Taking an SP out socially, off the clock: any experience you want to share?

[Pillowtalk]

I do not see where he asked her to wear blue eyeshadow, He is asking her out he is going to ask questions she could say no. Unless you meet tant how can people say these things. He is a true gent, he has manners and is very polite. It is in the tne of voice.
I have said this before people judge others and you have not met them. I do not see anything wrong with what he has done. He paid he picked her up. (I did not read the whole thread just bits) I did read all of the beginning when he started thread. I see nothing wrong with what he has done.

Who cares if he prefers asians that is his choice. You know there are a few guys here that come across as total asses but when you eet them they are real and respectful.

So many people assume things. Tant is honest, he tells it like it is.

Now with that said I have in the past been out social not on the clock with clients long time clients, not a date just hangout go to the races or a bite to eat then part ways.

Not sure why you are quoting me, or referring to his preference for asians, which I don't think very many others and certainly not me even mentioned.

He mentions blue eyeshadow in post number , which I have to assume you read if you wish to comment. He is posting comments online, so I have to assume he prefers to have people think of him exactly the way he represents himself...online, not in person.

 

[luvtolick]

Isn't the point of seeing SPs to ask for crazy freaky stuff that you might have to look far and wide in your personal life for? I mean if I wanted to dress up like chewbacca and have a girl dress up in a princess leia bikini and then give her a spanking for kissing her brother, I think a sp or someone on the internet is the quickest way to go...

Lol whatever turns you on!
Point taken

 

[tantalizeme]

Unexpectedly lively discussion...maybe we can steer clear of personal aspersons?

I know that the question is HAVE I had an experience with an SP outside of the hobby, not (as I'm answering to) do I WANT to have an experience with an SP outside of the hobby. I won't name her, but I confess, there is one here in Vancouver who, deep down, I would love to. And, she would never suspect it either (that I would have that much interest in her, as a regular person, to get to know her in "real life").

So, I welcome anybody here to offer critical feedback to me on this: Am I potentially digging myself into a deep hole, by getting too attached to a certain lady? Ideal scenario, SP and I respect each other, have a good time, but know that it's "a business," and I have no "feelings of attachment" to her. But, we ARE dealing with human beings, with human emotions.

Thanks, brother Tim McGee, for chiming in and sharing that you'd "WANT to have an experience" with a certain SP "outside of the hobby." My impression is that, in general—unless they're bored, socially isolated Asians—most SPs are extremely wary about off-the-clock friendship with clients, for good reason.

I feel sorry Miss Melody seems to have taken a dislike to me. As an impressively smart and enterprising lady—who prides herself on taking a submissive role in "balls-to-the-wall" scenarios—I'd have thought she'd be more tolerant and understanding of my little erotic quirks as well.

What's all this ballyhoo about how offensive or "creepy" the bringing and ripping of pantyhose is? If (some) elite companions find even this mild fetish outrageous—whereas I've never found an Asian SP to bat an eyelash about it—no wonder so many pooners convert to the Asian persuasion.

After all, as brother Death or Glory suggested, if escort sex is just as tame as most married sex (or even tamer!), it's bound to lose much of its interest to lots of pooners.

As for criticisms about how I write reviews, well: how are we going to convey the SP experience if we don't honestly report what happens during a session? Admittedly, when you read in the cold hard light of day what people do and say in the heat of arousal, it may sound a little risqué or even "crude" to some.

But perhaps PERB isn't exactly for the faint of heart? If all pooners followed the resident white knights and went by the reviewing wishes of some ladies here, all you'd get is grovelling, white-washed reviews. Pretty bland reading, if you ask me.

As for my offhand remark about "female leeches"—if the SP I took to the dance had offered to pay her own admission, I'd certainly have gratefully declined to let her pay.

But just the offer would have endeared her to me more. Every so often a man yearns not just to be seen as a "resource" object for a lady—just as a lady may wish she weren't always treated as a "sex" object.

Thank you so much, Angie, for lending me your welcome voice of support in a seeming mini-flame war.

 

[SFMIKE]

I'm not sure if I'm the only one who sees through your eloquent words and sees a man who has some real issues with women from this statement alone. But it's not even just this but the way you reference women in your reviews, it's crude and shows an utter lack of respect, but all wrapped up in some pretty words and phrasing so I think most people just don't really notice.

So because I let my date pay my admission to a movie I'm a leech? Good grief.

BINGO

Rarely do we find a comment by ladies in the review sections, so I suspect that many of our ladies in red are not familiar with Tant's stories.

Allow me to direct your attention to the 3rd paragraph from the end: "Of course, I paid the full rate". Most of you will assume he paid the "social" rate for the time at the dance, then the full rate for the physical encounter back at her place.

But being very familiar with his writings, I suspect that he is talking about her $120/45 rate, and no social rate at all.

Tant: Correct me if I am wrong, but your reviews are mpostly about Maggie's girls, $120/45.

 

[Sleepmonger]

Rarely do we find a comment by ladies in the review sections, so I suspect that many of our ladies in red are not familiar with Tant's stories

I was under the impression that they were not allowed to comment on the reviews of others due to concerns of possible "Drama."

 

[SFMIKE]

Sleepmonger, you are likely correct. But, if they cannot comment, I would like to know if they read the reviews, especially Tant's.
It seems like Miss Melody has a very accurate read on him.

She is a lady with a great head on a beautiful body. Excellent combination.

 

[MissingOne]

Back "on topic" I think any guy who gets free social time from a SP would be smart enough not to talk about it openly here if they want to continue their free time friendship. It appears as though most are too.

Is there a difference between "getting free social time from an SP", and "spending social time with a friend of the opposite sex whom you first met as an SP"?

Putting it another way, if you first meet a woman when obtaining her professional services as an SP, does that mean that forever after, any off-the-clock time in her company is "free social time from an SP"?

This is not a question about Tantalizeme's activities. It's a case of general curiosity aroused by Miss Melody's comment.

 

[NMR]

Not sure if this is on topic or not but here goes:

I see mainly independent rub and tuggers and rub and tug GFE ladies. I have spent social time (usually a lunch) with most of them. I tend to stick to a very short list of favourites who I see pretty regularly. Sometimes there is a specific reason for the lunch like a birthday but most times it's just a pleasant hour or so chatting about common interests and on occasion I have been asked for and given a lady business or professional advice. Here is no expectations on my part of a relationship outside of the professional one but I do enjoy the company of an attractive and interesting lunch date.


I obviously pay for the lunch as its my invitation.

These social times are always attached to a professional session of an hour or more. I have only been asked to pay for social time once and I did not see that particular lady again probably more because I felt like a bit of a looser to have to pay someone to lunch with me rather than actually being asked to pay for social time.

I would be surprised if limited socializing between SP's and their regulars is a rare phenomenon.

Please forgive typos etc - done on an iPhone

 

[Sleepmonger]

Is there a difference between "getting free social time from an SP", and "spending social time with a friend of the opposite sex whom you first met as an SP"?

Sounds like in the first one the SP is only going along to ensure she doesnt lose his business as a client, and the second one more innocent. I hope the first one doesnt happen too often, it sounds kind of disturbing.

I obviously don't take issue with sexual quirks, as I stated after. Even in my personal life I love kinky stuff!
It's the ritual and dressing up of women that's creepy. There's ways to do this without coming across as a serial killer dressing up his victims.

Ritually dressing up women is a sexual quirk though, and without experiencing it there is no way of knowing if he does do it in a way that does not come "across as a serial killer dressing up his victims." We just see his reviews, and yes, based on the reviews I do find that fetish a little bit offputting, but generally harmless. Much like I find that slave-4-mistress fellow's overzealous posting in the BDSM section a bit odd.

I don't really hold it against either of them though; it's just my opinion... I'm likely offputting to many as well. As a person I would probably like tant, he's intelligent enough, articulate, and gentlemanly in a passively condescending way. I'd buy him a beer anytime; I'd just feel uncomfortable if he put me in pantyhose before trying to fuck me.

 

[sevenofnine]

@Deathandglory @tantalizeme I respect everybody's different views. Tantalize, I know that you were asking a serious honest question. I know that the question is HAVE I had an experience with an SP outside of the hobby, not (as I'm answering to) do I WANT to have an experience with an SP outside of the hobby. I won't name her, but I confess, there is one here in Vancouver who, deep down, I would love to. And, she would never suspect it either (that I would have that much interest in her, as a regular person, to get to know her in "real life").

So, I welcome anybody here to offer critical feedback to me on this: Am I potentially digging myself into a deep hole, by getting too attached to a certain lady? Ideal scenario, SP and I respect each other, have a good time, but know that it's "a business," and I have no "feelings of attachment" to her. But, we ARE dealing with human beings, with human emotions.

Thanks.
McGee.

In all honesty the answer is its up to you. Or it depends on you.
I mean should you pursue interests you have to a certain sp.

I think its a big moment when your with an sp, and you realize you like her or your friends with her, or dam you love her. And you tell her.
And she kind of says hey that is so sweet can we get together next week, and by the way it will still cost you your regular donation.
How you handle that depends on whether you should or not.
If your going to be bitter or angry or whatever, and end up mad, and just causing a lot of drama.
I guess your answer should be no.

I am an old guy and married, so for me, it was just nice to feel something again.
Doesn't really matter to me what happens between her and me. I think that is one reason why we still see each other, is I'm not at all concerned about our relationship, if it continues or just stops.
I really don't have any worries in that regard. Like I said that is why I think it works for us.
But if your going to say I love you or hey I really have this thing for you, And you need her to say I love you back or respond to that in some positive way.
If she doesn't it is mostly over between you and your going to feel like a fool and be bitter.

If you can deal with crashing and burning and feeling foolish,
but then maybe your like me don't really care, its just nice to feel those things I did so many years ago.
I think there is no answer,
Just like there would be no answer for an sp, whether or how would she deal with this scenario, it really depends.

You know its really know different I mean it could be some girl from the office you have a crush on, and she just laughs in your face,
How do you handle rejection of any kind.
Is it better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all.
Is it better to feel something and care for some one, and just enjoy the feeling, even though they don't respond to you in a way that you want or need.
In all honesty, in my experiance nobody loves you back the way you want them to or need them to.

The difference with an sp is well you can have sex with them, try that with a girl in the office you have a crush on and you just told her, and she says not interested, ask her can we at least have sex. Well with an sp you can at least have sex.

 

[Alix Turner]

You are right on one account Tantlizeme, we are nothing alike in our approach to the hobby. While you have had precisely two of these experiences, I lost count a long time ago. The details are never shared and the confidences kept because I want to maintain the relationships and enjoy their company, hopefully many times again in the future.


This is the one area of pooning where I say, keep your mouth shut. Reviews are meant for paid time.

I found it weird that he seemed to feel that there was only one good reason that ladies will turn down social requests but had somehow missed the memo about it being fairly common for Sps to prefer the company of people who did not pose the risk of coming to perb and reviewing their experience with her during activities that they enjoy in their private lives...

 

[yazoo]

There are a limited number of folks who post in the lounge. I think sometimes that gives us an illusion that we are a closed community and discussing our successes is just between friends - one big house party.

There's a certain cache about scoring an SP. There's the impression that SP's rarely date customers - so if you snag one it's a notch on the bedpost. There's also the rebellious thing of walking around with a broken social taboo standing right next to you - and everyone is oblivious.

And finally there's the opportunity -- If you began as a SP/client relationship - you can always return to that. Horny - just whip out your wallet. You can't do that with the cashier that you just made friends with.

Once the SP says "I will not have sex with you for any price. You want sex, go find an SP who looks like me", then the friendship can begin.

 

[Sleepmonger]

There are a limited number of folks who post in the lounge. I think sometimes that gives us an illusion that we are a closed community and discussing our successes is just between friends - one big house party.

There's a certain cache about scoring an SP. There's the impression that SP's rarely date customers - so if you snag one it's a notch on the bedpost. There's also the rebellious thing of walking around with a broken social taboo standing right next to you - and everyone is oblivious.

And finally there's the opportunity -- If you began as a SP/client relationship - you can always return to that. Horny - just whip out your wallet. You can't do that with the cashier that you just made friends with.

I'm a little confused now, are we talking friendships, or strictly dating SP's after hours. Dating an SP is a whole different ballgame, but I fail to see why you cannot continue seeing an SP for sex, even if you happen to be friends.

You may not be able to whip out your wallet and fuck that cashier friend of yours, but she will still ring up your purchases. My female friends who are waitresses still give excellent service when I visit their restaraunt. As long as you keep the working encounter and the social encounter completely seperate what's the difference. If I were to make my waitress friend constantly grab drinks and food while we are meeting socially just because she's a waitress, she'd probably punch me in the face. If I were to grope an SP friend while we were meeting socially just because she's an SP, I'd expect the same result. The only difference when hanging out with SP's is that their jokes turn dirty way faster for some reason.

Once the woman says "I will not have sex with you for any price. You want sex, go find an SP who looks like me", then the marrage has truly begun.

Fixed that up a bit

 

[yazoo]

Once the woman says "I will not have sex with you for any price. You want sex, go find an SP who looks like me", then the marrage has truly begun.
Fixed that up a bit

LOL! So right...

I'm a little confused now, are we talking friendships, or strictly dating SP's after hours. Dating an SP is a whole different ballgame, but I fail to see why you cannot continue seeing an SP for sex, even if you happen to be friends.

You may not be able to whip out your wallet and fuck that cashier friend of yours, but she will still ring up your purchases.

I get your point, but there is something different here. I'm not sure if I can phrase it precisely though. I think that there is a lack of equity in the relationship somehow.

People are slamming Tantalizeme unfairly I think. My criticism is a little milder. Tant enjoyed an evening with a beautiful lady - the comments from other dancers as to where did you find this lady, the fun of the evening. The lady may have accepted thinking that he was interested in her. It would appear that he was more interested in his own enjoyment and thus consumed escort services for free. Now his date did have an enjoyable evening in return for her presence. An equitable exchange? I'm not so sure.

 

[barny-stinson]

I don't view SP's differently than other women. They all like food and laughing. Be sincere, be a gentleman, and I haven't any issues hanging out with SP's off hours. I enjoy it for what it is - good company that is mutually enjoyable.

Discretion is a MUST.

 

[tantalizeme]

Thanks for the constructive response

You are right on one account Tantlizeme, we are nothing alike in our approach to the hobby. While you have had precisely two of these experiences, I lost count a long time ago. The details are never shared and the confidences kept because I want to maintain the relationships and enjoy their company, hopefully many times again in the future.

Bragging about or discussing off the clock time with SPs is not a good idea and neither is asking other guys to do so...

This is the one area of pooning where I say, keep your mouth shut. Reviews are meant for paid time.

Hey brother haymitch,

From the confident tone of most of your posts I gather, you're a guy of substance, well versed in economic matters and used to getting your way. What some of us naively assumed to be next to impossible—private "friendship" time off the clock with hugely desirable SPs—you've achieved so many times you "lost count a long time ago."

I can only say bravissimo!

But let's not be too quick to accuse anyone on this Board of "bragging." I posted my recent experience in hopes of contributing something relevant to this Board. I also want potentially interested brothers to know that Asian micro girls often feel bitter social isolation in Canada—and may sometimes be surprisingly ready to take up a pooner's friendly social invitation.

Surely, those are acceptable motives and not just idle boastfulness?

Of course, I fully realize your continued success in enjoying free social time with SPs depends on your reputation for absolute discretion. I also appreciate Alix Turner's point that the last person an SP wouldn't want to spend off-the-clock time with is a PERB blabbermouth.

But just like sevenofnine, I'm sure there're other brothers who enjoyed special SP privileges and aren't worried about telling their stories. Obviously I'd advise avoiding naming any SP—but I don't really see much harm, and definite benefit, from exploring this topic, especially if an experience happened a while ago, in a faraway place, or with someone who is no longer active.

For example, what do we say to brothers like Tim McGee who're eating their hearts out over an SP they'd like to know socially?

sevenofnine has tried to formulate a helpful response. But wouldn't it be nice if a sophisticated gent like yourself could help guys like Tim to learn from your amazing success? Isn't this part of what brotherhood on this Board is all about?

 

[barny-stinson]

But let's not be too quick to accuse anyone on this Board of "bragging." I posted my recent experience in hopes of contributing something relevant to this Board. I also want potentially interested brothers to know that Asian micro girls often feel bitter social isolation in Canada—and may sometimes be surprisingly ready to take up a pooner's friendly social invitation.

My experience has only been so far with Western SP's. I don't think the isolation you speak of only belongs to Asian's. I feel many SP's are lonelier than the average woman. The social stigmas surrounding this profession are an unfortunate by-product.

 

[tantalizeme]

...do I WANT to have an experience with an SP outside of the hobby. I won't name her, but I confess, there is one here in Vancouver who, deep down, I would love to. And, she would never suspect it either (that I would have that much interest in her, as a regular person, to get to know her in "real life").

So, I welcome anybody here to offer critical feedback to me on this: Am I potentially digging myself into a deep hole, by getting too attached to a certain lady? Ideal scenario, SP and I respect each other, have a good time, but know that it's "a business," and I have no "feelings of attachment" to her. But, we ARE dealing with human beings, with human emotions.

Myself, I'm not looking for off-the-clock time with Western SPs, though I'm always open to friendship with congenial individuals who're interested in meeting me. But I can't help imagining the following conversation between someone like Tim McGee and the SP he has set his sights on.

It's the end of another terrific session with his favorite SP Valina.

Him: "Hey, Valina, that was great. You're so good at what you do."

Her: "Oh thank you, dear. You're nice too."

Him: "Just one more thing... I've wanted to bring this up for some time."

Her: "Oh? What is it?"

Him: "Let me get straight to the point... I'd love to see you socially."

Her: "Social time? You mean, like having dinner together at your favorite restaurant? Tell me what night you have in mind, and I'll check my engagement calendar. I think you know my social rate?"

Him: "Actually, I meant...social time off the clock. You know, we could meet up as friends, shoot the breeze, walk on the beach, talk about our lives, goals, hopes, dreams."

Her: "Oh my God. That comes really unexpected. Spend time with you for free—are you serious? What have you got to offer that makes you think I'd want to do that?"

Him: "Well, as you just said, I'm a really nice guy. Not rich, but stable, and I have a warm heart. I'd like to understand you as a person. I care about your happiness."

Her: "I see you're not joking. Let me be straight with you too. You're just another pathetic worm who pays $300 to use my female assets. In real life a woman like me would be way out of your league. The last thing I need is some starry-eyed slimebag wanting to steal my precious time, so he can fawn and slobber over me for free and then boast to his friends about it.

Now get the hell out of here and never come back, you hear me?"

I wonder if things couldn't easily turn out like this for poor Tim McGee or other brothers with his aspirations—unless experienced veterans at the task of recruiting SPs as friends, like brother haymitch, are more generous about sharing secrets of their success.

 

[Caramel]

Her: "I see you're not joking. Let me be straight with you too. You're just another pathetic worm who pays $300 to use my female assets. In real life a woman like me would be way out of your league. The last thing I need is some starry-eyed slimebag wanting to steal my precious time, so he can fawn and slobber over me for free and then boast to his friends about it.

wow...just wow. You truly do have misogynistic feelings towards women.

 

[barny-stinson]

More so in Vancouver than elsewhere, or so has been my experience. I was just hanging out with Leah Madison at my place tonight, eating lasagna that I made and chatting. I rarely got the chance to do stuff like that in Van, I'm not big on the party scene so I just didn't fit in I guess. I'm not sure what it is about Vancouver but it's very isolating. I think the people there have an inflated sense of self importance and that's so not my style I just can't relate to them.

I relate myself with down-to-earth people. Do you make lasagna with an extra layer of cheese on top and let it burn a touch making it nice and crispy? That would be very tasty!

Back to topic, the isolation in Vancouver is primarily a status one. People here care more about what they own than what they offer as a human being, very clique-ish. Does making $250,000/yr and being an asshole make you more important than someone who makes a tenth of that but volunteers and cares about people around him/her?