some people have suggested I should try viagra, but it just seems silly to take pills for pooning.
Sexual performance problems.
- Thread starter johnsmit
- Start date
I go through periods of self blue balling. Two hour dates, prolonged delaying of what my mind tells me is the ultimate cum shot. Sometimes, I miss the boat and end up with blue balls.
Luckily the SP's I've seen this year know what makes me tick and get the job done nicely.
I haven't had an issue with it this year but 2015 and 2014 had times when it was WTF is going on.
Luckily the SP's I've seen this year know what makes me tick and get the job done nicely.
I haven't had an issue with it this year but 2015 and 2014 had times when it was WTF is going on.
Great topic to discuss. I generally can't orgasm during intercourse or oral sex with an SP and almost always conclude with the "self finish" routine.
I've found it's very contextual for me. Somewhat rarely an SP can get me over the edge, and not even always with the same lady. Almost always works with a pure massage provider, although I've been selective about who I've seen that way so can't really conclude anything. Context is everything though. Depends on the setting, the mood, the lady (obviously), the prelude, etc. Some days it's perfect, and others it's still very enjoyable.
Re: finishing myself: I've had reactions ranging from curiousity to eagerness to indifference. I'm not embarrassed by it so it's perhaps part of why it works.
- qq
I've found it's very contextual for me. Somewhat rarely an SP can get me over the edge, and not even always with the same lady. Almost always works with a pure massage provider, although I've been selective about who I've seen that way so can't really conclude anything. Context is everything though. Depends on the setting, the mood, the lady (obviously), the prelude, etc. Some days it's perfect, and others it's still very enjoyable.
Re: finishing myself: I've had reactions ranging from curiousity to eagerness to indifference. I'm not embarrassed by it so it's perhaps part of why it works.
Being in my late 60s I am interested in this thread. I do suffer a little from ED. not what it used to be.. cripes when I was in my late teens and early 20s all my GF had to do was check out my junk and I would cream my shorts. Now it is getting slower and slower and not a big as it used to be. Plus when I finally get there even though it can be intense, there is not much cum produced in comparison to what it used to be.. I did notice a drop in this soon after my vasectomy a number of years ago.. I tried Viagra a few weeks ago but all I got was a flush in the face. no real noticeable change in Hardness or arousal. Nor did the regular SP I see notice any difference and she knew I had taken it. I find a good vibration of some sort, ie the Hitachi with the male adapter ( the best) or a deep throat and a low growl work well BUT the chemistry also HAS to be there. BTW its the BBBJ or a very thin condom that gets me off the best.. FS not.. Never got there with any SP I have seen. So I don't even ask for it.
I am curious about other aids that have not been mentioned in this thread... Like the use of Altoids (of Monica Lewinski fame) and crushed ice. What others of these have some of you seen or had used.
I am curious about other aids that have not been mentioned in this thread... Like the use of Altoids (of Monica Lewinski fame) and crushed ice. What others of these have some of you seen or had used.
W
Warl0ck
I would concur. I have heard that some clients have performance issues around SP's because they may be married, have subconscious guilt, fear, etc. Our big head is a little more powerful than we realize sometimes.
I agree too
There is some issue but not really sure what it is.
There totally is a mental trigger .because when I am horny just with my own thoughts and maybe find some porn that Acctually arouses me ,most porn does nothing for me,I need to find a rare image and sounds that can make me cum in minutes.
When I am with am person there is a lot offer mental activity going on and I juse might not bearing seeing or here the right stimulious. Physically I don't feel very much from BBBJ or sex even though I can be hard for 30 min or more.
The times that I have come with someone by doing it myself .I Acctually mentality have to seek out the feel that brings me to climax. And I offended can loss it just before.
I am sure it come down to the basic of how attracted I am to the person I am with and what are my true feeling .
The whole gamete of human emotions.
What I am aware of is that the girl is not my girl friend or partner, I am not totally in love with them so we are not making love ,that there was someone before or there will be some one after me and I only got an hour or two with her.
Of that maybe she will be happy with 20. ,30 min of sex or oral and I also just might get bored of fucking for any longer..
That being said those that I saw many times I loved being with them , could not wait to see them and did feel a love for them and could cum with then many times.And yet other time I could not and even though I am friends with them still to day any desire I had for them while I actively saw them are mostly gone to day because the changes in there situation and mine.
I most of you can see there are defined mitigating circumstances I try to work though .
Obviously I think to much when it comes with engaging in sexual activities with some one .
There is some issue but not really sure what it is.
There totally is a mental trigger .because when I am horny just with my own thoughts and maybe find some porn that Acctually arouses me ,most porn does nothing for me,I need to find a rare image and sounds that can make me cum in minutes.
When I am with am person there is a lot offer mental activity going on and I juse might not bearing seeing or here the right stimulious. Physically I don't feel very much from BBBJ or sex even though I can be hard for 30 min or more.
The times that I have come with someone by doing it myself .I Acctually mentality have to seek out the feel that brings me to climax. And I offended can loss it just before.
I am sure it come down to the basic of how attracted I am to the person I am with and what are my true feeling .
The whole gamete of human emotions.
What I am aware of is that the girl is not my girl friend or partner, I am not totally in love with them so we are not making love ,that there was someone before or there will be some one after me and I only got an hour or two with her.
Of that maybe she will be happy with 20. ,30 min of sex or oral and I also just might get bored of fucking for any longer..
That being said those that I saw many times I loved being with them , could not wait to see them and did feel a love for them and could cum with then many times.And yet other time I could not and even though I am friends with them still to day any desire I had for them while I actively saw them are mostly gone to day because the changes in there situation and mine.
I most of you can see there are defined mitigating circumstances I try to work though .
Obviously I think to much when it comes with engaging in sexual activities with some one .
W
Warl0ck
John
It's possible you feel guilt, revulsion, or other emotions and that may be the factor limiting your ability to orgasm in a woman. Our minds are very powerful. When I first started becoming emotionally attached to an SP (long long ago) I struggled with my own stereotypes. I saw me as this liberal minded guy open to all things sexuality, etc. I came to understand I harboured negative feelings towards sex workers & I stereotyped them.
We've been trained since childhood to have negative opinions on sex, etc. It's bad, it's dirty, it's wrong, pleasure is wrong, etc, etc. Sometimes we think those feelings are gone but their not. You stated you'd never really been with a civilian woman. Perhaps you have feelings of inadequacy and that causes your issue? Sex is a "mind thing" as much as a physical thing. The plumbing all works the same. Stroke cock, semen comes out. The roadblocks are usually mental.
It's possible you feel guilt, revulsion, or other emotions and that may be the factor limiting your ability to orgasm in a woman. Our minds are very powerful. When I first started becoming emotionally attached to an SP (long long ago) I struggled with my own stereotypes. I saw me as this liberal minded guy open to all things sexuality, etc. I came to understand I harboured negative feelings towards sex workers & I stereotyped them.
We've been trained since childhood to have negative opinions on sex, etc. It's bad, it's dirty, it's wrong, pleasure is wrong, etc, etc. Sometimes we think those feelings are gone but their not. You stated you'd never really been with a civilian woman. Perhaps you have feelings of inadequacy and that causes your issue? Sex is a "mind thing" as much as a physical thing. The plumbing all works the same. Stroke cock, semen comes out. The roadblocks are usually mental.
Given some of your other descriptions there is likely a physical (medical) thing going on too, but this definitely is a "mental state" thing you describe. Maybe the thing that excited you in the past is different now. Maybe you need to build a different relationship with an SP before getting naked.
What made me excited enough to orgasm in my youth isn't the same as now. For me, now, it's intimacy. Intimacy takes time and effort, and of course the right SP.
Perhaps change your perspective and change your approach, and maybe you will discover something new as well as exciting/stimulating. Hope that is useful advice, it's meant with sincerity.
W
Warl0ck
A healthy lifestyle is definitely a plus for male performance. A good cardio work out helps blood flow and that's important for Mr Happy. Any type of weights help build up testosterone which is the male enabler. And some males are just more fortunate than other males in terms of virility. It's all genetic, but that shouldn't stop one from trying. And ya know, I think how you feel about yourself plays an important factor. Men also get ashamed of their bodies and that can limit sexual performance. Much is made of the pressure on females, but little is made of the pressure on men to be hot.I heard a good diet helps. Less junk food and more green veggies, certain fruits like strawberries/bananas, and oysters.
I just had my general physical , waiting to here the results of tests. But nothing stands out as a effecting my performance. ..I had prostitis a few months ago and that cleared up with antibiotic.. otherwise the nothing else showed from the prostate exam.
I don't have diabetes, my blood pressure is in the low normal and I just did a stress test on the treadmill. That was a little tiring but I could not even get my heart rate up to target of 140 kind of hovered at 132 and lower even on the very fast walking. Was not comfortable with the jogging and called it quits there .I'll have to see what the report says on that.
I don't have a big problem getting a hard on when mentally aroused and although I usually take 10 mil of cialis when I see an SP. .I physically can go for 30 min or more doing it quit vicariously and maltable ways.
Just not a whole lot of pleasure able feeling.
I have no doubt that after 47 yrs of masturbating and I am circumcised, that things have become less sesitive ando have built patterns that acctual sex can not duplicate. But like I have said if I get turned on my own mentally thinking about something or find the right porn , I can cum in 2 to 3 min.and get some sensation from it . Of course nothing like I did 12 yrs ago .and even then when I first started seeing escorts I had noticed a decrease in all my sensation and ejaculating levels.
Although I am still happy I have interest in sex and want to see twenty something girls. Lol
I don't have diabetes, my blood pressure is in the low normal and I just did a stress test on the treadmill. That was a little tiring but I could not even get my heart rate up to target of 140 kind of hovered at 132 and lower even on the very fast walking. Was not comfortable with the jogging and called it quits there .I'll have to see what the report says on that.
I don't have a big problem getting a hard on when mentally aroused and although I usually take 10 mil of cialis when I see an SP. .I physically can go for 30 min or more doing it quit vicariously and maltable ways.
Just not a whole lot of pleasure able feeling.
I have no doubt that after 47 yrs of masturbating and I am circumcised, that things have become less sesitive ando have built patterns that acctual sex can not duplicate. But like I have said if I get turned on my own mentally thinking about something or find the right porn , I can cum in 2 to 3 min.and get some sensation from it . Of course nothing like I did 12 yrs ago .and even then when I first started seeing escorts I had noticed a decrease in all my sensation and ejaculating levels.
Although I am still happy I have interest in sex and want to see twenty something girls. Lol
John I have pretty much the same problem. I rarely cum when I have sex, but I do notice that the times I do is if I just go for it immediately. It seems like as a women gets wetter and or looser, the sensation seems to lessen quite a bit, so if I can get to it quickly I either cum very soon or I don't at all.
Here another one that is part of the problem
I can get turned on at any time by some thought ,text from a girl or something I see,but that not to say I going to get israntly turned on when I make an appointment with an SP and when the door open I am off. Lol. Sure I have a hard on because I am aroused by the expectations and the site ,but that is not the same as being horny and jaching off and Cumming in 2 min. There is that mental trigger missing.
Yes it could happen and the idea situation would be when ypur just woth some one , not on a clock and not working about how much is this going you cost me.
But I just have never been in that type of situation with a women .Not date that lead to foreplay and effortlessly to a sexual activity ..There allways has been planing time tables tension if some kind and I guess there really has not been that real lover connection .
No matter how much I am friends with the girls I see it has never been total freedom of action or thought and on a rair occasion or two a girl has been totally abandoned in there passion for sex. On those occasion I might of cum but not sure .
I can get turned on at any time by some thought ,text from a girl or something I see,but that not to say I going to get israntly turned on when I make an appointment with an SP and when the door open I am off. Lol. Sure I have a hard on because I am aroused by the expectations and the site ,but that is not the same as being horny and jaching off and Cumming in 2 min. There is that mental trigger missing.
Yes it could happen and the idea situation would be when ypur just woth some one , not on a clock and not working about how much is this going you cost me.
But I just have never been in that type of situation with a women .Not date that lead to foreplay and effortlessly to a sexual activity ..There allways has been planing time tables tension if some kind and I guess there really has not been that real lover connection .
No matter how much I am friends with the girls I see it has never been total freedom of action or thought and on a rair occasion or two a girl has been totally abandoned in there passion for sex. On those occasion I might of cum but not sure .
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Why would anyone want to come in 2 -3 minutes? Pleasure, even when one is terribly horny, is best drawn out and savored with the climax being the peak of a fantastic sensual journey. IMO of course.
"Real lover connection"... uh, no.... maybe a really good time together...yeah, sure, passion... but we are in the company of SPs who sex with a number of partners everyday they work, so "lover" I think not (usually).
I will promote that placing my focus on the lady and with pleasuring her, is what sparks my desire and she can easily see it. Women love being the center of genuine active interest.
Such an involvement with her and her pleasure will, more often than not, elicit a reciprocal interest from her. Then the sex gets hot and steamy.
The hot and steamy part definitely sets up the mental framework for release. After she's come, the focus falls more to you, as she is an active participant in your turn at climax.
For the physical part, namely your penis in her vagina, I've found it best to slow it down at the end, be very close body to body, face to face, mouth to mouth, and use a small circle stir the pot movement rather than the usual in-out.
Over countless women, I have found my sweet spot in every woman's pussy, sopping wet or not, where the sensation on the head of johnson and on its underside grazing those sugar walls is too much to resist.
This is the key to my personal longevity in sessions with SPs. I can choose the time of my release, delaying until she's thoroughly satisfied and spent, and then positioning properly and letting it be about me within us.
Experiment with it if you haven't found it yet. Savor what's happening. Take your time (which you're paying for anyway). Eventually I believe you'll find it, and when you have, just give into it.
Caveats:
Since past my 20th birthday a long, long time ago, I do not masturbate much, maybe 3 times a year, and I do not watch porn except for those 3 times.
I think the main element of masturbating is that it's all about you. That is more of a block when sexing with a real woman than supposed diminishing of skin sensitivity.
When I get horny I visit a SP and resist any urge for self release.
If a few days must pass before I visit a working girl, then I just let the desire be in the background until then.
Of course, the anticipation is an integral part of the pleasure of arriving at her workplace.
As for visits with SPs.... for 45 minutes, I am intimately engaged with the female person I am with, who is giving me her body and, if I can manage it, a small piece of herself.
So what percentage mental? and what percentage physical? and what percentage social? Full blasters across the board, IMO.
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funny how the mental aspect of things still affect us
I still have trouble taking a piss with other people around, no problem if by myself, or half drunk as in my youth and at parties
if I am in a situation where I have to piss in a room full of other people, I have to wait till I can barely hold it any longer otherwise I get stage fright so to speak
you would think that this would gradually go away over the years but it hasn't, size isn't an issue. have nothing to hide in terms of that, just a pee shyness I have had since boyhood
suspect that in terms of sexual performance the mental aspect is the same, have had on occasion the same anxiety with a new girlfriend particularly if she is gorgeous, fortunately it was limited to my early 20's.....
I still have trouble taking a piss with other people around, no problem if by myself, or half drunk as in my youth and at parties
if I am in a situation where I have to piss in a room full of other people, I have to wait till I can barely hold it any longer otherwise I get stage fright so to speak
you would think that this would gradually go away over the years but it hasn't, size isn't an issue. have nothing to hide in terms of that, just a pee shyness I have had since boyhood
suspect that in terms of sexual performance the mental aspect is the same, have had on occasion the same anxiety with a new girlfriend particularly if she is gorgeous, fortunately it was limited to my early 20's.....
Well, at least I'm not alone it seems. 7 decades this spring, - - - still appreciate a fine woman, a nice handful, and caressing those curves. I'm beginning to come to accept that although " the spirit is willing, and the flesh is sometimes weak " if it doesn't get 'up' to the occasion, oh well. The couple girls I see seem at least to be understanding and accommodating. It's a shame to become too old for this ! !
