"My girlfriend and I are raising a child, but I found out it's not my kid!"

[maverick73]

No, it's not MAVERICK's kid. That's why I put the title in quotations.

I read an article in the Province today from France that up to 4% of fathers may be unknowingly raising a child that he thinks is his own, but is actually not.

A few days ago, I watched the movie Alfie (excellent movie by the way) and it deals with a similar situation. For those of you who have not seen the movie, Alfie ends up fucking his best friends gf and she gets pregnant with his kid. She doesn't want to have an abortion because there is a small chance it could still be her bf's kid. In the end, the kid ends up having "white boy" features so it's obvious that it is Alfie's kid... but because the alternative is worse, the couple stays together and raises the kid... but man, that is just so f$cked up. All the hurt that causes. The father because he has to raise a kid that his supposed best friend produced with HIS gf... The mother for the same reason... the kid when he finds out dad really isn't his dad... Alfie for messing up his best friend's life... That's why in general you should not fuck with another man's girl IMHO.

Anyways, I am curious, what are the odds of the following:

A woman gives you a blowjob and pretends to swallow your sperm. While you are "recovering" she goes to the bathroom to "clean up" but in actuality either puts your sperm in a vial for later impregnation or "impregnates" herself by putting the sperm into her vagina with her finger. Anybody heard of this actually happening? I think I read an article a while back of something like this happening. Let the discussion begin.

 

[CARGO1]

Most recently this was the case in the States. The un-suspecting father sued and lost. The judges decision leaned 100% in the woman favour. He stated that once the semen was deposited it legally became hers to do as she felt best.. poor bugger welded to a kid and child support payments for at least 18yrs!


Cargo

 

[georgebushmoron]

Well it never happened to me, but I was deathly afraid of it happening especially with one GF I had for a short while. She was nuts for babies, which I can't stand. I remember one time she spread her legs and I had wood all ready to plow her, and she would open up her arms in a big embrace and say out loud with a big smile on her face, "GIMME A BABY!!!!".... I instantly lost wood. I lay on top of her and whispered in her ear, "listen sweetheart, let's pretend you're gonna get a baby but to do so, you have to not say that so we can pretend to get you pregnant, ok?". I cut the relationship a few days after that... I was so afraid of her that I couldn't even get a blowjob without being paranoid that she'd run to the bathroom and go impregnate herself. Only anal would have saved that relationship, if it actually had lasted long enough.

 

[crackhead]

something similar actually happened to me

I went to an old friend's wedding a few years back. There I met a woman friend of his who I'd had "f---buddy" sex with years ago. We reconnected, got good and drunk in the hotel bar, and then she told me that I was the father of her then-seven-year-old daughter. I freaked, spend the rest of the weekend in that intense place between anger and love. It was a memorable wedding.

Flew across the country the following week to meet my daughter. Was depressed at how little connection I felt with the girl. The woman and I talked late into that night about how to make things right emotionally and financially, and about what was best for the girl.

Something still felt weird in the morning, and unlike the previous weekend, it wasn't a hangover. I reminded her that we'd both been with quite a few partners back in the day, and asked if we could get a paternity test, just to be certain. The woman went postal on my shiny white ass. Accused me of all sorts of things. Kicked me out of the house.

The following week, she called to say the girl wasn't mine. She said she was just trying to "get back" at me for being a dickhead all those years ago. (It's true. I will stipulate for the record that I was a dickhead.) I suggested we do a paternity test anyway, just so that we could all be certain. At that point, she asked for $1000. The clouds parted and it was suddenly very clear what this was all about. I sent her $100 -- for old time's sake -- and asked her not to contact me again. (She hasn't.)

A while later, I told my newly married friend what had happened. He told me she'd pulled the same stunt on another one of our old friends the year before. Apparently, that guy forked over close to five grand before catching on.

Oh, and I've become a bit more careful since then. I always use a condom, and I always flush it myself. Also, I don't reveal my real name or anything about my personal business to the SWs I see. And I certainly don't talk about finances with f---buddies.

--- Crackhead

 

[Ilovethemall]

scary times

My fellow pooners, these are indeed dangerous and scary times. I agree with GBM, I was with a gal once and about a month into the relationship, she tells me how mch she wants babies (ARGH!!!) and that she wasn't really on the pill the last month and that she is now "late". F***, I got dizzy and just about heaved my lunch.....she felt it was fair because it was a surprise and she loved me. Fuck that - buying me an Xbox shows love - getting pregnant.....cold shivers still run down my spine. Anyway, a few days later she is riding the cotton canoe again and all is well....but it taught me a huge lesson - much like crackhead - nobody knows nothing about me and I like that just fine!

Needless to say I dumped her ass so hard it is probably still bruised.

 

[ace85]

I wonder

What has to be going on in peoples lives to be so easily deceived.

Does anyone that posts on here have gut instincts? Am I in a minortiy where I don't have some convoluted sordid past that is all messed up. I would think that there are points during these "relationships" where you see major issues with the people you are involved with.

Everyday I have to question the judgement of some of the posters I read. I say that in context, becasue I participate in the hobby to.

I read so many posts that say "For 220 she was a total rip off". I have to ask why you stayed in the first place.

Does this not apply to real life relationships as well.

I am sorry, maybe I am naive, but can't we all see this coming from a mile away.

Crazy chicks are crazy chicks, you can tell.

 

[Gonzofiend]

I remember this truly fucked up case in Arizona where this poor schmo had a wife and like 4 kids, and it ended up that the last three were some other guys' kids, a product of a long term affair that his whore wife had (at least use protection BITCH, take a pill or something).

Of course, this leads to a divorce (or maybe the divorce had already happened when he found out that most of the kids were not his, I forget now) but this poor guy (rightly) was less than enthused to pay child support for children that were demonstrably not his. The Judge, in his infinite idiocy, ordered full child support for ALL the kids in the full amount and essentially told the victim (the guy) to shut the fuck up. He violated the order by talking about the case with his oldest (the one that is his) and now he can't even see the kids and they've basically bankrupted him through garnishment of his wages.

To top it all of, the fucking bitch whore (I call her this because that what she, THIS ONE WOMAN, is, not all women in general) sits on this program getting these poor kids to cry and ask why their daddy doesn't love them in the cheapest form of emotional manipulation that my eyes had ever had the misfortune of seeing. Guess she forgot to tell the kiddies how she liked to get three-holed by the mailman without even the common sense of using protection. And the Judge, WTF is up with that jagoff!

Look, it's one thing if we knock-up a gal by accident, or even if she tricks us by the old "I'm on the pill" and we don't wear a condom. We are responsible as men for these children. But in this case, the man still gets the shaft by paying for kids that aren't his and becoming bankrupt, which isn't the most attractive of traits for potential paramours. The wife loses nothing, still has the boyfriend (who also pays nothing for the kids) and the fucking whore actually makes money out of the deal!?! In all seriousness, I don't think I could handle that, I'd either jump off a bridge or throw that whore off of one, and don't even get me going about the the woman's boyfriend, let's just say that he would have breathing difficulties.

Yes, a woman should have a slight advantage in family court, but this case took that idea to an absurd level. I will admit that historically women have been much put upon by the legal process, but now it has swung too far the other way (in some instances).

Sorry, I'll step off the soapbox.

Gonzo

 

[Maury Beniowski]

A woman gives you a blowjob and pretends to swallow your sperm. While you are "recovering" she goes to the bathroom to "clean up" but in actuality either puts your sperm in a vial for later impregnation or "impregnates" herself by putting the sperm into her vagina with her finger. Anybody heard of this actually happening? I think I read an article a while back of something like this happening. Let the discussion begin.

The odds of conception by another man are even. The odds as you have described above are remote at best, but more than likely impossible. Sperm does not keep well under the conditions such as described, are temperature sensitive, cannot exist for long unless deep frozen, and would have to be inserted in a very, very narrow window of opportunity in a woman's fertility cycle, and under strictly controlled conditions. (Do a search on in-vitro and in-utero fertilization)

Under those same controlled conditions, multiple eggs would need to be released by an ovary using powerful hormonal stimulants, would need to be fertilized under highly controlled temperatures, and at the precise time during a woman's monthly cycle (Read up the Billings Method). Even if all the conditions are ideal, the rate of fertilization is very low, so it is highly unlikely (make that impossible) that a woman could accomplish this in her bathroom. Holding a batch of cum in her mouth would also expose it to hostile salivary juices that would kill most if not all the sperm. Sperm can only swim and make its way to meet the egg in a woman's plumbing if the vaginal mucous secretions are aligned in a manner conducive to its existence. The vagina and the path upstream are an extremely hostile environment for sperm, and it is easily killed off as a foreign invader except in a "very short" period in her monthly cycle - we're only talking hours here. Sperm cannot swim in "normal" mucous as it is too gelatinous, and it is easily trapped and killed.

This is the stuff of Urban Legends...

 

[lenny]

The moral of the story:

1] Always use a cover for intercourse. Aluminum foil if nothing else
is available.

2] Always dispose of the tadpoles yourself {e.g. flush down toilet}

3] If the condom breaks, demand your right to clean your kids
outta there {even if u have to use force} & use spermicide on them.
U can use force cuz at this point they are your kids, your property,
that got lost in a foreign body.

4] For BJ's she must swallow or you must see her dispose of it,
or blast off out of her reach {e.g. into kleenex}. BTW, tell her
that BJ's evey morning & night will reduce the risk of breast
cancer by 50%.

Kapish?

 

[maverick73]

The moral of the story:
Kapish?

I believe it's spelled Capiche, but yes, we kapish . The part about cleaning her out if the condom breaks was classic Lenny.

 

[Steve Ray]

Vasectomy

It is talk like this that drives guys to get a vasectomy.

 

[maverick73]

There are two stories I remember recently from the radio:
The first was a guy who found out his best man and his to be were screwing around. The groom went through with the wedding without saying anything. After the ceremonies were completed and everyone was gathered at the reception he was doing his speach. At the end of the speech he tells everyone present to reach under their chairs and grab the attached envelope. Inside they found pictures of his wife screwing the best man! He then stated that he was outta here and got the wedding annuled in the morning! He got to embarass his best man, and his new wife in the best way possible.

Was that story verified? It sounds "urban legendy" if you ask me... but damn, that's the way I would have done it if it had happened to me...

 

[Mr Blonde]

this thread ROCKS

as the saying goes, "don't trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesnt die"

i've been fortunate enough to avoid pregnancy scares, or at least date women with a belief in abortion. however, i went to school with this guy who had an ex re-enter his life with a kid in tow (apparently it had been 5 years since they parted.) and she's singing this song about how its his kid and he can either get back together with her, or pay child support and so on. He can't stand this woman so instead of paying the child support he shacks up with her and he's obviously MISERABLE. While he's explaining his plight to EVERYONE in the class (most of us are stifling laughter) im screaming at him "HELLO, PATERNITY TEST!" and no word of a lie he sez "the resembelance is clear, and besides paternity tests are too expensive."

too expensive? this guy was either a cheapskate, or didn't value the next 20 years or so his life enough to know for sure weather or not the kid in question was his.

 

[ace85]

maybe He was a Man

And he realized that if he didn't step up the kid wouldn't have anyone looking out for them.

Sometimes deciding to be the responsible one is the right thing to do.

I am more talking about this situation from a preventative maintenance point of view.

Making responsible decisions before getting emotionally involved with crazy chicks.

 

[georgebushmoron]

test

test test test test

 

[maverick73]

test test test test

Welcome back MISTER President!!! What moronic things do you have planned for my thread? Always a slice to have you in one of my threads.

I'm honored you chose my thread to test your sig

 

[georgebushmoron]

You're welcome from myself, Dick, Condi, Donald, Paul and the rest of the Team.

 

[rambler6]

BJ Shea

I listen to the BJ Shea show out of Seattle everyday. He had a topic about raising kids that aren't yours. He was bitching about guys who shack up with single mothers. Court cases down south awarded child support to mothers who had lived with these guys because the kids had an attachment to them. Even though its not theirs they still have to pay. I'm not sure if it was Washington state or California. Either way thats screwed up. Paying for 18 years for something that isn't yours.

 

[maverick73]

I listen to the BJ Shea show out of Seattle everyday. He had a topic about raising kids that aren't yours. He was bitching about guys who shack up with single mothers. Court cases down south awarded child support to mothers who had lived with these guys because the kids had an attachment to them. Even though its not theirs they still have to pay. I'm not sure if it was Washington state or California. Either way thats screwed up. Paying for 18 years for something that isn't yours.

Wow... way to encourage single guys to give single moms a break... that just about eliminates the last hope that single moms will be able to find a decent guy in Washington or California. I mean, I used to be closeminded to single moms, but I've since met a few that have it together and just happened to make a mistake earlier in life... there can be some real hotties/gems in the single mom category if you can somehow overlook the kid... but with laws like that, who wants to take a chance?

 

[hornydude]

Well it never happened to me, but I was deathly afraid of it happening especially with one GF I had for a short while. She was nuts for babies, which I can't stand. I remember one time she spread her legs and I had wood all ready to plow her, and she would open up her arms in a big embrace and say out loud with a big smile on her face, "GIMME A BABY!!!!".... I instantly lost wood. I lay on top of her and whispered in her ear, "listen sweetheart, let's pretend you're gonna get a baby but to do so, you have to not say that so we can pretend to get you pregnant, ok?". I cut the relationship a few days after that... I was so afraid of her that I couldn't even get a blowjob without being paranoid that she'd run to the bathroom and go impregnate herself. Only anal would have saved that relationship, if it actually had lasted long enough.

That's the type of situation that should say to a man, if I may paraphrse Monty Python's cast in "The Quest for the Holy Grail": 'Run away! Run away!"