Escort ad doublespeak

Previous Thread Next Thread
H

Hobbyguy

New member
Apr 13, 2011
1
0
0
Winnipeg
I ran across these explanations while in the USA and had a good chuckle. Thought I would share it with the board. There is some truth to it all.

Frequently, an escort uses codewords to mask their perceived inadequacies by transforming them into an asset. Often we are asked, what does this mean or is there a glossary or dictionary, in reference to these terms, abbreviations, and acronyms.
To reduce the confusion for novice readers, I present, the pessimist's guide to decoding escort ads:

BBW = fat
Voluptuous = fat
Curvy = fat
Curvaceous = fat
Thick = fat
Rubenesque = fat
Womanly = fat
Hourglass = fat
Supersized = fat
Pic of face only? = fat
Pic of body under bedsheet? = fat
Gives bra size only? = fat
Busty = either saggy or fat
Naturally busty = saggy and fat
Real woman = saggy, fat and ugly

Slim = no boobs
Svelte = no boobs
Slender = no boobs
Dancer's body = no boobs
Runner = no boobs
Spinner = no boobs
Yoga = no boobs

Bombshell = fake boobs
Baywatch = fake boobs
Playboy = fake boobs
Model = fake boobs

Brazilian = black
Butterscotch = black
Caramel = black
Chocolate = black
Creole = black
Cuban = black
Dominican = black
Ebony = black
Egyptian = black
Eritrean = black
Ethiopian = black
Exotic = black
Hawaiian = black
Mahogany = black
Mocha = black
Mulatto = black
Nubian = black
Mixed = black

Mature = old
Courtesan = old
Gracious = old
Graceful = old
Refined = old
Elegant = old
Classic = old
Conservative = old
Original = old

Age = generally add a few years, here are some frequent exceptions:
College Student = late 20's
Just turned 18 = mid 20's
19 = possible jailbait
21 = late 20's
28 = late 30's

Intelligent = brunette
Sorority Girl = blonde
Selective = overpriced
Exclusive = very overpriced
Classy = can't afford lingerie
Freaky = doesn't shower between clients
Nasty = doesn't shower at all
Upscale = snooty personality
All American = all trailer trash
Princess = I have an attitude problem
Party girl = I'll be high on drugs
On fire = active herpes outbreak
Las Vegas = Bellagio prices, Motel 6 service
coed = plain looking with acne problem
girl next door = looks like the boy next door
Goddess = If you believe this is me in the pictures...
Real Doll = Bubba brings you an inflatable doll, no refunds
Energetic = methamphetamine addict
Down to earth = boring
College graduate = sleeps with professors
open minded = openly accepts tips
two girl show = one girl shows, one girl steals your stuff

New to business = changed name
New to area = changed name and moved across bay
Only here for a few days = staying until bad reviews run me out of town

Up to an hour = 1 shot and she's gone.
Discreet = I check your ID
Discrete = I can't spell
Advance notice required = you'll never get a hold of me
Seeks generous gentleman = ROB for the elderly
Seeks generous businessmen = ROB for out-of-towners
Once in a lifetime experience = you won't repeat
I love what I do = I'm desperate for clients.
Satisfaction guaranteed = I guarantee I'm getting your money

snowbunny = white girl with a black pimp
Available 24/7 = my pimp doesn't let me sleep
AD WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS = my pimp can't type
aD wRiTTeN iN mIxED cAsE = my pimp is learning how to type

You won't be sorry = You'll be disappointed
You won't be disappointed = You'll be sorry

CMT = good massage, bad sex
FBSM = bad massage, good sex

What an ad DOESN'T say, is also a source of information:
Unless specified, you can assume:
hair color = brown
hair length = to shoulder
eye color = brown
age = mature
height = short
weight = heavy
cup size = small
measurements = large
 
U

Umbras

Member
Jul 17, 2011
208
0
16
Vancouver
Yet another troll thread to start drama :doh:.

Move along people nothing to see, just another monkey dancing to his own tune.
 
uncleg

uncleg

Well-known member
Jul 25, 2006
5,652
839
113
Umbras said:
Yet another troll thread to start drama :doh:.

Move along people nothing to see, just another monkey dancing to his own tune.
Click to expand...

Really ??? Considering he joined in April don't you think he'd have been heard from before now ?:confused:
 
A

AA_Train

Registered AWESOME
Jul 19, 2007
768
2
18
Discrete= I can't spell made me laugh. As did On fire = active herpes outbreak and College graduate = sleeps with professors.

If he is being serious, he's a jerk but a damn funny one :p
 
E

Etro

Banned
May 14, 2011
57
0
0
asdfg1218 said:
Perb's resident moral cop at it again. Lighten up.
Click to expand...
Says the guy that just had to comment in my thread. The key part of PM is "private". Perhaps take note, before preaching to others about moral highgrounds.

With respect...
 
A

asdfg1218

Member
Jan 2, 2007
300
0
16
Etro said:
Says the guy that just had to comment in my thread. The key part of PM is "private". Perhaps take note, before preaching to others about moral highgrounds.

With respect...
Click to expand...
Once again you miss the point Etro. Nice attempt though.

I'm basically saying lighten up and don't take things so seriously. The same statement could apply to you. You already responded to my comment about your poor behaviour on this site in another thread and you feel the need to respond again? Obviously I've upset the little crybaby.... Lighten up Etro lol

BTW I stand by what I said before. You are known on this site for 1) misunderstanding what people say and then 2) making stupid responses because of your lack of intelligence and understanding. You are also known for insulting members for no reason. In the other thread people were wondering if you were a shill or pooner and why you got banned. I simply let them know you are a pooner and the reason I think you got banned.
 
E

Etro

Banned
May 14, 2011
57
0
0
asdfg1218 said:
Once again you miss the point Etro. Nice attempt though.

I'm basically saying lighten up and don't take things so seriously. The same statement could apply to you. You already responded to my comment about your poor behaviour on this site in another thread and you feel the need to respond again? Obviously I've upset the little crybaby.... Lighten up Etro lol

BTW I stand by what I said before. You are known on this site for 1) misunderstanding what people say and then 2) making stupid responses because of your lack of intelligence and understanding. You are also known for insulting members for no reason. In the other thread people were wondering if you were a shill or pooner and why you got banned. I simply let them know you are a pooner and the reason I think you got banned.
Click to expand...
You still missed MY point. It's simple and is as follows : if I wanted the conversation to be "public", I would have done so. The fact you can't see that or respect that shows your true character. Also convenient you would only post in that thread during my one-month hiatus, and not any other time - why is that? Because you thought I wouldnt be able to respond of course. So I suggest taking a look in the mirror, because the way I see it youre just another one of the many hypocrites on this board.
 
U

Umbras

Member
Jul 17, 2011
208
0
16
Vancouver
uncleg said:
Really ??? Considering he joined in April don't you think he'd have been heard from before now ?:confused:
Click to expand...
I stand corrected, my bad. I thought after the last thread "Of what not to say" someone was posting to stir things up. Was just a bit suspicious considering all the current bans going out for multiple handles.

It is not unheard of people having another handle previously set up to use at a later date if they have been banned on thier origional acct.

Edit Appologies to the OP.
 
Last edited:
A

asdfg1218

Member
Jan 2, 2007
300
0
16
Etro said:
You still missed MY point. It's simple and is as follows : if I wanted the conversation to be "public", I would have done so. The fact you can't see that or respect that shows your true character. Also convenient you would only post in that thread during my one-month hiatus, and not any other time - why is that? Because you thought I wouldnt be able to respond of course. So I suggest taking a look in the mirror, because the way I see it youre just another one of the many hypocrites on this board.
Click to expand...
I didn't reveal anything you said to me by PM in "public". I just commented on your behaviour. No one else knows anything about what we were even discussing by PM. Only that you initiated contact by requesting info and then chose to start insulting me for no reason. It must be very hard for you going through life always getting so angry and frustrated at people (I'm being sincere).

The reason I posted during your one month ban (funny how you call it a hiatus) was because people were wondering why you were banned and I responded to them. If you really think it's because I thought you wouldn't be able to respond (cause you were banned for being an internet troll, the lowest form of human existance), you are dumber than I thought.

Anyways it's all in good fun. I actually like having you on this board for a good laugh. Remember the time you made the compelling argument that we shouldn't worry about getting STI's from SPs because millions of people are dying worldwide of malaria? hahaha ahh...good times lol If I remember correctly you followed it up with a few uncalled insults to anyone that disagreed with you. Keep on posting Etro!

Well this will be my last post on this matter. I stand by everything I've said about you. Again, a few members were wondering if you were an actual pooner or a self-shilling escort and also why you were banned. I just answered their questions with my opinion. Nothing malicious was said. I don't think I did anything wrong. You chose to cry about it and carry on in that thread and now this one. Your past record on this forum speaks for itself.

If by saying you exhibit poor behaviour on this site and then telling someone else to lighten up makes me a hypocrite, then I guess I am lol. I would ask you for an explanation of this logic but I have a feeling you'll just show your stupidity and embarrass yourself once again.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Previous Thread Next Thread
Vancouver Escorts
Top Bottom