scared and nervous

[c0rpse]

I hope this is going in the right forum...I tried the search option but it appeared to be broken. I am a long time lurker, somewhat first poster.

Here is my issue. For as long as I can remember the idea of an escort has turned me on like nothing else.

The past 2 years I have been with a girl, who I love very much, but we hardly ever have sex...the strange thing is, is that its my fault. I cant seem to bring myself to bother having sex with her. Now aside from the obvious relationship problems I am having I really want to see an SP. My problem is, is that I am afraid to feel terribley guilty. I don't want this haunting me...in a perfect world I just want to have some fun with no strings...

As I am sure alot of people on here are on the same page..how do you deal with this? I am trying to justify it, but I am basically being held back by the idea of getting caught.

Any insight anyone?

 

[Dave in Phoenix]

You should realize that sex has nothing to do with love.

You can love your girlfriend but for whatever reason, although unusual not have sex with her whether its for an emotional or just not physically attracted to her reason.

Yet most of us have sexual/intimacy desires. I enjoy caring touch intimacy with a variety of women. So escorts are ideal since its physical or as I say can be love for the moment of a unique soul, but for the moment or just purely for physical enjoyment without having to "fall in love" or have any other expectations other than a great hour with a great women.

The problem is most in our culture just don't get it and somehow expect unnatural monogamy to prove love for one other.

Even in biblical times this was not the case, but many wives, concubines and "common" prostitution common with no negative issues about it.

In Islam many wives is the norm including short term marriages...like for an hour with an escort. Under Islam they quote some words of marriage limit the time of the marriage (like 1 hour) and its perfectly religiously valid under Islam. I've had many providers tell me of having this experience with Muslum clients.

Most religious except "modern" Christianity (vs biblical) realize the natural desire for other than just a monogamous relationship of marriage to one.

 

[Bruddha]

Bro, there are no rules. Live your life without storybook expectations. You say you are afraid to feel guilty, yet you already are. Let go, surrender to your own truth. Have the experiences you are meant to have in life. You will learn something about yourself ... and who knows ... the new experiences may even improve your sex life at home. I don't think your being held back by the idea of getting caught, your being held back by your fear of loosing the security you feel in your relationship. The opposite of love is not hate, it is fear. Jump into the abyss and have some good and bad and marginal and mind-blowing sex with several really good sp's that offer GFE. Fuck your brains out, kiss, lick, suck, whisper, scream, cry, learn how to give your sexual partners pleasure, have a beautiful sexual dialogue with your body and your mind, let go of your fear and learn what you need to know about yourself ... and then walk tall in knowing, you are living. No judgement ... no blame. If it is permission you need, you have it.

Just my two cents, Bruddha

(By the way. If you post the same questions in 'the lounge', you will probably get significantly more responses.)

 

[Lady Companion]

I'll be the voice of discent

If you are feeling guilty before the act - definately don't go booking an appointment. Guilt exists for a reason. It is part your your integral makeup. It helps to shape your character and define who you are. Some of us have stronger consciences than others. Neither is right or wrong. There is just what is right or wrong for you.

If you have to justify doing this - then it isn't for you. Remember, you have your whole life to become unfaitful, but only one time and you lose your honour (if that is how you view it). Now there are people here who have no guilt or remorse (or aren't in a relationship), and they can honestly justify this in the manners shown above. This hobby is for them.

Think about how you are going to feel right afterward, the next day, week, month and for the rest of your life. It doesn't sound to me as though you are going to like the person you become if you do this. Will you be able to look at yourself in the mirror each morning after the fact and be happy with what you see? Will you be able to look at your partner and still feel like the man she fell in love with? Will you feel like you deserve her love?

While I do agree than men are not hardwired to be monogamous, I also believe that society, culture and religion help to shape our personality and personal creeds. If seeing a lady on the side goes against your core belief system, or what you just feel to be right and wrong, then this isn't for you.

Just remember, you can't take it back if you don't like how you feel afterward. That feeling of guilt, loss of character and lack of integity will last your lifetime. Is a lifetime of self imposed torment really worth a few hours of pleasure?

I know - I get an F for marketing - but an A for ethics

 

[FuZzYknUckLeS]

Bro, there are no rules. Live your life without storybook expectations. You say you are afraid to feel guilty, yet you already are. Let go, surrender to your own truth. Have the experiences you are meant to have in life. You will learn something about yourself ... and who knows ... the new experiences may even improve your sex life at home. I don't think your being held back by the idea of getting caught, your being held back by your fear of loosing the security you feel in your relationship. The opposite of love is not hate, it is fear. Jump into the abyss and have some good and bad and marginal and mind-blowing sex with several really good sp's that offer GFE. Fuck your brains out, kiss, lick, suck, whisper, scream, cry, learn how to give your sexual partners pleasure, have a beautiful sexual dialogue with your body and your mind, let go of your fear and learn what you need to know about yourself ... and then walk tall in knowing, you are living. No judgement ... no blame. If it is permission you need, you have it....

You could justify your infidelity this way or...
you could have morals.
or you could justify it by trying to separate the two like...
"You should realize that sex has nothing to do with love."
or you could have morals.
Like Lady Companion does.

 

[S.G. Gibson]

What action do you think will cause you the least anxiety because you seem anxious either way?

 

[Dave in Phoenix]

A key question that isn't answered is whether or not there is any specific agreement to be monogamous. If not, no reason to be guilty. If there is an explicit agreement that makes it a far more difficult situation.

 

[Bruddha]

You could justify your infidelity this way or...
you could have morals./QUOTE]

The morals are just different, that is all. The concepts of 'Right and wrong' do not come printed in some book. Remember ... no judgement, no blame. You cannot love another, until you learn to love yourself.

 

[Very Veronica]

You two both need therapy. Good sex is part of a good relationship and compromising on that will only build resentment. Either go to the bookstore and start working on it by yourselves or find a therapist. Communication is key. When all else fails or succeeds, then you can come see me!

 

[BS Detector]

Maybe I was better off banned lol

Because then I had no choice but to keep my opinions to myself. My thoughts obviously go against the grain here. If we are talking about "natural" (multiple partners) we should be given ALL the facts and it should also be pointed out that in nature, no other species (with one exception) has recreational sex. It is strictly for reproductive purposes. I stand to be corrected but I believe the other species is either pigs or a particular species of monkey. So, Yes...multiple partners is natural but so is sex for reproduction only.

In your case, what to do? Don't listen what anyone else would do cuz it may not work for you. Think what you would expect from the lady you say you love and then extend her the same respect. Only you, not any of us, know what level of respect, trust and loyalty you expect from her. Only you know if you love her enough to make some sacrifices for her or if you need to find someone else, who is also into 'open' relationships as you appear to be. Are you open to her going from partner to partner? If you are then start reading the reviews cuz there are some mighty fine ladies here!!!

I think you really don't even need to ask because the mere fact you can not discuss it with her appears to indicate you already know the answer. Sounds to me like here, you only seek the justification to do the opposite. After you make up your mind, do it. Just remember that it is Windows, not life, that has the un-do button.

 

[Bruddha]

Better yet, take this test.

https://perb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=33197

 

[Big Trapper]

You ... need therapy.

what she said

 

[Randy Whorewald]

What's wrong?

I hope this is going in the right forum...I tried the search option but it appeared to be broken. I am a long time lurker, somewhat first poster.

Here is my issue. For as long as I can remember the idea of an escort has turned me on like nothing else.

The past 2 years I have been with a girl, who I love very much, but we hardly ever have sex...the strange thing is, is that its my fault. I cant seem to bring myself to bother having sex with her. Now aside from the obvious relationship problems I am having I really want to see an SP. My problem is, is that I am afraid to feel terribley guilty. I don't want this haunting me...in a perfect world I just want to have some fun with no strings...

As I am sure alot of people on here are on the same page..how do you deal with this? I am trying to justify it, but I am basically being held back by the idea of getting caught.

Any insight anyone?

Maybe your girl is not the one for you or you for her? Why do you want an SP? You should discuss the issues with her and mutually decide if you are right for each other. Its better and cheaper to do it now rather than later.
Things won't get easier going forward.

 

[dr_pepper]

time to act

You're in a relationship you're not happy in - for whatever reason. If you can't "bring" yourself to have sex with her you should think about the reasons. And hey, there might not be anything wrong with either of you mentally, physically or sexually. At it's basics, sex is a chemical reaction between two people. Maybe you guys just aren't for each other plain and simple. I do know that if you're not married and you don't have kids the time to act is now - NOT LATER when you are married and may have kids. Sh!t or get off the pot - or in this case invest some time and effort and see if you can ignite the sexual side of your relationship - or go your seperate ways. Why do you want a SP - maybe you should be looking for a girl who is alot more into sex and role playing and whatever it is that's gonna turn your crank. Don't "coast" like this for the next few years and then get married cause that's what your families are expecting. You've gotta live your life for you and now's the easiest time to make changes. Your relationship will not last long term if you don't have a sexual spark. Or if you do decide to stick it out, you're dooming yourself AND her to many years of unhappiness. And you should be factoring her sexual needs into this picture too. You could be holding her back from meeting some guy who's crank she does turn. My 2 cents and i'll put away my soap box now.