How far do you go with an SP and why?

[Boardroom]

Over the years I have read lots of reviews about guys who say they do DATY or DATO with SPs. Lots of SP reviews talk about Light Kissing and DFK.
Last time I had unprotected sex (other than with wife) was in the 80s. Last spring I couldn't resist and I DATY with a SP I see a lot in Toronto. Did not get checked and no ramifications. Seeing an SP that I really like and thinking about DFK and DATY.
I am married and would be worried about getting STD (and of course taking it home, etc.).
Wondering what other guys (particularly married guys) have to say about what they do when on a date and why?
Comments on dental dams also welcome.

 

[Pillowtalk]

I was wondering why you say no ramifications right after you say you did not get checked? Not all stds are symptomatic you know.

I would suggest, for peace of mind and also to ensure the health and safety of both SO and the sp you are seeing, to get your full checkup now. Once you know for sure, with a full report, that there are indeed "no ramifications", then you can proceed.

Also, since you are here, go to the Health forum for more facts. It is my opinion that an sp who does cbjs and never bbbjs is the sp that if more suitable for a dfk/daty encounter. Someone who provides dato/bbbj would not be someone you want to daty with, as they do expose themselves to a higher risk level. Again, for your own peace of mind and considering you are not single, you may want to make choices that reduce your exposure in general.

 

[nd1]

I would suggest, for peace of mind and also to ensure the health and safety of both SO and the sp you are seeing, to get your full checkup now. Once you know for sure, with a full report, that there are indeed "no ramifications", then you can proceed.

Also, since you are here, go to the Health forum for more facts. It is my opinion that an sp who does cbjs and never bbbjs is the sp that if more suitable for a dfk/daty encounter. Someone who provides dato/bbbj would not be someone you want to daty with, as they do expose themselves to a higher risk level. Again, for your own peace of mind and considering you are not single, you may want to make choices that reduce your exposure in general.

Those sound like very wise pieces of advice!

... although I must admit that, with all those alphabets being tossed around, I had to resort to pencil and paper to totally get "oh, right: if she does that, I'd better not do this"...

 

[blazejowski]

Getting to go DATY in probably the major reason I like seeing SPs, so without it, no thanks.
I know the risks...

 

[Boardroom]

Getting to go DATY in probably the major reason I like seeing SPs, so without it, no thanks.
I know the risks...

Not to pry... are you single or attached?

Another question to consider... Would you ever bring an SP to your residence? Again guys, identify if you are single or not and the reason why one should or should not do this.

 

[overdone]

third base, I like to try and get to third base. I feel like I got good vfm if I get that far.

 

[Marius]

If you are willing to spend intimate time with a provider that allows any activity beyond the "safe" GFE (covered), you should be willing to allow for a chance that you will take home something you did not plan. Most (all?) providers will not provide you with this STD, but at times, this can slip through the cracks (so to speak). If you are not willing to pass this allong to another (or have an explanation in hand), stay away from the other till its cleared up. Enjoy your hobby, don't make others hate that enjoyment.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

How far do you go with an SP and why?

As far as my $10.00 will take me.
Seriously there is no one answer to a question like this.
Like everything else in this hobby one must weigh the pro's and con's of any activity against their lifestyle or living situation.
Me, I'm single and don't have an SO. That doesn't mean I'm open to contracting an STD or worse.
The best thing to do is to educate yourself with the right information reagarding the "risks" of this hobby and make your own decisions from there.
You can still have a heck of alot of fun with a lady while playing safe.

Cheers.

 

[Boardroom]

Any advice or input on the use of Dental Dams for safe DATY? Is this what most people do or do you go bareback? Where do you get them?

For the married guys - There is an SP that I see regularly (I know her real name and she knows mine). If you were in this situation would you ever consider having this SP to your house (say the wife and kids are at the lake or away visiting family in Ontario). I know the common answer is gonna be what about the neighbour the wife is friends with, etc. But if all that could be handled (ie she was coming to sell you windows or a new vacuum). I know I have to make my own decisions in this hobby, but interested in hearing opinions to give me some things to think about.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

NEVER!
I don't care what anyone else might say, having this SP over to your house has so many downsides it should never be considered.
I don't care who the SP is or how reliable and honest you think she is.
Just like some decisions in business you MUST look at this from a worst case senario. If at the end of the day you can say, the worst thing that could happen is...your wife finding out and taking the kids and kicking your ass out...coming home one day to find your kids bunny boiling on the stove, etc..., then go ahead but this is a BAD idea period!

 

[Boardroom]

Thanks Jethro.....that's what I thought, I just needed to hear it from someone else and not the little guy in my head or the little guy in my pants. Just have to work a little harder and have money for hotels (she doesn't have a place for incall).

What about the fact that we've gotten to the point where we know each other's names? I mean, this is not the first SP that figured out who I was (I am in real estate and have my picture on billboards in town) and also disclosed their real name to me. I used to know Mandy's real name and I also knew the Original Jessica Rabbit's name. Do you think it needs to end?

You didn't put your thoughts about dental dams.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

Dental dams? I've used them with some of the ladies but I'm not a big fan. I prefer to go 'au natural' because a dental dam gets in the way of my technique . Then again DATY is something I usually reserve for my regulars. My major complaint is the plain latex/rubber ones have a nasty taste to them but I have also used flavored ones. I'm not sure where they come from as the lady provided them. Some are better than others.

As for SP's knowing your real name, I can sympathize but I'd be very careful. While I don't have my picture out there like you may, I've lived in Wpg. for most of my life and done lots of business here. Winnipeg is a very small city. I've always said, everyone knows everyone else by 3 degrees of separation in Wpg. I'm very careful about what I tell SP's even to the point of being blunt and nicely suggesting there are things they don't need to know or ask. I don't mean to single out SP's because there are wacko's in all segments of society (I was stalked by a collegue's assistant about 10 years ago when I was still married) but unfortunately because of the nature of our relationships and society's opinion on such, it could be very problematic. A few years ago there was a guy I met on Canbest and we became e-mail friends. He had an SP, a regular, fall in love with him or so she told him. Lets just say it turned very ugly (restraining order ugly) when she realized he wasn't about to leave his wife for her. He's since moved to New Brunswick and I think she's moved away as well.
My advice for you if you have your face plastered all over town is to see touring ladies.

 

[Badger133]

Great advice Jethro!

Dental dams? I've used them with some of the ladies but I'm not a big fan. I prefer to go 'au natural' because a dental dam gets in the way of my technique . Then again DATY is something I usually reserve for my regulars. My major complaint is the plain latex/rubber ones have a nasty taste to them but I have also used flavored ones. I'm not sure where they come from as the lady provided them. Some are better than others.

As for SP's knowing your real name, I can sympathize but I'd be very careful. While I don't have my picture out there like you may, I've lived in Wpg. for most of my life and done lots of business here. Winnipeg is a very small city. I've always said, everyone knows everyone else by 3 degrees of separation in Wpg. I'm very careful about what I tell SP's even to the point of being blunt and nicely suggesting there are things they don't need to know or ask. I don't mean to single out SP's because there are wacko's in all segments of society (I was stalked by a collegue's assistant about 10 years ago when I was still married) but unfortunately because of the nature of our relationships and society's opinion on such, it could be very problematic. A few years ago there was a guy I met on Canbest and we became e-mail friends. He had an SP, a regular, fall in love with him or so she told him. Lets just say it turned very ugly (restraining order ugly) when she realized he wasn't about to leave his wife for her. He's since moved to New Brunswick and I think she's moved away as well.
My advice for you if you have your face plastered all over town is to see touring ladies.

 

[henrysm1th]

Before you do anything, I would strongly recommend you do quick research. Spend 30 mins or so, then make an educated decision. I am sure you'll figure out what to do. Good luck

 

[theodoreBunday]

you can go all the way with an s.p. if your married or single but

Great advice Jethro!

The number one thing that drives these women is the money, so if your playing the game of you tell me yours and I'll tell you mine but the s.p. Might be a bit on the shady side and you suspect you might have a fresh faced hustler with you just scheming on how to get your wallet, you with the most honest and sincere look on your face do what any man with a secret does, you lie. Hey if you lie to a s.p. You don't burst into flames and roast in hell but if she gets her hands on your wallet with your real name and address then if your married and have kids and the s.p. With a meth habit and a few of her friends show up while you and you family are up at whistler for the weekend and you are the one who told her during some innocent pillow talk and I'm just saying, not all are like that as we all know but worst case scenaio and you come home and your place is empty and you recognize that cheap perfume anywhere cause you've paid to smell it every week. Just cause you lie about your real na$e doesn't make you a bad guy, superman and bat man, etc. They are the heros who saved the day and no matter what they kept their real name to themselves....until next time

 

[Attila the Hun]

The number one thing that drives these women is the money, so if your playing the game of you tell me yours and I'll tell you mine but the s.p. Might be a bit on the shady side and you suspect you might have a fresh faced hustler with you just scheming on how to get your wallet, you with the most honest and sincere look on your face do what any man with a secret does, you lie. Hey if you lie to a s.p. You don't burst into flames and roast in hell but if she gets her hands on your wallet with your real name and address then if your married and have kids and the s.p. With a meth habit and a few of her friends show up while you and you family are up at whistler for the weekend and you are the one who told her during some innocent pillow talk and I'm just saying, not all are like that as we all know but worst case scenaio and you come home and your place is empty and you recognize that cheap perfume anywhere cause you've paid to smell it every week. Just cause you lie about your real na$e doesn't make you a bad guy, superman and bat man, etc. They are the heros who saved the day and no matter what they kept their real name to themselves....until next time

Unless you like the BDSM/fetish of blackmail and financial domination...oh wait, I think I posted this in the wrong thread. I should be over in the Domme/sub area.

Seriously though, great tips. NEVER give out your personal info to a SP, no matter what. If you would not be willing to tell your friends or family that you see SP's, then why allow that opportunity to exist for her to expose you? It can come back to get you at any time in the future.

 

[Deepstrokes]

Well people herpes and genital warts can be contracted even while practicing safe sex.