To contact old classmates on Facebook (or not)....your thoughts

[cruiser]

I recently added my profile on Facebook. I was never in any hurry to add my profile when Facebook hit the net as I thought it was more for the younger generation. (i'm in my mid 40's)

In saying that, I started looking up classmates from highschool to see if they were on Facebook (It's been over 25 years since I graduated from grade 12). I've found more of the "popular" kids from school. I was never in the "in" crowd, so never had a lot to do with these people. There were a few that I maybe said "hi" to...but never really hung around with.

So, I've been contemplating on whether I should start "adding" these classmates to my Facebook page. Most probably will remember me....probably say "hi" and not much else. Our school was smaller (graduating class size was 50 people)....but people were in their "cliques".

If I do contact them, most would want to know 1) what do you do for a living 2) how much money do you make (or guess it from your job)...and 3) how much weight have you gained or hair that you lost. (This is just based on the few that I have run into in my home town, etc.)...our community is very superficial.

Have others taken the same path..and how have they handled it. Have they contacted former classmates? We really don't have anything in common except that we spent upto 12 years of our lives together (some came in after grade 1). I guess I would be curious to see what people are doing or where they live..beyond that I don't know.

I don't know....I thought I would put it out here for feedback.

Your thoughts?

 

[Evan]

I was hesitant of Facebook at first for contacting high school friends, but it has turned out to be an interesting adventure. I would suggest you make your profile public and place your profile in your high school grad class list (every school is listed). My advice would be to only contact those people who you really want to reconnect with. If you didn't have anything in contact with a person while in high school, you most likely won't have much in common now. As an added benefit, you might actually get lucky. I had a couple old high school girls contact me. We were friends in high school but never dated. They are now divorced and hot to trot. Let's just say that one-on-one high school reunions can be quite a fun experience!!!

 

[cruiser]

Evan:

Can you tell me where in facebook you add your name to the "grad" class.

I did list my high school and it asked the year that I graduated...what is there beyond that?

Sounds like you got lucky by using Facebook !!

 

[FloridaGuy]

By all means contact them!! You are all adults now. There is no more "in crowd". They are husbands and wives and parents and bosses and soccer moms and on and on. Totally normal people. They are on facebook to connect with family and friends. They have ALL changed physically and financially and emotionally, the high school "in crowd" stopped hanging around together YEARS ago, and aren't remotely as judgemental as they were. The risk is that you seem to have matured not very much, if you still harbour the same social fears as you did 25 years ago, and that will of course be a turn off for other adults who are WELL past the foibles of their high school years. They could not care less how much you weigh or if you're bald or how much you earn. High school for God's sake! Its for high school kids, not adults. So....contact them, be nice, be normal, and hopefully you'll make some new friends.

 

[cruiser]

By all means contact them!! You are all adults now. There is no more "in crowd". They are husbands and wives and parents and bosses and soccer moms and on and on. Totally normal people. They are on facebook to connect with family and friends. They have ALL changed physically and financially and emotionally, the high school "in crowd" stopped hanging around together YEARS ago, and aren't remotely as judgemental as they were. The risk is that you seem to have matured not very much, if you still harbour the same social fears as you did 25 years ago, and that will of course be a turn off for other adults who are WELL past the foibles of their high school years. They could not care less how much you weigh or if you're bald or how much you earn. High school for God's sake! Its for high school kids, not adults. So....contact them, be nice, be normal, and hopefully you'll make some new friends.

Thanks for the feedback.....I guess I should go into it as you suggest and see how they respond. I'm sure everyone has found their own way in life and has let go of those types of beliefs that they held on from those highschool days.

 

[Eva~]

An SP FB EXP.

The past should stay in the past.

I have a lot of...well I wouldn't really call them "friends" on FB...they are just a bunch of people that I used to know.

In fact I am thinking of removing most of them, since really the only contact that I ever see is an update on their status and all the annoying application invites.

And I really think its amusing when someone you went to school with 20+years ago sends a message and asks "Hey! What's up?". Um geez which year of the life and times of me are you asking about?

And really, if I made such an impression on you more than 20years ago that you felt compelled to try and Facebook me, wouldn't we have kept in touch all these years???

In my case, it gets a little awkward when the questions about what I do for a living come up.....first comes the "your a massage therapist??? Cool!!! Hey where do you work? I could really use a massage!!"

Sigh...I'm not that great of a liar and one lie always leads to another... So I would rather just try to stay away from having contact with facebookers to avoid all the nosey questions.

But that is just my experience as an SP.

If they are not in your present, then I think they should stay in the past.

 

[WWTDD]

Retrosexual

Time magazine just did an article about that very thing. Contacting old flames or crushes.

Here's the article:

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1921609,00.html

For fun I was thinking of messaging my first girlfriend as she still lives in my hometown.

I've found a couple of old girlfriends on Facebook but would only contact the ones I knew were single. Haven't looked for high school or college classmates. The ones I want to be in contact with I already am.

 

[Harmony-bc]

When I first joined facebook, I got the hey, long time no talk, you look good, so what are you doing for a living these days. I answer such questions so vaguely. Oh nothing really much, just working lots, so whats going on with you ?

I put into my status bar, please put all questions into the form of a compliment I like facebook. Its a great way to see whats going on.

 

[planetsmurf]

the best is normally i won't recgonize a name but then when i see their face there name rings a bell. but over the last year i have had 4-5 people add me on facebook and i have no clue who they are. i check to see if we have any mutual friends or not and sure enough we have like 10-20 mutual friends from my high school. but still no clue who they are.

ps as anybody else gotten people from brooklyn adding you on facebook and msn? over the course of one month i had 3-4 random people add me from there.

 

[mistressfreyja]

Intrusive...

I've always felt the networking sites to be a bit intrusive, and have never signed up with my real name.

I value my privacy (for obvious reasons), and frankly, does anyone really care what I am doing 24 hours a day???

1pm: eating lunch, comprised of a glass of milk, a nice bowl of soup, and a salad.
1:20: finished lunch, and having a potty break.
1:23: greatly relieved, contemplating life.
1:25....etc...

 

[Kevin101]

I hated all the social networking sites(my space,nexopia,hi5 etc) and didn't get the point of them so I never joined them. I thought they were a big waste of time. However, when my friend sent me a request to join Facebook I had to accept it because it was soo big so, fuck it why not. First week I was like addicted to all the apps and shit but then it slowly start to die(for me).

I personally find Facebook and other social networking sites pretty dull and boring. The only good thing that I find intresting is when everyones birthday is.

I probably go on Facebook like 5 mins just to see the first page and if there is anyone's birthday.

 

[cruiser]

I really think its amusing when someone you went to school with 20+years ago sends a message and asks "Hey! What's up?". Um geez which year of the life and times of me are you asking about?

And really, if I made such an impression on you more than 20years ago that you felt compelled to try and Facebook me, wouldn't we have kept in touch all these years???

If they are not in your present, then I think they should stay in the past.

I read your response with some identical feelings and thoughts...if a person (or people) were genuinely interested in me, they would've made an effort to stay in touch....and I can say the same about myself. I will admit that I didn't extend the olive branch alot....I kept to myself.

Some people might say "I had no way of getting a hold of you because your phone number isn't listed in the phonebook"...I would respond "yes, it's still not listed"...but my parents are in the phonebook and it would've been easy to find me...plus I also come from a small town, so finding me or a family member wouldn't be hard.

I'm still tossing it up...I only added my FB account this week so haven't gone out and started adding all of these people.....we haven't spoke since highschool....what would we have in common???

 

[Evan]

Evan:

Can you tell me where in facebook you add your name to the "grad" class.

I did list my high school and it asked the year that I graduated...what is there beyond that?

Sounds like you got lucky by using Facebook !!

____________________________

To find high school people on Facebook:
Log in to your account
Click on "Friends" at the top of the page
Click on "Find former high school classmates" near bottom of page
Use the Classmate Search section
Enter "school name" and "grad class year"
Click "search for classmates"

Things have changed since I signed up. I'm not sure how you list your name in your grad year. Does anyone else know? It might be in your Settings or Groups section.

 

[HB40]

Your thoughts?

I have been to two reunions since graduation, that was enough! I did take some joy in seeing most of the in crowd people have aged the hardest. My best friend who was quite the ladies man is balding, fat and not a stud at all anymore. Funny how the tables turn, I never got laid in highschool and now he is so envious of me. Another friend who had his pick of the girls is now gay, he told me recently that I was always the one he was checking out in the showers after gym, kind of weird but oddly it was an appreciated stroke of my ego.

But yeah, I have no desire to keep in touch or facebook with them. Actually I have never even checked out facebook or tweeter or any of those sites.

 

[Eva~]

My best friend who was quite the ladies man is balding, fat and not a stud at all anymore. Funny how the tables turn, I never got laid in highschool and now he is so envious of me. .
.

I understand that completely. I was quite the loner in highschool, and was a late beauty bloomer
So to speak. Any of the guys that never even looked twice at me now express how much they wished they had. I rather enjoy a good ego strokin myself!