19 yr old woman falls 26 stories in surrey
- Thread starter cherise
- Start date
Sounds like the police arrived for the domestic disturbance call - just in time to witness her falling. 23 year old boyfriend arrested. The police were attending on a regular basis for previous domestic disturbance calls.
I wish women would understand that if he hits you, he is going to continue hitting you. Our society provides the tools so that you don't have to stay with the asshole.
Domestic Violence is a very complex issue. Yes, our society provides helping tools for both the offender and the victim, but our society also provides the framework for violence, in the family, as everywhere in society. I understand that, as caring individuals, we are often heard to say, "Why doesn't she just leave and never go back?" If only it were that simple.
https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/usermanuals/domesticviolence/domesticviolencec.cfm
http://www.ucalgary.ca/fswresearch/node/97
http://www.joyfulheartfoundation.or.../about-issue/what-are-roots-domestic-violence
This is another tragedy, for both sides of this family and everyone involved. Super sad...
https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/usermanuals/domesticviolence/domesticviolencec.cfm
http://www.ucalgary.ca/fswresearch/node/97
http://www.joyfulheartfoundation.or.../about-issue/what-are-roots-domestic-violence
This is another tragedy, for both sides of this family and everyone involved. Super sad...
It is that simple. If people would not put up with that sort of situation it wouldn't happen. The sociopaths who feed off that dynamic depend on most people going with the flow and not standing up to them. If you let them get away with that sort of behaviour they will just keep on doing it because they know that there are few consequences for themselves.
Sweetie, women that "let them get away with that sort of behaviour" aren't equipped to do what you're suggesting...at least not until they are. I'm afraid you seem to have a bad habit of hearing only what you want to hear. Talk less...listen more... Of course, if people wouldn't allow others to abuse them, abusers wouldn't have any victims! C'mon, that's not exactly rocket science.
The point is we, as a society, have to be more involved in the family and in the community, if we want different outcomes. There are many people working on helping those who weren't given the lessons as youngsters about how to expect to be treated. Eg. if you were yelled at at home, abused, beaten, emotionally and/or physically ill-treated, you have an unusual tolerance for allowing that behaviour into your life as a growing woman.
If you really want to help women stand up for themselves and leave these men, that's a beautiful thing. I am helping on my end, but men can help too...please get involved!
unfortunately a large percentage of females are completely ruled by fashion. it's not 'fashionable' to NOT be able to attract a man, and it's definitely not 'fashionable' to admit publicly that you made a real stupid blunder by chosing an asshole to move in with
so they stick it out - the black eyes, the swollen faces, the shattered egos... because they're ashamed to admit they chose an asshole
very, very sad really... and in the case of the subject of the original post - tragic
and i sure don't see it changing any time soon
It's so much easier when it's not your life. Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who treated you badly yet you continued to stay? I think most of us have and whether or not this person is abusive, when your heart is involved no decision seems easy and no decision seems right. When emotions become unclear, people make bad decisions.
The key is for parents to instill confidence in their children raise them to stick up for themselves if they feel they are being wronged. That way people, male or female can get out of toxic relationships or be able to avoid them altogether.
I don't accept that it is ok for anyone to surrender their pride and dignity because "that is the way it is" and they are helpless. That is a cop out, they are not children, it is being weak. We have a responsibility, both collectively and individually, not to tolerate this sort of violent and anti-social behaviour. It should never be glorified or defended. When you are in a situation like that and do nothing, you share responsibility for it. And that includes the victims. It is hard for me to feel sorry for them when they CAN do something about the situation they find themselves in, but choose to do nothing.
It is a numbers game for these sociopaths, if enough let them get away with it they will carry on doing it because there is no real consequence. That is why it is important for people to stand up against them. Everyone needs to understand that. It is not like it is a mystery or secret to anyone what these people do, the problem is that society (both collectively and as individuals) tolerate it by default to avoid confrontation. We are taught that "I can't do anything myself" so we do nothing. As long as we carry on doing that it will never change.
I agree with you but my point in my previous post is that these people don't have a sense of pride or dignity, most likely because they were abused themselves as children in one way or another. They seek these kinds of relationships because that is how they were shown "love" so they seek it to feed their emotional needs. it doesn't make it right and we a a society should stand up against those predators who prey on the weak, nevertheless, I think your fault is your are framing it as a black/white issue when there's many more shades of grey. I see things the way you do but I know my view is not shared by everybody . It's our type of resolve that needs to be instilled in those victimized by domestic violence.
Re: Tugela's post -
Extremely ignorant viewpoint. Typical of someone without knowledge to blame the victims.
The situation is as complex as the people involved and every situation has different reasons why it develops and continues and simplistic lecturing from someone without any understanding of what motivates people and how they deal with their lives isn't painting you in a particularly good light.
Extremely ignorant viewpoint. Typical of someone without knowledge to blame the victims.
The situation is as complex as the people involved and every situation has different reasons why it develops and continues and simplistic lecturing from someone without any understanding of what motivates people and how they deal with their lives isn't painting you in a particularly good light.
and another tonight in newton . a woman was picking her kid up from the rec center and a robbery ended with her dying in hospital
As brutal as this incident is she does have some responsibility for the outcome. I don't know her story or what her options were but I doubt this was the first incident pointing to where this going.
Its a tragedy if she didn't get the help she needed, it incredible stupidity if it was offered and refused.
I'm glad you said it. What a shallow, anti-empathetic viewpoint expressed by Tugela.
I am willing to bet that all of us, at some point in our lives, have not had the courage and self-confidence to do what is best for ourselves. When we combine that with strong emotions (love), attachments (marriage), and personal identity it becomes very difficult to make these decisions.
Instead of blaming the victims, it would be so much better for us to applaud the courage of those that left abusive relationships, and try to support any positive change that we can.
We should not tolerate things that we know to be wrong just because it has no direct personal effect. Rather, the basis for an enlightened society is for us to protect those that cannot protect themselves.
So you admit to not knowing what happened but you're sure the woman shares the blame? :frusty:
I said "I doubt"
I didn't say "I'm sure"
Maybe you should refer to a dictionary if you have trouble reading peoples posts or have your mom help you with the words you don't understand.
