How is it more expensive to have a GF than to pay for sex with escorts?

[Elmore]

I hear this comment often from guys here on the board and I just don't get it. I have been in a relationship again for the past few months and got to thinking about the subject. We both have busy work weeks but manage to find time to have sex at least once during the week and at least once on weekends. So we are probably having sex around 3 times a week.

She spends a couple of evenings each week at my place, sometimes overnighting and we ususlly watch TV or a movie or just talk. We go out on the weekend but she insists on paying her portion. We worked it out that one of us pays for the entire meal and I probably pay 60 to 70% of the time. Anyhow, if I had to pay an escort for sex as often as we have it, I would be spending 5 times as much as I do now. I could not even imagine the cost for those who pay for an escorts social time as well.

 

[GATSBY]

Firstly, congratulations. From my own personal experience, I agree with your observation. I'm living the college life right now and with my girlfriend, it's usually the daily expenses that add up since we see each other so often at school. Of course she does pitch in, but like you I cover around like 70-80% of the finances, not mentioning some gifts I spoil her with from time to time (within the limits of what I make with part-time work). Even with all that, it would not compare to the expense of spending time with an escort, especially the higher end ones.

However, there's too many variables of a relationship that could tip the scale either way, but I think that the general consensus that it is more expensive to have a girlfriend than to pay for escorts is misleading.

 

[Elmore]

I think unless you're going on really really cheap dates, I'd say the cost is about the same at the end of the day. Only difference is a year or years down the road the SP isn't expecting a proposal

Before you say the cost evens out you have to consider what you get for your money. The amount of time a person spends with a GF over the course of a month doesn't compare to the 8 hours per month with an escort that you describe in your scenario. Personally, I spend as much money or more just socializing and hanging out friends after work and on weekends as I do when I am in a relationship. I find the single life to be pretty expensive even without paying for escorts.

 

[lenny]

Only difference is a year or years down the road the SP isn't expecting a proposal

That's the biggie. Say goodbye to 50% of your assets.

 

[Elmore]

That's the biggie. Say goodbye to 50% of your assets.

Been there, done that and I won't be making that mistake again. But losing more than half my assets was more than worth it.

 

[BrokeBastard]

It really depends on the girl you go out with, her values, her lifestyle, the type of money she makes.

For instance you could end up going out with someone who loves to dine out all the time, or loves to travel, have expensive hobbies, have a lot of close friends which you will have to attend weddings and social gatherings you wouldn't have to if you were single. Also if she is very close to her family you'd have to get gifts for parents/siblings for holidays, bdays, special days like Father's day and Mother's day as the two of you get closer.

And don't think the sex will always be hot and heavy. Otherwise why do you think so many married guys go seek SPs?

 

[lenny]

Been there, done that and I won't be making that mistake again. But losing more than half my assets was more than worth it.

I've been paying her for years, may have to pay for decades more, & even after i die.

 

[vancity_cowboy]

I hear this comment often from guys here on the board and I just don't get it. I have been in a relationship again for the past few months and got to thinking about the subject. We both have busy work weeks but manage to find time to have sex at least once during the week and at least once on weekends. So we are probably having sex around 3 times a week.

She spends a couple of evenings each week at my place, sometimes overnighting and we ususlly watch TV or a movie or just talk. We go out on the weekend but she insists on paying her portion. We worked it out that one of us pays for the entire meal and I probably pay 60 to 70% of the time. Anyhow, if I had to pay an escort for sex as often as we have it, I would be spending 5 times as much as I do now. I could not even imagine the cost for those who pay for an escorts social time as well.

let's say we just put this conversation on hold, then re-visit it again in oh... let's say... three years. ok?

 

[Dgodus]

I've said gf's are more expensive somewhere else (probably in the actual thread about it), but I'm not referring to money. I've never in my life had an issue with any SO wanting lots of "stuff" (dinners, gifts, whatever) from me. The cost I'm referencing is emotional and mental toll. It can come in many forms depending on what the situation is with that particular girl so I wont get into any specifics as it's so varied, but generally over time it starts to build up. Personally these things (my time, well being, moods) can easily be more valuable to me than simple financial issues (I can also lead a simple lifestyle and be "content" if the current situation requires it). So "cost" can be an ambiguous word depending on what you truely value.

Purely financial, yea if you regular visit sp's they're more expensive. If you're values are a little different it's going to be personally biased. How much do you value not having to emotionally pick someone up (have them leech off you emotionally)? How soon before having to reassure someone all the time will it really get to you? How much do you enjoy your freedom to do with your time as you please? This list can go on and on from who you're spending time with, arguments over nothing, having someone be able to drastically affect your mood depending on how they're feeling, etc, etc.... To answer the question you have to know what you really value. There's absolutly no cost involved with seeing an sp other than money, it's extremly simple and pressure free.

 

[lenny]

The cost I'm referencing is emotional and mental toll. It can come in many forms depending on what the situation is with that particular girl so I wont get into any specifics as it's so varied, but generally over time it starts to build up. Personally these things (my time, well being, moods) can easily be more valuable to me than simple financial issues (I can also lead a simple lifestyle and be "content" if the current situation requires it). So "cost" can be an ambiguous word depending on what you truely value.

Excellent point. That would be my main reason for preferring escorts over GFs.

 

[Dgodus]

Excellent point. That would be my main reason for preferring escorts over GFs.

To be fair, I'm sure alot of people say they prefer sp's over gf's for whatever reasons, but there is alot of truth in the fact it would be very hard for them to find a gf (ranging from reasons of their standards are too high, or they themselves aren't dateable people). Personally I prefer sp's over gf's, but the reality is that right now I dont really have the option of a gf at all. I live/work in a 15 -1 or 20 - 1 male to female environment, with alot of those women not being in my age bracket, unavailable, or undesirable. Even the option to have a "date" isn't really available as even that sort of activity/environment isn't near by (well I could get real creative, but it is a real bummer going to that effort for someone turning out to be a dud). Not too mention the gossip factor involved with the living situation of a camp and small towns.

Just pointing out there is some truth to the point BD was trying to make.

 

[gpchillin]

The difference is that when the escort leaves she doesn't take your house with her unlike in a relationship Plus your not paying a few thousand dollars a month to the escort to not have sex with you after she leaves again like you do in a failed relationship does. Add that up and that is a shit ton of visits to an escort to add up to that kind of money people have to pay their ex's.

So ya in the end pretty much everything is cheaper then a relationship that failed.

 

[westcoast555]

Try wining and dining her for a few months, helping her with a 'temporary' loan for short rent and taking her on holiday to Cancun then divide by the number of blowjobs and report back with some updated numbers.

 

[uncleg]

Try wining and dining her for a few months, helping her with a 'temporary' loan for short rent and taking her on holiday to Cancun then divide by the number of blowjobs and report back with some updated numbers.

................what, anal doesn't count ?

 

[Elmore]

Try wining and dining her for a few months, helping her with a 'temporary' loan for short rent and taking her on holiday to Cancun then divide by the number of blowjobs and report back with some updated numbers.

Helping her make rent? Who do you date? What's with all these comments as if most women would be living in a box under the bridge if it wasn't for the generous man supporting them? Plenty of women are extremely self sufficient.

I am leaving for vacation on Thursday and I considered taking her but I had this arranged before we even met and planned on going by myself.

But I also enjoy vacationing with a lady. Don't you? Because taking an escort on vacation will cost you at least twice as much as taking a girlfriend...even assuming you are paying for everything.

She knows this is casual and she seems to want the same thing for now. Things will likely change at some point and then I would probably go back to my fuck buddy if she is still single along with seeing escorts every now and then.

 

[Dgodus]

I am leaving for vacation on Thursday and I considered taking her but I had this arranged before we even met and planned on going by myself.

But I also enjoy vacationing with a lady. Don't you? Because taking an escort on vacation will cost you at least twice as much as taking a girlfriend...even assuming you are paying for everything.

She knows this is casual and she seems to want the same thing for now. Things will likely change at some point and then I would probably go back to my fuck buddy if she is still single along with seeing escorts every now and then.

Taken an escort on a short weekend vacation, and gone on the same with gf's. I think a sp is alot less likely to "ruin" your weekend (I mean it's their job ffs to make your weekend good isn't it?), as sometimes some bs can pop up with someone you aren't paying if they dont get their way. So just look at it in a manner of trying to better your odds of assuring a good trip. How do you want to pay basically? Money or potential bs?

I've never looked at something casual, or fwb's as being in a relationship or viewed her as a gf. Just a personal pov on that one.

I understand not wanting a relationship because of past pain, believe me on that, but there is a reason people generally like to couple up. Is closing the door on that the answer because of past pain or should you instead use that as experience to steer you away from repeating patterns in the future?

It's a rather stretched analogy I'll admit but could you say not wanting a relationship because it could potentially hurt you is like saying I'm not going to go and enjoy myself on a spectacular holiday in belize because I might get sunburn? You sacrifice the highs because you don't want to risk the lows, equaling mediocrity (and possibly a weekend off in Squamish picking beets).

Sex isn't the be all and end all. I've fucked more hot SP's on multiple continents than most, but it ain't enough, it's fun but empty. Ultimately it's a path that is also costly in emotional terms but from the other side of the coin.

I'm seeing the discussion more on cost of one versus the other. Not as a question of "would you or wouldn't you dependant on that cost". There is a difference. Even on that front the answers are going to be as varied as the people answering them (some may be self deluded as well lol). I can only speak for myself. Coupling up isn't something I find all that necessary, and only would consider it seriously if it was a really good match, I dont believe relationships are something you're suppose to have to "work at" or be filled with compromise; and I dont enjoy them at all in that manner.

 

[wild1]

Elmore,
It seems like you spend a lot of time just to judge the escort, their review , going through all ads, may be call them up...What does your GF feel about this??? I wonder if you are happy with your GF , Why dont you stop naging and complaining about how so and so looks like and calling people including myself shill ???? Just go have fun with your " GF " and let us write freely about what we feel...May be one day we come to your point of not paying to have SEX. But till then...LoL

 

[Elmore]

Taken an escort on a short weekend vacation, and gone on the same with gf's. I think a sp is alot less likely to "ruin" your weekend (I mean it's their job ffs to make your weekend good isn't it?), as sometimes some bs can pop up with someone you aren't paying if they dont get their way. So just look at it in a manner of trying to better your odds of assuring a good trip. How do you want to pay basically? Money or potential bs?

I thought you were looking at it from a financial perspective. But using hypothetical situations to support your point makes it seeming like you are grasping at straws on this. Life isn't all rainbows and unicorns. I would take the potential BS (is it 10% likely the vacation will be ruined by taking a GF or 50% or 80%?) that comes with taking someone who wants to be there over the 100% certainty that someone is there only because they are being paid for their company and as such needs to put up with any annoying tendency of mine because I am the paying customer.

 

[Elmore]

Elmore,
It seems like you spend a lot of time just to judge the escort, their review , going through all ads, may be call them up...What does your GF feel about this??? I wonder if you are happy with your GF , Why dont you stop naging and complaining about how so and so looks like and calling people including myself shill ???? Just go have fun with your " GF " and let us write freely about what we feel...May be one day we come to your point of not paying to have SEX. But till then...LoL

Anyone looking at your posting history would say you are a shill.

 

[wild1]

And what are you ??? Should i say it ....or just let you go with your financing your fuck buddy ......LOL