The Most Exotic Places You've Masturbated

[Jizzmopper]

Ok everybody, here's an idea for a funny thread:

Where is the most exotic, strange, or just plain unusual place you've jacked off?

I'll start:

It was actually just the other day, I jacked off in a McDonalds washroom. I came all over the walls. It was funnier than shit. Just something about seeing a pile of jizz running down the wall in front of the toilet of a McDonalds.

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Are you still in the "Mile High Club" if you jack off on an airplane? Or does that make it the "Half Mile High Club?"

 

[sheena west]

My most unlikely place to masturbate would have to be while I was working at a pub as Bartenter, and there was a customer that was soooooo beautiful, that I couldn;t stop staring, He was completley oblivious to me, which made it more and more exciting to the point point where I stared to fantasize dirty bad things and caught myself rubbing myself intently and discretly behind the beer taps staring at him so hard that the waitress had to yell my name twice before I actually heard her. Anyways, I made good money in tips that night from the people sitting at the bar.

 

[chuck1561]

My most unlikely place to masturbate would have to be while I was working at a pub as Bartenter, and there was a customer that was soooooo beautiful, that I couldn;t stop staring, He was completley oblivious to me, which made it more and more exciting to the point point where I stared to fantasize dirty bad things and caught myself rubbing myself intently and discretly behind the beer taps staring at him so hard that the waitress had to yell my name twice before I actually heard her. Anyways, I made good money in tips that night from the people sitting at the bar.

If only I had known miss Sheena

 

[hitrack]

When I could ditch the magazines and look at....no, no gaze in wonder at the 3 pics....make that dirty pics I had downloaded on my 386 sx25 and my 2400 baud modem.

I had call waiting soz curse your dumb ass if you called and bumped my connection. Thank god for Z modem.

 

[samantha_van]

heheh

Dressing rooms in sears!

 

[nowayjose]

Have you ever spit off a bridge and watched it fall? Let's just say I was walking over the Lion's Gate very late one night and the thought struck me how funny it would be to watch something else fall. hehe I've always wanted to tell someone that story but thought it was a little much to share with anyone I know. The one and only time I've ever done something like that in public.


Edit - by the way you can't see anything fall very far at night. I hope it hit a seagull. That would be poetic justice!

 

[yeahyeahyeah]

Hope that the wind was at your back LOL

I'm sure that there are some "interesting" things caught on tape from the security cameras in those dressing rooms

 

[chuck1561]

I'm Still

fantisizing about being behind the bar with Sheena

 

[wolverine]

Does a HJ from a stripper in a peeler bar in the Caribbean count? That's about as exotic as I have gotten. Dirty, now there's a longer list.

I don't know if this counts or not, but at the last Edmonton PA I attended, we were at Diamonds (not an official PA per se, but more of an informal PERB beer-and-greet with trawler, here's mikey, Herman, Right Said Fred, LongLasting, Melanie, Sydney, CJ, light eyes and a few others). I had my eye on this really hawt-looking South American peeler, so I took her to the private dance area (trawler paid). We were breaking all kinds of rules behind that curtain, as she kept rubbing that exquisite naked body all over me the entire time. By the middle of the 3rd song, I had emptied my sac into my boxers. After we parted, I calmly wandered into the men's room, went into one of the shitters and wiped up my mess. Then came out and ordered another drink with the others. I didn't say anything about it to the guys.

 

[Herb_The_Perb]

Hope that the wind was at your back LOL

I'm sure that there are some "interesting" things caught on tape from the security cameras in those dressing rooms

Is that legal?
Sounds like an imnvasion of provacy, since people are getting undressed there.

 

[Greattongue]

Not very exotic but I was way too early at the airport and had lots of time to kill. I had to be mega quiet with all that traffic!

 

[chuck1561]

Oh gawd... now this is a thread I like

My office, store room and washroom at work... Gee, I wonder why I left the office world?

In my car waiting for the ferry.... and in my car on the ferry.

On the airplane... a couple times.

Sitting in the passanger seat driving down the I-5.

That's a start!

not to self...remember to offer Paige to chauffeur her around where ever she wants to go

 

[Mchatte]

Change room guilty here as well. I believe it was in Walmart and the change room was pretty central to the building. The change room had a gap at the top of a few inches where you could look out. Trying out a pair of pants and when I went in the change room I noticed a really hot girl looking at the clothes. She was wearing a halter top and tight shorts. When I got inside the change room, I dropped my pants to put the others on but I peeked out and this girl was in plain view. Reached in may pants pocket for tissues, dropped my shorts and jerked off while staring at her. If anyone saw me with a glazed look, then that is what I was doing. Did not see it on any hidden camera show either.

M

 

[yogi]

Urban myths or real stories thread?

Originally Posted by Jizzmopper
"I jacked off in a McDonalds washroom"

I don't believe you. It never happened. You set the tone for this thread as a place for urban myths to rival the "wierdest sp encounters" thread.

Here's mine, actually happened:
Very hot chick lived down the hall from my apt 12 years ago. She was getting it but good, & was not at all shy about vocalizing her approval. I stood just outside her door, listening & enjoying. I slid my hand under my pants & whacked off right there. I wasn't exposed, but had anyone seen me it would've been clear what I was up to. Luckily, it was 3 am & no one was around.

 

[static]

Worked at a video store, jacked off behind the counter while watching a food fight movie.

Was at a customers home, while they were out, phoned the chatline, met up with a "Mistress" who instructed me to put on the lady of the house's underwear and shove a pair in my mouth. I came hard. It was so hot, didn't hear the lady return. Somehow didn't get caught.

Btw, sorry to all the customers who lost their free chatline accounts

 

[ilikebeer]

Can't resist.

Early 80's, some small beach somewhere in Greece--I've long ago forgotten the exact location. I was backpacking through Europe and hadn't cum in ages. Semi and full nudes everywhere, bronzed oiled bodies, including a couple of German girls next to me only a couple of feet away. I couldn't handle it anymore. Swam out into the cove and around a huge rock only about 25 metres from the shore. Held onto the base of the rock with one hand, stroked myself furiously with the other, and soon dropped an enormous load onto the sea floor. The water was so clear and calm, I could see it settle in one large clump on the bottom. Can't remember the town, but I remember the moment often.

Yes, true story.

 

[nowayjose]

Sitting in the passanger seat driving down the I-5.

That reminds me ... driving up to Kelowna solo. Just rubbed the outside of my pants until I came. Hard to drive like that.

 

[dbrw42]

While doing road watch in -40c at Camp Wainwright.

 

[schizo_man]

lol meester wolverine, the exact same thing happened to me at diamonds.... would have been about a year ago, recieved a dance from a very hot blond gal. emarrased the hell out of me, but I left with a smile on my face.

 

[Jizzmopper]

dude....thats fucking disgusting.....there are a ton of kids who flow through McD's and you're spraying the walls with your cum.....nice!
what a tool
oh.....and McD's isn't exactly "exotic"
HFS

Ok, Let me explain my story a little more in a bit more... graphic detail. That way maybe you will at least know why I spread my Jizz all over the wall of a McDonalds.

Like I said, it was just the other day. My friend and I decided to go visit Disneyland. Being in So Cal we have the annual pass and cruise up there from time to time.

While there we noticed a whole lot of hot chicks there. And no, I'm not referring to kids, if any of you sickos are thinking that. I estimate that day we saw between 10 or 20 girls that I'd classify as a 9 or higher. Also, maybe it is the vibe of the Happiest Place on Earth, but I saw a whole lot of public displays of affection. Lots of hot chicks making out with their boyfriends.

Basically with all that excitement, by the time we were on our way home, I had a whole lot of energy that I needed to relieve, and fast. Trouble was, I was not alone in the car, and I was looking at a 1 & 1/2 hour long drive back home. That's when my friend suggested we visit a McDonalds and get a drink. We were thirsty...

I thought that was an excellent idea. I suggested my friend go in and order us a drink while I go to the can and "take a shit."

So I'm in the can getting a job done and just about to fire off, but I forgot to prep ahead of time and had no ready tissue in my hands. I didn't feel like using my hands to prevent a mess, because then I'd get them all dirty, and what if someone walked in while I was walking toward the sink with jizzy fingers. So for lack of a better alternative I stood up and aimed for the nearest target, the left wall.

After firing off my load and observing my surroundings it was all I could do from busting out laughing right there. The thought of some uptight patron walking in to the stall to take a shit and finding a huge wad of jizz in front of the toilet and on the wall was almost too much. I quickly walked out of the washroom. But as soon as I saw my friend waiting in the lobby with drink in hand, I lost it. I laughed my way out of the McDonalds lobby and in to the car.

I confessed what I had done and we both had a great laugh home.

And that's the inspiration for this thread. While it was not a very exotic place, to me it was at least a very strange place. And did I mention funnier than shit? I suppose you had to be there...

Oh damn, almost forgot about "the kids".
I totally apologize if any little kid got any of my jism on themselves, believe me, that wasn't the idea. I would feel really...wierd... if I knew that happend.

Hopefully like I said, some customer probably saw it and complained and some McFlunky cleaned it up quickly.