Period protocol

[CharlesGrant]

Looking for some thoughts on what the protocol should be when an SP is in her menstrual cycle.

I was in a small town, far from any big city, with an SP who had charged me an extra amount due to the distance she had to travel to see me in my hotel. Long story short, after some prelim fun, we began with reverse cowboy and I noticed she was bleeding in the pubic area and told her. She got off and said oh no I'm having my period. I was covered in blood. This was my first time with this SP and I was out of town on business. While I was frantically trying to clean off she got dressed and ran off, embarrassed.

What's the protocol here in terms of the donation? Should I have asked for money back? And larger picture, should she have even accepted the "gig"?

Thanks,
CG

 

[badbadboy]

Looking for some thoughts on what the protocol should be when an SP is in her menstrual cycle.

I was in a small town, far from any big city, with an SP who had charged me an extra amount due to the distance she had to travel to see me in my hotel. Long story short, after some prelim fun, we began with reverse cowboy and I noticed she was bleeding in the pubic area and told her. She got off and said oh no I'm having my period. I was covered in blood. This was my first time with this SP and I was out of town on business. While I was frantically trying to clean off she got dressed and ran off, embarrassed.

What's the protocol here in terms of the donation? Should I have asked for money back? And larger picture, should she have even accepted the "gig"?

Thanks,
CG

I've had it happen a couple of times with one SP offering a make up date which she gladly honoured a couple of weeks afterwards. One also took the stance that the time was for companionship without any offer of a make up date. This was a long time ago with an SP who has since retired. Needless to say I never tried to see her again.

I should say that a bit of blood doesn't bother me so much. The old saying goes, " I will swim in the Red River but I won't drink from it " applies to me. One current SP advised me the day before that she had her period and I could cancel if I wanted to but she was extremely horny during her period and I went through with it. Glad I did. I was quite memorable.

Just think some SP's still use sponges so they can work during their whole cycle.

 

[Vitargo]

I've had an SP cancel our appointment the night before stating "girl problems." Since we couldn't "play" I went out for dinner with her instead and she mentioned a lot of girls she knows still work while on the rag

 

[Violet]

I have been thinking about this topic recently, since another poster mentioned in the Perb Pet Peeve thread that his is hearing the words "I just got my period."

Most SPs are female and most of us menstruate. That's just life.

To address your last question first - should the SP have accepted the appointment - I think an important fact to remember (which a lot of people don't seem to be aware of) is that menstrual periods are not always predictable. Many women do not have a regular cycle and even those who usually do can have their period start at a totally unexpected time. In addition, a period can seem to have ended and then suddenly start up again. So it is entirely possible that the SP in this case had no reason to expect she would be menstruating at the time of your appointment.

Personally, these days my menstrual cycle is quite regular and I also track it with a smartphone app, but even then I can't reliably predict the exact days it will start and end. So I normally end up taking a full week off every month to accommodate for it potentially starting or ending a little early/late, much to the annoyance of clients/potential clients who wish to see me. Fairly often I will straight-up tell someone that is why is I cannot accept a booking, rather than make something up or just say I'm unavailable a lot and risk them assuming I don't want to see them or feeling I am "difficult" to book with. Same thing with if my period comes early or finishes late and I have to cancel; I would rather they know I am not just being flaky.

Perhaps some of the guys here can chime in on whether or not they prefer an SP to truthfully state the reason when asked why she has zero availability anywhere near the date of their choosing?

I know many clients, especially men who have substantial experience with women and their bodies, actually don't care much if an SP has her period, especially if it is light or she uses a sponge or diaphragm internally to impede the flow. However I am personally not comfortable seeing clients when I have my period, nor do I feel it is fair to them for me to not tell them. Since I have been working as an independent SP, I have had a few instances over the years where I got my period early in the middle of a session. I have offered to end the session and partially refund the fee but not one of the clients took me up on that offer or seemed bothered.

As to whether an SP "should" refund the donation or the client should ask for a refund, I would say it depends on a number of factors, such as how long into the session you are, which one of you chooses to end the session, how you both react, if you are a regular or plan to see her again, etc. If you have 10 min left on a 2 hour appointment and she has provided great service it doesn't seem fair to request a full refund, for example.

Since you tagged your post with "HIV", I assume you are also concerned about the potential risks to yourself. It is my understanding that there is only a very small and controversial body of research that suggests that sex during menstruation might increase the risk of heterosexual HIV transmission to the man. The woman is more susceptible to certain STDs but she is also more susceptible in the days leading up to her period. I can elaborate on these things if anyone is interested but I think I've written a long enough post for now!

 

[CharlesGrant]

Badbadboy and Vitargo - thank you very much for your replies!

Violet - sincere thanks for your reply!! I was trying not to lean one way or the other. I totally get that predictability is difficult. You are observant about the HIV tag - that show my ignorance on these things. I was pretty startled by the situation and was thinking of getting myself tested just to make sure all is good. That seems harsh or like an overreaction, maybe?
Anyway, thank you very much Violet for your great response, I never expected something so good!

 

[Violet]

Violet - sincere thanks for your reply!! I was trying not to lean one way or the other. I totally get that predictability is difficult. You are observant about the HIV tag - that show my ignorance on these things. I was pretty startled by the situation and was thinking of getting myself tested just to make sure all is good. That seems harsh or like an overreaction, maybe?
Anyway, thank you very much Violet for your great response, I never expected something so good!

Thanks! I never know whether people will read it/appreciate it if I write long and detailed posts on here.

I think everyone who is sexually active should regularly get themselves tested for STDs (not just HIV), however, from what I have read, I don't think you need to be especially concerned about HIV because of this situation - assuming you were using condoms correctly and didn't have any cuts on areas that were exposed to the blood. I recall reading on an HIV prevention forum, HIV/AIDS expert Robert James Frascino responded to the question (I'm paraphrasing here), "Should I have heightened concerns about HIV after having protected sex with a "high risk" menstruating woman?" Frascino said, "I see no cause for concern. If you're worried, the option of getting a three-month HIV test is always open to you. However, I personally do not believe it's necessary." You can always ask the health nurse in the Health Information section of PERB. I don't claim to be an expert and can only go by my personal research on the subject (reading/talking to credible sources).

 

[nickcan]

It's too risky for me, what if the condom slips off or rips.
Blood isn't a lubricant and some women are dry during this period.
Much bigger chance of catching HIV if you have the condom rip or come off then when she is on her period.

 

[Fullhouse]

Why would you expect your money back?

FYI - Your period doesn't send an email to let you know when its coming.

travellor, I assume you are addressing CharlesGrant, the OP of this thread, because he did write: "Should I have asked for money back?",
and I am fairly convinced that Charles is a male.

So, not only do I believe that his period doesn't send an e-mail, I'm also convinced that HE DOESN'T HAVE PERIODS --- period. ??:high5:

 

[morementum]

Looking for some thoughts on what the protocol should be when an SP is in her menstrual cycle.

What's the protocol here in terms of the donation? Should I have asked for money back? And larger picture, should she have even accepted the "gig"?

Thanks,
CG

Sorry bud but no answer I can think of other than:

 

[morementum]

......................................................................

 

[vancity_cowboy]

oh... and what about if after wearing a leaky condom with a woman who is on her period, you rip it off to cum on her face and you accidentally cum in her eye?

what are the odds she will catch hiv from her own menstrual blood

well, it could happen couldn't it

***edit

oh oh... and she just brushed teeth before

 

[Mr Blonde]

just had a similar experience, so i'll sound off

just spent some time with an SP who started her period mid-thrust. she told me she was on an IUD and i guess it isn't uncommon. embarassment is natural, and she handled it gracefully. she excused herself to freshen up and when she returned she offered up greek at no charge, to pick up were we left off, or a bbbj.

can't really say i'm bothered by period blood, part of me was thinking "well, they aren't my sheets, and i was having a good time." but there was also an "odor" that came with the surprise in question that kind of put a damper on things for me, so i declined.

so i took a quick shower, got dressed. when i returned i could tell that she was uneasy. being a dood, i can't really surmise how she was feeling, i would a imagine a range of emotions, in combination with a bodily function that although i have been thoroughly educated on, still escapes my understanding.

anyways, my regular retired last year and i've been bouncing around erslist ads looking for a new one and she's the second i've repeated with, (the first was a bait and switch that caught me with balls so blue james cameron is using them in the next Avatar movie)

moving on.

so we sat down and i just threw it out there. i'm not grossed out, im not pissed off, i get it. it's nature, and it loves to show up unannounced. i was worried about her taking it as me trying to reassure her, or an attempt to make her feel better since i couldn't really read where her head was at. for all i know she was thinking "right on, period showed up, let's get this clown out of here!!"

i was like, we went 20 minutes and it was an awesome sweaty 20 minutes and i wish we could have done the full hour. but if you'll see me, i'll come back again. right away felt her mood change, and it's just honesty guys. she offered up half the donation back, which was cool of her. she expressed how she felt about the whole thing, and in the end we both found ourselves in the same place. hugged it out at the door, snuck a kiss (a nut i tried to crack) and was on my way. texted idle chit chat back and forth for a couple of days, and i'll probably visit again this weekend.

reacting "frantically" to something that is a common occurrence probably didn't help matters. as awkward as it was for you, it was probably a million times more for her. chalk it up to experience and consider it money well spent. next time it happens, and it may very well be with someone you care about, don't be a teenager about it. you're with someone who is willingly putting their mouth on your onion balls. a little empathy and understanding will take you a long way.

 

[mimi]

An agency I worked for in the 90s had a policy that you couldn't take time off for your period...blech! The sponge (soaked in lube) only works if your period is light, if it is a heavy one, forget it! Plus, there is the bloating, the cramps, and you just don't feel very sexy. I booked off anyway...fuck'em. If you think a period is an inconvenience for a client, it is far more trouble for the sp. I know of some that took birth control non stop so they could avoid a period for about six months, but that doesn't sound too healthy.

 

[John Anon]

...
So I normally end up taking a full week off every month to accommodate for it potentially starting or ending a little early/late, much to the annoyance of clients/potential clients who wish to see me. Fairly often I will straight-up tell someone that is why is I cannot accept a booking, rather than make something up or just say I'm unavailable a lot and risk them assuming I don't want to see them or feeling I am "difficult" to book with. Same thing with if my period comes early or finishes late and I have to cancel; I would rather they know I am not just being flaky.

Perhaps some of the guys here can chime in on whether or not they prefer an SP to truthfully state the reason when asked why she has zero availability anywhere near the date of their choosing?
...

Personally I appreciate honesty and like to be informed, so I would rather be told why there is no availability by one of my regular SPs.

 

[badbadboy]

I appreciate this thread for a few reasons.

It separates the providers who care about repeat clients from those who have a stance that it's nature and they are meh about having a make up date later.

I've been in the situation with Violet where I wanted a date at a certain date and she told me it just wouldn't work for her above stated reasons. That's a professional attitude IMHO.

I would much rather know about the pending visit by Aunt Flo (if they are uncomfortable about it) versus having a situation where you have spent a good amount of $ and are told "bummer, BBB, maybe next time?"

In that situation, there is no next time if there is no recognition about being able to complete the date.

 

[susi]

one word....sponge....as mimi said.....

i like the sponge however. generally i use nothing else but sponges, no pads or tampons....that way if the opportunity for sex presents itself....ehem....i am ready to go! i have done this throughout the 28 years i have worked and have never had a problem. rinse the sponge well and the client will never know you were bleeding.

 

[Julie Page]

I know of some that took birth control non stop so they could avoid a period for about six months, but that doesn't sound too healthy.

From my understanding, women actually don't need to have periods. I have an IUD, and am one of the blessed women who don't get periods any more. It's awesome.