Gossip Is Evil

[Purrr VertIcal]

I had put this in the 'Forward' Thread. It was off theme. So I thought better of it, started a new thread where it fits better.

...Yes! I want people to be forward.
Not rude. Forward.

Be Real. Be honest.

In casual acquaintances,
and in friendship,
and in relationships - 'forward' is essential.

I hate gossip. - - - No. I should say, LOATHE.
It's not sexist to say, guys rarely have the "Gossip Gene".
Worse yet, the gender 'with the 'Gene' who talk about you behind your back,
don't always realize the damage they do.
Or just don't care.
Often casually dismissing it, or falsely justifying it in their minds - blissfully sharing the 'durt' on others like a candy exchange.

So, it's another type of 'forward' worthy of utter respect,
if you are a truly quality individual, and your acquaintance/friendship is to be one of 'true grit' of substance, of very real quality, the following phrase applies with loud echos:

If you have a problem with (someone) me, confront me, clear it up, and put it into the past, and leave it there.
Leave it there.
Be real.

Don't 'paint the town' with it, and cause bogus biased, one-sided damage. It's not verbal ice cream for your hairdresser, co-workers, family, etc. I once had an office next to a nail salon, with paper thin walls. Makes your hair stand on end to overhear the 'harmless chatter'...

Huge Pet Peeve. A blood boiler.

I've been a victim of it.
And within Perb Cirlces I've also heard some nasty stories, and seen it happen here. The Women on here, and in the trade stick together, often for safety. They talk, sharing info. That's usually good.

Not always.
It can be damning, without equality of truth or fair hearing.
Gossip, back-talk, destroys friendships, reputations, people.
And sometimes, in the misguided name of 'good', or 'safety', someone gets burned, branded, labelled, outcast...etc.

So this is the Damaging Gossip Thread.

 

[Krustee]

Not always.
It can be damning, without equality of truth or fair hearing.
Gossip, back-talk, destroys friendships, reputations, people.
And sometimes, in the misguided name of 'good', or 'safety', someone gets burned, branded, labelled, outcast...etc.

So this is the Damaging Gossip Thread.

Buddy, I've been puttin up with this for some time now!

What do you really expect?

Wherever there is women, there is gossip!

It's been happening for thousands of years & it ain't gonna stop anytime soon.

I deliberately post like I do to perpetuate this disease & I am sure that you will find me on every black list out there.

This despite the fact that there is not a provider who has ever received anything but generosity & gentile treatment from me in person.

Gossip is a disease born into most women & some allow it to consume them.
Sad thing is many boys are infected too?

 

[Purrr VertIcal]

Funny how you cannot predict how a thread will do.
I thought this would become a hot topic. Such as it is.
Controversial and all...

 

[Purrr VertIcal]

This despite the fact that there is not a provider who has ever received anything but generosity & gentile treatment from me in person.

That's an interesting comment...

 

[Purrr VertIcal]

Presently I am within an active example, Which the next postings are rooted in.
I suspect it's a result of some gossip I am unaware of.

Recently I tried to get clarity with an acquaintance.
I cannot.
Worse, I am even thwarted from anyone being forward enough to tell me why it is going on.
It's a total cop out that lacks even a shred of respectability.
Oddly enough, the main person(s) involved have a reputation here on Perb for being highly regarded, highly respected. Thus, I really thought that the person would live up to that reputation.

Ironically, if I named names, I would be responding using gossip.

In the larger picture, (for this instance) it's trivial really.
But still has a unique importance.
Because the community is tight knit and interwoven.
People know everyone, almost.
And my character matters to me.

In this small corner where the issue has effect, with regards to one or two people,
its as if I've been unknowingly, and unfairly black-balled,
and there's nothing I can do to regain my honor, let alone find out why.
That's terrible.

Trivial, yes. It still matters to me, relatively. Because I want to believe that the person is all that I've percieved quality and fun, and which I've met. And I want to believe the reputation is real.

Sigh.

Gossip can be so biting as to be damning, without any representation.
In this case, the worst part is not knowing why people/a person has issue with you.
You don't even know where you stand or if you can fix it.

So you're left to jettison the whole thing. Frustrated.
And it's such a waste. And entirely retarded.

Sigh.

 

[Purrr VertIcal]

It is the essence, the very definition of frustration!

To want to know why you are, or are not, treated a certain way.
To be denied even the knowing.
To want to fix a flaw, or right a wrong.

...and to be refused.

One day you are happily invited and quite welcome,
the 'next' you are turned away.
...In between something happened,
and no one will tell you what, or why.
All you can do is guess.
And the likely culprit is something someone said about you.
Gossip.

The phrase, "Character Assassination" comes to mind.
Also the very definition of "unfair".

So yes, gossip is evil.
Utterly.

 

[Purrr VertIcal]

I think the most frustrating thing about gossip is,

how people will give it credence,
how it takes on substance,
and people will judge you by it,
like forming a conclusive opinion,

And there's nothing you can do about it.

Much in the same way as,
like being convicted by a lie.

So I say,
if anyone has a problem with a person,
based in hear-say,
spend the minutes of time with them to validate or refute it.

Life is too short for bullshit.
And acquaintances, relationships, fun, and friendships are too important,
to be wasted, skewered upon the stake of that bullshit.

Be real.

 

[Purrr VertIcal]

It's good to have a place to rant!

 

[Purrr VertIcal]

Note:

I just now did - I had to alter-edit a couple of key bits
of verbage in the above paragraphs,

- (I realized I nearly named a name indirectly,
and people with be storming with guessing...) -
as it was just slightly too far from a general framework-example,
getting slightly too close to specifics,
as to not "vent and rant", or perhaps inspire to fix things,
but instead to actually cause more problems.

Which is the last thing anyone needs.