You have brought a good point. One of my former ATFs, from some time ago, the first time was a good experience, not great. The second time she appreciated me coming back to see her, and then we talked about a lot of things in general. Then the magic happened, it clicked on all levels for the both of us, many, many meetings after that. Communication is the key for most of everything in life.
Ideal SP
- Thread starter Dickson
- Start date
Very interesting. I hear that more and more. Some guys are looking for a connection. Nice to know I am not alone.
Yes i usually reach out by email first to get a feel for the lady, introduce myself and tell her what i'm looking for to try and avoid more "misses". Doesn't always work as some don't bother to reply and others just agree to get my money i suspect. Communication a necessity. Can't get a connection without it. Some say theirs no time to respond, but lots do. I've traded well over 100 emails with a lovely prominent touring lady so i know its possible. Shows alot of character. Maybe i'm not just a number and she cares about more that just cash.
Oh and fit and firm physically with no graffiti.
Hank like so many others you do not have an ideal SP rather than just someone who cares and wants to spend time with you. Of course a little sex at the end adds to the experience. So there are more guys like me than I thought. Or just the ones who think like me respond to the thread.
Thanks.
Dickson, again I agree with your view on this. There are men that have similar views and perspectives. As in any relationship, a connection is important, whether it is an hour, a lifetime and anything in between. The physical connection is almost always enhanced by the emotional. All else I can say to other hobbyists, is to have fun, enjoy the present and future experiences with the ladies you visit.
Yes Katman there are all kinds of SPs out there some are hood at the 1/2 hour events and others like CJ who specialize in the longer relationship type events. So there are clients and SPs for everyone.
I thought there was something strange about my fantasies but I feel much better reading the responses her. Does anyone partake in the fantasy roles plays like me?
Ya its not about sex for me, i don't always accept it. I'm not a machine. I need my mind stimulated. If she is not sweet, compassionate, genuine and convincing me she's interested it doesn't really work.
I haven't found anyone to repeat with enough to feel comfortable to role play with so no.
When I find what I'm looking for, I think I would want to marry her. The experiences with SPs until then are just partially filling a need...
Interesting. You will marry her? I though the marry thing was....well.... Over rated. However saying that I have always wondered what it would be lil being married to the woman you are on love with?
The more I hear from people marry her and the love dies.
My ideal would be tall, slender with small boobs and a tight butt. Intelligent and saucy.
But oddly enough the ones I end up crushing on are not like that to the most extent.
The only thing they have in common is intelligence. So I guess that trumps all for me.
But oddly enough the ones I end up crushing on are not like that to the most extent.
The only thing they have in common is intelligence. So I guess that trumps all for me.
Guess I'm a romantic and optimist. Being through it twice and still believe it is something possible... and have seen a small number who have achieved it.
Fool that I am, I'm still striving for that dream. Not that I'm single or even really looking at the moment. But, I don't see much evidence that the current unsatisfactory state of affairs will change despite my efforts. And as she is now living 17 hours flight away, the conditions are less conducive for any real change.
I've only been with a couple of SPs, but my first experience was as close to ideal as it could get. We emailed quite a bit prior to me seeing her, and when we did meet, she was kind and giving. Unfortunately she was on the East Coast and I was only in town a couple of months. Kept in touch for a good long while, but I was going through some personal health issues and was in a bad place and stopped communicating. Just recently I got in touch with her again. Didn't know quite what to expect since we hadn't talked in so long and I was asking if she could be a reference, but she was really happy to hear from me. Didn't know what I was missing until I started talking to her again.
I saw my sp last sunday, neither one of us could decide what to do so we just hung out, went for a dog walk and enjoyed the morning,
After the walk we crashed a outdoor patio and had something cold and a bite, people watched, or people watched us, our dogs gather a lot of attention.
The waitress was cute, and there was a few nimble young things bounding around, I couldn't help but notice the swell in my sp's t-shirt as well.
It wasn't long before, I felt stirring a desire, and asked her if she had any plans for the rest of the day,
No she did not, and we eventually moved to her place.
My ideal sp or encounter would be something like that relaxed no time or money pressures just enjoying life and what it has to offer,
Im a guy and getting older and had some medical issue's of late, but still it doesn't take much to feel a desire.
its nice you know, relaxing Im tired of all the time and money pressures. and the guilt the sneaking around dark alleys and hotels looking for an address,
Its nice to act like a normal person, hanging out with a lady having a few drinks out in the open like were a couple.
and then when the mood strikes.
After the walk we crashed a outdoor patio and had something cold and a bite, people watched, or people watched us, our dogs gather a lot of attention.
The waitress was cute, and there was a few nimble young things bounding around, I couldn't help but notice the swell in my sp's t-shirt as well.
It wasn't long before, I felt stirring a desire, and asked her if she had any plans for the rest of the day,
No she did not, and we eventually moved to her place.
My ideal sp or encounter would be something like that relaxed no time or money pressures just enjoying life and what it has to offer,
Im a guy and getting older and had some medical issue's of late, but still it doesn't take much to feel a desire.
its nice you know, relaxing Im tired of all the time and money pressures. and the guilt the sneaking around dark alleys and hotels looking for an address,
Its nice to act like a normal person, hanging out with a lady having a few drinks out in the open like were a couple.
and then when the mood strikes.
Ideal SP? No such person.
Because I am so promiscuous.
Because I like all the ladies too much.
But someone who can deliver 45 minutes of wonderful sexual play.
I do not look for a paid non-sexual interaction or companion in a SP.
To me, that would be like buying a "friend", a bit of an oxymoron.
Maybe I should try it sometime, but it just seems odd to me.
I guess one has a good time doing whatever, with a perfect person playing the role 100%.
But what do you have in the absence of money?
Ideal woman? Wow, that would take some doing.
Unselfish for starters. Tough one, eh?
Caring, attentive, easy to be with. Intelligent. Fun.
Of course, attractive and desirable to this man's eyes.
I'm not looking and not expecting to run into.
Because I am so promiscuous.
Because I like all the ladies too much.
But someone who can deliver 45 minutes of wonderful sexual play.
I do not look for a paid non-sexual interaction or companion in a SP.
To me, that would be like buying a "friend", a bit of an oxymoron.
Maybe I should try it sometime, but it just seems odd to me.
I guess one has a good time doing whatever, with a perfect person playing the role 100%.
But what do you have in the absence of money?
Ideal woman? Wow, that would take some doing.
Unselfish for starters. Tough one, eh?
Caring, attentive, easy to be with. Intelligent. Fun.
Of course, attractive and desirable to this man's eyes.
I'm not looking and not expecting to run into.
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Wonderful comment. I feel much better knowing I am not alone in my desires. Sounds perfect. I never thought I would like the idea of hanging out with an SP until I met my favorite and she took me to a farmers market then out to a little cheese shop to test and try and buy. Then to a little wine store. Though out the day as we were walking along. When I least expected it she would stop me look at me smile pull me closer to her hug me and kiss me. It was amazing feeling. I love when I would start to think of my crazy life she would look at me smile and whisper things in my ear and make all my worries go away.
In London I asked her to do that for me again. So much peace and so relaxing. Distressing is easy with her better than my therapist. Although she reminds me she is not a therapist. I thing she is better.
So I can totally relate to your comments.
Wonderful comment. I feel much better knowing I am not alone in my desires. Sounds perfect. I never thought I would like the idea of hanging out with an SP until I met my favorite and she took me to a farmers market then out to a little cheese shop to test and try and buy. Then to a little wine store. Though out the day as we were walking along. When I least expected it she would stop me look at me smile pull me closer to her hug me and kiss me. It was amazing feeling. I love when I would start to think of my crazy life she would look at me smile and whisper things in my ear and make all my worries go away.
In London I asked her to do that for me again. So much peace and so relaxing. Distressing is easy with her better than my therapist. Although she reminds me she is not a therapist. I thing she is better.
So I can totally relate to your comments.
I spent a wonderful afternoon last weekend with my lady friend. We went for lunch and nearly spent two hours just talking and nibbling. After lunch, we drove to the water front and just walked together enjoying each other's company. I did not notice or cared about other people around us, but one older lady stopped us and did say to us that she was moved that we seemed to be in love after all these years. She nudged me as she was holding my arm, and stated that she is so happy and wanted me more that anything else at the moment. We walked back to my car and drove back to her place. We meet once a month and both of us always anticipate our meetings through our weekly phone calls and emails almost every day.
Not only is it a break for me from daily routines at work, but for her too.
Dickson, this is an excellent thread you have started here.
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I think you mean "de-stressing" rather that 'distressing', though probably she would be good to be 'distressed' with as well
I do see SP's as a form of therapy, although not one you can claim on ones medical plan. In my case, it is to work on my ADD (affection deficit disorder).
But, what you describe is something I would expect more outside of an SP relationship, something that goes above and beyond expectations of a relationship with an SP. And in your case, maybe it is going beyond that as well. This fits with my earlier comment... someone like that I would want to marry. But, this time I would keep courting them every day. I think that is part of what gets lost when people marry. Life gets in the way, and the special effort and touches we put in pre-marriage get forgotten and lost... and in time, with neglect the love dies too.
So, the courting can never stop... and then I think there is a chance for the love to last and deepen and grow into something absolutely amazing. And finally, I think I'm nearly in a place where this may be possible... or will be in the foreseeable future.
Although you don't say who, I think many of us can guess who you might be talking about. There are many possible reasons why she doesn't want more, and all I would say is "hold on lightly," as the freedom she has now is something that is important to her and I suspect she doesn't want to lose that or jeopardize what she has. You probably know better than I do on this. But, you never know what may happen down the road. This is a lesson I'm learning on a daily basis with someone I'm getting to know and get close to. I can't push things, but simply appreciate what we have when we get together. We both know and understand our current constraints and situation, but the possibilities for the future are also open.
And yes, some interesting comments and viewpoints have come up on this thread. Thanks for starting it.
