Met an SP, saw her a couple of times, and really hit it off. We are similar in age, lots of shared interests, and have some pretty deep and personal conversations. After a session, we shared contact information and planned to get to know each other outside of all this. Although I really enjoy her company and can feel a connection, a part of me still thinks that she may be using me. Anyone have experiences with personal relationships with SPs? Advice?
SP Friendship
- Thread starter johkn11
- Start date
A few. Stayed close for quite a few years. Nothing bad to report. One of them got married and moved on. Still friends but just don't really contact each other anymore. Another one owes me money. Been friends for over a decade. However, I would like to get paid back. She's basically good people. Just a lousy credit rating with me. Have been out to dinner with both of them and mutual friends and a family member, dozens of times. Took one to Toronto for a week at her expense because she wanted me to show her around as I used to live there. Another one used to want to go out for a pizza and a beer after our sessions. Very chill. She told me she wanted me to be her boyfriend, but I was kind of obsessing about another one. Take a shot. Nothing really risky from my experience. They are mostly good people.
You’re going to get as many opinions on this as there are posters. Everyone has different feelings about SP’s being human beings and whether they’re capable of having friendships and relationships outside of work. The answer is yes, it is possible.
How is she using you if she isn’t charging you her hourly? Do you pick up the tab for dinner or drinks against your will? Are you being transitioned from client to SD? Why don’t you just figure out what you want from this relationship and than ask her what she’s interested in with you. Might be easier than getting a bunch of strangers opinions on the many possibilities of two anonymous humans 🤷🏻♀️
How is she using you if she isn’t charging you her hourly? Do you pick up the tab for dinner or drinks against your will? Are you being transitioned from client to SD? Why don’t you just figure out what you want from this relationship and than ask her what she’s interested in with you. Might be easier than getting a bunch of strangers opinions on the many possibilities of two anonymous humans 🤷🏻♀️
Use the head on your shoulders... Your both adults, if feelings are mutual and looking for more than just paid companionship, straight up ask her, why lolly gag around the issue
Like Sofia said, everyone's gonna have a different response but the onky person who'll really answer is the lady herself
Like Sofia said, everyone's gonna have a different response but the onky person who'll really answer is the lady herself
Have a friend who's a long-retired SP. We've known each other for about 12 years.
We always clicked as SP and client, and just carried it on outside of the business after she retired.
We go hiking or cycling, have the occasional lunch every few months to catch up on our lives.
Have a couple others I'd conssider friends, even though we still are client/SP. Things like extra services for free, personal messages, requests for advice, small gifts and meeting outside working times for coffee and conversation.
I thnk if people get along, it matter not how they met.
We always clicked as SP and client, and just carried it on outside of the business after she retired.
We go hiking or cycling, have the occasional lunch every few months to catch up on our lives.
Have a couple others I'd conssider friends, even though we still are client/SP. Things like extra services for free, personal messages, requests for advice, small gifts and meeting outside working times for coffee and conversation.
I thnk if people get along, it matter not how they met.
Already said enough, Sophia and sexpanther explained it really well.
Just think with brain, if you look at her always as a person who you had amazing sex, nothing else or if she is looking at you as a wallet and your every conversation or meeting ends up with your lighter wallet, its not a meaningful relationship.
Just think with brain, if you look at her always as a person who you had amazing sex, nothing else or if she is looking at you as a wallet and your every conversation or meeting ends up with your lighter wallet, its not a meaningful relationship.
I have, with 2 separate sps, the only semi-local girls I'd seen regularly. One was very flirty between visits, which transitioned to unprompted requests for sessions, and then like "come fuck me now" stuff that was popping up in CarPlay, and even though a few were explicitly 'on-the-house' it was getting to be too much personal stuff, so I had to shut it down bc I'm not looking for that type of relationship. Have seen her once since and it was weird, unfortunately. The other was one that started after I stayed with her post-session one time bc her building went on lockdown as we were wrapping up. This lead to some trauma dumping (from her to me) which I was fine with in small doses, then some gossiping about other providers and then unsolicited calls/texts for advice and that was a little too much for me. Have seen her since and we both felt great about it and we fucked with effortless passion.
I couldn't do it. In my head, every SP you see is just going through the motions of their job. I don't ever think they're being genuine. If they want to see you more, its probably a ploy to try and get more money out of you. She will tell a sob story and before you know it, she's suckered you into paying her bills, buying her a car, giving her an allowance... not saying that a true friendship is not possible, but it's highly improbable. As an SP you learn very quickly how to manipulate men, for better or for worse, because you spend all day dealing with all types of men.
My rule has always been don't catch feelings when its supposed to be " just sex ". This applies to SP's, casual sex partners, fuck buddies, whatever.
My rule has always been don't catch feelings when its supposed to be " just sex ". This applies to SP's, casual sex partners, fuck buddies, whatever.
🤷♀️ Same concerns of women about the average man in regular dating/courtship. SP’s just get the entire spectrum of the personalities and mannerisms of men (even cultural exposure), and men are often more honest about it because it’s a transaction. Some keep trophies to show off to others or will be with women for the things they do/provide. There’s a reason there’s the arguement for how much you’d have to pay for what a housewife takes on for the family. There’s a risk both in and out of the industry.
As an SP that is genuine when she enters any relationship type (friendship, romantic, etc), it’s possible that you may have found something good, but time will tell. Societal conditioning as a whole, and where the economy is now, make it less likely. She could be using you, but the odds are she also has money given what she does, and has the option to be pickier with who she sees outside of work.
As an SP that is genuine when she enters any relationship type (friendship, romantic, etc), it’s possible that you may have found something good, but time will tell. Societal conditioning as a whole, and where the economy is now, make it less likely. She could be using you, but the odds are she also has money given what she does, and has the option to be pickier with who she sees outside of work.
I’ve been lucky enough to have a few longterm friendships with SP’s. With two of them in particular, I started out as a client, which transitioned into dating them after they retired. The romantic thing didn’t pan out, but I’ve still remained friends with them. I’ve known one of them for about 25 years and we still get together for dinner whenever I’m in the city she currently lives in. The other I’ve known for about 20 years. She still gets mentioned here from time-to-time as an ATF. She now lives in South America, but we text each other all the time.
Friendships are definitely possible and sustainable.
Friendships are definitely possible and sustainable.
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Had a similar thing happen to me recently where we connected and exchanged information. I was later actually in her home country and just texted casually for fun. She asked to meet up in her city very enthusiastically. I was a bit wary but ended up going and it was amazing. She showed me around, treated me the entire day (spending a lot and refusing to let me pay anything) and then we met up again in a non-paid setting here until she moved to a different city. I'm still not quite sure how this affects our previous client/SP dynamic as we never discussed it but I genuinely don't mind if we just stay friends, even with just occasional texting and meeting up whenever she's back here.
