Time to change tactics?

[Toon]

So, when I first started thinking about entering this world, my first plan was: " I want to try a Redhead, and a spinner with small boobs, and a super-fucking-hot-big-breasted-babe, and an asian chick, and a black chicks, an EI, a barely legal chick, and... and... and...."

Well, I've managed several of those (and others not originally on my radar).

But after all that, I'm remembering the girls I've seen and I'm pondering over what made the experience good for me. I think - when 'shopping' based on stereotypes, the results can be hit and miss. Don't get me wrong - I've enjoyed every single experience. However, the ones that keep coming back into my memory are those where I've made more of a connection... the conversation was not forced... I felt comfortable either right from the get-go, or very shortly thereafter.

I think it's time to look now for girls that I'm more likely to connect with. The sex is almost secondary. Maybe it's time to consider looking for someone that can become a 'regular'.

Thoughts? Similar feelings? Advice?

 

[Booker_E]

I think it depends what you're looking for. Like you, I started off with a "list" (still on my list are an EI, black chick). And like you, I've been able to check a few off but often I deviate (what can I say when the urge hits you just become less picky).

For me though, the most memorable experiences definitely go back to the sex. When I think back it's those SPs that made me feel like a king in the sack while having a good idea of what I liked/was looking for. Perhaps coincidentally or not, I found these were typically the ones I found easy to talk and chat about things before or after the session. Mind you, for the most part the ones I connected with I'd probably not rank the highest in the looks department. Nor would they fit my "ideal" body type in an SP.

So yes, I'd say connecting is definitely an important part of the whole experience. For me though I've sort of settled into a pattern of trying new SPs and mixing in visits with a couple of regulars that I've seen previously. I love the variety but sometimes you just want to know exactly what you're getting and not have to worry about all the unknowns of trying out a new girl.

 

[pacnwus]

Some of my most memorable experiences were not ones where I felt an exceptional personal connection with the SP. These were memorable experiences because of the level of sexual enthusiasm they displayed, combined with the extreme physical attraction that I had for them. I have to click with an SP to some degree, but finding somebody who I share X, Y, and Z in common as fodder for discussion is not my primary goal in doing this, even if it does enhance the experience. I regularly have interesting conversations with all sorts of people, including many who I have no sexual attraction to. I can have conversations with my friends or with strangers at a bar, and they are free.

 

[Bartdude]

I have gotten to the point where I have one or two regular ladies that I click with. They both have individual things that draw me to them, but one thing they both share is that our time together is always quality time. You get to a point (most of us, anyway, I think) where you want more than just good sex, or the particular things that turn you on or get you off. Intimacy, conversation, and chemistry start to mean more than the actual physicality. Don't get me wrong, I still prefer a certain body type and have my favourite things in the bedroom, but at this point, the whole package is what I want - and I have no need to look elsewhere.

I currently see one of two ladies on a monthly basis. There is a third that I consider if my other two are away.

Each and every time I leave feeling fulfilled, and not feeling like my investment could have been spent better elsewhere.

 

[Dickson]

Ok Bartdude who are they?

 

[blazejowski]

I still am fulfilling my sexual "bucket list" but I would say 2 out of every 3 SP's I see aren't a part of it, they are just girls that catch my eye in the right way...

 

[newatit]

well after a few years at this thing, here are my two bits. I had similar interests to the original question, and like him fulfilled most of my fantiasies, but now it has been several times over. And as a look back it taken, I could rate most of the repeat experiences as great. things seem to get better with repeats and with getting to know the gal. It is correct that personality and that "do we click" in whatever ways, is very important. So yes, for a long time I had a couple of 'interests' within a small group of SP's and that worked very well. More fun talking, and as said, sex was important but the relationship took on its own importance. Had quite a few of those. Now, well, I am happy to just spend my time with one, doesn't stop the opportunity of dropping into an amp or MP elsewhere for alook see, but I just haven't had the interest nor inclination to step outside the circle lately. So I walk out of those amp's happy to think I have something much better. Yes, you just have to meet your goals on these things then move on.

 

[Bartdude]

Ok Bartdude who are they?

They're not in Berlin

 

[Toon]

So, if I'm reading these responses right, I'm not unique here.

I think I'll be revising my short list and leaning more toward girls I hope to repeat with, as opposed to just making a check mark against a bucket list.

And looking back over my list of 'accomplishments' and thinking of those I'd like to make a regular thing: One has retired, one is in Victoria and only tours this area rarely. Another (who I really enjoyed my time with and as an aside had great sex) is a 'specialist'. so, None of the remaining are quite yet what I think I'd like for repeat business.

Oh Darn.... must keep sampling.

ps.. to the 'specialist'... "I'll be back"

 

[badbadboy]

So, when I first started thinking about entering this world, my first plan was: " I want to try a Redhead, and a spinner with small boobs, and a super-fucking-hot-big-breasted-babe, and an asian chick, and a black chicks, an EI, a barely legal chick, and... and... and...."

Well, I've managed several of those (and others not originally on my radar).

But after all that, I'm remembering the girls I've seen and I'm pondering over what made the experience good for me. I think - when 'shopping' based on stereotypes, the results can be hit and miss. Don't get me wrong - I've enjoyed every single experience. However, the ones that keep coming back into my memory are those where I've made more of a connection... the conversation was not forced... I felt comfortable either right from the get-go, or very shortly thereafter.

I think it's time to look now for girls that I'm more likely to connect with. The sex is almost secondary. Maybe it's time to consider looking for someone that can become a 'regular'.

Thoughts? Similar feelings? Advice?

I have been the same way as you looking at a huge smorgasbord of SP's and wanting to try them all. Asian Micros, Craigslist hotties, the group of "weebly girls" and a few other Indy's too.

After a while of finding some very mechanical experiences were leaving me with an empty feeling afterwards, I changed tactics and sought more of a GFE experience that was more mutually satisfying for me and the SP. This is when it struck me that repeating with a select few would offer me the 'connection' both physically and mentally too.

Thing is you will find that when you are months or in my circumstance a year and a half down the road with a SP, the sex is not secondary and continues to get better.

 

[sevenofnine]

i have to agree with the orginal poster,

when i started this i went for a wide variety of experiances and no complaints for the most part.
but after sampling what was out there and was repeating with girls
my choices were not necessary based on sex, sometimes yes,
but paying a women, i found it was alot easyier to pay someone i actualy liked and had a connection with

and in the end if i repeated with a women just because of her sexual prowess it all fell apart i couldn't keep it going with her.

i met two women pretty much my first and second experiance in this, almost a decade ago
and im still seeing one pretty regular, and after seven or so years it feels more like a relationship then anything, we stay in touch when were on holidays or experiancing other down time, she knows everything there is to know about me, and well i know a hell of alot about her,
its just nice friendly and nice. sex is important but not the main reason why i see her, any sp will give you sex. just not everyone you like connect with have chemistry with.

and being with some one so long has its disadvantage that emotionally it can get complicated
but im lucky in that regard that im married and have made up my mind im staying that way,
so in a sense it takes all those emotional things out of it, it doesn't really matter, what i feel for this lady, my marital status is not going to change.

i think if your looking for a relationship whether your a women or a man in this, your in the wrong place
but if your looking for something to spice up your life, it can be very enjoyable with the right women.

 

[Dickson]

Well said 7of9. In Europe the idea of a mistress paid or unpaid is very common. Most successful men have them. Like you I have gained a great deal of "friendships" however most go sour over time. This is especially true when the real world collides with this fantasy world. I try and keep the two as far apart as possible. Sometimes the two will come together but you have to really be careful. All of the repeats left due to other relationships that came into thier life. Ie old boy friends, husbands or due to children who needed more than what I could provide. I got pulled into some crazy situations over the years. So good and some not so good but all experiences I would not change.

Most of my memorable experiences over the years has been with ladies I repeated with they are the ones that stick in my mind. I have never been married to women but I have always been married to my work. I guess that is why this "hobby" is the ideal situation to have the best of both worlds.

So Toon I am with you regarding finding ladies you can connect with. The days of the wild sex all night are gone now for me. I want SP that I can connect with. I guess I am getting old.

 

[Dgodus]

Lots of factors involved with good sex. Gotta be honest with yourself with what you do/don't like and what has/hasn't worked in the past. Good place to try different/new things to without any extra drama that can potentially arise otherwise relationships? Don't really agree with seven. You could have something like that just know it's one sided, remember to keep your head on straight, definitely best if you keep it to yourself, most importantly keep your head on straight (you could get taken for a ride you don't wanna go on). Besides relationships with expiration dates or that can be put on hold for lengths of time can be fun and stress free.

 

[sevenofnine]

i think another big disadvantage of seeing an sp for friendship a mistress companionship what ever you want to call it is money

sex takes what fifteen minutes and your out the door, a glass of wine a conversation takes alot longer

i guess you could ask the lady for a discount seeing your a regular and such a nice guy all in all or expect free social time.
i have been with a women for along time and we have discussed it, money and rates and possible discounts for me, etc.

and she was open to it.
but at the end of the day, i pay her what i have always paid her.

i guess in part, i don't want to cross the line and make this a friendship its a business relationship we have even though its a friendly one. like i said im staying married,
and it just seems wrong, if were friends, and i can afford to pay her it just seems wrong to sort of ask her for a discount,
like i said i have seen her for over seven years, i got a raise every years, but her rates have gone down if anything,
but i still pay her what i always paid her,
it seems like the gentleman thing to do. but yeah,

i think most men in this are well more concerned about dollars and cents. and value for your money.
shots on goal.
i think there is another way to look at this,

 

[susi]

can i ask...do youse guys feel like it maybe seasonal as well.....? like in the fall everyone starts coupling up for winter and in the spring everyone's out fucking anything that moves....?

just wonder if our animal side plays a role in whether we feel the mental or physical attraction, both in play but leaning to one side over the other as a result of genetic breeding mechanisms....

over the years...ehemm...i have certainly noticed the springtime "surge" and the end of summer/ fall desperation to find a mate amongst the men i have known...or at least i think i notice it....i would never presume to claim to understand men's hearts...pants....you know what i mean....

love susieXXXO

 

[Dgodus]

Urges are definitely more noticeable with the onset of spring could be animalistic or simply people coming out of their winter "funks". Personally I never have the urge to "shack up" in the fall/winter as I'm active with alot of sports. Having a SO during this season is actually detrimental and always ends in an argument which she'll never win.