I've never met anybody who was only attracted to one person.
Making a decision to practice monogamy is one thing, but feelings and desires are another. In answer to your question, I think it's impossible to "marry that one woman and just want sex with only her forever." It is absolutely possible to be monogamous and I think it's even possible to find "the love of your life", but you will always desire other women. What you choose to do with that desire is the question, I suppose.
Luckily (in my opinion), polyamory is becoming more mainstream, so there are options other than monogamy. I would highly recommend reading "The Ethical Slut" to anybody who is questioning monogamy and wants to explore other options in a safe, sane, and consensual way.
Thanks for your opinion Holly,
I think choosing monogamy and polygamy relates to one's fundamental values and desires. For what is "right" depends on the individual and their culture. But yes, I agree that one person is not only attracted to one other person. I myself of course can't help but use my peripherals to eye other women when I'm with a date, stopping before I get cross-eyes, or find plenty of other women attractive when I am attached.
But I wanted to enquire what people's opinions were (before my thread was hijacked by a few moronic bullies), if the lustful passion for their so-called "the love of your life" partner can be maintained long-term -a constant singular sexual turn-on to this one and only person, without adhering to the primal and/or evolutionary needs of "spreading the seed?" I feel I just have sexual fantasies of that one woman I'm attached to, if she is indeed "the one" -the whole, entire beautiful package.
When I was with my ex whom we went out for three years, I always looked at other women in public (physical attraction), but I don't recall thinking of having an urge to fuck them. I'd only fantisize about my ex (physical intimacy)... and for three years! Ah too bad we split up after a few irreconcilible differences... And some of my more intelligent friends with sincere emotions (who don't only think with their dicks), claim they only think of their wives as their sexy queen and goddess. But who knows? Given the chance we might slip and cheat and fuck things up with "the one" (maybe I just answered my own question! but then again, I never thought of cheating just for a romp).
Otherwise, loyalty and fidelity seem to be under-appreciated these days. I wonder if other's on the board, men and women, feel this singular sexual turn-on with only one partner? Or are there no absolutes? I enquire because after reading some of the postings, many men seem to visit SPs when they are married. Didn't you get married to that one woman because she was the total package -then and henceforth? Call me a nutbag traditionalist, but just an enquiry.
Polygomy is a completely different beast to me, but I'll give 'The Ethical Slut' a read. Plus you're a cutie Holly
