I have and I would again if the chemistry was right between us. It is "work" for the lady and what happens between the couple away from work is different. I am still friends with a lady I have known for years. She has left the business, she is still single, and we meet on a regular basis for lunch or dinner or just to hang out and share a glass / bottle of wine. We are now just friends but we have maintained that relationship after many years.
*~* would you date an sp? *~*
- Thread starter Cami Parker
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Its funny I have to say I found a few of the SP's I visited to be ladies I could honestly see dating. Having said that I feel this relationship would be so hard to maintain. Not just because the SP would be having sex with other men but is this an exclusive relationship on her part or could the man continue to see other SP's. It sort of seems to me that you would be better to keep the relationship with a SP plutonic. There just seems to be no way to deny that causal sex and relationship sex are different but as many couples are open or into swinging then is it really any different. Porn actors seem to be able to split between the two but I don't know how that works in one's mind.
I think the relationship would have to be one where you would almost have to know right from the start. Anything where you tell the guy after you start dating likely wouldn't go well from that point. Not to mention for those ladies that travel..that make any relationship, sexual or family hard travel and business are simply hard on relationships.
Still there are a few girls Ive seen who I would kill for a chance to at least go on a real date because they seemed so cool. Perhaps this is where the extended and weekend dates come in?
I think the relationship would have to be one where you would almost have to know right from the start. Anything where you tell the guy after you start dating likely wouldn't go well from that point. Not to mention for those ladies that travel..that make any relationship, sexual or family hard travel and business are simply hard on relationships.
Still there are a few girls Ive seen who I would kill for a chance to at least go on a real date because they seemed so cool. Perhaps this is where the extended and weekend dates come in?
Yep. That's what the weekenders or international trips are for. As far as porn actors... I think we as SPs have a deeper emotional connection/investment than those ladies that are simply shooting a scene for tv, because this is real life. When I was shooting for HBO, even though opioid couldn't really see anything we were still having real sex, but I never felt the same connection to those actors as I do to a repeat client...
I have to agree if one becomes a repeat client its not just the sex its the connection so ya I can say I think about some of the girls Ive visited. Its not hard to become attached to someone who gives you sexual pleasure. You'd have to be a robot not to feel anything. As for the porn actors, I have heard and understand many of them work with the same people because it is more comfortable and they tend to like to use the same partners ...for a lot of reasons I imagine. I would worry about any woman in my life but that's how Im hardwired...kinda protective and I suspect its the way a lot of guys are...its separating caring/protective from controlling/domineering that a lot of guys tend to have problems with..in any relationship.
For all my bluster on the subject, my personal rule was always "never see anyone you could fall for". It just kept things simple, and prevented heart break...
Words of wisdom for sure.
I was seeing one SP virtually exclusively for a couple of years. I realized relationships are not forever so I expanded my list of ladies to visit and now I have found a nice balance; actually having a lot of fun. I see a few very nice SP's, have fun, text or email them and it's all good. :nod:
I have dated two former sp's. The first we were both quite young, and never moved in with each other or anything serious. She told me about her "past" within the first two weeks, and she cried after telling me. I told her I didn't care and I really didn't, she was with me at that time and screw everything else (we were young lol). We live in different places now, and still keep in touch once or twice a year. She has told me several devastating stories of breakups with "Mr.Right" after she discloses to them about her past...15 years ago. I can really feel for sp's who have to try and jump this hurdle, the best I can ever come up with for her is that they were never Mr. Right, but ya kinda seems hollow sometimes.
The other, well it's interesting to get told such things after being together for a few years lol! It never really left us, not that she did it, but that she held back for so long. And i'm not sure if she ever really trusted me when I told her I was %100 ok with her past, and really not ok at all with her feeling like she had something to hide, like I would be ashamed of her or something. I used to think that lack of trust destroyed the relationship, whereas now I think I never really had hers.
Funny thing is I didn't try out "the hobby" until after these events and getting single. Now that I have I wonder how it will go down when I disclose these activities to a new partner whom i'm very serious about. Funny how you can only really understand some things after doing them yourself.
The other, well it's interesting to get told such things after being together for a few years lol! It never really left us, not that she did it, but that she held back for so long. And i'm not sure if she ever really trusted me when I told her I was %100 ok with her past, and really not ok at all with her feeling like she had something to hide, like I would be ashamed of her or something. I used to think that lack of trust destroyed the relationship, whereas now I think I never really had hers.
Funny thing is I didn't try out "the hobby" until after these events and getting single. Now that I have I wonder how it will go down when I disclose these activities to a new partner whom i'm very serious about. Funny how you can only really understand some things after doing them yourself.
I only date SPs now. I gave up on regular ladies it gets to complicated other wise. When find a good SP and I like long dates and travel dates so it can roll into a so called relationship. Problem is they never last but at leastit is not as messy as so called real relationships. I am done with the games. Dating a SP is as real as it xan get.
^ This is a perfect example of two people finding balance. It wouldn't matter what they did for a living, they make it work and realize the important core values of honesty, acceptance, support, respect and love.
To Ms Lolita: After reading several posts on this topic this one is the most revealing and the one that, I believe, speaks most honestly about the concerns that would affect a relationship between an SP and a "civilian". This is an industry with complicating and often limiting factors in allowng for a mutual relationship. Foremost, in my mind, would be the male libido. My guess is that on average, despite initial vows of open mindedness, despite claims that he (especially a younger he) will be able to earnestly cope and even forget about what his girlfriend is doing "on hours", jabs of insecurity and vanity will eventually prevail. Sorry for sounding so negative but, in my mind, it takes an extremely confident and uninhibited male (or female) to navigate such a unique relationship.
I would have no trouble dating a FORMER SP.
I am one of the most open minded, fair handed and laid back individuals you will ever come across, but when I dated my last GF who was also an SP, I just couldn't let it go. I really tried to not let it get to me, but could not get past it.
Plus the fact that when we fought, (which was often) she would bring up her line of work and throw it in my face.
Also, when your GF has serviced a bunch of fellas all day, and then you want to have a go, don't be surprised if she tells you she has a headache.
Mind you, the sex, when it was on, was awesome.
So I would rather just have a "friends with benefits" arrangement with a current SP. It would save me alot of heart ache in the long run.
But that's just me.
I am one of the most open minded, fair handed and laid back individuals you will ever come across, but when I dated my last GF who was also an SP, I just couldn't let it go. I really tried to not let it get to me, but could not get past it.
Plus the fact that when we fought, (which was often) she would bring up her line of work and throw it in my face.
Also, when your GF has serviced a bunch of fellas all day, and then you want to have a go, don't be surprised if she tells you she has a headache.
Mind you, the sex, when it was on, was awesome.
So I would rather just have a "friends with benefits" arrangement with a current SP. It would save me alot of heart ache in the long run.
But that's just me.
I would have no trouble dating a FORMER SP.
I am one of the most open minded, fair handed and laid back individuals you will ever come across, but when I dated my last GF who was also an SP, I just couldn't let it go. I really tried to not let it get to me, but could not get past it.
Plus the fact that when we fought, (which was often) she would bring up her line of work and throw it in my face.
Also, when your GF has serviced a bunch of fellas all day, and then you want to have a go, don't be surprised if she tells you she has a headache. lol.
Mind you, the sex, when it was on, was awesome.
So I would rather just have a "friends with benefits" arrangement with a current SP. It would save me alot of heart ache in the long run.
But that's just me.
I am one of the most open minded, fair handed and laid back individuals you will ever come across, but when I dated my last GF who was also an SP, I just couldn't let it go. I really tried to not let it get to me, but could not get past it.
Plus the fact that when we fought, (which was often) she would bring up her line of work and throw it in my face.
Also, when your GF has serviced a bunch of fellas all day, and then you want to have a go, don't be surprised if she tells you she has a headache. lol.
Mind you, the sex, when it was on, was awesome.
So I would rather just have a "friends with benefits" arrangement with a current SP. It would save me alot of heart ache in the long run.
But that's just me.
I would date an sp. Using the same attitude as with any other woman. She must have a very big brain to keep me interested in her. Intellectual compatibility is extremely important to me. Masses frustrate me sooooo much.
Arrrggghhhh should be dumbasses frustrate me sooooo much. And this auto word crap on my tablet.
I think that sounds about right. Nice that you're so open minded...
But doesn't that take away some if the pleasure??
Hmmm... I never thought if it that way, but I see where you're coming from, how that could be a difficult situation...
I agree that if you mention it early on its much better. After that it becomes less about that and more about the secret that was being hidden for so long....
I feel bad for your friend... I feel like if someone doesn't accept me all the way that I don't want anything to do with them. But maybe if it causes such problems for her she doesn't really need to mention it if it was 10 years ago...
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