other people's children - inspired by the Baby in the Theatre thread...

beenaround

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Mar 8, 2004
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Reading the thread about babies in theatres, and the obviously impassioned responses people had on the subject, and on parenting in general, made me want to start a discussion on an incident that happened to me a few months ago.

I have been bothered by this incident, and often wonder if what I did was appropriate or not.

The story:
I was in a McDonalds, getting lunch, with friends. We had a dog with us, in the car, so we decided to get our meals to go and eat outside. We ordered, then I told my friends I was gonna use the toilet, then meet them outside.

I went into the bathroom, which was empty. Typical McDonald's bathroom - one urinal, one stall, one sink. As I needed to blow my nose (had a cold) I used the stall to take a leak. I didn't shut the stall door , as I was only taking a leak. Maybe I'm wrong, but this seems to be fairly usual men's room behaviour - if someone is standing there taking a leak, the door may be ajar - after all, you can see the person in there, so...I then was using some tissue, to evacuate my nose. While I was doing this, I hear the bathroom door open behind me. 2 kids came in - noisily. I keep blowing my nose. Both these kids walk right into the stall behind me, like crowding right up to me. They stop, mumble something, then back out again. I continue tearing off TP, getting ready for another blow, and I feel kinda weird - I turn around - these kids are not waiting politely outside - they're hanging on the door of the stall, staring at me, both of them. Laughing and giggling. This is kinda weird, so I give them a look, turn back, blow, turn around again - they haven't backed off - they are now again both of them actually in the stall with me. So I take a step toward them, grab the door, say " do you mind?" and go to close the door. The one kid doesn't let go of the door. He just stands there, with a stupid-ass look on his face, laughing up at me. (these kids were 2 boys, about 6-7 years old ) Now, at this point I have had it with these kids, so I shove them out of the stall, tell them something like "get the fuck out of here" and close the door. I can't believe these kids, how rude, how ignorant their behaviour is.

So - I finish - I wash my hands (no kids in sight) I exit the bathroom. First thing I see - the kids, waiting for me, sitting at a booth, like a couple of cats that swallowed the canaries. These kids don't look scared - they have big shit eating grins on their face. Next, waiting at the exits, are the kids parents - mom and dad. Mom come up to confront me. Was I the gentleman who had spoken to her children in the bathroom? Had I sworn at them? Chased them out? Well, I wasn't in the mood for her shit, so I laid into her. Was she the mother of the 2 incredibly rude, ignorant children who I had encountered in the bathroom? Who had crowded me in the bathroom stall, and ignored me when I asked them to get out and back off?

Needless to say, we didn't have a warm and fuzzy encounter. I'll give dad credit though - he stayed out of it. let momma handle it. 'Cause if he'd got up in my grill I woulda popped him. Momma - well, I just gave her a tongue lashing, about parents being responsible for their kids behaviour, they shouldn't be left alone if they are so ignorant and ill-behaved...she meanwhile is laying into me about her precious darlings, they aren't responsible for their actions, they are children, I should make allowances for their behaviour, I have no right to speak to her kids that way...

We parted, my final volley being that she was doing her kids no service by encouraging this behaviour. If you coulda seen the 2 little shit disturbers while we went at it you would know what I meant - they loved it, watching their mom lay into me. The whole drama they had created. Dad, as I said, hung back - I think this was not the first time the little delights had caused a ruckus in public.

Anyway, I leave - they wisely stayed inside. I ate lunch, but I'm furious. I can't believe how rude and stupid these kids were - i can't believe that their mom thought their behaviour was acceptable.

Afterwards, I thought that they were lucky in a way to have met me - I only yelled at them. Some other people would have been less generous, and some psycho might've done far worse. I mean - how do you know who you're gonna find in a McDonald's bathroom?

My friends I was with pointed out that they never send their 7 year old off to a public bathroom alone - not that he's irresponsible but that they would feel irresponsible not keeping an eye on him.

I often think about that mom - what she is teaching her kids by encouraging that behaviour. What kind of monsters she is raising.

So - the question is - was I wrong here? Should I have been oh so understanding of these ignorant little pukes, gently guided them out, apologized to them for using the stall for so long? Or was I right to bark at them? And to bark at mom?


been around some
 

visioneast

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I hate kids. :)
 

georgebushmoron

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Mar 25, 2003
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So - the question is - was I wrong here? Should I have been oh so understanding of these ignorant little pukes, gently guided them out, apologized to them for using the stall for so long? Or was I right to bark at them? And to bark at mom?
You were right to yell at the kids and their mom. In fact, I would have made a very public display of yelling at the mom for the purpose of humiliating her. I would have accused her of being a bad parent and that her kids are out of control little jerks. I have no patience for bickering of any sort with parents of uncontrolled kids. Sudden and unprovoked extreme anger works wonders in getting the right behaviour. I would have felt absolutely no guilt about it, nor would I have questioned what I did either. Furthermore, if the kids cry because they got yelled at (probably not these kids, but others might), I would have thought that they deserved to learn a lesson that people older than you are to be given a common courtesy that is accorded out of respect for persons who have more experience in life.

Anyway, good on you for what you did. More adults should be putting kids in their place. Kids have gone way out of control with no respect for authority and older people. Luckily I was not there. I have a wicked temper and scare people, and only force of will prevents me from going completely ballistic.
 

chilli

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Jul 25, 2005
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You did the right thing.

For the most part weak people are raising our next gen and to be honest it's a scary thought.
 

eurhythmia

Moral Bankrupt
Apr 29, 2006
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I agree. You did the right thing by standing your ground. Little bastards like that scare the hell out of me -- what if they said you touched them or showed them your snake? You would be ruined.

Maybe the Universe will be kind and these two little pukes will drown in the backyard swimming pool this summer.
 

georgebushmoron

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Mar 25, 2003
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I hate kids
Yeah. Kids these days are taking advantage of the fact that society deems them "innocent" and "require special protection". Lots of little jerks go out to break the law because they know the won't get a criminal record if underage. I hope they change the law and charge them fully as adults for all crimes no matter how small. Shoplifting is shoplifting, harassment is harassment, assault is assault, it doesn't matter the age.
 

HeMadeMeDoIt

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Serves you right, go to McDonald's and you take what they serve. Sometimes it pays to not be so cheap. IMHO.
You're kidding right? You just forgot to put the appropriate smiley face in. Did you at all catch the part of the dog being in the car and him wanting to go outside once he's picked up his order?

The reason that the kids are behaving that way is because their mother has both encouraged and rewarded that kind of behaviour through her ignorant defence of it instead of making them apologize. The father is fully aware what a stunned cunt the mother is and was probably hoping you'd off her on his behalf.

I was at a supermarket a couple of years back when I hear this kid tug at his mother and say her "mom look at the bald guy" while pointing at me (i shave my head daily). The stunned cunt ditchpig lifts up her head from what she was doing and says to him uh huh. The kid then does it again and again no corrective action taken by the mother. Two things really bothered me; first the kind was pointing at me and second what if I had no hair because of my chemo. treatments for cancer. Needless to say I walked over to the mother and carved her a new asshole. Her response was that he was just a kid and didnt know any better.
 

rat_fink

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Next time lock the door

I agree. You did the right thing by standing your ground. Little bastards like that scare the hell out of me -- what if they said you touched them or showed them your snake? You would be ruined.

Maybe the Universe will be kind and these two little pukes will drown in the backyard swimming pool this summer.
Its a no win situation. Children are protected. (An angry mother protecting her children is more dangerous than a junkie with a knife IMO). You handled the situation well and got away without lasting consequences other than the bruise to your ego. You're lucky. Like eurhythmia says "what if they said you touched them"?

One of my guiding principles, tepid as it sounds, "What comes around goes around". You'll likely never see this family again, but this family will spend the next decade embroiled in this kind of shit.

Next time lock the door:)
 

visioneast

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Its a no win situation. Children are protected. (An angry mother protecting her children is more dangerous than a junkie with a knife IMO). You handled the situation well and got away without lasting consequences other than the bruise to your ego. You're lucky. Like eurhythmia says "what if they said you touched them"?

One of my guiding principles, tepid as it sounds, "What comes around goes around". You'll likely never see this family again, but this family will spend the next decade embroiled in this kind of shit.

Next time lock the door:)

I agree with rat_fink and eurhythmia. :)

Next time, lock the goddamn door. :)

And when you see little kids like those again, just run away as quick and as far as you can. :)

Cuz that is what I would do. :)

I hate kids, period. :)
 

Hoops

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Jul 17, 2005
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I always accompany my kids to public washrooms.

If my kids did this I'd be on them about their behavior. Not backing down was the right thing to do.
I've got a nephew that acts like that and I've said things to the mom. She laffs it off. Thinks he'll grow out of it.
His teachers will suffer and eventually he and his parents will suffer too.
 

kalel

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Sep 16, 2006
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i love kids. but i hate the way people bring them up. the reason we have so many disobedient kids is because parents lack the discipline to teach them discipline. kids should be learning about conduct, self restraint, and so forth but when you pack them up in the car and take them to mcdonald's it's the parents taking the easy way out so what do you expect. i personally wouldn't take my son to mcdonald's or allow him to behave in a manner which would lead to him getting his ass kicked if i weren't around. most of the posters have already eluded to the fact that far too many people get away with the socialist attitudes and breaks that society is accustomed to.
 

aznboi9

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May 3, 2005
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Here Be Monsters
So - the question is - was I wrong here? Should I have been oh so understanding of these ignorant little pukes, gently guided them out, apologized to them for using the stall for so long? Or was I right to bark at them? And to bark at mom?


been around some
No, you were not wrong; the kids were way out of line. I've always wondered about that excuse "They're kids, they don't know any better" as it seems awfully silly to me. If they don't know any better, then wouldn't that mean that you (meaning the parent) should take on the responsibility of teaching them to know better?
 
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Miss*Bijou

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Nov 9, 2006
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i love kids. but i hate the way people bring them up. the reason we have so many disobedient kids is because parents lack the discipline to teach them discipline. kids should be learning about conduct, self restraint, and so forth but when you pack them up in the car and take them to mcdonald's it's the parents taking the easy way out so what do you expect. i personally wouldn't take my son to mcdonald's or allow him to behave in a manner which would lead to him getting his ass kicked if i weren't around. most of the posters have already eluded to the fact that far too many people get away with the socialist attitudes and breaks that society is accustomed to.

I totally agree with the above comment..


But in regards to the original post..
I`m not sure how yelling and swearing at a couple 7 year old brats is supposed to help in any way. I`m not saying the situation wasn`t frustrating but I doubt losing it on the mother (who`s at that point only reacting to being told some strange dude just yelled and swore at her kid in the bathroom - cause that`s the only version she`s got so far) accomplishes anything or shows any more maturity or self control?! I`m actually surprised no one`s even commented on the posters behavior in handling the situation.. other than to say he was justified in acting the way he did. IMHO he was justified in feeling the way he did about the situation he was in.. but I fail to see how the way he reacted to it was justified..?

The fact is that kids learn by example and by what they see around them. I agree that parents have a huge and biggest role/responsibility in determining how a kid turns out... but so do the world and ppl around around them. They pick up on every thing they see.. and it`s not limited to their parents or family.

The reaction in this case is just as bad as the behavior itself (kids & mothers). Sorry but IMO there are more than one way to handle this. You can deal with it by showing some self control, keeping your cool, actually discussing and getting your point accross.

Or.... react to a couple kids misbehaving in a public bathroom... by acting like a 7 yr old yourself! Then.. when confronted by an angry mother, get angry yourself and attack right back. Yup, the last option sounds like a real winner. You got lots accomplished today, superman. You just basically reacted by imitating their behavior.. which you are putting them down for. :confused: Are you going to send your mom after me for telling you to act like an adult?

You know why it`s called the easy way of doing things? because it`s, yes, easy and also because it requires no thinking at all. Kids react. Adults think then act. ;)

I can understand someone saying they don`t like spoiled kids.. a lot of kids are awful and it`s a shame that parents aren`t doing their job..
But I don`t get how someone can make a general comment about hating *all* kids.. it`s completely beyond comprehension to me :confused:

If you can honestly tell me you hate all kids? I`m very sorry and very very sad for you.. that`s really all I can say. :(
If you can honestly tell me you hate all kids? I`m very sorry and very very sad for you.. that`s really all I can say. :(

I`ll pick any well behaved, good kid to hang out with over most adults I know anyday! seriously.. my favorite 5yr old buddy is wayyyy more fun and has a lot more interesting things to say and common sense than about 75% of the adults I know ;)
 
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georgebushmoron

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It seems like a lot of kids are turning into brats at such young ages these days. I am not sure why parents let their kids act like this to begin with, for some reason they do not have as much control on them as they used to. A lot of changed when i was raised as a child 10 years, it could be televison (south park) or music getting rauncher. The majority of the time when i encounter kids 6 or 7 or 10, they are very rude and like to swear a lot.

When i was raised, I was always told to say yes please or no thanks. Hold the door open for people when you are exiting a mall or walking in. Not slam it into ones place. When i visit my mother, sometimes i will say yeah if i need something and i am reminded that i should always be saying yes please. I guess it was the way i was raised, strong morals and good beliefs.
The diff between when we were children and the children of today is not South Park nor raunchy music nor internet porn. It's that moral values have changed. Today society has liberalized. While this has pluses, one minus is that kids are taught to "think for themselves" - which on the one hand is great but on the other hand the underlying message is to question all authority. The other aspect of "thinking for yourself" at such an early age is the emphasis on personal development - which is great on one hand, but on the other hand means that kids are encouraged to experience many facets of life. Apparently, experiencing first hand the many facets of life makes you an expert of some sort, and thus you do not need the knowledge of those who are older and more experienced. The "thinking for oneself" virtue has also created a culture of non-conformity. Now kids are told that instead of upholding conformity, it is better to be oneself and to tolerate those who are different (ie: gays).

It's all good theoretically, but what they forgot to teach is that with freedom to "think for yourself" also comes responsibility. Unfortunately, kids are also taught that they are not responsible for their actions because they are "just kids". We see this in the way that the law is not holding them accountable like adults. Lastly, they forgot to teach kids about social boundaries.

Frankly, I think that freedom is overrated. It should not be the be-all and end-all of development. Instead, the be-all and end-all of becoming an adult should not be focussed on experiental learning but on learning to be a good productive member of society - and this requires some restrictions and conformity.

Anyways, kids can't handle freedom. Kids need a good structured environment and strong boundaries. Their growing up still needs to be somewhat sheltered in a womb-like environment upon which they may safely test their emotions and intellect, develop their identities, rather than be adulterized before emotional maturation. Kids need to know their place, as do adults, before they make demands on those around them.

All this freedom has created a subversive culture. South Park, gangstah music, and all that may be entertaining and a lot of fun, but the underlying current of it all is subversion. Popular culture is now subversive culture. Subversiveness seeks to overthrow the institution and turn everything upside down. But in the search for truth and a better way by turning everything upside down, all they will eventually find is that they need to put everything back right side up in order to create a solid identity and progress. Others before them have toiled and tribulated to get to that point, so why should kids not learn from their collective experience. Unfortunately, our liberal teachers don't see it that way.
 

peety

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Was the mom hot??!!

Damn as mad as I would be as well, I would turn the tables on the mom, if she was even remotely fuckable I would have hit on her, ha fucken ha, see what she and her hubby do as the BOTH of them scramble to splain that situation to her 2 fucked up lil ones:p Ask mom if you can feel her boobies and butt:eek:

Whenever I get toooo fucken mad and I'm at a point of doing something stoopid, I always remember that acting like a goof really gets the otherside even more pissed:p
 

beenaround

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Mar 8, 2004
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some responses and further thoughts

to Rat_fink - yes I should have locked the door. I now do, regardless of whether anyone is in the bathroom when I get in there, because of this incident. You never know who's coming in behind you...

to Peety - no, momma wasn't hot. Plain, wiry, looked like a farm girl, but not the kind you'd want to roll in the hay. Angry, and not just at me. Long etched lines and creases in her face. Not the laugh line variety. About 30-35.

to Miss*Bijou - I was looking for feedback, and I thank you for yours. It mirrors some of the doubts I have had about the incident, because in hindsight, I certainly did not exercise as much restraint as I could have.

I don't dislike children - just as I don't dislike people in general.

I have many friends and family with young children (none myself yet) and I get along fine with them.

What I dislike are rude *people* , young or old.

I had perhaps a second's reflection before I barked at those kids. And I quite consciously allowed myself to get angry - because their behaviour was not accidental. They were deliberately trying to get my goat.

If these had been younger children, who truly out of sheer ignorance were blundering around the bathroom, I would have exercised restraint. Probably gone to find their folks, and ask why they were allowing such young kids unattended into a public bathroom.

But these kids were old enough to know better. And, they were getting a laugh out of crowding me, making me uncomfortable. Honestly, it was creepy. And for the reasons mentioned by others too, potentially perilous - what if they had cried wolf? I'd be up shite creek paddleless...

I have an ongoing ethical debate with myself, as to actions and consequences.

It goes like this:

Someone does something bad to you. You wonder should you do something back. People will often say - that's bad karma. Revenge is bad. But, they also say in the same breath - what goes around comes around. They'll get theirs in the end.

What if you are the "end"? What if you are what's coming around? Because, after all, if everyone never reacted or took issue with a bad person, when do they get their comeuppance?

Because I am a straight shoooter, I say what I mean and I mean what I say, if I have convictions, I stand behind them. I voice them.

So, in any situation, when I see bad behaviour - I confront it.

This has caused me some grief in my lifetime. But you have to act on your beliefs, or what good are they?

As Miss Bijou said - lead by example. Teach by example.


This incident in the crapper of a McDonalds is hardly blip on the world's radar. Just a small example of discourteous behaviour. But I had to say something.

Probably the best thing, what Ghandi would have done, would have been to not react to the kids, but to have gone later and addressed the parents.

But, I am not Ghandi.

:)

So I gave the little shits both barrels. And momma too. I spoke my piece, and *tried* to get the point across to Momma that her kid's behaviour was bad, and also dangerous for them. What the hell are they doing fucking around with strangers in a public bathroom?

Did I change anything? I doubt it. Momma wasn't listening. Dad maybe heard me - but he looked like he had heard it before. Kids loved the whole drama they had created, so they will definitely do it again.


But actions have consequences. Bad actions should have bad consequences.
You do something dumb - you should get called on it.

Maybe I should have really freaked out - actually scared the litte shits. But I would have been the loser there - gone to jail or somesuch.


Anyway, thank you all for your most interesting feedback so far. I will continue to look back and see what everyone has to say.


been around some
 

georgebushmoron

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Mar 25, 2003
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Did I change anything? I doubt it. Momma wasn't listening. Dad maybe heard me - but he looked like he had heard it before. Kids loved the whole drama they had created, so they will definitely do it again.


But actions have consequences. Bad actions should have bad consequences.
You do something dumb - you should get called on it.

Maybe I should have really freaked out - actually scared the litte shits. But I would have been the loser there - gone to jail or somesuch.
You may not have changed anything yourself, but if these incidences keep occurring to her and her kids, and people like you keep lecturing them publicly, then eventually there should be a change in behaviour. I suspect that they were not so obtuse and still not so far gone that the behaviour would eventually change for the better. I am all for publicly lecturing and humiliating people who behave badly. I think it is the best combination of positive and negative reinforcement there is. After all, human beings are social animals and making the lecture public and humiliating serves to mend such antisocial people back into the fabric of society. Giving them a private lecture only allows them to weigh it against their conscience, which is ineffective because it is distorted anyway - and it allows them to act as if their bad behaviour never occurred and did not have a consequence on themselves or anybody else. So good on you for yelling at them in public.

As you say, freaking out at children could land you in legal problems. If I were you, I certainly would not freak out at them in the privacy of a washroom. I'd do it in plain view of everyone. No one ever got put in jail for yelling at a brat, so the actual yelling is not something you should be overly concerned about. I'd just do it in public view.
 

dr_pepper

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Oct 4, 2005
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In my experience 90% of the time when someone gripes about "kids" it's cause they've never had any (70% of that 90% lack the mental power to grasp that these are children who are still learning and should probably never go down the road of parent hood themselves). The other 10% of the time it's warranted.
Don't assume kids know everything or how to behave in any situation. You can lay full blame at the parents feet if they are at an age where they should know and they don't. But here's an idea for all you kid haters - instead of cursing them, why not take 10 seconds and explain and educate them for next time - "hey guys - it's not polite to be in the bathroom stall with me, wait over there until I'm done" - in an authoritative voice - don't let it be an option for them not to wait over there. If the parents get pissed at this then there's no hope for the kids anyway. But as in this case I seriously doubt the parents would have had issue if you'd had a couple words of wisdom for them. Next time you're in a foreign country and you don't know something - maybe people should start swearing at you and pushing you aside.

For the record if you "shove them out of the stall, tell them something like "get the fuck out of here" I'd be calling the cops.....or if i thought i could get away with it I'd educate you with a tire iron up the side of the head and hurl insults at you until you understood how to behave.

For gods sakes - a six year old?? Kids probably just starting to go to the wash room "unescorted" by dad. You honestly think they know how to react in all situations and behave like an adult.
 

dr_pepper

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Go ask 20 different 6 year olds to "define" privacy and what it means to them and to someone else. You'll get at least 15 different answers.
 
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