Ugh, support wanted from the Perb

dipsett

Active member
May 19, 2013
562
64
28
East Vancouver
How do y'all get over issues in which you have no control?

I've been dealing with the same problems for a couple years .


Feeling guilty about past choices i have made, And I'm just trying to move on.

Any advice? Lace me with some game y'all.

Thanks.
 

sevenofnine

Active member
Nov 21, 2008
2,016
9
38
I think you have to identify your feelings and understand them. Where do they come from and why.

Often there are many many things buried deeply, that never come out to years latter.

I think you always have a choice, to be there or not to be there, so its not true you can't do anything about, you can always just take a walk from whatever it is.

I think if its something you can't walk from because of your duty or repsonsiblilites you take strength from that, your doing what is right the situation is shit, but I am at least doing what is right.

You know as an old guy, and a guy who had a lot go down and my life hasn't been easy at all. I look back and ask was I responsible for all the shit in my life, no it was caused by just the terrible situation I was in, that I did not cause.

Sure I could have handled it better, but it could have been a lot worse to.
So you can take comfort in the fact that the trouble in your life, was not caused by you.

If what ever is happening in your life, is your fault,
then you own it. You stand up, and go yeah to who ever and the world, I did this, I fucked up.
And you move on. You apologize you do what you can to make it better, then your done.

I think at times it doesn't hurt to find some one to talk to. Lets your mind focus give you options.

Hope it helps.
 

sevenofnine

Active member
Nov 21, 2008
2,016
9
38
I think too.

Sometimes you just have to endure and experiance things.
You become a better person for it.

I like to write and draw, ok.


And I can tell as soon as I pick up a pencil my emotional state of mind.
But I think it makes me better, to have gone through things experiance things. Good and bad.

I don't think I would be the person I am if I did not go through it all.

Im working on a picture now Gretz when he was sixteen years old.

It really is funny but I don't think I could do it justice if I wasn't who I was.

You have to find a way to like yourself.
 
How do y'all get over issues in which you have no control?

I've been dealing with the same problems for a couple years .


Feeling guilty about past choices i have made, And I'm just trying to move on.

Any advice? Lace me with some game y'all.

Thanks.

Hey babe.

Guilt is a tough one. You just need to read a few self help books or at least get a therapist you can talk to for an hour a week.

IDK what happened or how long ago it was, but there is no point in looking back when we will never be there again. You have to look forward.

We have all made mistakes and some we might regret. But they make us who we are. Stronger.



Everyday people struggle with personal issues. Sometimes it is hard to move on, but that is the only choice you have.

I always think of this line from Eminem - "Success is my only option, failure is not".

xox

 

Man in Submission

Active member
May 28, 2013
466
28
28
Okanagan
Not trying to be funny here, but I find intense physical exercise helps me deal with old demons. The worst thing to do is sit around and dwell on it.

Just focus one entire week, as much of your free time as you have, do some sprints at the local school field. Go to the gym and try not to 'coast' between sets. Work up a real sweat, don't hold back - grunt and groan if you need to and let the emotions out. Pound the heavy bag, push yourself harder than you ever have. Resolve to stay in the 'zone' for the entire week, don't give in to fatigue. Just keep going.

I think you might be surprised at how healing an emotional release like that can be.

Well, we are all different and respond to different stimulation. That's just how I deal with things. When you're hurting, nothing good can come from inactivity and constant sadness and regret.

All the best though, bro. I am sure everyone here is pulling for you!

MIS
 

sofine

New member
May 6, 2013
202
0
0
Not trying to be funny here, but I find intense physical exercise helps me deal with old demons. The worst thing to do is sit around and dwell on it.

Totally agree with this. I find excersize (running is my particular therapy) really helps clear the head. Sometimes before a run I feel totally overwhelmed and stressed. Afterwards, everything seems so much clearer and in focus. Love it.

Yoga too really helps. Different effect. Totally chilling versus the energizing of running. But both good.

Good luck!
 

Pillowtalk

Banned
Feb 11, 2010
1,037
3
0
Guilt = make amends. If you feel guilty about past choices that harmed or hurt someone (or someones) seek forgiveness and apologize to them directly. It will give you closure as well as show that you are taking responsibility for your (past) actions. It will allow you to let go of that issue.
 

PlayfulAlex

Still Playing...
Jan 18, 2010
2,580
0
0
www.playfulAlex.com
How do y'all get over issues in which you have no control?

I've been dealing with the same problems for a couple years .

Feeling guilty about past choices i have made, And I'm just trying to move on.

Any advice? Lace me with some game y'all.

Thanks.
Hi BC_BABE,

I guess we just know different people then.
I don’t look down on anyone who needs help, I just think people should try it on their own first and not give up too quickly.
Wasn't that the OP's whole point? That he's tried it on his own and doesn't feel that he's been successful at dealing with whatever it is?

I think BC_Babe nailed it; if you're not having any success on your own, seek professional advice. You'd do the same thing for your taxes, home renovation, life insurance, stock market investing, vacation planning, etc, etc...why wouldn't you do it for your personal problems?
 

PlayfulAlex

Still Playing...
Jan 18, 2010
2,580
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0
www.playfulAlex.com
Hi PlayfulAlex,

You’re taking my comment out of context.

...snip for brevity...

I do believe that I had previously apologized for making a drive by post lumping you and another poster unfairly.
At the time, my impression was that you accepted my apology.
Are you still angry about that, or have a wronged you in another way since? :confused:
Not at all...I never was angry at you! I really thought that you had missed the point about the OP saying he'd kinda given up on his current methods, and was seeking new ideas. So far, I thought that all the ideas that have been suggested had some merit, yours included.
 
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