Conversing with your SP prior to a session

[ogreray]

Evening everyone,

How much back and forth communication do you have with a service provider prior to a session? Is it simply a "hello I'm Joe Bloh and want to book a session on [date/time]?" or do you try and start a bit of chit-chat to get an idea if there's a fit, especially with a new sp?

Ladies, do you mind some to and throw communication with the persons you'll meet and if so, what type of medium do you prefer to communicate with?

Personally, I'm a bit of a shy person, so getting to talk to someone a bit before I see them puts me a bit at ease. My first time ever involved a lot of back and forth communication prior to the session. I was nervous, but the person I was with put me at ease in part because she knew more than just my name and age. It was a great experience overall.

Had a session recently where I wasn't very nervous, but there wasn't much communication prior. It wasn't the best of times, it was at least in a small way due to a lack of communication.

 

[ogreray]

I have a habit of just ripping someone's clothes off, I sometimes forget not everyone wants that. It's nice for the clients to let us know what they want since we are not mind readers. Someone wanting a lot of contact before, like emailing back and forth more then a few times are just wasting our time 99% of the time so it's also nice to be up front with what your needs are.

Nothing wrong with ripping someone's clothes. I'm sure most/all of the people you see wouldn't complain about that

If some messages a lot and in the end doesn't make it worth/wastes your time, it's not right. Everyone's time is valuable after all.

If you start off with, hey, would it be ok to talk to you a bit first and asking the girl how she would prefer to communicate you will probably have good luck finding a good SP you connect with. One thing I've noticed is that we are all really diverse in our communication preferences of text, talk, email so you probably have to be open minded to the various forms. I think we all love having a clear idea on what you looking for before you show up so we can have a better idea of how to make you happy so that's great you like to talk about it.

Good luck

I like PMs most of all, but any kind of digital communication is good. Like you said, the community is quite diverse though, and there are lots of personal preferences.

Thanks for the well wishes BC Babe!

 

[Caramel]

. Someone wanting a lot of contact before, like emailing back and forth more then a few times are just wasting our time 99% of the time so it's also nice to be up front with what your needs are.

true...all depends on the type of SP as well, like from a high priced independent or a micro/quicky type of provider, I mean more like a wham bam vs a dinner & drinks sort, will give you an idea how much vetting time the SP is willing to invest. Another idea would be, if you're genuine and may possibly make your decisions based on the chit chat beforehand, you could always offer to pay her a small social time fee and e-transfer it over for her time to have a conversation.

There has been a rule formed from experience for some SPs - the bigger the paragraph and more colorful the words are and not leading to any booking - means its best to put that number or e-mail into the spam box.

you could even just take an SP out on a social coffee if she offers that kind of social rate service...like a date outing, and see how that goes too! or even just use that to chat on the phone for a while

good luck of course!

 

[Caramel]

Nothing wrong with ripping someone's clothes. I'm sure most/all of the people you see wouldn't complain about that

If some messages a lot and in the end doesn't make it worth/wastes your time, it's not right. Everyone's time is valuable after all.

sadly and unfortunately, there are many people out there who don't feel that way and have lots of time on their hands to bother SP's...consistently, sometimes for years.

 

[Alix Turner]

I won't see someone I haven't spoken to first. I don't share some of the things I am looking for in the conversation before I will see someone but I think it should be a given that if a person is not bothering to listen about when I am free to talk or behaves as though they are humouring me by following my rules... I give them a lot more rope and take a lot more time to make sure it is a good idea to meet them.. I will ask more open ended questions so they have a chance to show me how they manage it.

I agree with BC_Babe though, some of the people I see managed to make plans with me without giving me any reason to hesitate or scrutinize them beyond a bare minimum. It can be a lot of fun to see someone who is in many respects little more than a familiar stranger.

 

[cedar77]

I won't see someone I haven't spoken to first.It can be a lot of fun to see someone who is in many respects little more than a familiar stranger.

That's the difference between a "random " SP and a very classy SP

 

[ogreray]

true...all depends on the type of SP as well, like from a high priced independent or a micro/quicky type of provider, I mean more like a wham bam vs a dinner & drinks sort, will give you an idea how much vetting time the SP is willing to invest. Another idea would be, if you're genuine and may possibly make your decisions based on the chit chat beforehand, you could always offer to pay her a small social time fee and e-transfer it over for her time to have a conversation.

There has been a rule formed from experience for some SPs - the bigger the paragraph and more colorful the words are and not leading to any booking - means its best to put that number or e-mail into the spam box.

you could even just take an SP out on a social coffee if she offers that kind of social rate service...like a date outing, and see how that goes too! or even just use that to chat on the phone for a while

good luck of course!

Personally, the whole idea of micros isn't for me. I'm more inclined to spend my time with a independent lower volume provider. I'm more interested in the overall experience after all, not just the fs component of that experience.

Hadn't considered paying for social time. Guess it would depend on the situation. I have nothing against that idea, but my wallet does. It's more of a function of cash flow. If my funds were unlimited, I'd have no reservations. As it stands, if I wanted a LOT of social interaction with an sp, I'd still want an little bit of two way communication before to see if there's a likely fit.

Thanks for the well wishes Caramel!

 

[ogreray]

I won't see someone I haven't spoken to first. I don't share some of the things I am looking for in the conversation before I will see someone but I think it should be a given that if a person is not bothering to listen about when I am free to talk or behaves as though they are humouring me by following my rules... I give them a lot more rope and take a lot more time to make sure it is a good idea to meet them.. I will ask more open ended questions so they have a chance to show me how they manage it.

I agree with BC_Babe though, some of the people I see managed to make plans with me without giving me any reason to hesitate or scrutinize them beyond a bare minimum. It can be a lot of fun to see someone who is in many respects little more than a familiar stranger.

Interesting Alix. Thank it's a good idea to have some questions in your back pocket. A lot harder for someone to answer something presented to them directly as opposed to email/pm, assuming they're trying to "craft their own truth" instead of being honest, which should be easy peasy.

 

[Man in Submission]

Personally, the whole idea of micros isn't for me. I'm more inclined to spend my time with a independent lower volume provider. I'm more interested in the overall experience after all, not just the fs component of that experience.

Hadn't considered paying for social time. Guess it would depend on the situation. I have nothing against that idea, but my wallet does. It's more of a function of cash flow. If my funds were unlimited, I'd have no reservations. As it stands, if I wanted a LOT of social interaction with an sp, I'd still want an little bit of two way communication before to see if there's a likely fit.

Thanks for the well wishes Caramel!

For sure! Just a short, polite exchange on email or text to get a feel if you are going to click. You get a bad vibe on the response, then move on. At the current rates, you can't afford to blindly go into a 'hit or miss' situation, then move on to the next and the next and the next until you find a good fit. It's not very cost-effective for guys on budgets. Both parties need to do their due diligence.

 

[Larry Storch]

I have a habit of just ripping someone's clothes off, (snip)

*note to self, bring spare clothing*

 

[LalaniElectrica]

It always depends on the situation. If a person is booking a GFE appointment, I prefer a brief message, hi, how are you? Are you available (Date) at (time) for (striptease gfe, massage with kinky twist, lighthearted leading to full-service) type session? if not, we iron out a time on text… "can you speak for a moment to confirm?" I will recommend a time we can talk, as if I am in a store, in session, with family, or vice versa, discretion works both ways, so plz, text is better for some sp.'s in many cases… Long winded texts or "what are you going to do to me" or send me a pic" all day long, are short-lived…. It's challenging for us sp.'s to sort through who is sincere and who is jerking off…

For first time visitors there may be a request to chat, which is fine, or I do offer a rate for lunch meetings or coffee meetings, which I accept via email transfer only, prior to the meeting… People asked to meet me and been watching me from their car, not showing up, which imo, is a security risk…

If the person is into fetish kink bdsm etc, when they text, I may ask them to send their request and any restrictions via email, in one cohesive paragraph or 2… Not long-winded, as I have enough experience to know what direction to take based on their fetish list, usually Some of which may include slicing off their clothes…literally!

Cheers!

 

[ogreray]

This thread is titled
Conversing with your SP prior to a session

Let me expand it by asking how Ladies handle their solicitations from Johnny .
What type/tone of communications effects your judgement to accept, or decline,
and how do you withdraw tactfully ? How does it effect your outlook/prep for the encounter ?

Both sides form preconceptions :

Pooners also have the benefit of ads and 'reviews'.
I assume Providers 'know' little about who/what to expect ,
and can merely wish for a pleasant performance environment.​

_

_
they tough

Like so many things, SPs are individuals with each their idea of proper communication. Didn't think of how exactly what's passed on, or more how it's done (ie tone, type of language, etc) would affect an SP's decision to see someone, so great contribution wiinky. :thumb:

 

[ogreray]

Dang double post again... I'll just use this spot for my next reply.

It always depends on the situation. If a person is booking a GFE appointment, I prefer a brief message, hi, how are you? Are you available (Date) at (time) for (striptease gfe, massage with kinky twist, lighthearted leading to full-service) type session? if not, we iron out a time on text… "can you speak for a moment to confirm?" I will recommend a time we can talk, as if I am in a store, in session, with family, or vice versa, discretion works both ways, so plz, text is better for some sp.'s in many cases… Long winded texts or "what are you going to do to me" or send me a pic" all day long, are short-lived…. It's challenging for us sp.'s to sort through who is sincere and who is jerking off…

For first time visitors there may be a request to chat, which is fine, or I do offer a rate for lunch meetings or coffee meetings, which I accept via email transfer only, prior to the meeting… People asked to meet me and been watching me from their car, not showing up, which imo, is a security risk…

If the person is into fetish kink bdsm etc, when they text, I may ask them to send their request and any restrictions via email, in one cohesive paragraph or 2… Not long-winded, as I have enough experience to know what direction to take based on their fetish list, usually Some of which may include slicing off their clothes…literally!

Cheers!

I tend to be more long winded (go figure), but I do understand that big messages or multiple messages are a drain on an SP's time. The whole "What are you going to do to me?" line of questioning is off base though. If someone has some special interest in mind, just explain what you want. To have a SP tell you every detail of what's going to happen sure takes a drain on the excitement quotient in the encounter. Also asking for pictures is a bit much. I'm sure any well-reviewed SP is accurately portraying themselves in their ads.

You're not the first to mention a completely social encounter. It's not a bad idea. Not actually attending said social meeting and watching from afar is just plain creepy. Makes my skin crawl.

Lastly, I'm sure you know how to handle a knife based on some of ad pics. Think a lot of guys have a few kinky fantasies they haven't shared with soul. They should explore those possibilities with someone. It can be quite enlightening and down right fun.

 

[Dickson]

This communication is critical for me. Some of the best SPs know how to work this element. I will drop a few 1,000 on a date. I normally do a meet and greet then a hour then a few hours then a dinner date then a over night and finally a weekend end etc...

If there is no communication before or during it dies not go further. One SP has been amazing at this. I do not know how she does it but watching her before her lunch date with another client I was shocked at her prep work. Although she did not share the details on the client. She is way too professional than that. While I was working I could see how intensely she was about her client. I was jealous. We had agree before hand that it was ok for her to meet him. But she puts in a lot if work into the precommunication. I remembered how she was with me. The emails were so hot and heavy. I was so impressed. I miss them now. She knows she does not need to do that anymore she has me. However she is a master. If you ever get her going on email look out she will have toy begging for a date.

Now I wonder why more SPs do not do it. But it does take up time. A lot of time.

 

[Miss Kitty]

Yes it does take a lot of time communicating at length via email/text when there is no guarantee of an actual get together in the future. I have had many back and forth emails with out of town clients (allegedly) who have given me an advanced date and time they will be in town, only to have them cancel the day of due to... enter excuse here.

I think many of the gentlemen here would be surprised to know just how many men out there find this sort of thing amusing. There's a whole bunch of guys who see LL as a dating site and use the good nature or naïveté of us ladies for their jerking off fodder. You know how the saying goes, once bitten twice shy. It has happened to me many times.

While I'm sure there are many legitimate queries from many wonderful men that I have unknowingly passed on, I myself have chosen to stop with lengthy communication prior to meeting with a gent for the first time.

Once I've met with him and feel comfortable that he will be repeating with me, I'm happily cautious about more in depth communication prior to our next appointment.

It's a shame really, as I'm sure I've passed on several wonderful men. I just choose not to engage this way anymore.

Cheers

 

[Dickson]

Yes it does take a lot of time communicating at length via email/text when there is no guarantee of an actual get together in the future. I have had many back and forth emails with out of town clients (allegedly) who have given me an advanced date and time they will be in town, only to have them cancel the day of due to... enter excuse here.

I think many of the gentlemen here would be surprised to know just how many men out there find this sort of thing amusing. There's a whole bunch of guys who see LL as a dating site and use the good nature or naïveté of us ladies for their jerking off fodder. You know how the saying goes, once bitten twice shy. It has happened to me many times.

While I'm sure there are many legitimate queries from many wonderful men that I have unknowingly passed on, I myself have chosen to stop with lengthy communication prior to meeting with a gent for the first time.

Once I've met with him and feel comfortable that he will be repeating with me, I'm happily cautious about more in depth communication prior to our next appointment.

It's a shame really, as I'm sure I've passed on several wonderful men. I just choose not to engage this way anymore.

Cheers

I feel bad for the poor experiences you have had to endure. Yes there are the time wasters and the ones who know they do not hope to connect. It is sad as us other out of town guests loose out and so does the SPs.

I am sad to say that I have had to cancel the odd meeting due to missed flights, changed flights, meetings being cancelled and extended. Shit happens. Too bad that results in these kind of results.

Oh well such is life.

 

[ogreray]

Thank you for contributions Dickson and wiinky. Having people who have contributed so much to the forum in general, as opposed to my 19 (20 with this one) posts lends credibility to the thread.

Miss Kitty, I'm sorry you had some bad experiences with long winded communication. Hopefully any gentlemen that come your way read your post and keep their initial first time convo short and sweet. You probably wouldn't like me then. It shows I'm long winded and I feel obligated to throw my 5 cents in because I started the thread.

Almost forgot SilkLover. II hear you. That's the kind of communication I'm mostly interested in. That simple chit chat about nothing at all actually means something. You can lace it a bit with some sent chat (sometimes), but getting to connect with someone on a more personal level is priceless.