sp information etiquette

[Sultan]

Recently, I emailed a fellow pooner to ask about an sp I was planning on seeing. My questions about the sp were quite general, having to do with personality and any activities she might enjoy ( dancing, etc.) The pooner is someone who sees the sp in question regularly, so that's why I thought I would ask him.

Shortly thereafter I receive a hostile message from the sp asking me why I am emailing her clients? She was very upset that I was 'backchanneling', and apparently I had caused some ill will with the pooner I emailed as well.

This caused me some distress since the last thing I wanted to do was upset the sp I wanted to visit. Yet I receive pm's and emails asking me the same kinds of questions about sp's I've visited. So I thought it was normal, or at least acceptable.

I guess my question is: Did I do anything wrong? And if so, what...and what is the proper etiquette for asking for information about sp's? Are we not to know anything beyond what is revealed in a review?

Confused

 

[yoniluvrca]

I would say that you did nothing wrong if all the questions asked were about general level of service etc. The hostile email tells you loads about the Sp in question. ie. She has a hostile streak.

 

[Sultan]

I actually didn't ask about service since she has excellent reviews and I figured I'd find that out for myself anyway. Perhaps 'hostile' is too strong a word. But she was upset, and was not rude to me.

 

[yoniluvrca]

And maybe she was just having a bad day. Don't take it too personally

 

[Sultan]

I asked what her personality was like, if she had any quirks I should know about, and asked for any other advice that might help make my visit go a little smoother. I didn't ask for any kind of toe or bunghole report or anything like that. It was exclusively about personality and any hobbies she might have. That's it.

 

[Sultan]

No, I am just a little choosy about who I see and was just curious about her personality.

She was upset that I had said to the pooner that I was 'thinking about' or 'planning to see her' (I can't remember exactly how I phrased it) and that this potential visit was considered no one else's business, and that it violated her privacy as well as making the client I contacted jealous. She considered this to be backchannel gossip.

What gets me is how my email to the pooner I contacted ended up in her knowledge.

 

[stryker]

the pooner in question is the one that was relaying the info you asked about,,,,,,thats where it came from Sultan.
maybe next time,make sure you make it clear that any exchange of info is held in trust and not to go anywhere but the two of you and you shouldn't have this problem.

 

[Penhold]

....as well as making the client I contacted jealous. She considered this to be backchannel gossip.

What gets me is how my email to the pooner I contacted ended up in her knowledge.

Do you think that just maybe he broke the PERB backchannel code of conduct and told her?

Why don't you cut and paste the contents of your original email here (delete specific references to anything that can identify the pooner or SP if you like) and I'm sure you'll receive no shortage of comments as to whether you asked something to which an SP could take offence.
Perhaps she thought you were trying to get more information on her private life than she was prepared to share (e.g. activities and hobbies that she might enjoy, which appears to ask for a lot more than the services she might enjoy providing).

 

[Very Veronica]

twat chat

Sultan, you did nothing wrong, imho...i can only hope that the pervy cyber highway is possitively clogged with salacious gossip about me!

 

[LonelyGhost]

I got a pm about my post and have deleted it by request.

Don't ask because I won't tell but I do respect the person who asked.

 

[tom25]

Sultan,

Unless you're not telling us something, you did absolutely nothing wrong. These sorts of inquiries are made all the time through pm's. nothing wrong there. Nor should a sp have any objections to it, as far as I can see so long as the conversation is about the nature of her service.

It does tell you to avoid the whole situation, and you learned about one fellow pooner who perhaps shouldn't be trusted.

Tom