*~* would you date an sp? *~*

[Cami Parker]

SoOo.... I'm currently single and loving it. It uncomplicates my life. However, I have had relationships in the 6 years I've been in this business. Of course, in the interest of full disclosure, I strongly believe you must always always be 100% honest about what it is you do when perusing a relationship of the dating/"monogamous" nature. I have had some boyfriends who couldn't care less.... I tell them once they say ok, and never think about it again as they believe (correctly) that it doesn't effect our relationship. I have had boyfriends that absolutely love it. They think it's so hot and want to use detailed accounts of my exploits as fodder for our own personal sex life. I've had guys that thought they were ok with it initially, but found themselves unexpectedly driven insane with jealousy (needless to say, that didn't work out! Lol) And I've had guys that have said "No Way! Thanks, but No Thanks! No Judgement!" (Understandably so, I'd say.... I don't necessarily blame them for their stance on the issue... I don't like to share either lol)

So the question is this:

GUYS: Have you/Would you date an SP? Why or why not?

LADIES: Would you care to share some of your "real world relationship" experiences while working? I prefer running my business while blissfully unattached... Makes my life easier... How about you?

I CAN't wait to hear everyone's insight. I'm sure it will be fascinating.....

 

[PlayfulAlex]

Being single is the best choice for me, but that`s just me!

This is a great topic, that has prompted lots of discussion on various threads over the years...

https://perb.cc/vbulletin/showthrea...-dating-the-escort-they-were-seeing-or-client

https://perb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?188595-excellent-article-on-dating-sp-s

https://perb.cc/vbulletin/showthrea...-A-popular-quot-spinner-quot&highlight=dating

https://perb.cc/vbulletin/showthrea...riend-know-what-you-re-doing&highlight=dating

 

[uncleg]

 

[Cami Parker]

Awesome that you're so open-minded!

I think something about that first intimate all out sexual session is what really starts out a real boyfriend/girlfriend relationship on it's proper natural journey, so as long as money wasn't involved the first time you had sex with someone it can all be good.

 

[Cami Parker]

Wow, what. An awesome thought process. More guys should be like you...

You can't force people to do things in life. But if a certain job makes a person happy, then you accept that going in. If money ( who makes more etc ) wasn't an issue, rendevous times ( client sessions ) were not bought up, a reasonable time was being spent together and fun times as a couple are planned ( like a real relationship ) then I would give it a go . What stays within us, stays within us .

I'm single now but if and when I meet that special person......I'll be with her because
A) I WANT to be with her and
B) I LIKE HER for who SHE is.

You choose to be with her for better times and the worse of times.

 

[Cami Parker]

Funny stuff!

 

[Feenix]

If I was 30 years younger, I don't think I would have a problem dating an SP. I would be a swinger if I had a partner who was so inclined. There is little difference, IMHO.

The pic above reminds me of one of my early dates after I arriving in Vancouver. I will try to make this the Coles Notes version.

I was using one of the personals' sites to meet women, and met this tall lanky one and her roommate at a well known diner in town. I was not sure if the roommate was there for support, or if this was to be a threesome. Turned out to be the former. Anyway, there was no attraction between me and the tall lanky one, but we stayed in touch for several months.

At one point she took a trip to Vegas, and when she came back she told me about meeting some guy and having the most amazing sex with him. "Great for you!", was more or less my response.

Some where along the line she called me on the phone, and was very tentative. She took a while to say, "I am a transgendered male." At that point I was not surprised.

The reason for her gushing over her Vegas lover was that he was her first lover since her "makeover".

She terminated our contact when I tried to tell her, after a boyfriend broke off their relationship, that most men would have a very hard time going out with a transgendered woman, and that it would take an exceptional man to accept that. She could not believe that, and said, "If that is the way you feel, we can't be friends." I never heard from her again.

There is a very close parallel for men dating a hooker or former hooker and a she who used to be a he.

A good SP friend was dating a gentleman for several weeks without telling him of her past. When she did, he immediately ended their affair. She is unsure now whether she will ever tell a non-client about her activities in various bedrooms. It must be very hard for SP's and retired SP's to decide what, if anything, to tell a lover about this life.

Only one of my male friends knows about my hobbying, for the same reason.

 

[PlayfulAlex]

snip...I would be a swinger if I had a partner who was so inclined. There is little difference, IMHO.

I find this to be a rather odd comment, coming from a true veteran.

Do you really think that your lady would be enjoying herself as much, on the job, as she would if she wanted to swing with you?

Or would you want her to support your desire to swing, because she's getting lots of extra sex at her job?

Or would you only see a sex worker/ girlfriend, who liked swinging?

 

[Ms.Lolita Monroe]

I am all for the civilian NSA relationships/sex however since the time I have stepped into this industry I have not been in any kind of relationship where I would call the person "my boyfriend". Just like you Cami I feel like it keeps my life simple and uncomplicated. It frustrates a lot of my civilian gentlemen friends that I am putting up a wall and am not eager to build a relationship with them.

1) I don't want to reveal my secret and take a risk of an ugly breakup followed by an angry ex outting me
2) I don't want to feel guilty every time I am in an enjoyable session
3) I HATE LYING TO MY LOVED ONES
4) One day or another he will throw it on my face
5) I don't want to be treated differently because I am/was a sex worker

The only guy who could not understand why I did not want a relationship became so obsessed that he found my backpage ad and emailed it to me. He was trying to show he was being understanding and NOT jealous at all. This is the same man who felt the need to punch a guy because he grabbed my ass AND we were in an establishment where my guy worked.

My question is how long is too long to wait to tell a guy what you REALLY REALLY do? Because I don't see myself telling a guy unless its starting to get serious and wouldn't that be too late?

 

[Feenix]

I find this to be a rather odd comment, coming from a true veteran.

Do you really think that your lady would be enjoying herself as much, on the job, as she would if she wanted to swing with you?

Or would you want her to support your desire to swing, because she's getting lots of extra sex at her job?

Or would you only see a sex worker/ girlfriend, who liked swinging?

Alex, I was referring to having a life partner who would accept swinging as a life style, not a Provider as a partner/swinger.

And, my current partner would not condone my hobbying, if she knew about it. Nor does she have any inclination to swing, which answers your last question.

 

[Feenix]

My question is how long is too long to wait to tell a guy what you REALLY REALLY do? Because I don't see myself telling a guy unless its starting to get serious and wouldn't that be too late?

I don't think there ever is a right time. It all depends on the guy. If you tell someone you like up front, you run the risk of his saying, "Thanks, but no thanks." If you delay until you are "in love", then you run the risk of his saying, "You have not been honest with me. Thanks, but no thanks."

Either way it is a risk.

My ATF is getting out of the business. I often wonder how/what she is going to tell the man who steals her heart.

We men, who knowingly date an SP or former SP, will have to have strong constitutions to be able to walk down the street with our lady and not wonder if every guy who smiles at her is smiling because of a tryst he had with her, or because he likes what he sees today. An insecure man will not be able to deal with that.

 

[Ms.Lolita Monroe]

Ms. Lolita, with all due respect....and I mean most utter respect. You bring up a lot of very crucial points. But like anything in life, this is NO guarantee's. Sad but true. To tell someone that you are and SP....no one can tell you that answer. You yourself can answer that because every situation with a guy is and will be very different.

But, please....please don't paint all of us guys ( and I realize your not ) with the same brush. I say this because people tend to with both men and woman. We can go on and on about this...but no need to. All us guys are not the same. Some are a lot more understanding than others.....that can come with maturity as well. All depends on the individual. If you 2 are open, honest etc.....I strongly doubt there would be a problem.

If he does have an issue etc going forward and after knowing all of this......he isn't worth the time and effort then.

Real and true friendships take time with honestly, respect, communication and the like with each other.

Again....you take, or be with someone for who she is!! I'm a guy so I say " SHE ".

I understand where you are coming from and I appreciate the fact that you acknowledge that I am not painting all the guys with the same brush. I am not necessarily saying that its because of the men that I choose not to be in a relationship and trust me I do believe that there are men who will react, adapt and accept in a very mature manner. I am simply pointing out my own insecurities and fear. I hate the sadness that comes over me after each breakup and my heart still breaks when I think of my last relationship. I would hate it if someone who says hes loves me and cares for me leave me/hurt me because I am a sex worker.

I have seen a lot of ladies have successful and healthy relationships while doling this job but all I am saying is I personally cannot do that because of the reasons mentioned previously. I apologize and want to clarify if I made you or any of the other gentlemen feel that I am referring to ALL men, I am not really referring to men but just about how I would complicate my life.

'Real and true friendships take time with honestly, respect, communication and the like with each other.

Again....you take, or be with someone for who she is!! I'm a guy so I say " SHE "."

I dearly hope someday I will find someone who will feel that way towards life, friendship, love and myself. ( Not flirting with you )

 

[Ms.Lolita Monroe]

I don't think there ever is a right time. It all depends on the guy. If you tell someone you like up front, you run the risk of his saying, "Thanks, but no thanks." If you delay until you are "in love", then you run the risk of his saying, "You have not been honest with me. Thanks, but no thanks."

Either way it is a risk.

My ATF is getting out of the business. I often wonder how/what she is going to tell the man who steals her heart.

We men, who knowingly date an SP or former SP, will have to have strong constitutions to be able to walk down the street with our lady and not wonder if every guy who smiles at her is smiling because of a tryst he had with her, or because he likes what he sees today. An insecure man will not be able to deal with that.

Hmm so you are saying its either win win or lose lose?

So I guess at the end of the day what really matters is how these two people(former sp and bf) feel for eachother, how their personalities are etc? Every situation most definitely varies and you are right the circumstances will determine when/how to tell your significant other or to even tell them.

Since you gave me such a rational answer feenix I have another question for you. I think the answer would differ from person to person and how one perceives the rules/ethics of a romantic relationship. Say I quit my job right now and 5 years down the line I meet the love of my life do I HAVE TO tell him? Does "whatever is in your past remains in your past" work in this situation? lol

 

[normisanas]

It depends on why she's an escort.
If she's in it to make money to save it for her future or the future of her family, and then get out, then she's dating potential.
If she's in it because of general horniness, a lavish lifestyle, gender politics, drugs, gambling, sexual exploration, looking for a potential suitor, then no way.

 

[The Lizard King]

Tough subject for me since I've never under any circumstances fucked around while in a relationship or knowingly fucked around with someone else while they are in a relationship. I don't know whether it's a personal integrity thing or what but being that way certainly would throw a wrench into things as far as this scenario goes.

Obviously there are a lot of people who do fuck around on the side, they make their decisions and justify it to themselves so it's not for me to be judgmental, but if they get caught and it ruins their lives, they're certainly not going to get any sympathy on my part.

 

[Cami Parker]

Wow... Great story, thanks for sharing!
I agree, it's not easy, and a lot of men are not that comfortable with it. I still feel like you have to be honest, however.

If I was 30 years younger, I don't think I would have a problem dating an SP. I would be a swinger if I had a partner who was so inclined. There is little difference, IMHO.

The pic above reminds me of one of my early dates after I arriving in Vancouver. I will try to make this the Coles Notes version.

I was using one of the personals' sites to meet women, and met this tall lanky one and her roommate at a well known diner in town. I was not sure if the roommate was there for support, or if this was to be a threesome. Turned out to be the former. Anyway, there was no attraction between me and the tall lanky one, but we stayed in touch for several months.

At one point she took a trip to Vegas, and when she came back she told me about meeting some guy and having the most amazing sex with him. "Great for you!", was more or less my response.

Some where along the line she called me on the phone, and was very tentative. She took a while to say, "I am a transgendered male." At that point I was not surprised.

The reason for her gushing over her Vegas lover was that he was her first lover since her "makeover".

She terminated our contact when I tried to tell her, after a boyfriend broke off their relationship, that most men would have a very hard time going out with a transgendered woman, and that it would take an exceptional man to accept that. She could not believe that, and said, "If that is the way you feel, we can't be friends." I never heard from her again.

There is a very close parallel for men dating a hooker or former hooker and a she who used to be a he.

A good SP friend was dating a gentleman for several weeks without telling him of her past. When she did, he immediately ended their affair. She is unsure now whether she will ever tell a non-client about her activities in various bedrooms. It must be very hard for SP's and retired SP's to decide what, if anything, to tell a lover about this life.

Only one of my male friends knows about my hobbying, for the same reason.

 

[Cami Parker]

I agree! True attraction starts in the mind....

Thanks Cam! Im always open to friendship . To me, thats always the best way to start. I'm still believe in old fashion values......truth.

 

[Feenix]

Hmm so you are saying its either win win or lose lose?

So I guess at the end of the day what really matters is how these two people(former sp and bf) feel for eachother, how their personalities are etc? Every situation most definitely varies and you are right the circumstances will determine when/how to tell your significant other or to even tell them.

Since you gave me such a rational answer feenix I have another question for you. I think the answer would differ from person to person and how one perceives the rules/ethics of a romantic relationship. Say I quit my job right now and 5 years down the line I meet the love of my life do I HAVE TO tell him? Does "whatever is in your past remains in your past" work in this situation? lol

You summarized my answer too a Tee, Ms Lolita. It depends completely on the individual. Some men will say, "So what?", while others will be hard asses, and say, "Next."

I would not dare to give you advice on whether to tell or not to tell without knowing you and him very well. And even then I would probably say, "It is your call."

I will never tell my partner, current, past, or potential future, about my involvement in this hobby. There is too much risk of ending the relationship. Nor will I tell any of my males friends unless, as one did, they give a hint that they would understand, or even be hobbyists themselves.

I was a member of an investment club that had a well known provider as a member also. I asked for advice on here whether or not I should approach her and tell her I knew of her secret identity. One PERB member also knew her professionally and as a member of that club. I think he also knew who I am in real life, but never identified himself to me. As it turned out, I did reveal my knowledge to this SP, and we became friendly, as a result. I did not see her professionally.

Although I doubt the other male in this story will ever out me, I have some unease about someone knowing who I am without knowing who he is.

I need tell no one here, that many outsiders do not appreciate our involvement or interest in this hobby. It has a seedy reputation, and they feel uncomfortable knowing or talking about it. I feel uncomfortable watching programs on TV about prostitution with my partner, just in case I give something away with my reaction or conversation. I get very guarded, and try to watch them by myself.

 

[hedgeman]

Yes i would, one or 2 in particular i'd love to have a relationship with ;-)

 

[87112]

Yes, when you get older you will take almost anyone.