smells like teen spirit
No, kitten - there is no Cooking-with-Pam odour to the oils I mentioned.
All masssage oils have some kind of carrier oil, and the carrier oil itself is unscented. That's what the oils I mentioned are. If you want them to smell lover-ly, just add 2-7 drops of essential oil to every 100mls of carrier oil.
Most massage parlours use Baby oil, which has a mineral oil base and does a real number on linens. And please, is there anything less sexy than a baby?
Oh - I'm an MP, and I usually use almond or grapeseed, with scents added only if my clients request it. Nothing gives a philanderer away like smelling of patchouli and lavender!
I've never had either leave stains of any kind, even at home in my own bed, when I'm not prepared to use moderation. Of any kind. At all. (mmm...slippery!)
And Yogi - that stuff sounds gorgeous! But because of the olive oil, it would in all likelihood stain, so be careful. But what slick and sweetly smelling fun for rolling around on plastic mats at fetish parties! Um.. Just me, huh? Oops.