thanks to all for some VERY interesting comments, insight and anecdotes
i certainly am learning far more than i ever bargained for
...Not much I can really do about it except do my best to not allow myself to be a victim, don't take any high risks work-wise anymore & ALWAYS listen to my gut instinct.
that's very true miss tanya. i think there is a lot to be said for how one sees oneself, and the positive effects of a positive outlook. and you're right about listening to your gut instincts - the problem as i see it is when you are under stress for something unrelated, sometimes even your gut isn't paying attention
if i am not mistaken, you have your own stalker here on perb Cowboy....
everybody wants a piece of me lucky...
Give a young man who lacks emotional maturity the best sex of his life and you can quickly become the object of his sexual obsessions. Mix porn addiction and alcohol and it can get pretty creppy pretty fast.
very, very true bc_babe! i actually hadn't put it in such graphic terms in my own mind. but i do know about the power of addictions, and as you say, mix certain psychotropic drugs with a sexual addiction and you've got a potential killer
The song for Stalkers everywhere starting at 3:10 ish (Thanks Steve)
There, there you are
In your house
You are sitting on your couch
and I'm right outside
In the bushes
I'm just waiting here to pounce
Cause You say we broke up
but I don't really think we did
Cause I still have your key
You can run you can hide
but you can't escape Enrique
badger, how do find these classics?
I am a long time client with one particular lady.
One time we got into it and had a fight we called each other some names and said some stupid things.
But that was kind of it, It was time to move on.
I struggled but I did my best to move on see other ladies leave the board we were on together, it just seemed like a fucking stupid thing to do, not move on. Like fuck it was over so get over it and move on.
But some reason guys don't I remember driving within a block of her in call or so, and thought about driving right by her place.
But dam I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction like I cared. Or gave a dam what she was up to,
It really is sort of an insanity to force yourself onto some one to stalk someone it really is nuts. In the end it ruins your life. Trying to hang on to something that isn't there.
That is all I can say its like an insanity.
Its funny the lady I fought with, we got over it,
I was drunk in a bar after some sp stood me up, I emailed her fuck I said can we try again, Im sitting in a bar crying in my beer because so and so stood me up, lets try it again,
She emailed me right back and said ok.
After that fight we trusted each other, the worst that happened was we called each other a name or two, we both could live with that.
I have been to her house, I have met her family friends. we completely trust each other.
you know there are lines you can cross in personal relationships, you have to be invited in and welcomed in.
who wants to be where there not wanted and welcomed only someone who is nuts.
wow, 7of9 - i asked for personal accounts of stalkerish behaviour and you supplied one! thank you for your candour - lots to think about in that story
The Stalker Anthem...
...
Since you've gone I been lost without a trace
I dream at night I can only see your face
I look around but it's you I can't replace
I feel so cold and I long for your embrace
I keep crying baby, baby please
Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
I'll be watching you
you know wilde, that song is one of my favourite classics - i've chilled to it, i've danced to it, i've even fucked to it... but you know, i've never really listened to the words
until now that is. holy shit, that is some powerful stuff
i keep on visiting the thread just to listen to the song again! thanks for that
Nothing hurts more then being left, abandonment is a very powerful thing and cuts deep. I think people that end up stalking others are unconsciously creating their own fear, which is rejection. At some point in their lives they've experienced rejection as love or it's just so familiar they don't know themselves without having that feeling close by at all times. I think the stalker lacks their own personal sense of identity and identifies them selves through the other person so strongly they feel they don't exist without them, that their nothing, better off dead so to speak, if they are alone. They have no internal guidance. Their GPS exists in someone else in away. The pain of being left/rejected is so powerful they become delusional and paranoid. Delusion is denial and paranoia is fear. They can't see the other person, all they can see is what they aren't getting and it is extremely myopic and very selfish. Stalkers are control freaks, trying to control everything around them so they don't have to experience certain feelings. It must be a very lonely place and as frustrating and scary as they can come across, they are hurting very deeply inside.
and here we have what is possibly the most intense paragraph i have ever read in my life!
lady kay, i'm still re-reading it - and constantly discovering new thoughts and ideas that you have incorporated into it. i'm going to have to hire you to summarize some of the reports i write because i sure as hell can't pack so much into so few words
suffice it to say that you've left me reviewing all my breakups, and wondering about the inherent cruelty of not trying a little bit harder to patch things up with an empathetic approach instead of walking away. how many people did i leave feeling rejected by me?
What happens if your ATF stalks you?
answered below don
[DISCLAIMER: All events and characters depicted here are entirely fictitious. Any resemblance to persons living or undead is purely coincidental. All stunts were performed by professionals - DO NOT try this at home!]
Funnily enough, that happened to me once. I was staying in a Hotel and had booked my ATF to come see me for an overnight. She had to be discreet because I was in the Hotel as part of a business function. All was good, we had a fun night and she left the next morning, or so I thought.
Next night around 9pm she texts me to say she decided to take a room in the Hotel and could she borrow a charge cable cos her phone was dying. I was a little surprised but she'd always been a cool chick, so I met her in the Hotel bar where she was having a meal, on her own. First thing she said to me was 'I'm not stalking you, or anything...' We had a brief chat, I gave her the charge cable and left.
About 3am in the morning, she calls me to say she is outside my door to return the charge cable (yeah, right) - I let her in and she basically humped my bones for a solid hour after which she left - no fee, no scam, no nothing (best use for a charge cable in my life
ound
. The next morning it occurred to me this was like one of those spoof letters out of Penthouse Forum but the situation freaked me out when I reflected on it.
Saw her for another six months, then we split up after that - I'm sure there was more to the story but I never worked out what it was.
Years back, I had another ATF who started to get more and more intimate during our time together and started suggesting we should have sex without a condom - she would even try to 'accidentally' brush the condom off prior to 'entry'. That's not my thing so sadly, I split up with her over that - besides, I wasn't going to fall for the oldest trick in the book.
BD
jeez, bd6... what you got goin' for you anyway?
i guess i have to say that these are extremely young women we're talking about here, and many lack the maturity to deal with getting emotional with a client. it always amazes me that the best escorts can pull it off so well. maybe that's one of the reasons why the better ones tend to go with fewer customers - just to keep their emotional balance
as for the condom snatcher, well her motivation seems pretty clear to me
BD6 that is crazy! From an experience a long time ago, I had a once ATF not take to kindly to me moving on from our once a week trysts to no trysts at all. I had my reasons which she said she understood but getting a flaming text after posting a review about a new ATF did not go so well, in fact very poorly. I found in the end to block her texts was the only thing I could do.
What creeps me out the most is threads in the Lounge from pooners saying they hung around the incall after their session to see the pooner who went in next.
Criminy? Get a friken life Pal.
:doh: :crazy:k
i knew i could count on you, 3b, to provide some first hand experiences - from the trenches... so to speak
...Ruined our friendship.
All that from someone I never even met.
Some people just get off on fucking up other people.
i guess that's what we call drama, westwoody, except this woman took it far beyond drama - squarely into the world of stalking. and she didn't only make your life difficult - how bad did she make your ex-atf feel in the process?
I tell you what, they day you get what I am saying, is the day I am in trouble. Sorry sweetie. So stalking is an obsession, gee, you deserve a Nobel prize for such profound insights. Can young women be stalkers?
speaking of drama, beginner - it seems to cling to you like dogshit on your shoe
