Differences in the way women and men talk
Scientists estimate our species (Homo sapiens) developed language approximately 250,000 years ago. The reason men talk differently than women today is due to how their brains evolved differently through daily use over the past quarter-million years. Men were the hunters and concentrated on ways to effectively stalk, kill and transport home the catch-of-the-day for the family group or tribe. Hunting was serious business and required creativity, cleverness and physical endurance -- but it did not require much talking.
While the men were away on the daily hunt, the women tended the children and worked in groups for safety while gathering roots, berries, nuts etc. They talked much of the time while doing their chores and improved their relationship within the group of women.
At the end of the day when the family came together in the cave, hut or wherever, there was not much discussion between men and women due to few shared interests, other than security, eating, sex and sleep. (Has much changed today?) This daily living pattern was quite consistent and made a distinctive difference in how men's and women's brains developed differently to process language. Researchers using brain imaging technology have identified that males primarily use only the left hemisphere of their brains when talking and listening. However, the brains of women showed activity on both the left and right brain hemispheres. This indicates much more capacity and complexity in dealing with language. It is well known by teachers that from an early age girls have stronger language skills than boys.
Recent human life style is very different than how our millions of ancestors lived. Yet, men and women today tend to maintain the old style of talking patterns because the brain has not had time to evolve to fit today's life style. Much like in the computer world, all too often we are using obsolete hardware and software to do a new job. Here is a comparison of how men and women talk differently:
Women speak and listen faster than men. Women in a group can even all talk at the same time and make it work!
Women speak in a softer voice and use pitch and inflection to emphasize points. Men speak in a louder voice and use volume to emphasize a point.
Women sound more emotional in normal conversation because they use approximately 5 tones. Men sound more monotonous when speaking because they only use approximately 3 tones.
Women stick to one topic for a long time until all present have added their comments and feelings on that subject before moving to the next subject. Men don't spend as much time and interest on anything, especially abstract concepts dealing with 'feelings' and emotions.
Women reveal their feelings, private lives and relationships easily. Men hardly ever do!
Women want to talk about relationships with people. Men talk to emphasize their high status.
Women want to discuss and explore all aspects of a topic and spend more time on it than men like.
Women try to strengthen relationships with others by discussion. Women ask more questions about what others think.
Women make indirect accusations, i.e. "Why do you often do that?" Men make direct accusations, i.e. "You always do that!"
Women like to relate but men rather debate.
Women interrupt all others less and allow others to interrupt them. Men interrupt others more and allow fewer interruptions, especially from women.
Women are more cooperative when talking. Men are more competitive with talk.
Women show concern and try to establish empathy and support for others. Men try to fix things and give advice to others.
Men are opinionated and want to resolve problems quickly, often not studying the situation.
Men try to be an authority on everything and ask fewer questions.
Scientists estimate our species (Homo sapiens) developed language approximately 250,000 years ago. The reason men talk differently than women today is due to how their brains evolved differently through daily use over the past quarter-million years. Men were the hunters and concentrated on ways to effectively stalk, kill and transport home the catch-of-the-day for the family group or tribe. Hunting was serious business and required creativity, cleverness and physical endurance -- but it did not require much talking.
While the men were away on the daily hunt, the women tended the children and worked in groups for safety while gathering roots, berries, nuts etc. They talked much of the time while doing their chores and improved their relationship within the group of women.
At the end of the day when the family came together in the cave, hut or wherever, there was not much discussion between men and women due to few shared interests, other than security, eating, sex and sleep. (Has much changed today?) This daily living pattern was quite consistent and made a distinctive difference in how men's and women's brains developed differently to process language. Researchers using brain imaging technology have identified that males primarily use only the left hemisphere of their brains when talking and listening. However, the brains of women showed activity on both the left and right brain hemispheres. This indicates much more capacity and complexity in dealing with language. It is well known by teachers that from an early age girls have stronger language skills than boys.
Recent human life style is very different than how our millions of ancestors lived. Yet, men and women today tend to maintain the old style of talking patterns because the brain has not had time to evolve to fit today's life style. Much like in the computer world, all too often we are using obsolete hardware and software to do a new job. Here is a comparison of how men and women talk differently:
Women speak and listen faster than men. Women in a group can even all talk at the same time and make it work!
Women speak in a softer voice and use pitch and inflection to emphasize points. Men speak in a louder voice and use volume to emphasize a point.
Women sound more emotional in normal conversation because they use approximately 5 tones. Men sound more monotonous when speaking because they only use approximately 3 tones.
Women stick to one topic for a long time until all present have added their comments and feelings on that subject before moving to the next subject. Men don't spend as much time and interest on anything, especially abstract concepts dealing with 'feelings' and emotions.
Women reveal their feelings, private lives and relationships easily. Men hardly ever do!
Women want to talk about relationships with people. Men talk to emphasize their high status.
Women want to discuss and explore all aspects of a topic and spend more time on it than men like.
Women try to strengthen relationships with others by discussion. Women ask more questions about what others think.
Women make indirect accusations, i.e. "Why do you often do that?" Men make direct accusations, i.e. "You always do that!"
Women like to relate but men rather debate.
Women interrupt all others less and allow others to interrupt them. Men interrupt others more and allow fewer interruptions, especially from women.
Women are more cooperative when talking. Men are more competitive with talk.
Women show concern and try to establish empathy and support for others. Men try to fix things and give advice to others.
Men are opinionated and want to resolve problems quickly, often not studying the situation.
Men try to be an authority on everything and ask fewer questions.
