Ladies has this happened to you before?

[postiepete]

I recently had a SP who I consider a friend call me because she was upset over a client. She left the clients motel room because he was not listening to her boundaries. They were into their session 15- 20 minutes and she told him not to do something 4 times because it hurt her. He continued, she was then feeling unsafe and not respected so she got up and started to leave. He wanted some money back and said he was not going to let her leave with his money. This made her feel worse and more threatened. She did not feel a refund was called for after all she was willing to provide service and he messed up not her. Also he did get service as it was not like she just walked in the door. There was no fault of hers here. On her way out he made some threats along with nasty comments.

Discuss please.

 

[luvsdaty]

What a dick.

 

[hipdude]

. It was a very scary thing and totally out of this mans character.

Nothing is done out of character.... if a person does it, he does it. It's part of his character. Perhaps you didn't understand his character well enough to see the variations. Aside from the fact he hurt you, you should be disturbed that you see men in this way particularly as an SP - way too trusting.

The people who do the worst things are sometimes the ones who seem to be the most courteous or mild mannered or the meekest. You really don't know someone who pays you to sleep with them, period. You only really know someone if you are truly personally involved with them.

 

[sevenofnine]

sadly to say i think this is pretty common

don't want to speak for any ladies,
but the conversations i have had,
lead me to believe alot of guys think they can put there money down,
and well they have paid for it. its not about respect or mutual fun or enjoyment

its about taking out there frustrations of life or women or sex,
i suppose we all do this to various degree seek an escape or release of some kind.

its just some guys enjoyment is well mutual fun and respect,

others is well more power force i can because i paid or your a trap or whore nothing, your just a dirty little slut. and there on this power trip or ego trip


hard to fathom but like i said some guys get off on mutual respect fun were all in this together,

others its more about them and power and control

 

[Ms. Yoko Anna]

I had one over-night call in a middle of no-where on salt spring island.
The client kept taking off condoms and tried to have non protected intercourse.
I complained half dozen time, and he did not listen.
So, I held his neck and told him off. He got sulky and went asleep.

I would have left if I was in Victoria, though middle of night, middle of no where and ferry was not running.
In retrospect, I'm glad he did not try to physically make his way.

So sorry to hear that kind of situation happened to the specific SP.
I'm pretty positive, people who enjoy this hobby so much that being active posters on perb won't abuse ladies like that guy.

 

[postiepete]

What's there to discuss pp? Dude was out of line and no it doesn't shock me in the least. There's tons of idiots out there and that's why what SP's do is very dangerous. Anyone who says otherwise is being naive :nod:

It is not right the estranged guy can come on review boards and ditch the girl and hurt her reputation and business. Is a girl supposed to be submissive and take anything out of fear that someone will try and ruin her? I have dated sp’s before and have seen how some idiots can act and feel entitled to do whatever they want because they have paid. It seems more people are stressed these days and violence is on the rise.

 

[Holly Taylor]

The client pushing her boundaries and not listening to her say no is entirely his fault. I do think that her response to his assault could have been better, however.

For example, there is no way that the appointment should have progressed to the point where she was saying no for the 4th time. Saying no once is fine, in my opinion, because I consider this to be part of a clarification of boundaries. If the client does the same thing again after already being told no, then he has crossed the line and the appointment should be terminated immediately.

With regard to the money, obviously she is entitled to it. However, when you are in a dangerous situation with someone who doesn't respect boundaries, you just have to do whatever you can to get out as fast as possible. Arguing is always a bad idea. Just drop the money and get out. Safety is more important than proving your point, or getting x amount of money.

That being said, I was not there. I can envision situations where a sex-worker doesn't feel safe saying no and just continues on with the activities, hoping that she will just be able to leave without incident at the end of the appointment time. The last thing I want to do is engage in any sort of victim-blaming; The person committing the assault is at fault, period. Whatever the sex-worker thinks will most promote her safety is what she should do.

Best wishes to your friend. I know I would be extremely upset if I had to deal with a situation like that.

 

[violetblake]

Well put Holly.

 

[vancity_cowboy]

I recently had a SP who I consider a friend call me because she was upset over a client. She left the clients motel room because he was not listening to her boundaries. They were into their session 15- 20 minutes and she told him not to do something 4 times because it hurt her. He continued, she was then feeling unsafe and not respected so she got up and started to leave. He wanted some money back and said he was not going to let her leave with his money. This made her feel worse and more threatened. She did not feel a refund was called for after all she was willing to provide service and he messed up not her. Also he did get service as it was not like she just walked in the door. There was no fault of hers here. On her way out he made some threats along with nasty comments.

Discuss please.

It is not right the estranged guy can come on review boards and ditch the girl and hurt her reputation and business. Is a girl supposed to be submissive and take anything out of fear that someone will try and ruin her? I have dated sp’s before and have seen how some idiots can act and feel entitled to do whatever they want because they have paid. It seems more people are stressed these days and violence is on the rise.

is it just me? or does this pete seem a little bit too close to the action to be your run of the mill pooner? pimp maybe?