Lena the Leech from Seeking Arrangements

[newatit]

One of the more interesting operations i have seen for awhile, but probably quite common. Just not used to it. I met this gal in January as a result of looking around Seeking Arrangements, and we made contact. My first meeting was pretty straight forward, she booked and paid for a hotel room, we met, engaged, and traded funds. Pretty normal. By three weeks of this, she asked for a loan of $14,000. A joke, and I just coughed up flem at the whole idea. Told her that for which i got understanding, crying, tears, and so on. Well we tempered down the relationship, kept it on a pretty normal cash basis for a couple of months then the needs for advances and loads started coming up. Managed it well, created earning opportunities for her rather than gift opportunities for me, and things went well. Services were good, steady, no complaints. so by end of the summer, requests for amounts of $1500 were pretty common, never satisfied without benefits, and so limited. By end of August was told father died in Vietnam, not sure he did but she needed money for trip back and coffin. Like around $5000. I bowed out. But know what, she got it from some where and some body, or maybe just never needed it, not sure. Also of course, her rent came due and a few other things, but I just played broke, and guess what again, she is still in the apartment, with her mother, and no fear of moving. So yep, her rent is paid by some one again.

This gal has no scruples in phone calls and email notes inviting guys out for suppers. She prides herself in making dates for good meals in good restaurants, for which she pays nothing. After a couple of $40 breakfasts I declined the whole thing. Two were enough and evidence of her scheming. I suggested MacDonald's or reasonable facsimile only to be told she didn't eat cheap food. She doesn't. Even a meal in a Vietnamese restaurant will turn into an expensive deal. She feels the restaurant should make money and will even order for you, more than you can eat.

So I confronted her recently with the logic of her demands, and just told her that I wasn't dealing in these amounts nor these invites out, and she just told me she was finding more guys out there who would so good by.

Just for the record, the name used is close to her handle, and she lives in Surrey, frequents the skytrain, so can do a good breakfast downtown, lunch in richmond, and supper in Gastown. places where her dates and favourite restaurants are. Be aware.

Much cheaper to stay with the Perb gals.

 

[Alix Turner]

I think she was probably just a poor match for you, as she was seeking an arrangement and you were seeking an escort that didn't call herself one.

 

[tantalizeme]

Great tale from the "sugar daddy" front

By three weeks of this, she asked for a loan of $14,000... so by end of the summer, requests for amounts of $1500 were pretty common, never satisfied without benefits, and so limited. By end of August was told father died in Vietnam, not sure he did but she needed money for trip back and coffin. Like around $5000...

So I confronted her recently with the logic of her demands, and just told her that I wasn't dealing in these amounts nor these invites out, and she just told me she was finding more guys out there who would so good by.

Much cheaper to stay with the Perb gals.

Hi newatit,

Sugar daddies, who generally have deeper pockets than your average pooner, seem to come in 2 types: those with money to burn (millionaires, the occasional billionaire) and those operating within a respectable but not unlimited budget.

Glad to read, you didn't allow yourself to be fleeced like a sacrificial lamb. You've long struck me as an adventurous guy blessed with amazing smarts.

As for Lena, well...she has obviously built her existence around leeching men dry. As you found out, there're plenty of male suckers out there, and this sexy young gal (Vietnamese?) milks them for all they're worth.

Can't really blame her. Evolution makes sure that no economic niche goes unfilled, and Lena's niche sounds exceptionally lucrative.

Like you, I'm certainly willing to spring some cash for erotic gratification. But I find ladies like Lena, with an obtrusively mercenary attitude, rather off-putting.

That's perhaps partly why I personally prefer 'cheaper' girls: easier to convince myself they're not just doing it for the money.

 

[newatit]

Well actually Alix, she was not a poor match. We hit it off physically very well. She figured me out with a bit of constructive guidance on my part, and did her job remarkably well. I did find her BJ to be quite irritating for awhile till we got it right, but ok after that. No I wasn't seeking an escort, but you might refer to the gals on SA as that, but generally most are relatively low volume ones preferring one to a few dependable clients.

And Tantalizeme, you are correct. She would take you for whatever, and one other pooner wrote privately to me this morning disclosing that she had asked him for money to attend her father's funeral in Vietnam also. So while I did not pay, nor did this other pooner, some one came up with the money awful fast for her. She breaks down and cries in front of you, and tells you what a good friend you are and how she would always be there for you and what she will do. Amazing, it works for awhile, till you see it for a month or two continuously. I just finally said no one day, and she called a meeting to berate my for saying no and tell me how she would never ask me for money ever again and then proceeded a week later from Asia to ask for it.

So no big deal if you get what you paid for, but as time goes on you find slippage. She will promise to make up an amount to you, and then suddenly stops talking about it, wants to borrow more, "forgets" what she owes you and this new amount is what is in vogue. So you would go forward with the new amount rather than the accumulation of the two.

Another characteristic is that if she senses a session is being asked for, but no money will change hands because there is an outstanding amount owed, she will either dodge the session, or ask for even more money to be added to the existing amount with a reduction for the session. AT some point you realize she is closing in for the kill, a big donation based on promises of what is to come, but won't.

This gal has it thought out, but can't stand a NO answer. And even will try to work around that.

She goes by Faith on SA in the Vancouver area SA if you search. She may have changed her moxie, but the outstanding characteristics are, short, Vietnamese, not bad looking, good at what she does, but eventually a rip off.

 

[odonnell]

It sounds like there needs to be something to define what kind of arrangement each person is seeking. Two different agendas is most certainly going to result in conflict if there is no clear understanding of what the arrangement consists of. Nobody should be making assumptions about what the definition of "arrangement" is to be.

 

[Alix Turner]

Well actually Alix, she was not a poor match. We hit it off physically very well. She figured me out with a bit of constructive guidance on my part, and did her job remarkably well. I did find her BJ to be quite irritating for awhile till we got it right, but ok after that. No I wasn't seeking an escort, but you might refer to the gals on SA as that, but generally most are relatively low volume ones preferring one to a few dependable clients.

I don't call "them" anything, I was saying that's what you seem to be looking for given that

she booked and paid for a hotel room, we met, engaged, and traded funds.

was the description you offered of what you were doing with her. Also, let me clarify, sex is not the only aspect of a good match between a man and a woman in this sort of encounter. This woman was looking for a sugar daddy, someone that would be fine with taking her out, going shopping, paying her rent, and giving her money when required. You were unwilling and offended that this was what she was looking for. What seems out of line here is reporting a sugar baby on an escorting review board, for acting like she expected you to be a sugar daddy. That site is covered in language like "Attractive, intelligent, ambitious and goal oriented. Sugar Babies in British Columbia are students, actresses, models or girls & guys next door. You know you deserve to date someone who will pamper you, empower you, and help you mentally, emotionally and financially." That doesn't sound like what you were there to do.

 

[newatit]

you are correct, but I am not hear to debate all that, just to warn others that this gal has a plan to encourage you then deflate your funds. That is all. It works. She isn't interested in all the rest that you mention, and I agree that is certainly one of the intents of the site, for some gals that is.

 

[chilli]

I think she was probably just a poor match for you, as she was seeking an arrangement and you were seeking an escort that didn't call herself one.

How do you get through life being so naive?

There's a difference between arranging a "sugar daddy" relationship with a woman, and the next them hitting you up for a "loan" of $14,000 and trying to bleed you dry.

You need to give your "rose colored" glasses - an adjusting

 

[Alix Turner]

How do you get through life being so naive?

There's a difference between arranging a "sugar daddy" relationship with a woman, and the next them hitting you up for a "loan" of $14,000 and trying to bleed you dry.

You need to give your "rose colored" glasses - an adjusting

Right, because you can't reasonably expect a person in an ongoing sugar relationship to test your boundaries around how much support you are willing to provide.
Neither party goes into that kind of thing naive. He knew full well that she had expectations he wasn't going to come up to but stayed in it.
or to keep in the spirit of your idiom
There's a difference between wilful blindness and having the wool pulled over your eyes

I just don't think this is the right board for reporting a sugar baby

 

[Real Sonny Burnett]

Seeking Arrangements lists itself as the "#1 Sugar Daddy Dating Site" and they claim to be the "number one website for those seeking mutually beneficial relationships".

Isn't it expected that if a guy was to join and become a 'sugar daddy' then you are doing so to meet females that are looking for that type of relationship based on the 'sugar daddy' arrangement?

Next time try Christian Mingle.

 

[WingedHorse]

I have engaged in a few of those relationships. If done properly they can be quite beneficially rewarding. I have met several wonderful ladies who were either looking for extra income, or just wanted to pay off a certain bill. As long as what you want is expressed up front, and what she wants is expressed up front, then the relationships work well. My advice, for what it is worth, is to be clear how much you want to pay up front (which can be per date, or per month, or overall for a certain period of time), be clear that you will not pay more than this, and be clear on what you expect to get (ie how many dates, what is going to happen on those dates, etc.).

For the OP, Lena sounds like someone that would not fit into my recommendations. Thanks for the warning.

WH

 

[Ned Flanders]

Wow. Previously I had been under the impression that any woman in SA was simply somebody with a heart of gold with a few minor financial issues. The idea that there might be people on these sites who might be pathological liars out to suck their benefactors dry is shocking....just shocking.

 

[Real Sonny Burnett]

Wow. Previously I had been under the impression that any woman in SA was simply somebody with a heart of gold with a few minor financial issues. The idea that there might be people on these sites who might be pathological liars out to suck their benefactors dry is shocking....just shocking.

I bet Ned Flanders uses Christian Mingle.

 

[vancity_cowboy]

there are a few escorts using SA to ply their trade. i know, i've seen their escort ads and recognize their SA pictures. so is it kosher to reveal that knowledge on perb? i guess it depends on the guy doing the revealing

and is the person and the behaviour revealed in the original post, behaving like a sugar baby? i would suggest no. neither the tactics used, nor the amounts requested, nor the obvious multiple partners sought to defraud say sugar baby to me

it says fraud to me. she is not a sugar baby, she is a fraudulent escort of the worst kind

 

[Ned Flanders]

I bet Ned Flanders uses Christian Mingle.

Well, obviously.....who needs venal girls when you can have crazy instead!

 

[storm rider]

Jesus H Christ I am surprised the OP did not get hit for medicine for the "sick water buffalo".

To the OP...if you are that stupid you deserve to be skinned.....as Doyle Brunson said "you can shear
a sheep many times but you can only skin him once"....hopefully you dont get skinned again.

SR

 

[PlayfulAlex]

Confessions of a Sociopath, by M.E. Thomas

"I am functionally a good person—I bought a house for my closest friend, I gave my brother $10,000, and I am considered a helpful professor. I love my family and friends. Yet I am not motivated or constrained by the same things that most good people are."

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201305/confessions-sociopath

 

[newatit]

well yes, the sick water buffalo routine has been tried too. Before her father died, he was quite sick, had a motorcycle accident in Vietnam, and hospitals needed money quick to save him. Told her that he should have considered travel insurance, and if he stayed away too long BC insurance would not cover it. Funny a week or two later he had recovered just fine.
the odd day I really wonder if the money isn't going to a subversive cause?

 

[PlayfulAlex]

well yes, the sick water buffalo routine has been tried too. Before her father died, he was quite sick, had a motorcycle accident in Vietnam, and hospitals needed money quick to save him. Told her that he should have considered travel insurance, and if he stayed away too long BC insurance would not cover it. Funny a week or two later he had recovered just fine.
the odd day I really wonder if the money isn't going to a subversive cause?

newatit, you have a reputation of the nice guy who often helps out the ladies. Your original report was clearly because this lady had crossed your line. It's very obvious that you like helping, you like feeling needed, but you know where to draw the line, and that is once you feel that your kindness is now being used and/or abused.

You did the right thing by expressing your concerns, imho.

 

[erotq]

Thanks for sharing...
Sadly, a lot of women ARE getting these generous loans from guys who don't know any better. And the number of girls coming into this world is growing faster than the number of men...

One of the more interesting operations i have seen for awhile, but probably quite common. Just not used to it. I met this gal in January as a result of looking around Seeking Arrangements, and we made contact. My first meeting was pretty straight forward, she booked and paid for a hotel room, we met, engaged, and traded funds. Pretty normal. By three weeks of this, she asked for a loan of $14,000. A joke, and I just coughed up flem at the whole idea. Told her that for which i got understanding, crying, tears, and so on. Well we tempered down the relationship, kept it on a pretty normal cash basis for a couple of months then the needs for advances and loads started coming up. Managed it well, created earning opportunities for her rather than gift opportunities for me, and things went well. Services were good, steady, no complaints. so by end of the summer, requests for amounts of $1500 were pretty common, never satisfied without benefits, and so limited. By end of August was told father died in Vietnam, not sure he did but she needed money for trip back and coffin. Like around $5000. I bowed out. But know what, she got it from some where and some body, or maybe just never needed it, not sure. Also of course, her rent came due and a few other things, but I just played broke, and guess what again, she is still in the apartment, with her mother, and no fear of moving. So yep, her rent is paid by some one again.

This gal has no scruples in phone calls and email notes inviting guys out for suppers. She prides herself in making dates for good meals in good restaurants, for which she pays nothing. After a couple of $40 breakfasts I declined the whole thing. Two were enough and evidence of her scheming. I suggested MacDonald's or reasonable facsimile only to be told she didn't eat cheap food. She doesn't. Even a meal in a Vietnamese restaurant will turn into an expensive deal. She feels the restaurant should make money and will even order for you, more than you can eat.

So I confronted her recently with the logic of her demands, and just told her that I wasn't dealing in these amounts nor these invites out, and she just told me she was finding more guys out there who would so good by.

Just for the record, the name used is close to her handle, and she lives in Surrey, frequents the skytrain, so can do a good breakfast downtown, lunch in richmond, and supper in Gastown. places where her dates and favourite restaurants are. Be aware.

Much cheaper to stay with the Perb gals.