A woman was in a coma, she had been in it for months. Nurses were in
her room giving her a blanket bath. One of them was washing her
private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the
monitor when she touched her. They tried it again and sure enough
there was a small, recognizable movement. They went to her husband and
explained what happened, telling him, "crazy as this sounds, maybe a
little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma." The
husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they'd close the
Curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his
wife's room. After a few minutes the woman's monitor flatlined, no
pulse, no heart rate. The nurses ran into the room. "What happened?"
they cried. The husband said, "I'm not sure, I think she choked".
The teacher tells them to make a sentence with liver and cheese.
White kid says: "My mom made me a liver and cheese sandwich with all
my favorite ingredients and it was sooo delightful...Very generous of
my mother I must say"
Black kid says: "My daddy told my momma to go get the Government
cheese and she didn't, so my daddy punched her in the liver..."
Mexican kid says: "Some kids were trying to look under my sister's
dress so I told the vatos "Hey Cabron!! Liver alone. Cheese my
Sister!!!"
Wuz de nite befo Crimmus
And all ower da hood
ereybody wuz' sleepin'
Dey wuz sleepin' good.
We hunged up our stockings
An hoped like de' heck
That old Santa
Clause Be bringin' our check.
All o'de fambily
Wuz layin in de beds
While Ripple and Thunderbird
Danced through dey heads.
I passed out inna' flo
Right nex to my Maw
When I heard sech a fuss
I thunk: "It mus be de law!!!"
I looked out thru de bars
What covered my doe
'spectin' de sheriff
Wif a warrent fo sho.
And what did I see
said, "Lawd look at dat!!"
Ther' wuz a huge wadda' mellon
Pulled by giant warf rats!!
Now ober all de years
Santa Clause, he be white
But looks liken us bros
Gets a black Sanna dis nite.
Faster dan a Po'lees car
My home boy he came
He whupped on dem warf rats
An' called dem by name!
On Leroy, on 'Lonzo
And on Willie Lee
On Saphire, on Chenequa
Dey wuz a site to see!!
As he landed dat wadda' mellon
Out der in da skreet
I knowed it was fo' sho'
Da damndest site I ebber did see.
He didn't go down no chimbley
He picked da' lock on my doe
An' I sez to myself
"Shit!! He done dis befoe!!!"
He had dis big bag
Full of prezents I 'xpect
Wid Air Jordans and fake gold
To wear roun' my neck.
But he left no good prezents
Jus started stealing my shit
Got my drugs, got my guns,
Even got my burglar's kit!!
Wif my stuff in de bag
Out da window he flewed
I woudda' tried to catched him
But he stoled my 'nife too!!
He jumped on dat wadda' mellon
An' whipped out a switch
He wuz gone in a seccon'
Dat son of a bitch!!
Next year I be hopin'
Anutha Sanna we git
Cuz' diz here Sanna Clause
Jus' ain't werf a shit!!!
her room giving her a blanket bath. One of them was washing her
private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the
monitor when she touched her. They tried it again and sure enough
there was a small, recognizable movement. They went to her husband and
explained what happened, telling him, "crazy as this sounds, maybe a
little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma." The
husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they'd close the
Curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his
wife's room. After a few minutes the woman's monitor flatlined, no
pulse, no heart rate. The nurses ran into the room. "What happened?"
they cried. The husband said, "I'm not sure, I think she choked".
The teacher tells them to make a sentence with liver and cheese.
White kid says: "My mom made me a liver and cheese sandwich with all
my favorite ingredients and it was sooo delightful...Very generous of
my mother I must say"
Black kid says: "My daddy told my momma to go get the Government
cheese and she didn't, so my daddy punched her in the liver..."
Mexican kid says: "Some kids were trying to look under my sister's
dress so I told the vatos "Hey Cabron!! Liver alone. Cheese my
Sister!!!"
Wuz de nite befo Crimmus
And all ower da hood
ereybody wuz' sleepin'
Dey wuz sleepin' good.
We hunged up our stockings
An hoped like de' heck
That old Santa
Clause Be bringin' our check.
All o'de fambily
Wuz layin in de beds
While Ripple and Thunderbird
Danced through dey heads.
I passed out inna' flo
Right nex to my Maw
When I heard sech a fuss
I thunk: "It mus be de law!!!"
I looked out thru de bars
What covered my doe
'spectin' de sheriff
Wif a warrent fo sho.
And what did I see
said, "Lawd look at dat!!"
Ther' wuz a huge wadda' mellon
Pulled by giant warf rats!!
Now ober all de years
Santa Clause, he be white
But looks liken us bros
Gets a black Sanna dis nite.
Faster dan a Po'lees car
My home boy he came
He whupped on dem warf rats
An' called dem by name!
On Leroy, on 'Lonzo
And on Willie Lee
On Saphire, on Chenequa
Dey wuz a site to see!!
As he landed dat wadda' mellon
Out der in da skreet
I knowed it was fo' sho'
Da damndest site I ebber did see.
He didn't go down no chimbley
He picked da' lock on my doe
An' I sez to myself
"Shit!! He done dis befoe!!!"
He had dis big bag
Full of prezents I 'xpect
Wid Air Jordans and fake gold
To wear roun' my neck.
But he left no good prezents
Jus started stealing my shit
Got my drugs, got my guns,
Even got my burglar's kit!!
Wif my stuff in de bag
Out da window he flewed
I woudda' tried to catched him
But he stoled my 'nife too!!
He jumped on dat wadda' mellon
An' whipped out a switch
He wuz gone in a seccon'
Dat son of a bitch!!
Next year I be hopin'
Anutha Sanna we git
Cuz' diz here Sanna Clause
Jus' ain't werf a shit!!!
