I've often said that I was born in the wrong era. I'm sure I'd get along much better in the 50's where your word and or a handshake was an unbreakable commitment. Sure you could go back on it but pride and propriety wouldn't allow you to. Today lies and BS are the norm. When dealing with people I find I'm often trying to read between the verbal gobblie goop to find what they're really saying. Nobody commits to anything, the art of being vague about what you say seems to be more important than saying what you need to say and standing behind your word. This goes for both men and women but I've found is way more rampant among men. I think a reset of sort is desperately needed where honesty and integrity can surpass the need to be able to say "that's not what I said" so that folks don't have to live up to the words they speak. Maybe it's a societal thing where we' ve gotten quickly used to hiding behind a keyboard that when it's time to speak, people say what they want with no regard for being able to stand by their word. I'm sure there's always been that type of person but it just seems to be flooding the world now. Too bad we can't bring old fashioned values back. Maybe I need to find a time machine and go back to the days od the Fonz, Richie, Potsie and Ralph. Maybe I'm just an old soul born 20 years too late.
What happened to people's word.
- Thread starter J.O. Henson
- Start date
What does he think of perb members who tell their wives their not screwing around?
Fixed it
an excellent observation, J.O. Henson and
this is very refreshing to read as a topic of conversation here on PERB.
my dad taught me those same values you speak of and I'm glad for those lessons.
maybe this behaviour stems from men trying to get ahead. make one's self look good,
while making the other guy look bad mentality. it's a common behaviour among workplace,
especially the corporate sector.
could it also be that family units are broken in this generation, leaving adolescent males
without a true father figure? 16 year old males of today are so much different from their counterpart of 20-30 years ago.
there's more pressure to get ahead, make money early and such.
Another contributing factor is now most of us live in large cities or are transient. In small communities where one may spend their whole life in the same place dealing with the same people, the consequences of being known as one whose word is no good is much greater than in a community where there is always another sucker to play.
What you're experience is something called 'false nostalgia'. A feeling of a longing for a time that never was. Like watching old episodes of 'Leave It To Beaver' and thinking, that was life was like. People have always been more or less the same. It still and always be about the company one keeps.
i don't think that is entirely true vanperb, i must admit i tend to agree with the OP on this one .
people today dont give one whit about promises they make or deals they agree too, they live too much in the "here and now" and say things largely to look good ,.for example say a single mom has the chance to interview for the job of her dreams in a different city .she cant take her young child with her and she is distressed because this job woulkd change her life . so a friend makes the grandiose gesture of saying she will stay with the babe ,she will just call in sick at work ,and its all good. but she cant call in sick because she has used all her sick days and avoids her friends frantic calls .
whose life is affected by that flippant insincere offer?. not the person who gave their word ,but rather the young mother who lives a
life full of regret for missing her one shot at a better life because she trusted a friend to keep their word.
people today just dont seem to be at all concerned for the chain of events one broken promise can trigger .so long as it doesnt affect there own personal situation then its no big deal
people today dont give one whit about promises they make or deals they agree too, they live too much in the "here and now" and say things largely to look good ,.for example say a single mom has the chance to interview for the job of her dreams in a different city .she cant take her young child with her and she is distressed because this job woulkd change her life . so a friend makes the grandiose gesture of saying she will stay with the babe ,she will just call in sick at work ,and its all good. but she cant call in sick because she has used all her sick days and avoids her friends frantic calls .
whose life is affected by that flippant insincere offer?. not the person who gave their word ,but rather the young mother who lives a
life full of regret for missing her one shot at a better life because she trusted a friend to keep their word.
people today just dont seem to be at all concerned for the chain of events one broken promise can trigger .so long as it doesnt affect there own personal situation then its no big deal
What does he think of perb members who tell their wives their not screwing around?
What does he think of perb members who tell their wives their not screwing around?
the difference between always telling the truth and integrity is that someone who says "im just being honest" is not taking responsibility for the consequences that follow. Having sex with professionals outside your marriage to deal with sexual needs that can't just be wished away is a difficult decision that is pretty common. The choice they are making to sleep with someone else is not their ideal either, but you can't force your partner to be more sexual, confident, capable, or open to alternative relationship possibilities any more than you can force yourself not to be driven to distraction or feel the weight of having a life partner that is not recognizing your needs given enough time and rejection. The decision to see a sex worker is often made because it is the least likely to worsen the situation, but likely isn't the easiest choice for a lot of men to make.
The person who thinks honesty is all you need, would do something more along the lines of have an affair or ask for a divorce and say it was because she ignored the requests he made for different or more sex.
What does he think of perb members who tell their wives their not screwing around?
the difference between always telling the truth and integrity is that someone who says "im just being honest" is not taking responsibility for the consequences that follow. Having sex with professionals outside your marriage to deal with sexual needs that can't just be wished away is a difficult decision that is pretty common. The choice they are making to sleep with someone else is not their ideal either, but you can't force your partner to be more sexual, confident, capable, or open to alternative relationship possibilities any more than you can force yourself not to be driven to distraction or feel the weight of having a life partner that is not recognizing your needs given enough time and rejection. The decision to see a sex worker is often made because it is the least likely to worsen the situation, but likely isn't the easiest choice for a lot of men to make.
The person who thinks honesty is all you need, would do something more along the lines of have an affair or ask for a divorce and say it was because she ignored the requests he made for different or more sex.
I also think it's a a big factor both on the receiving and the giving end of a lie. When one only knows 100 people, it's easier to track their reputation, and for a dishonest person it's harder to find a new sucker.
Similar effect from advances in telecommunication, internet, social networks, opening borders. Great things but they do reduce incentives to be honest.
Overall I woudn't go back in time though. On average lot of things are improving in the world.
Bummer, but nothing is easy (it really never was) and nothing stays the same forever. I understand it's tempting to be nostalgic about what seems to have been a simpler, easier time in your life. http://listverse.com/2013/02/27/top-10-reasons-life-was-better-in-the-fifties
But I wouldn't give up my modern conveniences for anything. Instead, I take full responsibility for the life I create ongoingly, and realize that it's only human to be constantly challenged by life. It's not a bad thing, and it keeps me sharp.
This wasn't a comment against technology, although it has it's contribution to the issue. It's simply that people don't stand by their word. That's just not acceptable.
There is a certain lack of conscience that comes with those who consistently break their word.
I think sometimes people say things to spare others feelings or because it seems right in the moment.
Never is, and never was...yes...
I can't stand liars, fraudsters, etc, and there are many of them around (always have been). People who can't deal with the truth and believe their own fabrications. Then they spew them on others.
Sorry to hear you got lied to J.O.. Every time it happens to me, I pick myself up and dust myself off, and give again. All I can I hope is that I'm developing better antennae and better boundaries in the process...
