So, this one didn’t start in the usual way. Well… actually, come to think of it, I guess it kinda did. See, I tried for the umpteenth time in the last few days to make something that I’m beginning to think is impossible actually happen…
Unidentified Lady At Elite Retreat: “What now?!?”
Rabbit: “Kendra.”
ULAER: “No.”
Rabbit: “Yes!”
ULAER: “No.”
Rabbit: “Kendra – now.”
ULAER: “No.”
Rabbit: “Kendra… later?”
ULAER: “No.”
Rabbit: “Kendra tomorrow?”
ULAER: “No.”
Rabbit: “Kendra EVER?”
ULAER: “Not looking good….”
Rabbit: “Ok, I’ve had just about enough of this...”
ULAER: “And?”
Rabbit: “And? And??? And… I’m telling on you.”
ULAER: “Really? And who exactly are you going to tell?”
Ok, she had me there. It’s not exactly like I could tell her boss… although, I confess I tried to get on her agenda for that too (with all too predictable results). And besides, is there any doubt as to where the “NRP” (i.e. No Rabbit Policy) came from? No – I was going to have to call someone else. Someone who “fixes” things. Someone who – at least to some small extent – has sympathy for the plight of a sad, frustrated rabbit. And for once, I knew exactly who I needed to call.
“Thank you for calling Extreme Bodycare – Starr speaking.”
Rabbit: “Kendra!” (I’m really not much of a talker, but either from my tone… or from past experience… she obviously got the message…)
Ms. Starr (without 'breaking stride' for even a second): “Lexie.”
Rabbit: “Oooh… Lexie?”
Ms. Starr: “Lexie.”
Rabbit: “Lexie now?”
Ms. Starr: “Lexie now.”
I actually felt pretty fortunate. Not just because Ms. Starr was looking after me – I hadn’t seen Ms. Lexie in, like, FOREVER (I don’t get out that way much, and when I’m able to, she isn’t usually working). So I started hustling my way westward….
Which took longer than anticipated (you all decided to completely re-build the city this summer?). I was fortunate, too, because I almost lost my spot to a lurking Couch Vulture (I suspect both Ms. Starr and Ms. Lexie were hesitant to let that happen, though, for fear of the potential consequences from a rodent “on the edge”… in fact, I think I overhead them tossing around the word “Unibunny”, which I doubt was a reference to eyebrows…).
So, I’m taken in, and given plenty of time to wash the “stink-o-the-day” off… no small feat, thanks to the temperature sensitivity (not a complaint – the facilities are really top notch, but I think I have a much better appreciation of the “shower” thread now). I get though it with minimal permanent damage, dry myself, and sit (surprisingly patiently) waiting for Ms. Lexie on the table.
It isn’t but a moment until she comes in, and she’s lookin’ fine. Tall. Flowing blonde hair. Wicked pretty. Magnificent lady curves where they are supposed to be. Even a big smile that mostly hid her anxiety (I suppose I should have put her mind at ease and told her I left the explosives in the car, but I was preoccupied with how pretty she is… and with how she was undressing down to her black, frilly things).
*thumpthumpthumpthumpthump*
So Ms. Lexie pulls me close in greeting… and then pushes me away. And then pulls me close again. And then pushes me away. And then makes me lie down. And then sits me up. And makes me lie down again. And then… get this… she asks me how ‘flexible’ I am. So, very nervous about where such a question might be leading, I look down at my bulbous, hairy frame, look back at her, and say “not sure, really… but if I had to guess, I’d go with something in between ‘not very’ and ‘in-‘”. To which she says “well, we’re going to try something anyways”. And I hesitantly reply “Ok… but… I really don’t wanna be the ‘girl’.” And, after a thoughtful pause, she tells me “I almost forgot how odd you are.” To which I say “odd – yes, I suppose. But I still don’t wanna be the ‘girl’.”
And that was kinda funny, because even as I was saying it, she started doing what it was she wanted to do. It’s hard to explain what it was, exactly: suffice it to say, even though my hind paws were up by my ears, I wasn’t even close to being the ‘girl’. And no one was more surprised than I about how pleasant it was.
*thumpthumpthumpthumpthump*
Yet still, she changes her mind, and mixes things up again. And again. And again. And she says “stop.” And I say “but I don’t wanna stop”. And she says “no, stop.” And I say “I’d really, really rather not.” And she says “seriously – stop.” And I say………..
….
“OK.”
And then she says “what? Why are you stopping?” And I say “well, aside from the obivious, because you told me to.” And she says “but, I don’t want you to stop NOW…”. To which I quip “yeah, I’m definitely not the ‘girl’ here.” And she zings back with “you obviously aren’t really ‘the man’, either.”
And that might have stung a little, if it weren’t that (a) it was clearly true; and (b) “real man” or not, it was so much fun playing with Lexie (she’s always been very nice to rabbits).
Then chitchat, a few cuddles, shower (better!) and eviction – all in all, a wonderful day thanks to two lovely ladies whom I really don’t get to spend enough time with.
Happy thumping, All!
Unidentified Lady At Elite Retreat: “What now?!?”
Rabbit: “Kendra.”
ULAER: “No.”
Rabbit: “Yes!”
ULAER: “No.”
Rabbit: “Kendra – now.”
ULAER: “No.”
Rabbit: “Kendra… later?”
ULAER: “No.”
Rabbit: “Kendra tomorrow?”
ULAER: “No.”
Rabbit: “Kendra EVER?”
ULAER: “Not looking good….”
Rabbit: “Ok, I’ve had just about enough of this...”
ULAER: “And?”
Rabbit: “And? And??? And… I’m telling on you.”
ULAER: “Really? And who exactly are you going to tell?”
Ok, she had me there. It’s not exactly like I could tell her boss… although, I confess I tried to get on her agenda for that too (with all too predictable results). And besides, is there any doubt as to where the “NRP” (i.e. No Rabbit Policy) came from? No – I was going to have to call someone else. Someone who “fixes” things. Someone who – at least to some small extent – has sympathy for the plight of a sad, frustrated rabbit. And for once, I knew exactly who I needed to call.
“Thank you for calling Extreme Bodycare – Starr speaking.”
Rabbit: “Kendra!” (I’m really not much of a talker, but either from my tone… or from past experience… she obviously got the message…)
Ms. Starr (without 'breaking stride' for even a second): “Lexie.”
Rabbit: “Oooh… Lexie?”
Ms. Starr: “Lexie.”
Rabbit: “Lexie now?”
Ms. Starr: “Lexie now.”
I actually felt pretty fortunate. Not just because Ms. Starr was looking after me – I hadn’t seen Ms. Lexie in, like, FOREVER (I don’t get out that way much, and when I’m able to, she isn’t usually working). So I started hustling my way westward….
Which took longer than anticipated (you all decided to completely re-build the city this summer?). I was fortunate, too, because I almost lost my spot to a lurking Couch Vulture (I suspect both Ms. Starr and Ms. Lexie were hesitant to let that happen, though, for fear of the potential consequences from a rodent “on the edge”… in fact, I think I overhead them tossing around the word “Unibunny”, which I doubt was a reference to eyebrows…).
So, I’m taken in, and given plenty of time to wash the “stink-o-the-day” off… no small feat, thanks to the temperature sensitivity (not a complaint – the facilities are really top notch, but I think I have a much better appreciation of the “shower” thread now). I get though it with minimal permanent damage, dry myself, and sit (surprisingly patiently) waiting for Ms. Lexie on the table.
It isn’t but a moment until she comes in, and she’s lookin’ fine. Tall. Flowing blonde hair. Wicked pretty. Magnificent lady curves where they are supposed to be. Even a big smile that mostly hid her anxiety (I suppose I should have put her mind at ease and told her I left the explosives in the car, but I was preoccupied with how pretty she is… and with how she was undressing down to her black, frilly things).
*thumpthumpthumpthumpthump*
So Ms. Lexie pulls me close in greeting… and then pushes me away. And then pulls me close again. And then pushes me away. And then makes me lie down. And then sits me up. And makes me lie down again. And then… get this… she asks me how ‘flexible’ I am. So, very nervous about where such a question might be leading, I look down at my bulbous, hairy frame, look back at her, and say “not sure, really… but if I had to guess, I’d go with something in between ‘not very’ and ‘in-‘”. To which she says “well, we’re going to try something anyways”. And I hesitantly reply “Ok… but… I really don’t wanna be the ‘girl’.” And, after a thoughtful pause, she tells me “I almost forgot how odd you are.” To which I say “odd – yes, I suppose. But I still don’t wanna be the ‘girl’.”
And that was kinda funny, because even as I was saying it, she started doing what it was she wanted to do. It’s hard to explain what it was, exactly: suffice it to say, even though my hind paws were up by my ears, I wasn’t even close to being the ‘girl’. And no one was more surprised than I about how pleasant it was.
*thumpthumpthumpthumpthump*
Yet still, she changes her mind, and mixes things up again. And again. And again. And she says “stop.” And I say “but I don’t wanna stop”. And she says “no, stop.” And I say “I’d really, really rather not.” And she says “seriously – stop.” And I say………..
….
“OK.”
And then she says “what? Why are you stopping?” And I say “well, aside from the obivious, because you told me to.” And she says “but, I don’t want you to stop NOW…”. To which I quip “yeah, I’m definitely not the ‘girl’ here.” And she zings back with “you obviously aren’t really ‘the man’, either.”
And that might have stung a little, if it weren’t that (a) it was clearly true; and (b) “real man” or not, it was so much fun playing with Lexie (she’s always been very nice to rabbits).
Then chitchat, a few cuddles, shower (better!) and eviction – all in all, a wonderful day thanks to two lovely ladies whom I really don’t get to spend enough time with.
Happy thumping, All!
